Looking for some funny life drama (3 to 5 people) scripts

"Did you steal food today?" 》Sketch script writer: Xiaoyu Location: Vegetable field

Characters: A B C D E

Props: toy dog, cabbage, radish

A appears

< p>A: Hello everyone! Can you tell me what this year has been like? This trip is getting more and more inconvenient! Driving a car, the gas went up; walking, it got robbed; taking a bus, it caught on fire; taking the subway, it got rear-ended; taking a train, it got derailed; taking a plane, it crashed into the sea... It made everyone unhappy. You dare to go out, what should you do? Stay at home and grow vegetables! Planting vegetables can not only gain abundant wealth, but also make up for spiritual loneliness! It can be said to be a good harvest both materially and spiritually, why not do it! To use a popular saying: What my sister grows is not vegetables, but loneliness! Look at the time. It’s getting late. It’s almost time to go to the fields. There are more vegetables now and there are more people stealing vegetables. In order to prevent vegetable thieves, I also raised a Makita dog. I want to let Those restless and well-intentioned thieves died... When they saw the dog lying on the ground, they pounced on Wangcai... Wangcai... What's wrong with you? Wangcai, you can't die, Wangcai, you have been with me for so many days, you have been affectionate and sincere to me, but now I have not even given you a full meal, I am sorry for you, Wangcai! Wipe away your tears, it must be some vegetable thief who has a grudge and deliberately poisoned you! I want to find out who did it and then cut him into pieces! I hugged the dog and left...

Hee-swish-swish music started playing, and B appeared

B: "1234, eh, take it, take it, eh, have fun! Yeah! Ah, steal, steal, oh, it hurts! Please take mine and bring it back to me. If you eat mine, spit it out. There is a record in QQ Farm. It’s best not to cheat on me! Make up for it and hand it over to me if you steal my food. As long as you have stolen my food, it will be recorded! Oh~~~~~~ Hee, swish, swish, swish..." I stayed in the field for a whole day yesterday afternoon. One afternoon, just when my radishes were about to be ripe, I suddenly got diarrhea! I couldn't hold it in anymore, so I went to relieve myself. When I came back, I saw that all the radishes in the field had been washed! Damn it~~~~ I saw that my tears at that time were like the surging river water, and like the Yellow River flooding out of control! Huh, as the saying goes, I won't steal from others unless they steal from me. If others steal from me, I will steal from others! Farmers who don’t want to steal food are not good farmers! Tonight I will steal back all the vegetables I lost yesterday!

Walked to the vegetable patch

B: I thought that the third update in the middle of the night was a good time to steal vegetables. After walking around in a big circle, it turned out that only this patch of land was about to be ripe! Alas, farmers nowadays have really become smarter. Ever since they discovered that the crime rate of stealing vegetables has increased sharply in the middle of the night, in order to reduce losses and prevent being stolen, they have calculated the time before planting. This conscience is not generally bad, it is quite bad! I looked at the time and saw that it would be ready in 10 minutes, so I had to wait a moment! Squatting to the edge of the field to wait for the vegetables to ripe

The percussion music sounded and C appeared

C: The villain lives in the south of Chengdu. His family has neither a house nor a field, and his life is extremely miserable! Ever since I got a wife, my life has become even more miserable! She thought my family was poor and had no money. I tried to reason with her, but she punched me! In desperation, I had no choice but to steal vegetables to make money. I met a guard dog again, he was cruel and merciless, and he bit me a hundred times, a hundred times! I will never forget this hatred! ! ! snort!

This is the place. When I came to steal the vegetables yesterday, I didn’t get the food and was bitten by their dog, which cost me 50 yuan.

After I returned home, I was beaten hard by my wife again, and she even knelt on the motherboard all night! In order to take revenge, I later secretly gave that stupid dog the most bizarre poison in the world - "Death in a Day"! He is probably dead now! Haha, if I don’t steal from him today and ruin everything, I swear not to be a thief!

I looked around and found that there was no dog

C: Where is the dog? It seems to have really died! Now I feel at ease! hey-hey! He laughed twice and looked at the watch. It will be cooked in 3 minutes. Then you can... While rubbing his hands and smiling evilly, he walked to the edge of the field, squatted down and waited, and saw B: Hey, buddy, are you stealing food?

