Super cold joke daquan

1. There is a little wolf. Oh, he was born a vegetarian instead of meat. His parents are very worried. As a result, my parents were very pleased to see the little wolf chasing the rabbit one day. Then the little wolf grabbed the rabbit and said, give me the carrot! ……

Divers have a high degree of difficulty. He rolled over for a week, then somersaulted for a week and a half, and then somersaulted for a month.

There is a man climbing a rock. When he was about to climb to the top of the mountain, a wolf tried to burn the rope with a burning candle. The man said a word and the wolf blew out the candle. The man said, Happy England!

4. Once upon a time, there was a village by the sea. The villagers made a living by fishing. . .

So many years have passed ~ ~ ~

Suddenly one day, a strange fish came to the sea. The villagers who specialize in fishing at sea have already eaten several people. . . This strange fish has six eyes and can fly, so the villagers call it "six-eyed flying fish"

Seeing the six-eyed flying fish killing people unscrupulously, and no one can cure them, the villagers are very worried. What should we do at this rate ~ ~ ~

At this moment, a young man came to the village. His name is very special. Love says he can kill the six-eyed flying fish. . .

The villagers are very disdainful. . But the next day, love really came back with the body of the strange fish. . .

The villagers were shocked and asked Ai, "How did you do it?"

Love said, "Love really needs courage to face the flying fish with six eyes."

5. Once upon a time, there was a hide-and-seek club whose president had not been found …

6. A rabbit is fishing in the pond, but he hasn't caught it for a long time. .....

The next day, the little rabbit went fishing in the pond again, but he still didn't catch a fish all day. ......

On the third day, the little rabbit insisted on fishing in the pond, but still found nothing. .......

The fourth day, the rabbit went fishing in the pond. A fish jumped out of the water and growled at the rabbit, "If you use carrots as bait again, I will kill you!" " "

Seven ... After half a day's homework, I turned on the radio conveniently, and a gentle voice came out: "... if the skin color pays off and the fluff on my face is tender and soft, it means that it is very healthy ..."

When I heard this, I couldn't help touching my face, looking in the mirror and smiling again. It looked healthy and lovely.

At this moment, I heard the announcer say, "All right, listeners, this time our lecture on pig raising is here ..."

8. In a primary school, two students are quarreling. A said, "You ... you call again, and I can call someone!" "

B said, "You ... you fight! I don't believe this ... "

Then A really went to make a phone call, and when he came back, he put a malicious sentence: "You will know how to die in 30 minutes!" "

B was too nervous at this time, but there was nothing he could do. After 30 minutes, the school broadcast: "A classmate of B, you have a visitor, please go to the academic affairs office." Although I'm scared, I think I'm in the academic affairs office and I should be fine. So he went to the academic affairs office, and a blond boy came up and said, "Are you B?"

B: "I'm ..."

"Sorry for waiting, this is 10 Hawaiian pizza with chicken, 5300 yuan."

9. A German, a Frenchman and a Japanese are going to work in the mine.

The boss is American. He said to the Germans: You have a good physique and you are in charge of coolies.

Say to the French: You said you were an engineer and you were in charge of the mining plan.

He said to the Japanese: You are very thin. You are in charge of supply.

Then every other week, they start to work.

A few days later, the Germans and the French found that the Japanese had disappeared. After searching for a long time, they decided to go back to work first.

When the Germans started, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted, "Surprise!" "(surprise)

10. Rene Liu's courtship to Jay Chou was rejected, and Rene Liu asked Jay Chou why. Jay Chou said, milk tea, I like music and beautiful women.

1 1.- Hello, please call a car. I am at the intersection of XX, wearing a short black skirt. ...

-Okay, where to?

-Uh ... to the knee. ...

12. A butterfly has a broken wing, but it is still flying. Why?

Because it is strong-willed

13. A person was transfused in the hospital, and when he lost, he began to laugh wildly.

Others asked him what he was laughing at.

He said, "I smiled a little." . . "

14. A little girl called the radio station and ordered a song for her mother.

Moderator: Why do you want to order songs for mom and dad?

Little girl: Mom works hard every day and can't have a good rest on Sundays. She needs to find me various exercise books.

The host was very moved and said that she was very sensible and a good boy of her mother.

So I asked what song I wanted.

Little girl: Why do women have to embarrass women?

15. Party A, Party B and Party C went out together, and Party A caught a cold. ...

Everyone sleeps in a bed at night, and A sleeps in the middle.

In the middle of the night ... A sniffles, and B and C are covered with A crystals.

Let us know next time ...

Half an hour later.

A: Attention. ...

B, C, Wen Wen quickly got into the quilt and made sure there was no contact with the outside world …

Then a fart.

16. A prince was cursed and could only say one sentence a year, but he liked a princess very much, so you were silent for five years. When you have saved enough, you come to the princess and say, "Please marry me!"

The princess said in surprise, "What?"

17. After retiring, a programmer decided to study calligraphy, bought excellent lake pens, rice paper and ink, dipped them in thick ink, and wrote on the paper in one go: Hello, world.

18. Once upon a time, there were two trash cans. They ran and ran for a long time. Then a trash can stopped and said, we are trash cans. Why are we running?

19. Xiaoming did something wrong. His mother told him to kneel in front of the Guanyin statue and confess, saying, If Guanyin forgives you, you can eat.

Five minutes later, Xiao Ming was sitting at the dinner table. His mother asked strangely, didn't I say that Guanyin forgave you before you could eat?

Xiao Ming said: Yes, I knelt there and said that Sister Guanyin was wrong. I want to eat. Then Sister Guanyin told me with her right hand, OK.

20. A woman bought breakfast with fake money. . .

The vendor was annoyed: "Elder sister, even if you give a fake, it is at least a seal. This one of you is actually a painting!" "

Take ten thousand steps back and forget about the painting. You can draw a set of ten or five, or you can draw a set of seven!

Let's make it seven dollars for seven dollars. At least draw a color. Actually, we use pencils!

Forget it, black and white is good, but you can't draw with toilet paper! The feel is too bad

Even toilet paper, cut the edge with scissors. This paper was torn by hand, and the raw edges are too exaggerated.

Ok, I'll put up with the burr, but you can also tear a rectangle. This triangle is too hard to say.