How to make others laugh at me

It is said that when I was born, there was a piece of auspicious cloud in the northern sky, which gradually floated to the roof of my house from far and near, and became a sentence: handsome dad cried at the top of his lungs for a month and a half after seeing me, and he didn't believe that I was a child with his chromosome inheritance after being killed. He rushed to my mother's bed several times with a kitchen knife, waving to chop me into a paste, and her mother protected me with her death.

i am not a human being ! I am god.

Later, in order to prove her innocence, the mother dragged her father to the hospital for paternity test. The doctor lifted the quilt, only looked at it and cried. He wiped his nose and said, go home. This is not your son, nobody. Humans can't give birth to such a handsome child. ......

An intern nurse walked by and saw me as a baby. She immediately found a box of red inkpad, printed my fingerprints, spread her hair out at once, and muttered to me, Here's your long hair. If I don't marry you in my life, my long hair will not decrease ...? -

Mother hurried out and trotted all the way, accidentally meeting an old lady waiting to have a baby in the obstetrics and gynecology department next door. The old lady grabbed her mother and said kindly, son, what's the hurry? What is the hard part? Don't hit the child?

My mother was upset by her, so she pulled the quilt away. As soon as the old lady saw me, she immediately followed me like crazy, tears streaming down her face, shaking her head and screaming: I was born 50 years earlier! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Mother flashed ...-When I was fifteen, I was afraid to go to school, not that I didn't go. I dare not go to kindergarten for a long time. The children in kindergarten are crazy, and my face is swollen into watermelon by the little girl's kiss. My aunts beat up the children, if nothing else, just because they were born in the same year as me, and the military and police went out to quell the violent contracture. Once, I was so bored that I sneaked out of the house at night. If I see a female animal, I'm going to run away. Who knows that after I went out, I was not chased except for a scream. I looked back carefully and they all fainted on the beach. ......

The court sued me for ruining the happiness of a family. It turned out that the wife of that family asked her husband for a divorce after seeing the photos I secretly took when I was six years old. After the court accepted the case, it sent me a summons. After receiving the summons, I expressed my willingness to appear in court, because such a life is really unbearable. However, the summons did not go back to the court, because I signed it, so I was caught by the postman halfway ... Later, the postman was sentenced to 122 years in prison. (I left the TV station to interview me, and the glass that stood against the camera fainted three times. The little girl in charge of taking notes wrote Chinese in Italian and Spanish. My face was mosaiced by the TV station when it was broadcast, and it was smashed the next day ... The United Nations allocated special funds to build a hiding place for me, located at the top of Mount Everest in the Himalayas. I like quiet, really quiet, the blue sky is close to me, and God is at your fingertips. -I am quiet, but also extremely boring. I stood at the peak and shouted: I am not handsome! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Suddenly, a calm voice came from the sky: No, you lied. God, can't you lie to me ... I'm angry, extremely angry! ! ! Ask God: Why do you make me so handsome? ! ! ! ! -The voice of God's requiem came again: What did you say? I was limp and sobbed: Why am I so handsome? -God was silent ... After a while, God spoke: You are very modest ... At that moment, I wanted to jump from above ... Suddenly a group of people rushed up the mountain from the foot of the mountain,-I was crazy! ! ! -I stood on a stone, facing the cliff, hysterical: how dare you come up! ! ! I'm gonna jump! ! The crowd stood quietly, There was an amazing silence in ..................................................................................................................................................................... Finally, only a few fainted people stayed on the mountain, and the rest jumped off the cliff. I looked down, and they laid a mat for me with their bodies, fearing that I would slip ... I was helpless ...-I was specially protected by the Queen, and women were proud to see me. Since the last Everest incident, scientists have discovered that human potential is so strong, because in that Everest incident, 10% people were terminally ill, 10% people were disabled, and 10% people were mentally retarded ... Many cancer patients (women) struggled for more than ten years before meeting me, and they became anti-cancer stars. Some disabled people (women) have lost their companionship for decades since they met me. -In desperation, the Third World War broke out. People use atomic bombs to protect their dignity. ......................................................................................................................................... ............................... When I came out, the land was desolate, full of postwar desolation and ruins ...-Suddenly, I found life on the ground! That's a cockroach! ! ! The vitality of cockroaches is beyond everyone's expectation. I picked up the cockroach with tears in my eyes and the cockroach trembled all over. I looked around and there was a cockroach at my feet! All women! ! ! On another coastline, all the male cockroaches are eyeing! ! ! ! ! No one would have expected that the fourth world war on earth actually happened among cockroaches ... Postscript: I died 10 million years ago, and later generations were born. They found my bones, restored my appearance and buried me in the North Pole. On my tombstone, there is a cloud floating all the year round, changing and changing, with only one word: handsome. ...

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