Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Who can tell a cold joke? ...
Who can tell a cold joke? ...
Version 2: It is said that there is a penguin whose home is far from the polar bear's home. It will take 20 years to get there on foot. One day, the penguin stayed at home and was bored. He was going to play with polar bears, so he went out, but on the way, he found that he forgot to lock the door. It's been 10 years, but the door still has to be locked, so the penguin went home to lock it. After locking the door, the penguin set out again to look for the polar bear, which means it took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's home ... Then the penguin knocked on the door and said, "Polar bear, polar bear, penguin wants to play with you!" " "As a result, after the polar bear opened the door, guess what he said ..." Let's go to your house to play ~ "
Version 3: It is said that there is a penguin whose home is far from the polar bear's home. It will take 20 years to get there on foot. One day, the penguin was particularly bored at home and wanted to find a polar bear to play with. He went out with him, but on the way, he found that he forgot to turn off the refrigerator at home. It's been 10 years, but the refrigerator is about to close, so the penguin went home and closed the refrigerator. After turning off the refrigerator, the penguin set out to look for the polar bear again, which means it took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's home ... Then the penguin knocked on the door and said, "Polar bear, polar bear, penguin wants to play with you!" " As a result, the polar bear shouted to the outside without even opening the door this time: "I don't want to play! " "
Version 4: It is said that there is a penguin whose home is far from the polar bear's home. It will take 20 years to get there on foot. One day, the penguin was particularly bored at home and wanted to find a polar bear to play with. He went out with him, but on the way, he found that he forgot to turn off the refrigerator at home. It's been 10 years, but the refrigerator is about to close, so the penguin went home and closed the refrigerator. After turning off the refrigerator, the penguin set out to look for the polar bear again, which means it took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's home ... Then the penguin knocked on the door and said, "Polar bear, polar bear, penguin wants to play with you!" " "As a result, the polar bear is not here. The neighbor seal told him that the polar bear just came home yesterday and said that he forgot to turn off the refrigerator. Today, he has set off to play with penguins.
1 The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."
"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.
The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"
Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"
"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.
On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"
The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "
The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "
There is a hide-and-seek club, and the person in charge hasn't been found yet.
3 an egg ran to Shandong and became a Lu (halogen) egg;
Policeman: "Say, what's your name?"
Prisoner: "My name is Jackie Chan."
Policeman: "Why don't you call Zhen Chen? Correct your attitude ~ tell me your name ~? "
Prisoner: "My name is Zhen Chen."
Q: When do people have two mouths?
A: It's time for two people, hehe.
Q: Two people fell into the trap. The dead call the dead, what is the name of the living?
A: Call for help, haha.
Q: A white horse is called a white horse, a dark horse is called a dark horse, and a black and white horse is called a zebra. What is a black and white red horse?
A: It's a shy zebra, hehe.
Q: Why do people go to bed to sleep?
A: Because the bed won't walk by itself!
Q: The last thing you want to do at a barbecue.
I'll be with you, cook the meat.
Q: Boss, isn't this called beef noodles? Why is there no beef? !
They call it the old woman's cake. Why not get a wife if you buy it? !
Q: What animal is the easiest to fall down in the world?
A: Fox! Because foxes are cunning?
Q: One day, it took a bird 1 hour to fly from Kaohsiung to Taipei. But it took 2 hours to get back! Why?
Because it is raining! So cover the rain with one hand and let it fly with the other.
When do dogs get smaller and smaller?
When the dog ran away.
Ming Dow Jr.: "Kang, let me ask you something." A shark ate a mung bean. What did it become? 」
Kang said, "I don't know. What is the answer? 」
Xiao Ming said, "Hey! Hey! The answer is "green bean paste (mung bean shark)", you are stupid! 」
The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution.
Make the lunch box blue.
Q: What's the last thing you want to happen when popcorn pops?
Corn will play hardball with you
Q: A rabbit races with a fast tortoise. Guess who won?
