The script of a funny skit about buying clothes is urgent. It is a group of six people, a boss lady, two employees, a pair of rich bosses, and a boss lady.

Olympic Crosstalk "Big Coach" Text A: Everyone loves to listen to crosstalk.

B: That’s right.

A: Why do you like to listen to cross talk?

B: Huh?

A: Mainly because cross talk can make people laugh. Listening to a cross talk, laughing and relaxing can make people feel very happy.

B: Alas.

A: Actually, not only cross talk makes people happy, but there are many things in life that can make people happy.

B: Yes?

A: Look. Isn't this recent?

B: Huh?

A: The Olympic Games have just ended.

B: Oh, that’s right.

A: The Chinese team won 32 gold medals, 17 silver medals and 14 bronze medals. Ah, the number of gold medals has increased by 4 compared to the last Sydney Olympics, ranking second, surpassing Russia, ah, how good!

B: Alas.

A: How happy!

B: That’s right.

A: Have you read it?

B: I watch it every day.

A: Do you understand?

B: Okay, I’m a stupid boy, I can’t even understand the TV?

A: You don’t understand. Experts know the rules, but laymen see the excitement. You, just watch the fun.

B: Yes.

A: I am different! Not only reading, but also summarizing while reading.

B: Oh, summary. What to summarize?

A: Summarize our achievements and find out our shortcomings.

B: What have you concluded?

A: According to my summary, we still maintain a leading position in many traditional advantage projects.

B: Oh.

A: What do you like about diving, weightlifting, shooting, table tennis, badminton? We are still very strong in these.

B: Yes.

A: There are still some projects where we have made historic breakthroughs.

B: Yes?

A: Alas, no. You're like tennis women's doubles, we won the gold medal, right?

B: Yes.

A: Men’s double rowing is also a gold medal, right?

B: That’s right.

A: The gold medal with the highest gold content.

B: Huh?

A: Men's 110-meter hurdles.

B: Oh, that’s right.

A: This is not only the first time a Chinese has won a gold medal in this event, it is also a breakthrough for the entire Asia in this event.

B: Oh, yes.

A: Our women’s volleyball team is also very good.

B: Yeah.

A: After 20 years, I won the Olympic gold medal again. How great!

B: Oh, so...you are very knowledgeable about sports?

A: I...what do I study for? This is what I do.

B: Oh, you are engaged in sports?

A: You don’t know me?

B: ...Excuse my ignorance, I really don’t know you.

A: Coach ×××, haven’t you heard of him?

B: ...No.

A: Hoo! Just wait a little longer.

B: What am I waiting for?

A: What are you waiting for? You will see me on TV soon!

B: Hey, are you on TV? What show?

A: What program is it? "Eastern Time and Space"!

B: "Eastern Time and Space"? What column?

A: Do you still need to ask? "Son of the East"!

B: (admiringly) Oops! "Son of the East"?

A: Alas, "Chinese sports chief coach ×××", me!

B: Yes?

A: Alas. No, the advertising company is coming to see me soon.

B: Why are we looking for you?

A: Cai Zhenhua, do you know?

B: I know, the head coach of the Chinese table tennis team.

A: Oh, Global Communications, why don’t you ask him to shoot an advertisement?

B: That’s right.

A: Just stop there and say, "I can." Right?

B: Yes.

A: Alas, Global Communications will also ask me to shoot an advertisement in two days!

B: Yes?

A: Alas. When the time comes, I will stop there and have two lines!

B: "I can!"

A: ..."I have!"

B: Huh? ! "I have"? !

A: Look, this, this, this... this is coming soon!

B: Oh. Alas, it’s so lively, which project are you the coach of?

A: Me? Which project?

B: Ah.

A: More! That’s a lot!

B: Too many?

A: I... teach everything!

B: Teach everything?

A: Well, I know all your wrestling, swimming, boxing, shooting, gymnastics, track and field, and equestrian relay.

B: Oh, these plenums?

A: Oh, teach me everything!

B: Oh, you know so many!

A: What’s this? !

B: Talents like you are rare!

A: Oh, you’re right. Isn’t this yesterday afternoon——

B: Huh?

A: The State Sports General Administration is looking for me.

B: Hey, the State Sports General Administration is looking for you?

