Where can I find a selection of classic jokes in ancient China?

This question is not appropriate. Online and in bookstores. For example:

Joke about the burden

original text

The scholar was nearly seventy years old and suddenly gave birth to a son. Born in age, that is, named age. A little later, I gave birth to another son, who seems to be able to read and learn by name. The next year, another son was born. He smiled and said, "It's a joke to have a baby at such a big age." Because of the name "joke". When they were old and had nothing to do, they all ordered to go to the mountains to collect firewood and go home. The husband asked, "Who has more firewood for the third son?" The wife said, "As you get older, you have no knowledge at all, but you have the burden of jokes."

translate

There is a scholar who is nearly seventy years old. His wife suddenly gave birth to a son. She named him "Age" because she was old enough to have a son. Before long, another son was born. He looks like a scholar, so he named him "Xue Xue". In the third year, another son was born. The scholar smiled and said, "It's a joke to have a son at such a big age." So he named it "Joke". The three sons had nothing to do when they grew up, so the scholar asked them to go into the mountains to get firewood. When they came back, the husband asked his wife, "Which of the three people has more firewood?" The wife said, "When I am old, I have no knowledge at all, but jokes are a burden."

avoid

original text

There is a snob who will stay away every time he comes out. The fellow traveler asked him why, and replied, "Give up my relatives." So many times, colleagues are tired. Even if I meet a beggar, I will try to avoid him and say, "Give up my relatives." Q: "Why are there such relatives?" He said, "But all the good ones are recognized by you."

translate

There was a vain man who met a passing dignitary when he went out and avoided it. People in the same trade asked him why he did this, and he said, "That's my relative." This has happened many times, and every time he does this, people in the same industry feel very annoyed. Later, on the road, I suddenly met a beggar, and the people in the same trade also learned to hide from him and said, "That beggar is my relative." The vain man asked, "Why do you have such poor relatives?" People in the same trade said, "Because all the good things are recognized by you."

Eat olives

original text

Villagers went to the city to drink, and there were olives on the banquet. The villagers took the spit, which was astringent and tasteless, because they asked the people at the table, "What is this?" The deskmate scorned them with their village spirit: "vulgar." In the name of "vulgarity", the villagers kept it in mind and said, "Today, if you taste the strange things in the city, it is called" vulgarity "." Everyone didn't believe it, but the man opened his mouth and gasped, "You don't believe it, but now you are full of swearing."

translate

A farmer went to town to eat, and there were olives on the table. The farmer took it to his mouth, which was astringent and not delicious, and asked the person at the same table, "What is this?" Everyone at the same table thought he was vulgar and said contemptuously, "vulgar." The farmer thinks "vulgarity" is an olive name, so he keeps it in mind. When he got home, he said to people, "I ate a strange fruit in the city today, called' vulgar'." Everyone didn't believe it. The farmer gasped with an open mouth and said, "You don't believe it. Now my mouth is full of swearing. "

Laugh at comedians

original text

A guest stayed for lunch, but his guest spit out a bowl without adding any rice. The guest wanted to let the host know, but pretended to say, "So-and-so has a house to sell." Therefore, he said to his master, "The rafters are so big." The host saw that there was no rice in the bowl and asked the boy to add it. Because he asked the guest, "Does he want geometry?" The guest said, "Since we have food to eat, we won't sell it."

translate

A man left a guest for lunch. The guest has finished a bowl, and no one has given him more rice. The guest wants to let the host know, so he pretends to say, "So-and-so has a house to sell." Then he deliberately pointed the bowl mouth at the owner and said, "The rafters are as thick as the bowl mouth." The host saw that there was no rice in the bowl, so he quickly called the servant to add rice to him. Immediately ask the guest, "How much does he sell?" The guest replied, "Since we have food to eat, we won't sell it."

fabricate lies

original text

Some people are used to telling lies. Every generation of his servants is round. One day, he said to a man, "My well was blown to the house next door by the strong wind yesterday." People think that there has been nothing since ancient times. The servant Yuan said, "It's true. My well is near the neighbor's fence. Last night, it was windy. I saw the fence scrape to the well and went to my neighbor's house like a well. " One day, he said to people, "Someone shot down a wild goose and put a bowl of noodle soup on his head." The public was surprised. The servant Yuan said, "So it is. My master was eating noodle soup in the yard when a wild goose fell and its head fell into the bowl. Isn't it a wild goose with noodle soup? " One day. He also said to others, "the cold family has a warm weather account, which covers the world tightly without gaps." The servant frowned and said, "Master, how can I hide this lie?"

translate

There is a man who is used to telling lies, and his servants always cover up his lies for him. One day, he said to a man, "Yesterday, a well in my house was blown to the house next door by the strong wind." Everyone thinks that such a thing has never happened since ancient times. His servant lied for him and said, "My well is really close to the neighbor's fence. The wind was very strong last night, and the fence was blown to the side of the well, just like the well was blown to the neighbor's house. " One day, he said to people, "Someone shot down a wild goose and put a bowl of noodle soup on his head." Everyone was surprised and didn't believe what he said. His servant lied for him again, saying, "It happened. My master is eating noodle soup in the yard. Suddenly, a wild goose fell and its head fell into the bowl. Isn't it covered with noodle soup? " Another day, he said to others: "The cold family has a top temperature account, which covers the world tightly without any gap." Hearing this, the servant frowned awkwardly and said, "The master has gone too far. How can I tell such a big lie to cover it up? "

Lishui xuetai

original text

The scholar's servant peed on the doll for a long time and said in horror, "Here comes the learning platform." The doll peed immediately. The scholar asked him why, and replied, "I think you scholars are scared to pee when they get off the stage." The scholar sighed: "I didn't expect this doll to inherit his father's legacy and be elegant;" I didn't expect this school to be so small that it can pass two stools. "

translate

The servant of the scholar's family peed with the doll in his arms, but the child didn't pee for a long time. The servant startled him and said, "Here comes the learning platform." The doll peed immediately. The scholar asked him why, and replied, "I saw your scholar come to the learning platform, and he was scared to pee, so I scared him like this." The scholar sighed and said, "I didn't expect this doll to inherit his father's wishes and continue studying;" What is even more unexpected is that this learning platform is good at diuresis and urination. "

Classical Chinese is a processed written language based on ancient Chinese. The earliest written language based on spoken language may have been processed. Classical Chinese is an article composed of written language in ancient China, mainly including written language based on spoken language in pre-Qin period.

During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, no articles were invented to record characters, but bamboo slips, silks and other things were used to record characters, and silks were expensive, bamboo slips were huge and the number of words recorded was limited. In order to record more things on a roll of bamboo slips, unimportant words were deleted.

Later, when "paper" was used on a large scale, the habit of using "official documents" among the ruling classes had been finalized, and the ability to use "classical Chinese" had evolved into a symbol of reading and literacy.

Classical Chinese comes from vernacular Chinese, characterized by writing based on words, paying attention to the use of allusions, parallel prose, and neat melody, including strategies, poems, words, songs, stereotyped writing, parallel prose and other styles. The classical Chinese in modern books are generally marked with punctuation marks in order to facilitate reading and understanding.