Coexistence with Nature —— Understanding the Voice of Emotion

My friend, when you see the topic, you may think, how did you find an emotional entrance to explain Stoicism? A life that conforms to nature is the best life, that is, a happy life, and many times, emotions determine people's choices. In the following lectures, we will introduce the elements of happiness and the complete practical path, and understanding emotions is our first step.

1. Where do people's emotions come from?

Understanding people's emotions and managing them well are the first steps towards a free and peaceful life. However, this is a very difficult thing.

Psychologist Ronald Porter Efron once told a story: "Once upon a time, a couple went hiking and met an old wise man. The wise man sat them down and told them that they could ask him any questions. So, ask him the meaning of life and respond gladly. Asked the secret of his happiness, Kan Kan said. Ask him the secrets of the universe and tell him everything.

Then, the last question:' Master, we are often angry and often hurt each other when we are angry. "What should we do?" The wise man was speechless, gave them a hard stare, broke the pen in half, cursed loudly, stomped to the back room and slammed the door. The couple looked at each other, and after half a ring, the master came out,' alas,' and murmured to them,' I want to know the answer to this question, I won't sit alone in this mountain! "

Quiet and peaceful days, unparalleled hurricanes, let the ocean raise huge waves. The storm of fate and unpredictable emotions should be predicted and controlled by the wise, and send us to the port of happy life.

Happiness, sadness, disgust, anger, surprise, interest and fear are all human emotions. Although there are differences, they are all caused by external events and transmitted to the brain and central nervous system. Emotional outbursts can happen instantly, even before the parties realize it. I believe you have personal experience and feelings, and the stories about emotions in history are still circulating today.

King Cambyses of Persia was a heavy drinker, and his closest friend Prex Pace advised him to control himself, because the king was so popular that it was disgraceful to get drunk. Cambyses said quietly, "Let you know that I have never been unable to control myself. Let me show you that my eyes and hands can still function after drinking. " . He called the ministers to a banquet and drank a toast. When he was dizzy and drunk as a fiddler, he ordered Preske's son to go to the threshold and stand in front of him with his left hand over his head.

The king asked someone to bring his bow and arrow, pull it open, shoot an arrow, and hit the child's heart impartially. Then he stepped forward, cut open the child's chest with his sword and showed the arrow inserted in his heart. He turned to the child's father and asked, "Is my hand accurate?" The father replied, "Apollo can't shoot more accurately than this."

King Asti argus of Persia ordered Khabaros to kill Ju Lushi as a baby, but Khabaros did not do so. The king called him to the palace and ordered his son's meat to be made into a dish and given to him at the top of the banquet. In addition to persuading him to eat more, he kept asking whether the dish was to his taste. After seeing him feasting on his own flesh and blood, the king ordered the heads of his children to be brought, and asked him what he thought of the hospitality. Harpergus replied, "Everything on the royal table smells good."

How do their emotions arise and how do they control them? In any case, there is an extreme situation of human nature in anger and calmness, which is unparalleled evil and callousness.

Philip zimbardo, an American psychologist, believes that when people see a snake, they have two emotional systems, one is the subconscious system, which reacts quickly; The other is that the reaction speed of the conscious system will be slower, and the fast system will guide the visual information from the thalamus to the amygdala, and the amygdala will immediately start the fear and avoidance reaction, which all happen subconsciously. Physical function will also respond with psychological changes.

Rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, dry throat, and changes in facial expression, posture, voice and body movements. Smiling, frowning and laughing are all external manifestations, which are called emotional expression parts. Individuals convey the information of state through them, and people realize that they are in a certain degree of happiness, sadness, anger or fear, which is called emotional cognition.

Stoic philosophers believe that emotional response is a record of life perception. It comes from the collision of the outside world and is the fluctuation of our heart.

Zhi Nuo compared emotion to a bird that suddenly flapped its wings when it was frightened. Epiktetos said: "If there is an oil spill and wine is stolen, it can be said that you will make money if you are not tempted, and you will make money calmly. Pretend nothing happened. But you can't be calm, why? " They tried to find the reason and grasp the key to it.