A: Ah.

B: Why are we looking for you...?

A: Ask me to become a monk!

B: Huh? Looking for you to become a monk? Is it Shaolin Temple or Famen Temple?

A: What is Shaolin Temple for?

B: Didn’t you say that I wanted to become a monk?

A: You don’t understand. "Renunciation" means that I haven't been a coach for a long time and I was resting at home. Then someone invited me out of the house and continued teaching...

B: Is that called "renunciation"?

A: Huh?

B: That’s called “coming out of the mountain”!

A: "Come out of the mountain"? Oh, yes, yes, come find me.

B: Alas.

A: I was watching people playing chess at the entrance of the alley, and I heard "Ur, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh..." (police siren) outside, and a car came...

B: Alas, alas, just wait.

A: What’s wrong?

B: Is this the State Sports General Administration coming to see you? Or is the Public Security Bureau coming to arrest you?

A: Why are you arresting me?

B: Why do people from the General Administration of Sports still say "Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh..."? Isn't this a police car?

A: You don’t understand. They sent a police car to pick me up.

B: Ah, send a police car to pick you up?

A: I took a look and said, "Yo", what is this police car doing here?

B: That’s right.

A: Just when I was wondering, two policemen jumped out of the car, stopped in front of me, and asked me, "Are you ×××." "Ah, I am." "Follow us. Let’s go!”

B: Well, I’ll arrest you!

A: What? I asked him clearly because he was afraid of getting the wrong person.

B: Oh.

A: Please get me in the car, turn on the siren, "Uh-huh-huh-huh...", keep the light green, go straight to...

B: Where?

A: Diaoyutai!

B: Oh, Diaoyutai State Guesthouse?

A: Oh, that’s right.

B: What are you going there for?

A: Well, the General Administration of Sports is hosting a banquet, so I’m invited to the banquet.

B: Oh, such a big deal?

A: Well, when we got there, many leaders from the General Administration of Sports arrived. One by one, they shook hands with me and introduced themselves.

B: Oops.

A: We all know each other, let’s sit down and eat. Put me in the middle. The director said, "Let's chat while we eat." He waved to the waiter, "Waiter, let's start the dishes!" Oops, after a while, the waiter came over with a tray, a bowl for each person, and he was full of enthusiasm... …

B: What?

A: Lamb soup! Hey, this is good! ...

B: (Interruption) Oh, alas, just wait.

A: What’s wrong?

B: Let me tell you, when the General Administration of Sports invites you to dinner at Diaoyutai, you just drink mutton soup?

A: Huh?

B: Eat something good!

A: What’s wrong with the mutton soup? They give you a lot of chili peppers at the State Guesthouse! No restrictions, drink when you’re full!

B: Well, this one is easy to deal with.

A: We were chatting while drinking. Just after finishing the mutton soup, the waiter brought another basin!

B: What?

A: Paste the pastry and cook the little fish!

B: Huh? ...Is there any stuffed fish cooked in the Diaoyutai? !

A: Look, there must be a lot of fish on Diaoyutai? !

B: Oh, there are only a lot of fish in Diaoyutai? It's done, don't introduce your food.

A: What’s wrong?

B: Why don’t you just tell the State Sports General Administration what business it wants from you?

A: Look, I was puzzled at first, but then the director said it.

B: What are you talking about?

A: The director said, "Coach ×, please come, there is no other meaning. Look, the Athens Olympics has just concluded, and the Olympic flag has also been handed over to Beijing. In four years' time, it will be our country's turn to host the event. This time, we performed well and won thirty-two gold medals. Four years later, if we hold the event, the gold medal will definitely be no more than this time. Only a few people can do it, so I have found you and asked you to be the head coach of the 2008 Chinese Olympic team. Are you interested?"

B: Oh, please? Be a head coach? ! Did you agree?

A: You see, if the organization trusts me so much, then I will definitely take responsibility for it!

B: Oops!

A: It is my duty to win glory for the country! I said, "Ask me to be your coach? Okay! No problem! I'll do it! I'll do it! I guarantee that in four years I will win many more gold medals than this time."

B: So Take a big breath!

A: "But, there is one thing."

B: What?

A: "If you ask me to be the coach, I have the final say."

B: Oh.