A: Rabbit ~ ~
Q: Wrong ~! It's a turtle. As mentioned earlier, it's a fast turtle. Run fast ~ ~
Q: The rabbit doesn't want to compete with a turtle wearing sunglasses. Who will win this time?
A: Mm-hmm. Tuziba
Q: Wrong ~ ~! The tortoise took off her sunglasses, too! It's the fastest turtle again.
Judge: Why did you throw two glasses at the plaintiff?
Defendant: Because the first shot missed him, sir.
Xiaoyu: My goldfish died again yesterday (depressed ...)
Koharu: What's the big deal? The fish in my fish tank are dying every day, changing every day!
Xiaoyu: Why! ! ?
Koharu: My family has opened a restaurant!
Light rain: ...
A bean fell. It's discouraging and frustrating. This bean is me. What can encourage it to stand up?
The answer is you!
Because there is something called "pigs encourage beans".
One day mung beans committed suicide, jumped down from the fifth floor, shed a lot of blood and became red beans; It has been squeezed dry and turned into soybeans; The wound was scarred and finally turned into black beans.
One person has a bad stomach. One day, he came to the stomach hospital and said to the doctor:
"I pull everything, eat watermelon and pull watermelon, eat cucumber and pull cucumber!"
The doctor wanted to think, said to him:
"I think you are going to eat shit!"
On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl, "Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?"
The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will flash!" "
Q: What kind of chicken runs fast in the world? What chicken is slow?
A: Chicken nuggets (quick)
Nicole Kidman (slow)
There is a polar bear playing with a penguin.
Penguins pluck their hair one by one. After pulling it out, they said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!"
Hearing this, the polar bear also pulled out his own hair one by one.
Turn to the penguin and say,
"It's cold!"
Two bananas are competing for endurance, running and running. ...
The dominant banana was peeled off and thrown on the runway in a sweaty run, and the banana behind it slipped.
There is a loaf of bread. I was hungry when I walked, so I ate by myself.
It is said that a polar bear has to wear sunglasses to see because the snow is too dazzling.
But he couldn't find sunglasses, so he crawled around on the ground with his eyes closed, looking, climbing and playing.
Before I found sunglasses, my hands and feet were dirty. I put on my sunglasses and looked in the mirror before I found out: Oh, I'm a panda.
A classic joke of Wu Zongxian ~ ~
"In this world, I hate two kinds of people ~ one is a person with racial discrimination ~
The other one is black. "
A pair of corn fell in love.
So they decided to get married.
Wedding anniversary
A corn can't find another corn.
This corn asks the popcorn next to it: Have you seen our corn?
Popcorn: Honey, I'm wearing a wedding dress.
Next, two pieces of steamed bread fell in love.
So they decided to get married.
Wedding anniversary
A steamed bun can't find another steamed bun.
The steamed bread asked the flower roll next to it: Have you seen our steamed bread?
Hua Juan: Honey, I'm wearing a vegetable head.
another
Child: Mom, mom, why do you always teach me to go high and water flows low?
Mom: because ... because people are monkeys.
Q: What do African cannibals eat?
A: people!
Q: Then one day, the chief fell ill and the doctor told him to be a vegetarian. What did he eat?
A: Eat vegetables! ~~
American: Have you ever seen a cup made of wood?
China: No!
American: Then why is the Chinese character "cup" beside the wooden character?
China people: Isn't there a word "no" next to the word "cup"? In other words, it is not made of wood.
The science teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death? No one answered.
The teacher asked again: Does nobody know?
At this time, a classmate stood up and said, that's because you are calm and naturally cool.
What animal jumps higher than a tree?
A: All animals. Because trees can't jump.
There is a boy in the class who gets good grades, but he is not attentive in class.
One day in physics class, the physics teacher couldn't bear it anymore and told the man to stand up.
Say to the man: Why do you have so many questions?