Second, how to classify emotions?

What is emotion? According to modern psychology, emotion is a process consisting of physiological arousal, cognitive explanation, subjective feeling and behavioral expression. Stoic philosophers realized this cycle and expounded it from the perspective of good and evil, focusing on the influence of passion.

(1) Emotion and passion. Passion is a strong expression of emotion. One kind of distinction is this. Emotion belongs to a kind of thoughtless emotion, so we often say that so-and-so is impulsive. If a person lacks this restraint in talent, it is not evil, it is only a sign of weakness and childishness. However, passion is a bad feeling and becomes a lasting emotional deviation. If you cling to this preference and let it take root and grow, you will bring bad things into the code of conduct. This kind of bad is evil.

Epiktetos likes Medea's story very much. Jason, the hero who captured golden fleece, got golden fleece with the help of Medea, Princess of Kocsis, married her, and later abandoned his wife. Medea, jealous of the gods for revenge, gave Jason's bride a fine robe and a golden crown, poisoned the princess, and then killed herself and Jason's two children. The beautiful Medea reflected on why she wanted to kill her children, but decided that this passion was beyond her control.

Medea was born noble, intelligent and capable. She helped Jason, betrayed her father and killed her brother. The most important part of Jason's life is complete because of her. However, just because she was old and her complexion faded, her husband abandoned her and expelled her, and she suddenly became a vagrant beggar from a winner in life. This is the fate of a woman of noble birth and superior ability. In later operas, her sad image repeatedly praised the course of events, which made countless people cry.

Stoicism believes that passion will produce more evil. In their view, if reason does not control the reins in its own hands, emotions and preferences will in turn become the masters of people.

(2) the classification of passion. Zhi Nuo thinks that passion is irrational and excessive impulse, and it is a kind of soul movement against nature. Sipos said in On Passion that passion is actually a kind of judgment.

According to the Stoic philosophers, there are four common passions: fear, desire, happiness and pain. They believe that emotion is not a simple psychological activity, but a psychological activity corresponding to a certain physical movement. The soul will judge good and evil, and with this judgment, it will expand and contract, compress and expand to form movement, thus producing four emotions.

Fear refers to an expectation of evil, including fear, retreat, shyness, panic, groaning and worry. Desire is an irrational desire, including hope, disgust, competitiveness, anger, lust, resentment, lightly chastising and so on. Happiness refers to an irrational passion when faced with things worth choosing, such as intoxication, gloating, exultation, feeling difficult, etc.

Pain is an irrational retreat of the soul, which also contains resentment, sympathy, jealousy, jealousy, worry, sadness, grief, distress, madness and so on. Sipos classified 70 kinds of feelings, and Hiroyuki Kono believed that like Euclid's Elements of Geometry, Stoic philosophers constructed a unique ethical system.

We can feel that they are doing experiments, subdividing elements, thinking in categories, and turning the vague language of ethics into formulas and periodic tables of elements.

Stoic philosophers believe that in reality, good drives happiness, while evil drives pain. Anticipated evil is not in real life, but in the future, which drives fear, while anticipated good drives desire. Taking these four emotions as categories, there are many divisions.

Such as desire, anger, excessive sexual desire, desire and persistence for fame, happiness and wealth; There are self-satisfaction and deception in happiness; In fear, there are feelings of depression, embarrassment, surprise and superstition; There are various emotions such as jealousy, sadness and irritability in pain.

You think, YYDS, why bother? This is a split cognition. When you are angry because your child's homework has never been finished and your partner's life is lazy, you can consider what kind of emotions you belong to, which is very helpful for understanding and controlling your emotions. Of course, it is best to vent.

But philosophers can't. They have to attend classes. No, they must understand and explain the world.

Modern psychology has proved that there are at least seven basic facial expressions, which are common in different cultures. As for how many emotions people have, scientists have not yet reached a consensus. However, most experts believe that there are not many basic emotions. For example, there are seven basic emotions on ekman's list, which are anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, contempt and surprise. Robert Prut Koch thinks there are eight kinds of emotions.