A: "When I say use that athlete, I have to use that athlete. If someone goes against me and says no, no, no, that's not a thing!"

B: No Wrong, don’t use it if you suspect it, don’t use it if you employ it!

A: The director said, "That's no problem. You are the head coach and you have the final say." I said, "That's fine. Look at me. I guarantee that we will have gold medals in piles by then." ”

B: Ho!

A: "Let's stop talking nonsense. I'm going home right now and get ready to go."

B: Hey, you are so impatient!

A: "Hey, waiter, are there any leftovers of the stuffed fish with pastry? Pack a bag for me!"

B: Huh? Do you still need to take away your meals at Diaoyutai?

A: "Hey, pack a bag! Is there any more mutton soup? Give it to me too!"

B: Oh!

A: My wife and children haven’t eaten at home yet!

B: Well, the whole family has dinner.

A: Get the packed bag, and the General Administration of Sports sent a police dog to take me home...

B: Huh? Police dog? !

A: No, no, police car, police car, send a police car to take me home.

I have to start thinking about it quickly!

B: What are you considering?

A: You see, the 2008 Olympics is coming soon. I have to start thinking about which events and which athletes will be used at that time. This has to be decided as soon as possible!

B: Oh, yes.

A: No, I have been thinking about it all night. This morning, I just decided on the list of delegations.

B: Ah, it was decided so quickly?

A: Look, it’s so neat!

B: Can you tell me who is on the list?

A: Who to tell? Tell you? What are you doing?

B: It’s not my job. Everyone cares about the Olympics and wants to hear something new!

A: Oh, do you want to hear it?

B: Alas.

A: That’s okay.

B: Then tell me.

A: I am getting ready. By 2008, I will build a dream team to compete in the Olympic Games!

B: Yes?

A: Oh, that’s right. The athletes will continue to retain the gold medal events this time! This time, I have to change people for the events where I won silver and bronze medals, as well as the events where I didn’t win a medal or even get a ranking.

B: What projects are there?

A: Which items to change. Let's talk about it next to each other, the shooting was good this time, but it didn't move. It seems that you didn't win the gold medal in archery, right?

B: No.

A: Change!

B: Oh, shoot an arrow instead. Who should I replace?

A: Who should I change? Hehe, Hua Rong!

B: Huh? !

A: "Xiao Li Guang" Hua Rong, hey, have you ever heard of him? He can cross the Yangtze River with a hundred steps! He...

B: Just wait, just wait.

A: Huh?

B: "Xiao Li Guang" Hua Rong, right?

A: Yeah.

B: The man from the Song Dynasty has been dead for more than 900 years. Do you still use him? !

A: Look, look, I said it. I have known for a long time that if I say that I should use such and such, there will definitely be people who will dissent. If this doesn’t work, that won’t work. Otherwise, I should tell the General Administration of Sports that such a person is not a thing!

B: Oh, me? !

A: If I say yes, he does! It doesn't matter if Hua Rong dies.

B: Ah.

A: Let’s find his descendants.

B: Looking for offspring?

A: Dragon begets dragon, phoenix begets phoenix, the mouse’s son can make holes. Hua Rong is good at archery, and his descendants can't be wrong either. Find his descendants! Go to the Public Security Bureau to investigate! Look for someone whose surname is Hua, and look for it inside! If you find it, use it!

B: Ah, are you looking for it like this? !

A: Alas. Next is the walking race and the marathon, I'm preparing...

B: Who should I use?

A: Dai Zong!

B: Dai Zong?

A: Alas, Dai Zong, the "Magical Taibao"!

B: Okay, it’s from "Water Margin" again!

A: You can walk more than 800 miles in one day! Can foreigners compare?

B: No way, no way.

A: Oh! oh! Is it over? !

B: It’s not enough if it’s just finished, this one is dead too!

A: Dead too?

B: Ah!

A: It doesn’t matter, look for his descendants! Dragon begets dragon, phoenix begets phoenix, the mouse's son can make holes!

B: Well, he is familiar with this set of words!

A: I’m also going to make substitutions for boxing!

B: Boxing? Who to use?

A: Wu Song!

B: Wu...yes, even tigers can be killed, so beating people is no problem.

A: Is this dead?

B: Dead!