I saw the man slowly answer: I am hairy and not sick! !
Excuse me: Who gave you the water of forgetfulness?
Answer: Aha ~ ~ ~
Reason: "Aha, give me a cup of forgetful water ~ ~ ~"
Small white+small white =?
White rabbits (two) ~!
Marketer: Kid, do you have any dogs, kittens, rabbits or birds at home?
Child: No, my mother gave birth to me!
Q: What animal is the best?
A: Pigs, because pigs (pearls) are experts.
Q: What animal sticks to the wall most easily?
A: Sea (newspaper) leopard
Q: What happens when a fat man falls from 12 floor?
fat person
Q: Who will help you eat when you are full?
A: Feilong, because Feilong is added in units of (days).
Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and then died. How did he die?
A: He suffocated because there was no telephone pole to pee in the desert.
Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole, but it was still suffocated. Why?
A: There is a sign on the dotted pole, which says "No peeing here".
Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. Nothing stuck to it, but it was stuffy. Why?
A: Many puppies are waiting in line.
Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. There is nothing posted on it, and there is a queue. The result is still suffocating. Why?
A: Because there are two beautiful dogs MM behind him, he is very embarrassed.
The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."
"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.
The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"
Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"
"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.
On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"
The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "
The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "
Q: When do people have two mouths?
A: It's time for two people, hehe.
Q: Two people fell into the trap. The dead call the dead, what is the name of the living?
A: Call for help, haha.
Q: A white horse is called a white horse, a dark horse is called a dark horse, and a black and white horse is called a zebra. What is a black and white red horse?
A: It's a shy zebra, hehe.
Q: Why do people go to bed to sleep?
A: Because the bed won't walk by itself!
Q: The last thing you want to do at a barbecue.
I'll be with you, cook the meat.
Q: Boss, isn't this called beef noodles? Why is there no beef? !
They call it the old woman's cake. Why not get a wife if you buy it? !
Q: What animal is the easiest to fall down in the world?
A: Fox! Because foxes are cunning?
Q: One day, it took a bird 1 hour to fly from Kaohsiung to Taipei. But it took 2 hours to get back! Why?
Because it is raining! So cover the rain with one hand and let it fly with the other.
When do dogs get smaller and smaller?
When the dog ran away.
Ming Dow Jr.: "Kang, let me ask you something." A shark ate a mung bean. What did it become? 」
Kang said, "I don't know. What is the answer? 」
Xiao Ming said, "Hey! Hey! The answer is "green bean paste (mung bean shark)", you are stupid! 」
The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution.
Make the lunch box blue.
Q: What's the last thing you want to happen when popcorn pops?
Corn will play hardball with you
Q: A rabbit races with a fast tortoise. Guess who won?
A: Rabbit ~ ~
Q: Wrong ~! It's a turtle. As mentioned earlier, it's a fast turtle. Run fast ~ ~
Q: The rabbit doesn't want to compete with a turtle wearing sunglasses. Who will win this time?
A: Mm-hmm. Tuziba
Q: Wrong ~ ~! The tortoise took off her sunglasses, too! It's the fastest turtle again.
Judge: Why did you throw two glasses at the plaintiff?
Defendant: Because the first shot missed him, sir.
Xiaoyu: My goldfish died again yesterday (depressed ...)
Koharu: What's the big deal? The fish in my fish tank are dying every day, changing every day!
Xiaoyu: Why! ! ?
Koharu: My family has opened a restaurant!
Light rain: ...
A bean fell. It's discouraging and frustrating. This bean is me. What can encourage it to stand up?
The answer is you!
Because there is something called "pigs encourage beans".
One day mung beans committed suicide, jumped down from the fifth floor, shed a lot of blood and became red beans; It has been squeezed dry and turned into soybeans; The wound was scarred and finally turned into black beans.
One person has a bad stomach. One day, he came to the stomach hospital and said to the doctor:
"I pull everything, eat watermelon and pull watermelon, eat cucumber and pull cucumber!"
