Looking for jokes?

1, Xinyi, Pingzhi and Kidd were also invited to attend the meeting of so-and-so celebrities, just as they were in the same boat. Pingzhi believes that a couple of Kidd are uneasy about being invited, but Kidd is dismissive of the two detectives. When the boat rowed somewhere, Kidd woke up after a sleep and found that the boat had stopped. The couple said to him, "I left my mobile phone at home, please wait for me for a while!" " "Say that finish, I turned over and jumped into the boat. running all the way was like a dragonfly. Soon I ran back, proudly waving my mobile phone in my hand.

Then Pingzhi also shouted, "No, I left my sword at home!" " "After jumping off the boat, it was also a wave of Shui Piao. I saw the waves splashing, and I came back with my sword in a few minutes.

Kidd, not to be outdone, also shouted, "I left my glider at home!" " "What did you forget? If you want a glider, you will keep flying. You jumped off the boat and plopped into the bottom of the river. Embarrassed, I climbed onto the boat, refused to accept it, jumped down again and plopped off the boat vertically. This time, a small fish slipped over his neck, which made him scream. Feeling a little sorry, Pingzhi quietly asked Shinichi:

"Kudo, shall we tell him where those stones are?"

3. Once gin and vodka went hunting deer in the mountains, two greedy people caught two deer. When flying back, the captain said worriedly, "So many deer are overweight!" " "Both of them said dismissively," what are you afraid of? We hunted so many deer last year and flew back! " "The captain couldn't beat them (even two people in black sunglasses were afraid) and had to let them on the plane.

The plane flew smoothly for a while, suddenly shook and finally fell down. The two men stood up pale. Vodka looked around and whispered to Juniper, "Boss, it seems that we fell here last year!" " "

In a draft competition, Shinichi, Pinger and Kidd appeared one after another. First of all, Heiji used a brush to flash a sword as bright as day, and then I saw the sword shining and the wind whistling. Hattori's ancestral swordsmanship was vividly displayed by Heiji. Finally, even before people could see it clearly, Pingzhi had put his sword in its sheath, stood majestically on the stage and shouted, "I am the wind!" " "

Then Kidd. He shouted and shook his white cloak. Hundreds of pigeons flew to Qi Fei, and then I saw petals falling like clouds. Kidd whirled and danced in the air like a fairy. Then he also shouted, "I am a cloud!" " "

At first sight, the top two are so wonderful, and the psychological pressure is not small. He was carrying a silver football on the court, and he learned the skills all his life. When he saw the football flying around, people couldn't see how many it was, and everyone was amazed. However, a short slip makes a long regret, and I have peace insurance ~ it is said that it is too late. When Shinichi hooked a football with an upside-down gold hook in the air and was about to turn over and land, a bolt from the blue hit his foot, only to see Shinichi lose his balance and fall to the ground head-down, with a big hole on the stage and a big bag on his head. Pinky Kidd panicked. Go help him. However, I saw Shinichi stagger to his feet and shouted, "Who am I? ! "

5. On one occasion, Xinyi, Xiaolan and Ye traveled by plane.

Something went wrong in the middle of the flight, and we needed to skydive to escape.

There are only three parachutes, so one person has to make sacrifices.

Finally, it was decided that the smartest freshmen would ask three questions, and those who couldn't answer them would jump.

So a new question asked Xiaolan: "How many suns are there in the sky?" "one"

So Xinyi asked Ye, "How many moons are there in the sky?" "one"

So the new one asked Hattori, "How many stars are there in the sky?" "……"

Hattori died voluntarily and jumped, but he hung on a branch and didn't die, which was fatal.

Since then, the four * * * once again had the opportunity to travel.

The same thing happened,

So I decided to decide a self-sacrificing person as before.

So Xinyi asked Xiaolan, "How many eyebrows does a person have?" "two roads"

So Xinyi asked Ye Yue, "How many eyes does a person have?" "two"

So a new question asked Hattori: "How many eyelashes does a person have?" "……"

Hattori volunteered to die, but he fell into the lake and didn't die, which was fatal.

The third time four people took the opportunity to travel, they encountered this danger again.

Hattori immediately stood up and said bravely, "Don't ask, I'll jump!" "

Falling so firmly ...

The new class immediately regretted it and shouted at Hattori, who was falling rapidly in the air, "Hattori! We brought four parachutes this time ... "

6. It's a bit confusing to say that Maori is a detective, but his mind is still good at ordinary times. This time he went into a small hotel and asked for a glass of beer. After taking a sip, he frowned and asked the waiter, "Do you want your beer without ice?" The waiter gave him a white look: "No, drink if you want, and pay for it if you don't want to drink."

Maori put down his glass and asked, "How much is a tie?"

"30。"

"then."

Maori took out a handful of one-dollar coins, snapped and turned away. The waiter was very angry, but he still picked up the money one by one, counted it carefully, and added a few more, which was a relief.

The next day, Maori came again. The waiter snorted and said to him, "I have never held a grudge against money, so I won't care about it with you for the last time." What do you want? "

Maori took out a 50 yuan bill: "A bundle of beer."

The waiter took the money and smiled and took out a handful of coins: "Here is your change. One piece, two pieces ... "He counted and threw the money all over the floor. After seeing him throw them out one by one, Maori took out about 10 coins and put them on the counter. He said quietly, "Add up those changes and have another one."