A: Looking for offspring! Dragon begets dragon, phoenix begets phoenix, the mouse's son can make holes!

B: Okay, here we go again!

A: I am also preparing to increase my strength in the weightlifting team.

B: Who will be added?

A: I’m going to send Lu Zhishen to join the weightlifting team!

B: Lu Zhishen? !

A: Lu Zhishen, pulling up weeping willows upside down, how powerful is that!

B: Oh, yes.

A: He’s dead too, right?

B: Yes.

A: Looking for offspring.

A and B: Dragon begets dragon, phoenix begets phoenix, the mouse’s son can make holes!

B: I know all your tricks!

A: Look, it’s over now!

B: Can’t get married!

A: Why can’t we get married?

B: This is Lu Zhishen.

A: Huh?

B: He is a monk!

A: And...

B: Hehe.

A: Oh... Lu Zhishen is a monk?

B: That’s right.

A: Oh, he is a monk...

B: Alas.

A: It doesn’t matter, let’s change people!

B: Who should I replace?

A: Jin Wu Shu!

B: Jin...why did Jin Wushu also come out?

A: Alas, you haven’t read "The Complete Biography of Yue Shuo". The Kingdom of Jin was preparing to attack the Song Dynasty and was looking for someone to lead the army. Jin Wushu recommended himself without success. Ah, he was able to lift a tripod with one hand. One hand was so strong, so how could the two hands be combined together? What an energy!

B: Well, he will think about it!

A: Just the Golden Wushu!

B: Hmm.

A: Still a minority player!

B: Hey, look.

A: I am also planning to use new members for the swimming team!

B: Who should I replace?

A: Zhang Shun!

B: Oh, "Baitiao in the Waves", Zhang Shun?

A: Oh, by the way, Baitiao in the Waves, how water-based it is! Isn't this a monk?

B: ...No.

A: Look, it’s over!

B: Let me tell you, do you plan to use all these heroes in Shuibo Liangshan? !

A: Not only are there good guys, there are also bad guys.

B: Who is it?

A: High! I'm going to send Gao Qi to participate in the men's football match!

B: Yes?

A: Alas, people are so tall. This is the ancestor of football, the king of the ball! Send him on the field and play with everything from Korea to Brazil and Italy!

B: Okay.

I said it took me a long time to send them, but why did you send them all from the Song Dynasty?

A: It’s too late, right? It doesn't matter, I'll send you someone from the Han Dynasty!

B: Han...who is it?

A: Liu Bei!

B: Huh? ! Liu Bei also came out? What is he participating in?

A: Equestrian!

B: Equestrian?

A: Alas, there is no equestrian competition in the Olympic Games. Uncle Liu Huang’s horse jumped over Tanxi River. He must have a way to train horses. It is suitable to participate in equestrian competition!

B: Okay, "Three Kingdoms" has been changed again!

A: We have too many talents in China! There are people for every project!

B: What other projects are there?

A: Fencing!

B: Who should I use?

A: Linghu Chong!

B: Huh? ! Are martial arts novels also out? !

A: Alas, Linghu Chong! Dugu Nine Swords! Didn't your referee make a mistake? I'll strike at you first!

B: Huh? !

A: There is also floor exercise, floor exercise, I am going to use...

B: Who is it?

A: ...Sun Wukong!

B: Huh? Sun Hou'er also came out? !

A: Sun Wukong can do somersaults, and no one can beat him in somersaults!

B: Okay!

A: Long jump...

B: Who should I use?

A: ...Sun Wukong!

B: Why is it him again?

A: Alas, Sun Wukong is a thousand miles away!

B: Yes, no one can compare to this.

A: High jumper...

B: Who should I use?

A: ...Sun Wukong!

B: Why is it him again?

A: Look, how good is Sun Hou'er in heaven and earth? !

B: Alas, no!

A: Pole vault...

B: Who should I use?

A and B: Sun Wukong!

B: I knew it had to be him!

A: He has a golden cudgel, which can be extended and retracted. It is perfect for pole vaulting!

B: I said you wait.

A: What’s wrong?

B: I have been talking for a long time, but you have no correct words! The first one is "Water Margin", the second one is "Three Kingdoms", followed closely by martial arts novels, oh, now it's changed to "Journey to the West"? !