After the basic emotions are combined, more complex emotions can be generated. If you look for an English dictionary, you can find more than 500 words related to emotions, and there will be more words in Kangxi Dictionary. What's the use of complicated emotions? Make people's spiritual life more colorful? Or is it to let the world have more stories?

Third, how to treat the influence of emotions?

All the stories are false, but I still want to start with a story from Night in the Attic, an anecdote book written by Horus Griou in Roman times. Griou set out from Casiapa, Corfu Island, crossed the Ionian Sea, arrived in Brendim, southern Italy, and went to Rome. He mentioned a fellow traveler, a respected Stoic teacher who taught in Athens.

The ship was caught in a violent storm, which lasted all night The passengers were worried about their lives, and they tried to hold on to the hull to prevent drowning. Grio noticed that the teacher's face was as white as paper, and he was as anxious as other passengers. However, only the teacher kept silent, instead of crying in fear and lamenting his predicament. When approaching the destination, Big sea and the sky calmed down, and Leus gently asked the Stoic teacher why he looked almost as scared as others in the storm.

Seeing that Grio sincerely asked for advice, he modestly replied that the founder of Stoicism taught people to face this danger naturally and how to spend the inevitable short period of fear.

The founder of Stoge distinguished two stages of our response to any event, including the threat situation. The first is the initial imagination (fantasy). When we first encounter something like a storm at sea, it will freely force its way into our minds from the outside. Epiktetos said that these impressions can be triggered by a terrible sound, such as thunder, the collapse of buildings or sudden panic screaming.

Even a perfect saint will be shocked by this sudden impact at first, and will instinctively shrink back in horror. This reaction does not come from the wrong value judgment, but from the emotional reflection caused by temporarily skipping rationality in his body. This emotional response is equivalent to that experienced by non-human animals. For example, seneca pointed out that when animals are frightened by the appearance of danger, they will run away, but after that, their anxiety will soon ease and return to a calm state. "In contrast, human thinking ability makes our worries transcend the boundaries of nature. Therefore, the Stoics believe that rationality is our greatest blessing and the greatest curse.

The Stoic School said that in the second stage of the reaction, we added the judgment of "consistency" (that is, automatic impression) to these spontaneous impressions. The wise man's reaction is different from that of most people. He disapproved of the initial emotional reaction to the situation that invaded his mind. Epiktetos said that Stoics should neither agree with nor believe these emerging emotional impressions, such as anxiety in the face of danger.

On the contrary, he thinks these emotional reactions are misleading, refusing to accept, ignore and discard them. In contrast, unwise people will be dragged away by their initial impressions of external events, including those terrible and frightening events, and continue to worry, worry and even complain loudly about the threats they perceive.

A certain degree of anxiety is natural. Even the most experienced sailor. Courage lies in dealing with the situation rationally regardless of everything. Similarly, the Stoic told himself that although the situation looked bad, the really important issue in life was how he chose to deal with it.

What we have to do is not to aggravate our pain because of the terrible impression, but to tell ourselves that some terrible disasters are about to happen. A wise man will tremble in the face of danger. What is important is that he insists on his rational ability, accepts and transcends these feelings, and shows his self-control ability. He was not intoxicated by the charming happy song, and he was not afraid of stinging.

Losing a loved one will make people sad, being insulted will make people angry, winning the lottery will make people happy, and the beloved will make people jealous when they see their ex-boyfriend. What do these strong emotions have in common? Why put it in the category of emotion? The answer is that all emotions are related to the individual's psychology and physiological activation state, which focuses on the events that are very important to the individual.

It can be said that only by measuring a person and seeing his fear, desire, anger and happiness can we recognize his virtue. Only when certain events happen can we have a deeper understanding. Honeymoon travel is easier to find spiritual problems than marriage examination.

So, you must ask, what is the function? The essence of emotional evolution is to help us cope with important situations and help us convey our intentions to others. The purpose of emotion is to elaborate and express, influence and change, and the object is self and others. I am the master of my emotions, rather than going with the flow and letting nature take its course. Adapting to nature is to accept the law, and hearing the voice of emotion is to find a rational coping path.

