Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - What do you have for lunch?

What do you have for lunch?

1. "What to eat for lunch" - Philosophical Problems of the New Century

At 11 o'clock, in the company's hundreds of WeChat groups, large and small, questions like secret codes for underground party connections emerged one after another. The ground rang: What’s for lunch?

This question is like a stone sinking in the ocean. Whoever asks first loses and will never get the answer. This means that the person asking will spend at least 20 minutes deciding on this matter that concerns the fate of the small group.

The newly opened Japanese food in XX mall is good, there are few people, and the sashimi is fresh...

It’s too expensive and I can’t get enough.

The Korean BBQ opposite, order two portions of meat and get the main course...

It's too slow, too late.

XX takeaway beef rice noodle set with a purchase of RMB 60 will get 30% off and free drinks!

Point.

Japanese food, grilled fish, steak, fried chicken, skewers, desserts... which one is not appetizing? Is taste the key to deciding what young people eat for lunch?

It’s money and time.

In first-tier cities such as Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and Shenzhen, you can’t even afford a KFC McDonald’s work meal for less than 20 yuan, and you can barely order a Yoshinoya small bowl set meal for 30 yuan.

50 yuan is the bottom line for lunch freedom. Most white-collar workers will use two 15-yuan box lunches to offset this "sense of guilt" after realizing their freedom.

After all, for a person who owes his landlord 200 yuan every day when he opens his eyes, spending 100 yuan on food every day is too luxurious.

Some people choose to eat the same lunch every day.

Research shows that every decision humans make causes psychological exhaustion. When fatigue accumulates to a certain level, wrong decisions may be made.

The solution is to make the same choices every day on things that don’t matter. For example, Zuckerberg’s T-shirt, Obama’s suit, and coder’s plaid shirt.

The heavy workload makes many people mechanically turn on their mobile phones as soon as noon arrives and click "Place another order". For them, lunch is just fuel to keep the body's machine running normally, which is better than nothing.

In the final analysis, the lunch problem faced by contemporary young people is: it’s too complicated and they don’t have time, it’s too cheap and they’re tired of it, and it’s too expensive and they worry about money.

2. Chinese white-collar lunch chain of contempt

Wherever there are people, there are rivers and lakes, and where there are white-collar workers, there is a chain of contempt.

If it is an indisputable fact that in the office we despise those who carry Gucci, those who wear SK-II, those who wear Estee Lauder, and those who wear Huawei’s clothes, we despise Apple, then there is no smoke in this lunch. There is still a chance for a comeback in the battle.

Takeaway lt; Fast food lt; Canteen lt; Bringing meals is an unwritten chain of contempt for office lunches.

Which girl in the cubicle doesn’t have several large takeout groups, happily ordering takeout red envelopes every day, looking forward to becoming the “luckiest person”.

Their happiness is very simple, waiting for the delivery boy to feed them every day. When it comes to food requirements, most people don’t really care much about ingredients.

The most popular light salad at the moment is the most excluded among all takeaways. Colorful vegetables, rough texture, slightly salty bread, mixed with various whole grains, such as oats, buckwheat, rye, etc., look healthy but taste boring.

The will of the eater hangs on a thread, and may fall apart at any time under the temptation of spicy hot pot, fragrant pot, and roujiamo.

After all, it took humans hundreds of millions of years to evolve to the top of the food chain, and they already have a set of judgments on food requirements. After finishing the meal, you can touch the oil on your mouth, touch your belly, and let out a long burp. This is a perfect meal.

However, the joy of eating takeout for one person is looked down upon by people who go out in groups to eat fast food.

In the eyes of people who "eat out", eating is not just a matter of swallowing a few times, but also includes the time, place and people enjoying the food together. Lunch has been upgraded to a social item. activities.

For new employees, lunch is a social test in the workplace. Not being able to find colleagues for lunch can even give rise to a different kind of "anxiety disorder."

When eating with colleagues, lunch time has become an excellent time to learn about the latest developments (eights) (hexagrams) of the company. It is a charging station for most people outside of work.

Be careful when dining with your boss. This may be an invisible extra meal test.

Compared with the popular "dining out" business, the company canteen has always been a low-key and luxurious existence in the lunch world.

The "2019 White-Collar Lunch Style Survey" shows that only 20% of working people order takeout every day, 30% of people "eat out", and 40% of white-collar workers choose to eat in canteens.

Data source: Zhaopin Recruitment

Whether it is a large canteen in a large company or a small group in a small company, companies with canteens are more attractive when recruiting. After all, eating in the canteen saves worry and time on the one hand, and on the other hand, the company subsidizes meals and saves money.

Therefore, whenever someone posts about the four dishes and one soup that cost five yuan for a meal in the workplace canteen, they can’t help but feel envious in their hearts.

However, no matter takeout, fast food or canteen, they all become eclipsed in front of those who bring meals. Today's food-carrying households are no longer concentrated on middle-aged women who clean up the leftovers. Most people prepare the food the night before and get up early to cook it.

Organic black pork short ribs, Australian grain-fed beef ribs, wild chicken matsutake...the daily lunches of the new era rice cooks are always ready to be selected into "A Bite of China".

And these exquisite pig girls/ladies who stand at the top of the contempt chain will definitely take their own toothbrushes and toothpaste after lunch, and end today's lunch with a careful brushing of their teeth.

They are the people who know how to live best.

3. Lunch, a great spiritual health care for young people

Some people say that lunch is just a meal, but there are so many things to pay attention to.

Not really.

Some research has found that the longer you work every day, the more attention you pay to lunch.

Data from the "2019 Survey on Weekly Overtime Work of White-Collar Workers" show that 80% of white-collar workers work overtime as a norm, and more than 20% work overtime for 10 hours or more per week. The working hours of white-collar workers are increasing and the pressure is increasing. Eating well is to cheer themselves up in a tiring life.

For those who don’t treat themselves badly when it comes to food, work is hard enough and they must eat well. Everyday lunch is a reward for the busy morning and the bullets for the battlefield in the afternoon. If you don't eat well, you will waste your day.

“Sometimes I want to save some money and eat less at noon. But I didn’t do anything all afternoon, so I ordered a 60-yuan fried chicken burger before getting off work...”

“When When I ate a whole pigeon, seafood rice, and six fishes for lunch, I thought about the grievances at work. It’s not a big deal.”

So, freedom of lipstick and freedom of bags are not as good as freedom of eating. Come as it should. When you have time to complain, you might as well think about what you can eat for 20 yuan at noon tomorrow.