Tired! Tell a joke!

Classic joke: classic lovers "flirting" quotations 1,

The wife said to her husband, "I really don't understand. Of all the people who pursue me, which one is richer than you, but why am I obsessed with you? "

The husband said, "That's because the poor care more about women than the rich, at least more about women's figure. Follow me and you will never have to worry about your waistline. "

2、

"What if I get fat one day?"

"Then I will go directly to just visiting and return to the Tang Dynasty. Fat is beauty."

3、

"You are nine years older than me, and the age gap is too big."

"That's better. If I am no older than you, no one will provide you with mocking resources. "

4、

"You look a little too miserable."

"This is where I am superior to a handsome boy. Handsome guys will only compete with you for a good name with fashionable clothes and beautiful skin color, and I will always wear cloth clothes and be willing to be your foil and let others see me. I thought I was your driver. "

5、

Someone asked her husband, "Where did women change the most before and after marriage?"

The husband said, "Yes. Before marriage, women treat men as happy, but after marriage, they are always dissatisfied. They think that the day before marriage is as white as a fig, and they don't know that figs are sweeter than pistachios. "

6、

A friend was drinking with her husband.

"Men are cars." The friend said with emotion.

The husband replied, "A woman is a gas station."

The friend said, "But once a woman gets married, she becomes a man's toll booth."

The husband interrupted him: "She didn't become a station cleaner. She threw cold water on the man with a high-pressure water gun, even if the man was lucky."

7、

The husband said to his wife, "I used to think I was Popeye, but love is spinach." When I eat spinach, I have great strength. " Now I find that when I look away, love is just a water spinach. "

"However, spinach looks similar to spinach and tastes no worse than spinach," said the wife.

8、

"Living with you is more tiring than starting three companies." Husband complains.

"Which three companies?" The wife asked.

"It used to be a flower company, then a food delivery company, and finally an apology company."

9、

My wife often misses the time when they met, so she asked her husband, "What do you think of our acquaintance?" Husband said: "knowing you is like straying into a shopping mall that is being promoted, knowing that' buy one get one free' is a false advertisement, but you can't stand the temptation."