Emotion can now be regarded as an important part of our thinking process, which has long been ignored by behaviorists and cognitive psychologists. Many details have not been clarified, such as the details of emotional circuits in the brain and the causes of many emotional disorders, such as depression and mania. Since 2000 years ago, Stoic philosophers have emphasized the need to solve this problem with wisdom, believing that only essential thinking can have a long-term correct answer.

4. What emotions should a smart person have?

In a person's life, a state of balance is maintained between sensibility and rationality. Facing life, we need to remind ourselves that rationality is indispensable. A rigid rational life is beyond the reach of ordinary people, while a purely emotional life will inevitably bring a person into the abyss. In the stoic view, a good state is "a calm and rational desire, a rational prudence in the face of threats, and a rational determination to punish evil." In their view, the wise will not indulge in emotions and let them fluctuate.

Correct fluctuations and passions. Ju Lushi once vented his anger on a river. At that time, he led an army bent on destroying Babylon and planned to wade the Kindes River, which was flooded. The white horse of a king's chariot was swept away by the river under the action of the swift current. The king vowed to kill the river that took the king's royal horse.

He made all preparations for the war. He ordered the soldiers to cut 180 on both sides of the river bed, diverted the river into a small river flowing in all directions, and finally dried up the river bed here completely. He won the river, but sacrificed the opportunity to fight and the morale of the troops, and lost the opportunity to conquer Babylon.

Aristotle supported anger and thought that anger could inspire virtue. If we deprive anger, human reason will become unable to defend itself, thus becoming lazy, negligent and indifferent to all kinds of great efforts.

Stoic scholars are completely different. They believe that passion is an emotion beyond rational control and a paranoid psychological and emotional state that needs to be corrected. In fact, anger only makes people rely on the evil of others, because they think that they are provoked by others and induced by others to produce uncontrollable psychological state, that is to say, anger has made them lose themselves. For a person, nothing hurts himself more than losing himself. Out-of-control passion will be stimulated again and again, and indulged again and again. Passion can only play a destructive role. After all, the strength gained when you have a high fever is short-lived and harmful, and can only do harm to yourself.

Unity of spiritual strength. Stoic scholars disagree with classical Greek philosophy and discuss rationality and irrationality in a dualistic way. They think that rationality and irrationality are not two completely different functions of the brain. On the contrary, reason is not independent of feeling, but works, that is, it is not always possible to make a correct judgment by either implementing good control or not intervening. Seneca believes that reason and emotion are not completely separated, but unified in the mind. Reason without emotion is useless, and emotion without reason is stupid.

Othello, one of the four tragedies created by william shakespeare, tells the story that Othello was a brave general in the Venetian Principality. He fell in love with the senator's daughter Desdemona. This marriage is not allowed because they are too different in age. The two had to get married in private. Othello has a sinister flag bearer Iago who wants to get rid of Othello. First, he tipped off the senator just to get married. He also provoked the feelings between Othello and Desdemona, saying that another lieutenant, Cassio, had an unusual relationship with Desdemona and forged the so-called love oath.

Othello believed it and strangled his wife in a rage. Knowing the truth, he drew his sword, committed suicide with remorse and fell beside Desdemona. Othello's twisted and destructive desire directly led to the tragedy that the kind Desdemona was strangled by innocence. Othello described it this way: "She loves all the hardships I have experienced, and I love her because she sympathizes with me". Desdemona was still excusing Othello before she died, and Othello went to loneliness and destruction in foolish doubt and credulity and hopeless anger.

Have rational emotions. People have many irrational desires and emotions. Stoicism does not believe that unhealthy emotions should be suppressed, but should be replaced by healthy emotions. However, these healthy emotions are not completely under our control, and we are not always guaranteed to experience them, so we should not confuse them with virtue, which is the main goal of life. They look like a bonus.

When firefighters rushed into the fire, when soldiers expressed their clear love for the motherland and went to the battlefield, when the epidemic raged and medical staff went to the epidemic area, that kind of emotion sublimated themselves from humble to noble memories.