B: Wow, brother, do you think you are a panda hero just because you put on this makeup? Can you show some professionalism? Look, the dark circles under his eyes are turning purple, and it looks like there are two pieces of rice cakes on his head. It costs a lot of money to go out and make a living! We food thieves also need to pay attention to our image! Image, do you understand? It’s just packaging! If you don't dress yourself up like a good citizen, you can't disguise yourself as a "Panda Hero"!

C: Oops, sorry, I will definitely pay attention next time!

B: Just say it while shaking hands. Next time you go out to steal food, you must dress more professionally. Don’t lose our image as food thieves!

C: Well, okay!

B: Come on, let me tell you how to package your own image! The two squatted down together, gesticulating beside them, talking about packaging

D and E came on the scene

E: "Only you can accompany me to steal food, only you can protect me Get away, only you can protect me, so that the evil dog can never bite me, it’s only you...oh, oh, oh, only..."

E punched me

D: "On your mother's head! Are you done yet? I've already told you not to follow me, but you're still there! I don't care if I can't bear it. If you do it again, I'll stab you with a knife." Damn you!”

E: You are the only one who can steal food with me! Because only you run slower than me every time, so the dog will only bite you and not me!

D: You are so good at your calculations... I found a piece of land in the vegetable patch! Go check it out!

D and E approach the vegetable patch

E: Wow, it will be done in one and a half minutes!

D: Stop being so nagging, get ready to steal the food! We are going to return home with a full load today! Ha ha!

B and C looked at them eagerly!

E: Oh, it turns out there are two people who are of the same mind! Why do you look so solemn? What's there to be unhappy about? Say it and make everyone happy!

B: Two more dish-stealers came, I guess this dish is not enough!

C: Then why not wipe their throats first!

D: Don’t blame me for being too frank! Just with these rotten sweet potatoes and rotten bird eggs, it would be too childish for you to want to take my life! ! ! ! Cynical

B and C were about to go up and beat him, but E pulled them away

E: Wait, wait, we want to steal food, it’s just an idea, not yet If it becomes a fact and you have no evidence, why are we guilty? Why don't you wait until after we steal the food and you have proof, then it won't be too late to convict us!

B: That’s right, then leave some room to check!

D: Stop arguing, the food is almost ready!

Look at the table all

B, C, D, E: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0! The vegetables are ripe, the vegetables are ripe, it’s time to steal the vegetables!

Each of us immersed ourselves in stealing vegetables, and E picked up a big radish

E: Wow, I really made a profit for such a crystal clear, unparalleled big radish!

D comes up to grab it

E: Do you want it? If you want it, just talk. How will I know you want it if you don't tell me? Although you look at me sincerely, you still have to tell me what you want.

Do you really want it? Then take it! You don't really want it, do you? Do you really want it?

I punched him, grabbed the food, and E was knocked unconscious

D: My mother-in-law and mother-in-law have nothing to do all day long, and I won’t beat you until your face is full of peach blossoms. , you don’t know why the flowers are so red!

B, C: The world is peaceful! high! Give thumbs up and praise

Continue to steal food

B: Look, beauty! Pointing in the distance

C, D: Where~where~ kept looking around, B buried his head in grabbing the food

C, D came back to their senses

C, D: That guy is cheating on me! Muttering to himself, he continued to steal food

D: Look, the dog is coming!

B and C looked around, while D buried his head in grabbing the food

B, C: Where? Where? !

B and C come to their senses

B and D: That guy is cheating on me! Muttering to himself, he continued to steal vegetables

A appeared, E woke up, sat up and found A, exclaiming

E: Look, the farmer is here!

B, D: Those who don’t take it seriously are the rest of us! Get something fresh instead! Continue to steal food

A: Okay, you food thieves, did you form a group to steal food today?

B, C, D, E: No, run quickly, pick up the food and run away!

