Humor and eloquence: jokes are very interesting.

1. There is only one cake left at the birthday party, with the word birthday written on it. The boy generously picked up the knife and split it in two, gently saying to the girl:? I'm in charge? Day? Are you in charge? Healthy? , ok?

2. I met three female netizens online: Is the first one sweet? 56 years old; The second 20-year-old is beautiful, but mm doesn't like boys. The third is 2 1 year-old, beautiful, talented, likes boys and likes me. When we met, I told her a joke. I didn't laugh to death in one breath?

The rebels were defeated and fled to the north. The general rode coldly out of the city gate.

The lieutenant stepped forward and knelt down. General, should we chase?

The general stroked his beard and said slowly, Go after him. ?

The lieutenant didn't move, and neither did the army.

The general is stupefied, say again: Go after it! ?

The lieutenant did not move, and neither did the army.

(I don't understand, this is a homophonic joke. )

4. A female colleague likes to drink water and then lick the rim of the cup with clove uvula. One day, I took another cup and made it ecstatic.

I saw it and said: I took a photo and posted it online. ? She said:? Sure, but mosaic. "

After a while, she shouted, Who told you to mosaic the cup? ?

5. In the human body class of the Academy of Fine Arts, a girl angrily threw her pen on the ground and scolded the male model: I will grow up in a short while, and I will be small in a short while, so I won't let anyone draw!

6. A girl saved money and bought a brand-name bag and gave it to her companion excitedly: "Look at these two letters, LV! Did you see it? " The companion said, "gee, is this pinyin?" I learned it in elementary school, huh? Donkey "white" ~

7. Dude, do you know why I was scolded that day? Seeing the underlined words on the clothes on the pretty girl's chest, I couldn't help reaching out and clicking.

8. A man courted Jane Doe and played a song "Reflecting the Moon" on the erhu. Afterwards, the woman said: Erhu is not well played, but people look like blind A Bing!

9. A woman learns a driver's license and takes a road test. Get off the bus in front, it's her turn, very nervous! She got off at the right, then went around to the left and opened the car door? Then a loud cry: coach! Where is the steering wheel! The examiner looked back at her and said, did you open the back door?

10, one day, my son went to school for an exam, and father and son were on the bus together. Because the road is not very good and there are many cars, they walk very slowly.

The son was anxious and said, Dad, when we have money, we will buy three planes, one for work, one for school and one for the toilet.

Dad is sweating profusely: Is there a toilet on the plane?

1 1, Xiaohua got zero in the exam, and then said to her father with a sad face: I can't do anything.

Dad said angrily, can't you even cheat?

12, the female turtle blamed the male turtle and said, it's all your fault. Now the house price is expensive, but I can't see the monkey family buying the sixth floor, and I also bought the sixth floor with the top management. Now, let's not talk about doing things. Climbing downstairs will be dark the day after tomorrow. ?

13. Both the drone and the snail pursue the butterfly girl. Butterfly girl thought twice and finally decided to marry a snail.

The bee angrily questioned Butterfly Girl: Where is the snail better than me? It can't fly, you lack the same language, and you will definitely not be happy in the future! ?

Butterfly girl replied helplessly:? Snails can't fly I have a single-family villa. And you bees have to live in the dormitory for the rest of your life! ?

14. A youth team flew abroad to participate in the competition. During the flight, in order to kill boredom, the players actually played football in the cabin.

The captain suddenly felt that the plane was leaning, and it took a lot of effort to balance the plane, but it was still very bumpy. The captain asked the co-pilot to see what had happened.

Two minutes later, the plane returned to calm. The co-pilot is back.

The captain asked? What are they doing?

? Kick a ball. ?

? Why is it so calm?

? I told them, children, the weather is so good, let's play outside, so

Xiaoming, 15, five years old, often complains to his father.

Xiaoming:? Dad! Why is it that every time I take a shower? You don't even have to close the bathroom door?

Dad:? Because your bird hasn't grown up, you should breathe more fresh air. ?

Xiaoming:? Then why did you close the door when you took a shower yourself?

Dad:? Because dad is afraid that his bird will fly out! ?

Xiaoming:? Then why did Mommy close the door when she took a shower?

Dad:? Because mommy is afraid that birds outside will fly in! ?