There is a common misunderstanding that Stoicism is an indifferent person. Smart people are not made of steel, but of flesh and blood. The ancient stoics always denied this. In epiktetos' prose, he said: "Because we should not be as insensitive and heartless as statues, on the contrary, we should try our best to maintain an innate or acquired relationship with others, and be a devout person, a filial son, a loving brother, a kind father and a law-abiding citizen."

Epiktetos is like a clear-headed urchin, similar to Su Dongpo. He regards life as a game of playing ball, and the key is how to play the ball well, not how to win the game. External things are indifferent, but how to use these external things is not indifferent. The world can't corrupt you. As long as you stick to your beliefs and pursue virtue, other achievements will naturally come. If you can help others, you should stay enthusiastic and focused, not suffer losses.

Seneca pointed out that the wise will be hit by some misfortunes, but they will not be defeated, such as physical pain, illness, loss of friends or children, or disasters caused by failure. There is no virtue in enduring things that do not feel pain. To show the virtue of moderation, we must give up some desires, show courage, and at least endure instinctive fears. People should control external influences through reason, so as to realize unbiased control of freedom.

According to the Stoicism, a smart person should have only three emotions, namely, happiness, prudence and will. Joy and happiness are different, and they are the exaltation of internal reason; Caution is different from fear, and it is an avoidance of inner reason. Similarly, will is the realization of reason, which is different from desire. Similarly, such ideal emotions are also divided into two levels. There is goodwill, friendship and love under will, and shame and awe under caution. Beneath the joy is joy, comfort, etc. The translation of words is not accurate enough, and the meanings are basically the same.

People don't have to abandon everything, but should pursue the enrichment and perfection of their own lives. Of course, if there is a conflict with virtue, you should choose virtue. Because in life, the best quality is to call us and let our virtues shine. The purpose of emotion is to arouse and inspire us to show ourselves and break through ourselves.

5. Can you manage your emotions?

Can emotions be managed? Not exactly. I thought of a joke: "The elephant stepped on the ant nest, and all the angry ants climbed on the elephant's back. As soon as the elephant shook its body, the ants were shaken off to the ground, leaving an ant clinging to the elephant's neck. The ants on the ground shouted in unison:' strangle it, strangle it'. " Can you stifle your emotions? It's like grabbing your hair and letting yourself leave the ground and go to the moon.

Listen to the voice of reason. In real life, the judgment standard of emotion can only come from the heart-the heart with rich knowledge and life experience, so that the heart can understand what a natural voice is. Get used to a clear, calm and rational life and pursue happiness, prudence and kindness, and happiness will become more concrete.

It is not shameful to shed tears for others, nor is it shameful to grieve for the imperfection of the outside world, but is there something impure in the mood? For example, inappropriate love, stupid love and possessive love are all problems we have to solve. Stoic philosophy hopes that people can face the difficulties of life more rationally, not only pay attention to the collective feelings, but also examine their own hearts and think about whether what they do meets the goals of life.

Someone asked, should I hide my emotions? Doesn't Stoic philosophy require people to speak their minds at any time? So, is it hypocritical to cover up? No, hiding emotions is not only helpful at work, but also helpful in many other situations.

If you hate a direct leader, it is obviously wise not to let him know your true feelings. If you like someone and the other person doesn't realize it, the safest way is to let the other person feel your love slowly, otherwise it will easily scare the other person away. In business negotiation, it is best not to let your opponent observe your emotional reaction, including playing cards, games and other occasions. Everyone needs some control, which plays an important role in interpersonal communication. These questions have nothing to do with good and evil in essence. Stoicism thinks it can be ignored, which means it doesn't matter.

However, we should keep a rational attitude towards important issues.

Mathea was a close friend of Olivia, Augustus' wife. She has been very sad since her son Metelius died. Seneca wrote a book to comfort Marcia. "Why are you crying for the fragments of life? The whole life is worth our tears. The old problems have not been solved yet, and new problems are imminent. Therefore, you should develop the habit of moderation and use people's hearts to deal with many of your worries. " "What is man-made? A ship that will break at the slightest touch. You don't need a big storm to blow you off track: whatever you hit, you will be destroyed. "

He comforted himself with the same words during his exile. In life, we are all observers and experiencers, both spectators and actors. In his view, the heart should be used in the shaping of virtue, not in the expression of emotion.