A: How well did you run away? Stop! Put down the food for me... A chased him out, and then made a collective exit

Xiao Dan: Isn't that right? It has been more than ten years since I graduated from college. It is difficult to meet my classmates. Some are rich and some are not. The poor do not seek wealth, and the rich have nothing to say to the poor. The emotions of classmates cannot be wasted, so we are holding a class reunion today just to exchange emotions. We don’t care whether we are drunk or not, haha. (Clean up the house)

Da Zamian: Xiao Dan, why are you still busy? Come cook quickly, the old classmates are coming soon. Hey, I have to tell you a few words: It's not too late today. Remember that Zhao Weifeng is the focus of today's gathering. He is now the manager of Xin's Enterprise, and he is 100% rich. If we make him happy today, then we will hold on to that golden rice bowl, hahahaha!

Xiao Dan: Why are you so greedy for money? Do classmates also have to discuss money among themselves?

Da Zamian: Xiao Dan, why are you so ignorant? We are classmates, classmates, we are also students but we study in different ways. If he didn't study hard back then, he can't be angry with us even if he is poor. If he studied hard back then, he has money and it proves that he worked hard. You're like Xin Jingshui back then. You were quite capable. You participated in many activities, but you just didn't study hard. I heard you lost your job after graduation. Now you're farming at home. Why do you think this is necessary?

Xiao Dan: After all, Xin Jingshui is also a classmate. You can’t favor one over the other.

Da Zamian: Ah, yes, you once had a relationship with Xin Jingshui. No wonder you keep speaking for him.

Don't have sex in front of me, don't blame me for turning against him!

Xiao Dan: You! snort! (Exit angrily) (Da Zamian sits down and reads the newspaper)

Little Shitou: (answers the phone) Outside! I'm Zhao Weifeng. Oh, Mr. Xin, don't worry about coming to Da Zamian's house for a class reunion. I will definitely handle this matter clearly and plainly. Good bye!

(Knock on the door) Open the door!

Da Zamian: Here you go, hello. Who are you?

Little Shitou: I am Zhao Weifeng!

Da Zamian: Wei Feng, oops! (hug) I miss you so much. We haven’t seen each other for ten years. I miss you so much! How is your mother?

Little Shitou: Not bad!

Da Zamian: Is your father okay?

Little Shitou: Not bad!

Da Zamian: How is everything at home?

Little Shitou: Not bad!

(Xiao Dan comes out)

Xiao Dan: Oops! Little stone!

Little Stone: Huh? Who are you?

Da Zamian: Little stone? Why? This is Manager Zhao Weifeng. How could you...

Xiao Dan: Ah, it turns out to be Manager Zhao. Then sit down and chat!

(Zhao Weifeng’s cell phone rings, answer the call)

Little Shitou: Outside, Mr. Xin! What? Okay, I'll be there right away!

Old classmate, there is something going on at my company and I have to go there right away, okay? Let's get together again when we have the chance!

(Exit Zhao Weifeng)

Da Zamian: It’s over, it’s over, he’s gone, what else is going on in this class reunion? The dumplings are made, let’s have tea if anyone comes!

(Enter Lao Ganba, knock on the door)

Xiao Dan: Who is it?

Lao Ganba: Me!

Xiao Dan: Lao Ganba?

Lao Ganba: Xiao Dan? Hey, right?

Xiao Dan: Hey!

Da Zamian: Who is Xiao Dan?

Xiao Dan: Lao Ganba, come in quickly! Jun Yan, look who's here

Da Zamian: Ah, the one who sent you the gas tank, put it inside!

Xiao Dan: He looks like our old classmate Lao Ganba

Da Zamian: Lao Ganba? Which Lao Ganba?

Lao Ganba: Don’t you recognize me? Big Zamian? You forgot me, but I remember you!

Da Zamian: My name is Zhang Junyan, not Da Zamian. (Disdainfully) Let’s sit inside.

Xiao Dan: (holding Lao Ganba’s hand) Lao Ganba, what are you doing now? I haven’t seen you for a long time.

Lao Ganba: Ah, what am I...

Da Zamian: Cough! Xiao Dan, go boil some water!

Lao Ganba: Big Zamian! If not Zhang Junyan, what are you doing now?

Da Zamian: Yeah, I didn’t do anything! Just do a few small projects!

