Cell phone text messages jokes

1. I have been your friend for so long, and you have always cared about me, but I often cause you trouble. I really don’t know how to repay you

So... So. ..In the next life, you will be a cow or a horse...I will definitely pull grass for you to eat... 2. I miss you very much, but I’m embarrassed to call you. I’m afraid you’re busy, I’m afraid you’ll ignore me, I’m afraid you’ll think I’m harassing you. I really want to contact you, but... the phone bill is really high. Gui, please call me!

---Old guerrilla 3. If you were a shooting star, I would chase you. If you were a satellite, I would wait for you. If you were a star, I would fall in love with you.

But unfortunately... you are an orangutan~ I can only stay in the zoo. See you!! Oh...what a pity!! 4. I'm so confused now... I don't know what I'm thinking... My mind is almost annoyed to death... I really don't know what to do?... Can you tell me... ..I really don’t know whether to eat Da Gan Noodles or Ah Q Bucket Noodles!

---Old guerrilla 5. Thank you for accompanying me when I was most frustrated, and for helping me when I needed help the most. There are too many words to express. I just want to tell you: "Since I have known you, there has been no one. A good thing happened! You are so bad!"

---Old guerrilla 6. I'm sorry~~I sent you a text message so late~~If I disturbed you~~I want to say something to you~~

You deserve it~~Who told you to go to bed earlier than me~ ~~Haha!! 7. Meeting you~ is my heart-beating start to fall in love with you~ it is my happy choice to have you~ is my most precious treasure~~ stepping onto the red carpet~ is my eternal motivation, the person I love forever~ it is you who regrets~ I sent the message to the wrong person 8. Because of you, I believe in fate. Maybe all of this is destined by God, pulling us both secretly.

Now, I really want to think about it... What sins did I commit in my previous life! 9. Starting tomorrow, the city has decided to eliminate all mentally handicapped young people who are ugly and detract from the appearance of the city!

Pack your things quickly and go out to avoid the limelight. Don’t tell anyone that I informed you, remember! No thanks 10. God saw that you were thirsty, and created water; God saw that you were hungry, and created rice; God saw that you had no lovely friends, and created me; but He also saw that there are no idiots in the world, and by the way, He also created you. 11. If it were stipulated that a person could only be nice to one person in his life, I would rather that person be you. I have no regrets and will do it until death! But there are no regulations...then forget it! 12． Thinking of you is a happy thing! Seeing you is a happy thing! Loving you is what I will always do! Keeping you in my heart is what I have always done! But to lie to you, it just happened! Ha ha! 13． The phone rings once, which means I'm thinking of you! Two sounds means I like you! Three sounds means I love you!

When the seventh tone rings... Damn it, I really have something to call you, why don't you answer the phone quickly! 14. According to statistics, more than 99.9% of pig-headed people use their thumbs to press buttons to read text messages! Hehe, there’s no need to change hands, it’s too late.

Pig head! Hahaha15． I wrote your name in the sky, but it was blown away by the wind; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was washed away by the sea; I wrote your name in every corner... Fuck, I was beaten by the police Caught! 16． If being good-looking is a mistake...I've made a big mistake. If being cute is a sin...I've already committed a heinous crime.

It's so hard to be a human being!...You're fine~ That's right and not guilty ...I really envy you17． When the white clouds float by, it is the trace that I miss you; when the sun shines, it is the feeling that I miss you; when the rain falls, it is the evidence that I miss you; when thunder and lightning strike, it is my prayer to the sky that you will be struck. ...ha--ha-- 18． If I can meet you by burning incense for one year, I can get to know you by burning incense for three years, and cherish you by burning incense for ten years,

For my happiness in the next life, I am willing to... .converted to Christianity.. 19.Are your palms itchy? That means I miss your caress; are your lips itchy? That means I miss your passionate kiss; are you itchy...that means you are so dirty, why don't you go take a shower! 20. It’s just a gust of wind, but it’s so eternal; it’s just a dream, but it’s so real; you lower your head and say nothing, but I can’t calm down, and finally I can’t help but say to you: “I’ll say it before I fart!” 21 .In the middle of the night, there is no light in the toilet. You go to relieve yourself, fall into the pit, fight with maggots, compete with feces, no one saves you, heroic sacrifice, great life, silent death, in order to commemorate you, the toilet has a light! 22. Your smile makes wolves hang themselves. Your bark makes chickens and dogs jump. When you stand, the stench fills the air. When you sweat, lice are a disaster. If you don’t dress up, you are uglier than a ghost. When you dress up, you will kneel down and become paralyzed. . 23. You have a rich appearance like a peony, a tough quality like a plum blossom, a pure heart like a lotus, a sweet smile like a peach blossom, and a sassy demeanor like a sunflower. I look around and see that you are just a nympho! 24. After eighty-one difficulties, Tang Monk and his disciples achieved enlightenment. Sanzang drives the car and Wukong sells the pot. Sha Seng was so big that he became a model. There was only one Zhu Bajie left, smiling at his mobile phone. Still laughing! 25. Today I met a fool, and I said: fool, are you stupid? The idiot said: Not stupid. I said: Silly man, are you smart? The fool said: Fine. I said: Idiot, will you accept my text message if you don’t finish reading it? After reading my text message, Idiot said: No! 26. I cover your eyes quietly, gently place a banana peel under your feet, watch you step on it tenderly, and smile as you look for teeth all over the floor! Then I smile lightly: Let’s see if you still dare. Forget me! 27. Looking back on the past, you were there when I was lonely, you were there when I was lonely, you were there when I was depressed, and you were there when I was helpless! Zhan Ming Dynasty, I have you when I am happy, I have you when I am happy, I have you when I am harvesting, I use my heart to love you, I use text messages to harass you... 28. There is a tacit understanding called tacit understanding, and there is a feeling called wonderful, There is a kind of longing called longing, and there is a kind of idiot who will read all the text messages! 29. The person who receives the message is an Egyptian mummy, the person who deletes the message is an African bedbug, the person who replies is a Rwandan wild boar, and the person who does not reply is a Thai ladyboy whose surgery was unsuccessful! 30. The vast sky allows you to fly high, and the beautiful story is yours. Play, kind children should chase and send humorous short messages to the little turtle! 31. You are ruthless, you are ruthless, you are so ruthless; a person is thinner than a cucumber, not even three ounces of meat; the skin is thicker than a city wall, and cannonballs cannot penetrate it; the heart is smaller than the eye of a needle, and never suffers; love is thinner than paper, who can catch me? Who cheated! 32. I will build your happiness; I will make up for your confusion; I will satisfy your greed; I will give in to your willfulness; I am the only one who loves and protects you, who makes me a professional pig farmer33 .If a drop of water represents a blessing, I will give you a South China Sea. If a star represents a happiness, I will give you a Milky Way. If a spoon of honey represents a yearning, I will give you a hornet's nest. I don't believe it can sting you to death! !!