A joke that can make your stomach ache.

A joke that can make your stomach ache.

We should live a sweet life every day. Jokes are essential in our life. Although jokes can't exist every day, it's really good to play a joke on others occasionally. Here are some jokes that can make us laugh until our stomachs hurt.

A joke that can make you laugh until your stomach hurts 1 First of all, please remember one sentence: you must eat breakfast! Of course, it is not because you are unhealthy, but because it is the cheapest meal of your day!

Second, men have gold on their knees, and women have it on their heads, necks, ears and hands.

Third, when some girls go to worship Buddha, they must remember: no makeup! If it succeeds, the Bodhisattva will protect you, and I'm afraid she won't find you!

Fourth, when I was a child, I saw my parents quarreling and often struggled. Should I get married when I grow up? It was not until I reached that age that I found out: I really think too much!

How fragile is my relationship with my boyfriend? As long as I take off my makeup, maybe he will never want to see me again in his life.

6. I always believed that I would lose weight. I'm just playing fat now, but I didn't expect to play fat.

7. The teacher is bald. Once in class, he said, "What if my left hand is positive and my right hand is negative?" The deskmate replied, "Your skull will light up."

Eight, I am angry today. I just went to the barber's to have my hair cut. The barber asked me where to cut it, and I said I cut my chin. Then he asked me: What level did you cut your chin?

9. Why do some people ask for dozens of items when looking for a partner? My mate selection criteria are three words: please.

10. One of my colleagues is allergic to mutton. His face was swollen when he ate mutton, so everyone took him with him every time he ate mutton kebabs. The more swollen his face is, the more authentic his mutton is.

Wife: Husband, the typhoon is coming! You must hold me tight. What will they do if I blow into other people's homes? Husband: You can forget it! Just like you, people will send you back against the wind!

Today, I am playing with my mobile phone after class. Suddenly, someone was lying on my back. I thought it was my girlfriend, so I kissed her As a result, it is the class teacher. ...

Thirteen, what is the power of mathematics? I can't understand the answer after copying! What is the power of Chinese? I don't want to copy after reading the answer!

14. Q: How do you understand that you can do the right thing with the right people? A: Go to the vegetable market to buy food and follow my aunt. After the aunt reduced the price, you said, I want two Jin, too.

15. I once threatened at a high temperature of 40 degrees that I would rather freeze to death than become a dog. Until today, I was frozen into a dog, because I was too young to understand that beautiful promise.

Jokes that can make your stomach ache II. I ate watermelon for the first time when I was a child, and then I stopped spitting watermelon seeds. Then my mother told me that if you eat watermelon without spitting watermelon seeds, watermelon seedlings will grow in your stomach. I don't believe it. Then the next day, my stomach hurt. I thought it was watermelon seeds sprouting in my stomach, which scared me to find my mother. Mom found me some medicine and said that all she had to do was pull it out. Then I squatted in the toilet that day and didn't come out. But I still haven't pulled out watermelon seedlings.

Secondly, one day when ants were moving, it suddenly began to rain, so ants had to hide and spread around. An ant was hiding in a shell when suddenly a song came from someone's house, and the lyrics were "Yi Yi Yo". The little ant listened, and then opened his mouth. Sure enough, my teeth are too dark to see.

Thirdly, once Xiao Ming came home from school and said to his mother, "Mom, I am the strongest in our class, and I will definitely become a strongman in the future." Mother said, "How can you be so sure? Where did you get the confidence? " Xiao Ming said, "The teacher gave it to me! Our head teacher always said that I was dragging our class down by myself! "

Fourth, accompany my mother to buy clothes and sit outside waiting for her to try on clothes. When I see a little boy waiting for my mother like me, I will chat with him. I said, "You are waiting for your mother, too! We are so poor. " The little boy said, "I'm not poor." I'm not like you. I want to leave. " I just smiled and didn't speak. Then, the little boy suddenly shouted, "Mom, there is a strange aunt here. She wants to take me away." I ...

When I was a child, my mother told me more than once that kissing would get pregnant. As a result, once my dog jumped up and grabbed the meat and accidentally kissed me on the mouth. A month later, he gave birth to several paparazzi. Out of a sense of responsibility, as long as I have a bite of meat to eat from now on, I won't let them little paparazzi starve. After a while, I finally realized that I am not a woman.

Xiaoming's mother is making a mask. At this moment, the doorbell rang. Xiao Ming's mother was inconvenient, so she called Xiao Ming, "Go and open the door. I can't see anyone now. " Then Xiao Ming hurried to open the door. Looks like dad. As soon as Dad came in, he asked Xiao Ming, "Where's your mother? Not at home? " Xiao Ming said, "My mother is doing a shameful thing."

Go climbing with friends, watch the sunrise, reach the top of the mountain, and wait for a while. I said, "I saw it." A friend of mine also pointed to the sky and said, "I saw it, too." At this time, a man in the distance came out with trousers and scolded, "I see it when I see it." What are you shouting? "

Eight, one day, I took an exam, and one of the questions was to guess what kind of dog it was by looking at the dog's legs. A candidate really couldn't understand it, so he tore up the paper in a fit of pique and planned to leave the examination room. Then the invigilator came and asked, "What class are you in? What's your name? " Hearing this, the examinee rolled up his trouser legs and said to the teacher, "Guess!"

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, "I felt sand in my shoes when I was walking on the road today, so I took off a part and shook it with a pole." A man thought I was electrocuted, so he grabbed a stick and gave me two.

Ten, noodles were beaten by steamed bread, and I found my cousin's instant noodles to avenge him. Instant noodles are beaten when they see bean buns. When I came back, I said to the noodles, "Don't worry, I beat the shit out of that bean bag."