7, step beauty:

Bumei was accidentally caught copying books by the teacher, so the serious old teacher took Bumei's admission ticket and asked her to leave the examination room. Bumei sat there quietly, her eyes red. The teacher couldn't bear it, so he said, "This one is not an achievement. Just do the rest! " But the tears of beauty began to fall drop by drop. The teacher was a little anxious: "I'll return the admission ticket to you." I don't remember you cheating. Go and take the exam. Stop crying! " "BuMei ignored him and burst into tears at my desk. The teacher was sweating with anxiety. He urged, "why don't we make more copies?" "The whole class is sweating like a pig.

8. One day, Pingzhi and Kuaidou had an argument. Later, the two men discussed "scissors, stone and cloth", and whoever won would listen to them and call Xinyi for notarization. Ha ha, the following is their conversation that Xinyi heard-

Hiraji: Hey, we are good brothers. It's unkind to have to decide the outcome. Forget about scissors in the future, okay?

Fight: No problem, good brother!

Their faces are pure when they speak.

Then the new one shouted "one, two, three go",

The result is—

What comes out flat is "stone"

What's coming out soon is "cloth"

9. Conan's entrance exam

After my freshman year, I called myself Conan. Because I am old enough to go to school, I have to enroll in primary school under the pressure of Xiaolan.

The teacher wanted to see if there was anything wrong with Conan's IQ and asked him.

"There are ten birds in the tree. One of them was shot. How many are left? "

Conan asked, "Is it silent pistol or some other silent gun?"

"No."

"How loud is the gunshot?"

"80- 100 decibel."

"Does that mean that your ears hurt when you shake them?"

"yes."

"Is it illegal to shoot birds in this city?"

"No offense."

"Are you sure that bird was really killed?"

"All right. I'm getting impatient, please tell me how much is left, ok? "

"OK, are there any deaf birds in the tree?"

"No."

"What's wrong with being in a cage?"

"No."

"Are there any other trees nearby? Are there any other birds in the tree? "

"No."

"Are there any disabled or hungry flightless birds?"

"No."

"Is it a bird in a pregnant belly?"

"Not really."

"Bird catcher eyes have flowers? Guaranteed ten? "

"No flowers, just ten."

I was sweating profusely and the bell rang, but he continued to ask, "Is there anyone who is stupid and not afraid of death?"

"Everyone is afraid of death."

"Will you kill two with one shot?"

"No."

"Are all birds free to move?"

"Absolutely."

"If your answer is not a lie," Conan said confidently, "if the killed bird hangs on the tree and doesn't fall, then there is only one left. If it falls, there will be none left. " The teacher fainted immediately!

10, Kim was seriously injured in the battle with the police, and his life was dying. He is being rescued in the hospital. Vodka has been caught, so he can visit the sick. A new whim, maybe he will want to confess to me, and must get my forgiveness before he dies! So Xinyi went to the hospital to see Gin. At that time, Gin was covered in pipes and could not speak. Xinyi gave him a piece of paper and a pen: "If you have anything to say to me, write it here!" " "Kim picked up a pen, wrote a few words, suddenly turned supercilious look and swallowed. Xinyi sighed and walked out of the door with a note. When he saw the vodka outside, he handed him a note: "This is his last words. Please read it first. " Vodka took the note, unfolded it and read aloud, "Get out! "You stepped on my oxygen pipe!"

1 1. Officer Mu Mu received a report that there were three strange bodies. When he arrived at the scene, he immediately burst into tears:

"New ah, excellent ah, gross profit! You are dead, how can we solve the case in the future! "

At this time, he found that all three bodies died laughing, which made him puzzled.

Officer Takagi said that he knew the cause of death and why he died with a smile.

"After the deceased Richard Moore won the lottery, he was killed by a truck crossing the street. I am naturally happy because I won the lottery.

The deceased Kudou Yū saku fell in love with his wife one day and died of a heart attack. Because I am in love, I am naturally happy.

The deceased Kudou Shinichi was climbing a tree one day and was struck by lightning. "

"Then why is he laughing?"

"He thought someone was filming him!"

12, GIN, Ai, KID are all dead, and God took it.

God asked gin: How did you die?

Kim: One day, I followed a girl home. As soon as I entered the room, I jumped at her. When she flashed, I lost my breath, and then she kicked me from upstairs. I'm not dead. I don't know who threw a refrigerator and killed me.

God: Well, how did you die?

Ai: On my way home one day, I found someone following me. As soon as I entered the room, he jumped at me. After I dodged, I kicked him down, scared.

He didn't die, so he fell into the refrigerator and died. I didn't expect to die of a heart attack.

God: What about you? Children?

Child: I went to a house to steal something, and suddenly I heard someone come in and hide in the refrigerator of that house. .......

13, someone invented a computer to test IQ. Xiaolan, Yuanyuan and Ye went to have a test.

Ye put his head into the machine, and the computer showed: "192.6". Ye was very happy.

Xiaolan put her head into the machine and the computer showed "0.3". The garden looked and smiled.

So the garden also put its head into the machine, and the computer thought for a long time and showed it: "Don't make fun of stones".

Xiaolan and the garden studied hard for this. After a year, they took another test.

Xiaolan put her head into the machine, and the computer showed "3.0", which was ten times higher than last year.

The garden put its head into the machine, and the computer thought for a long time, and finally showed: "This stone looks familiar!"! "