A: What’s wrong?

B: These are all novels and fictitious. Where did you find the person in them? !

A: Oh, you think it’s impossible?

B: Absolutely impossible!

A: None of what I said can be realized?

B: It can’t be realized!

A: I can’t lead the team to win the championship?

B: You can’t win the championship, but you can catch coronary heart disease!

A: Then...that's okay, then I'll change it!

B: How to change it?

A: I don’t need any of these people!

B: Alas, you have to be more realistic!

A: Be realistic, right?

B: Alas.

A: Then...I will use you!

B:...Use me? What are you using me for?

A: I’ll use you to play basketball!

B: Play basketball?

A: Well, not only basketball, but basketball first and then football.

B: Oh, we still have to play football?

A: Not only football, but also!

B: What else?

A: After playing football, you can play baseball again.

After baseball, you play handball, after handball, you play volleyball, after volleyball, you play tennis, after tennis and table tennis, after table tennis, you play badminton, after badminton, you play hockey, shot put, hammer throw, and finally beach volleyball. , you will be able to complete these ball games!

B: I don’t know how to play these balls!

A: You are humble, you are humble!

B: Why am I so humble?

A: Don’t you have a nickname?

B: What is my name?

A: "Asshole"!

B: Go to hell. Respondent: Fast Food Live - Dusi Level 7 3-708: 29 A: The two of us will perform a cross talk for you today. B: Please bear with me if I don’t speak well.

(A and B bow) A: Do you know that Beijing will host the Olympic Games in 2008?

B: I know!

A: Oh, the information is quite good!

B: Hi, who doesn’t know this? !

A: You know the Olympic Games, but do you know what its full name is?

B: Full name? What is it?

A: Don’t you know? Let me tell you, the full name of the Olympic Games is "Olympus Games"!

B: Huh? !

A: This Olympus...

B: Alas, alas, wait a minute?

A: What’s wrong?

B: "Olympus"? That's an Olympus camera!

A: ...camera? Oh, it's not Olympus, it's called Olympus? . . Augustus? . . Australia?

B: What is that?

A: I remember it! Oscar Games! This Oscar...

B: Alas, alas, stop it! Oh, Olympus is wrong, changed to Oscar again? And a Grammy!

A: So what do you think it should be called?

B: That’s called the “Olympic Games”!

A: Oh...yes, yes, "Olympic Games"! .

B: Yes.

A: Alas, I watched the Athens Olympics every day last year.

B: Oh, watch it every day?

A: Oh, I read it every day. We often see our Chinese athletes winning gold medals and so on. Seeing them, I know what I want to do when I grow up!

B: What do you want to do?

A: I want to be an athlete!

B: Oh, as an athlete?

A: Well, I want to be an athlete, I can also participate in the Olympics, and I can also win gold medals! When the time comes, I will stand on the podium, oh! How majestic! Thousands of spectators around me cheered and I waved to them! "HELLO!" (Imitation) The award-giving guest came over, followed by the hostess, carrying a tray with a shining gold medal on it. I shook hands with him first, then lowered my head, and he hung the gold medal around my neck. The gold medal was mine!

B: (slightly sarcastic) That’s not the case!

A: How great! Nothing like it now, now that I have grown so big, I don’t even have a bicycle plate on my neck, let alone a gold medal.

B: Huh? Are there any people who hang bicycle tags around their necks?

A: Not to mention hanging up, you haven’t even touched me!

B: What cards have you drawn?

A: Me, I just... playing cards.

B: Hey, what’s the use of playing cards!

A: So, I figured it out! If you want to wear a gold medal, you have to be an athlete!

B: Oh, just for the gold medal?

A: Not only the gold medal!

B: What else?

A: There is also a bonus!

B: Award...

A: Didn’t you read the newspaper? The country will award 80,000 gold medals alone!

B: Oh, is that what you want? The inquiry was quite clear! I said, when other champions compete for gold medals, they only want to win glory for the country, but you are better off because you are just looking at money!

A: Well, not only will the country reward me, but I will also win the championship, that newspaper, and that TV. . . . .

B: Just wait a minute. Oh, you are a training athlete who dreams of becoming a champion before you become one?

A: Isn’t it hard to say that as an athlete? I will become one right away!

