Best joke reading

1. Mrs. Mary was taken to court for running a red light. The judge stared at her and asked, "Mrs. Mary?" Yes, you used to be a teacher in Xicheng primary school? Yes, how do you know? The judge smiled. I am your student. Mrs Mary smiled and relaxed. The judge went on to say, I have waited for this day for more than 20 years, and now I punish you for copying 1000 times. "It was a mistake for me to run a red light. I won't do it again."

Classic joke: bad habits

I have two bad habits that bother me. The first bad habit is to sleep naked.

B: Nothing! What about the second bad habit? A: Sleepwalking.

Whenever the professor gives a lecture, in order not to make the students feel bored,

So the world will tell some jokes to make students happy.

But the girls think the professors are telling funny jokes.

I don't think so. I think professors should have the dignity of professors.

So we discussed that if the professor said it next time,

I stood up at once and walked out of the classroom. Unfortunately,

After the boy knew it, he ran to the professor and said:

Then the professor said, never mind. I'll take care of it, and then as soon as class starts,

The professor spoke again! ! He said: "I heard that there is a shortage of prostitutes in Paris recently!" ! "

When the girls heard this, they began to wink at each other, trying to say that the professor was telling colorful jokes again.

It's time to carry out their plan. Just as they stood up to walk out of the classroom,

The professor began: "hmm! These female students, don't be in such a hurry! !

The plane to Paris won't take off until tomorrow! ! "

Komatsu asked Xiaoming, "What will your parents do to you if you fail in the exam?" ? Women's singles are under 80. Men's singles are under 70. If it is "60", here is the mixed doubles!

One day, an English teacher asked a student a question in class: How are you? What do you mean? The student said, think about it, what does How mean, are means "yes" and you means you, so he said, "How are you?" The teacher was very angry and asked another student what "how old are you" meant. He said, "Why is it always you?"

6. A professor is having a class. "Primitive people will never tell you his name, because they are afraid that you will hurt him with spells.

I won't refuse your question directly, but I will avoid answering it. "

Speaking of which, I saw a student burying his head in the newspaper and asked, "What's the name of the classmate sitting behind reading the newspaper?" The student was surprised and looked up and said, "Who, you mean me?"

The professor continued to tell the other students, "Am I right?"

7. In the history class, the teacher asked, "Which two countries are Eight-Nation Alliance? Italy, America, Britain, France, Germany, Austria and so on? Come on, Xiao Ming, you say! "

Facing Xiao Ming who just woke up, Xiaohua secretly said to Xiao Ming, "The teacher asked you to sleep with her."

Xiao Ming shouted: "I ~ ~ Japan (Russia, Japan)!" " "

The teacher said happily, "Good! Ok! "

8. When I was in middle school, I was expelled from school for fighting. A girl in my class chased me to my house and said, "What shall I do if you leave?" My mother was anxious and asked me, "What's your relationship?" I was puzzled, too, and said, "Never mind? ! "I saw that girl say," If you leave, I will be the last one! " ! ! "

9 ~ One day, I was taking a course on "Fundamentals of Law". On the podium, the teacher was eloquent and gushing ~ ~ Suddenly seeing that I had been trapped all my life, the teacher was angry, so he lifted it up and criticized the student in front of the whole class: bad behavior, disrespect for the teacher and neglect of the teacher will be punished by the school rules. ......

The student shook his head helplessly and replied, "Wukong, you scared the teacher again ..."

10 The husband who came back from hunting called home at the station.

"Hello, is that Mary? Pick me up at the station! "

"How's the harvest? Dear. "

"Not bad. From now on, we don't have to buy meat for at least a month. "

"Did you kill a deer?"

"No, I have spent all my salary. Now I don't even have the ticket money to go home.

....."