The doctor wanted to think, said to him:
"I think you are going to eat shit!"
On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl, "Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?"
The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will flash!" "
Q: What kind of chicken runs fast in the world? What chicken is slow?
A: Chicken nuggets (quick)
Nicole Kidman (slow)
There is a polar bear playing with a penguin.
Penguins pluck their hair one by one. After pulling it out, they said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!"
Hearing this, the polar bear also pulled out his own hair one by one.
Turn to the penguin and say,
"It's cold!"
Two bananas are competing for endurance, running and running. ...
The dominant banana was peeled off and thrown on the runway in a sweaty run, and the banana behind it slipped.
There is a loaf of bread. I was hungry when I walked, so I ate by myself.
It is said that a polar bear has to wear sunglasses to see because the snow is too dazzling.
But he couldn't find sunglasses, so he crawled around on the ground with his eyes closed, looking, climbing and playing.
Before I found sunglasses, my hands and feet were dirty. I put on my sunglasses and looked in the mirror before I found out: Oh, I'm a panda.
A classic joke of Wu Zongxian ~ ~
"In this world, I hate two kinds of people ~ one is a person with racial discrimination ~
The other one is black. "
A pair of corn fell in love.
So they decided to get married.
Wedding anniversary
A corn can't find another corn.
This corn asks the popcorn next to it: Have you seen our corn?
Popcorn: Honey, I'm wearing a wedding dress.
Next, two pieces of steamed bread fell in love.
So they decided to get married.
Wedding anniversary
A steamed bun can't find another steamed bun.
The steamed bread asked the flower roll next to it: Have you seen our steamed bread?
Hua Juan: Honey, I'm wearing a vegetable head.
another
Child: Mom, mom, why do you always teach me to go high and water flows low?
Mom: because ... because people are monkeys.
Q: What do African cannibals eat?
A: people!
Q: Then one day, the chief fell ill and the doctor told him to be a vegetarian. What did he eat?
A: Eat vegetables! ~~
American: Have you ever seen a cup made of wood?
China: No!
American: Then why is the Chinese character "cup" beside the wooden character?
China people: Isn't there a word "no" next to the word "cup"? In other words, it is not made of wood.
The science teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death? No one answered.
The teacher asked again: Does nobody know?
At this time, a classmate stood up and said, that's because you are calm and naturally cool.
What animal jumps higher than a tree?
A: All animals. Because trees can't jump.
There is a boy in the class who gets good grades, but he is not attentive in class.
One day in physics class, the physics teacher couldn't bear it anymore and told the man to stand up.
Say to the man: Why do you have so many questions?
I saw the man slowly answer: I am hairy and not sick! !
Excuse me: Who gave you the water of forgetfulness?
Answer: Aha ~ ~ ~
Reason: "Aha, give me a cup of forgetful water ~ ~ ~"
Small white+small white =?
White rabbits (two) ~!
Marketer: Kid, do you have any dogs, kittens, rabbits or birds at home?
Child: No, my mother gave birth to me!
Q: What animal is the best?
A: Pigs, because pigs (pearls) are experts.
Q: What animal sticks to the wall most easily?
A: Sea (newspaper) leopard
Q: What happens when a fat man falls from 12 floor?
fat person
Q: Who will help you eat when you are full?
A: Feilong, because Feilong is added in units of (days).
Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and then died. How did he die?
A: He suffocated because there was no telephone pole to pee in the desert.
Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole, but it was still suffocated. Why?
A: There is a sign on the dotted pole, which says "No peeing here".
Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. Nothing stuck to it, but it was stuffy. Why?
A: Many puppies are waiting in line.
Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. There is nothing posted on it, and there is a queue. The result is still suffocating. Why?
A: Because there are two beautiful dogs MM behind him, he is very embarrassed.
The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."
"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.
The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"
Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"
"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.
On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"
The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "
The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "
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