Lao Ganba: What project?

Da Zamian: Ah, nothing, that is, heating the North Star, shallowing the Pacific Ocean, cloning North Korea, and filling the black hole.

Lao Ganba: Hey! Then you are quite busy!

Da Zamian: Haha, just average! Old classmate, what are you busy writing about?

Lao Ganba: Compared with you, I am far behind. I spend all my time stirring up crops.

Da Zamian: (proudly) That’s okay, I can deal with one or two thousand a year!

Lao Ganba: How can it be possible? It’s only eight or nine hundred-ten thousand a year!

Da Zamian: Ah, eight or nine hundred? Ten thousand? I'm not talking about you, Lao Ganba, why are you bragging to me? Ah, we all came from rural areas back then. Who doesn’t know how much we earn in a year? Why are you pretending to be here if you have any difficulties? It's not like I can't help you. My family fortune now is hundreds of thousands, and I own several bicycles alone. You can push the 1989 one away later. Don’t be tired from walking all the time. Just go ride it!

Lao Ganba: Well, I’m not walking!

Da Zamian: Riding on a donkey backwards? That thing is more tiring and painful, not as good as a bicycle!

Lao Ganba: No...

(Xiao Dan enters)

Xiao Dan: What are you talking about? Come drink water!

Da Zamian: Xiao Dan, give Lao Ganba some of our shabby clothes. Buying clothes is too expensive.

Xiao Dan: Hey!

(Xiao Dan took out a piece of clothing)

Da Zamian: Are you taking the clothes that don’t belong to me?

Xiao Dan: Then why don’t you tell Lao Ganba?

Da Zamian: I said you stuffed those few things in the space of the heater!

Xiao Dan: Can I still wear it?

Da Zamian: Can Lao Ganba still dislike us?

Lao Ganba: It’s okay, I’m an old classmate, I’ll always be an old classmate!

Xiao Dan: Lao Ganba, haven’t you eaten yet?

Da Zamian: Tsk! How can Lao Ganba not eat? Besides, our vegetable oil is too big. Can Lao Ganba get used to it? What can I do if I have diarrhea again? Make some steamed buns for Lao Ganba and take them away. Lao Ganba might be in a hurry!

Xiao Dan: Zhang Junyan, are you going a little too far?

Lao Ganba: What, it’s okay, Xiao Dan, Jun Yan, you guys are busy, I’m leaving first!

(Zhao Weifeng knocks on the door)

Da Zamian: Who is this? Stop this!

(Open the door)

Da Zamian: Hey! Wei Feng! Hey, you miss me so much, great, Xiao Dan, hurry up and don’t leave today, just stay here!

Little Shitou: No, our director is here, right?

Da Zamian: Chairman? No!

Lao Ganba: (Come over) Xiao Shitou, is the matter done?

Little Shitou: Brother Xing, once it’s done, foreign investors will directly allocate 20 million!

Lao Ganba: OK, let’s go!

Da Zamian: Brother Xing! Hey, I miss you so much! Great, Xiao Dan, go buy seafood quickly. Brother Xing, don’t leave today. I’ll book a hotel for you! Hey, hurry up and soak in Longjing for Brother Xing. What are you doing with these shabby clothes? Brother Xing, sit down quickly!

Lao Ganba: Military words...

Da Zamian: Brother Xing, you should call me Da Zamian affectionately!

Lao Ganba: Do you still remember that you were called Da Zamian? Do you remember how your name came about?

Da Zamian: Of course I remember that when I was young, my family was poor and I would bring a piece of cornmeal to school every day. My classmates called me Da Zamian, but no one looked down on me. They all came to help me!

Lao Ganba: At that time, I brought a sugar bun to school every day, and I would exchange the bun for your noodles every time. It’s not that I love eating noodles, but I want you to know that besides money, there are also emotions in the world! Jun Yan, for Chairman Xin you can treat him to seafood and stay in a hotel, but for Lao Ganba, wouldn't you even want to stay a little longer? Old classmates, old classmates, no matter how rich we are, we can’t forget our old classmates!

Da Zamian: Lao Ganba! Woo——

That’s all for now＼If it’s not good, tell me again