Roman Emperor Antony summoned the best teachers of rhetoric and philosophy to train Marcus Aurelius to prepare for his succession to the throne. The teacher gets along well with him and is like family to him. When one of his favorite teachers died, it was said that Kyle was crying, and the servants in the palace tried to stop him, fearing that people would find out his mourning behavior and thought it was not suitable for the future ruler. However, Anthony told them not to bother Kyle: "this time, let him be a person;" Because neither philosophy nor empire can deprive a person of his natural feelings. "

Kyle quoted Epicurus' famous saying in Meditations: "About pain: those we can't stand will eventually take our lives, and those lasting pains are tolerable." The point is that those unbearable chronic pains will eventually kill us, so as long as we live, it proves that we can bear more.

Ignore objective thinking. Epicurus gave four sentences to people's emotional diseases: "God is not terrible, death is not terrible, pain is easy to get rid of, and happiness is easy to get." However, they are too focused on their own small circle and lack a big vision. Stoic philosophers teach people that people should live together and live in a social way, and citizens of the world city-states need to be interdependent in order to obtain real peace, which is much more complete than Epicurus' personal "friendship" without social foundation.

Epiktetos believes that some people living in this world have defined the correct understanding very early, lived in peace and order, and won everything they wanted. Others can't see clearly all the time, and they are torn apart by the strong wind, sometimes slanting here and sometimes slanting there, and nothing is found. Passion subverts the rational order. Happy or rational life keeps everything in the normal order, and only the normal order can make people get the correct impression. This is the ethical feature of Stoic philosophy. People who don't understand nature can't be rational.

Goethe said: "When everything goes well, the fire of my poetry is quite weak. However, when fleeing from the coming disaster, it burns brightly and beautiful poems are like rainbows. It can only be painted in a bleak background, and the poet's talent likes to chew melancholy situations. " Goethe, 74, fell in love with ulrich, a girl of 19 years old. "Today, the flowering period has passed, and heaven and hell are wide open, and my heart is in a dilemma!" Like a pile of dying ashes, it was suddenly ignited by the mountain wind, and the flame swallowed up everything left. Is this a favor or a punishment? Yano Kaisheng believes that this is Goethe's greatest shame. Is the reason irrational love? This is so unnatural.

We can learn to control our emotions from three points. First, we should overlook our vision, treat ourselves like the universe, and take an objective attitude. "Life is harvested like ripe ears of wheat. One person is born and the other person dies. " Second, keep your distance from yourself. Look at your own life experience and look at it like a bystander. Only in this way can you not easily fall into the emotional trap and maintain a detached attitude. Even if you treat people close to you, it should be rational comfort. Marcus Aurelius said: "Don't cry with others, don't have too strong feelings."

Third, think about extreme situations, including death, and look at everything more calmly, including some situations that ordinary people can't stand. For example, seneca said, "Don't try to control anger, but try to eradicate it completely, because what can be done to control evil things?" In this matter, what can help us the most is to think about our own mortality rate. "

To sum up: First of all, understanding emotions requires "wisdom". From the evolutionary point of view, the role of emotion is to help individuals respond to survival and reproduction. In the social process, it can play the role of communicating feelings and conveying intentions. Under normal circumstances, emotions can help us to play a role, but if the intensity of emotions is too large or lasts too long, it will also have a destructive effect.

Secondly, we should suppress unhealthy emotions and replace them with healthy ones. Accept the trigger of the phenomenon and reserve the right to judge. Sometimes lost sadness can only be cured by time, and inner anger can only be cured by empathy. Hugging is a relief, and indulgence can't solve any problems.

Finally, emotion should not be confused with virtue, which is the main goal of life. They're like extra rewards. We should control the external influence through rationality, so as to realize the unbiased control of freedom.

People who know the voice of emotion, under the guidance of reason, let the emotional flow merge into rivers and lakes, enter the sea, and obtain the ultimate freedom and peace.