B: Are you qualified to be an athlete?

A: What conditions are required?

B: To be an athlete, you must first have a good physique.

A: I have a good physique!

B: Yes?

A: Of course I’m in good shape!

B: So...how good is your physique?

A: How good it is, it’s hard to say, anyway... I can eat ten steamed buns in this meal!

B: Ah, eating steamed buns? !

A: (gesturing proudly with his hands) Such a big one!

B: That’s useless!

A: So what are you talking about?

B: You have to exercise!

A: Oh, you still need to exercise?

B: How fresh!

A: Okay, let me practice! I practice! You say, what should we practice? (Presenting)

B: Okay, are you here to fight? What you practice depends on what you like.

A: What project do you like?

B: Alas.

A: There are so many I like!

B: What’s there?

A: What do you like...football, basketball, table tennis, tennis, baseball, badminton, water polo, handball, hockey, discus, javelin, hammer throw, some pommel horse rings, high jump, long jump, pole vault, horizontal bars, parallel bars, uneven bars, wrestling, judo Taekwondo, equestrian fencing, kayaking, diving, swimming, marathon, 10,000-meter sprint hurdles, boxing, cycling and weightlifting, I like them all!

B: Ah, there are so many projects, can you practice them?

A: I am determined!

B: Oh.

A: Make up your mind! I practice every week 12345678.

B: Is there an Saturday? Let Baozi be confused!

A: There are 123,456 days in the week. Practice every day.

B: Oh, you don’t even have a day off on weekends?

A: If I have a gold medal, why should I rest?

B: This determination is big enough!

A: I was not old enough when I went to Athens last time.

B: What about you?

A: How many gold medals per ***?

B: One *** two hundred and eighty-five yuan.

A: If you had me, 285 yuan, I would get at least 284 yuan back!

B: Hey, why did you keep a piece? Get it all back!

A: No, I want to leave a piece to the Greek people to show my friendship to the host people.

B: Yes, that’s quite thoughtful!

A: I can’t catch up with the Athens Olympics, so I’m looking forward to Beijing!

B: By then, won’t all the gold medals belong to you?

A: Will I give you two pieces then?

B: I don’t want it! Well, let’s make ourselves the president of the Olympic Committee! You can't do so many things on your own.

A: Can’t practice?

B: I can’t practice!

A: Then I should practice less?

B: Well, find your favorite and practice first.

A: Favorite?

B: Alas. What is your favorite project?

A: Me, rhythmic gymnastics!

B: Huh? !

A: Oh, let’s do some belt exercises, ball exercises, these... I have the foundation!

B: Haha, what’s your background?

A: I can broadcast gymnastics! (Open jump) 12345678, 22345678...

B: (Block) Come on, come on, stop practicing! This isn’t suitable for you

A: Why isn’t it suitable?

B: This is a woman

A: Oh, this is a woman?

B: That’s right!

A: Then...I will change it! Change to a man!

B: What should be changed?

A: ...Oh, by the way, I'll shoot instead!

B: Hey, can you switch to shooting?

A: Of course! I have the foundation for this!

B: Oh, is there a basis for this?

A: Of course!

B: What’s the foundation?

A: A few years ago, I used to use rubber bands to pop mosquitoes! (As if playing a rubber band)

B: Okay, let’s see if he is free!

A: I practice shooting!

B: Shooting and shooting mosquitoes are two different things!

A: What do you mean I can’t practice?

B: I can’t practice!

A: Then I’ll change it again!

B: What should be changed?

A: Oh, by the way, there is a man named Liu Xiang, do you know?

B: I know, the champion of the 110-meter hurdles tied the world record and achieved a zero breakthrough for Chinese men in Olympic track and field.

A: That’s what I’m going to practice!

B: Oh, others practice this and you also practice this?

A: What’s wrong? I have the foundation for this!

B: Oh, is there a basis for this?

A: Yes! My dad would beat me whenever I failed the exam, and I would run away as soon as he hit me. He could never catch up to me. (Proud)

B: Oh, run for your life!

A: What’s wrong? If I keep getting beaten, I won’t practice this anymore!

B: Then what do you practice?

A: I practice boxing!

B: Why?

A: He is strong in resisting beatings!

B: Go to hell! (End)