Cold jokes in class

Sent it to the mailbox! Let's give it 20.

1. Why did Qu Yuan commit suicide on the Dragon Boat Festival? Because he is afraid of the college entrance examination the next day. I can't master math and English in arts and sciences, and I have a little knowledge of the only language, but writing also stipulates that "style is not limited to poetry."

My childhood dream was to be Altman. When I grew up, I became a security captain. In fact, protecting the earth is the same as guarding buildings.

3. One afternoon, when the teacher was giving a lecture, it suddenly became cloudy and windy outside, and the sky suddenly darkened. A gust of wind blew the door open, only to hear a word from the corner of the classroom: Monkey, protect Master quickly, there are monsters! This is not the climax, and the teacher decisively replied: Don't panic! Suddenly the classroom is full of spring. ...

Several students got up late on the day of the exam. They lied that they missed the exam because of a flat tire on the bus. The professor agreed to make-up exams and arrange them in different examination rooms. There is only one question in the test paper: "Which tire is flat?"

My alarm clock is like a cautious question, "I have something to say. I don't know if I should say it?" I was like a person who told him to say nothing, and then after he finished singing his Rinrin Bell, Long Yan went into a rage and shouted, "Somebody, drag him out and chop him up!" Bad king.

Six leaders went to Miluo for inspection, and the local tourism bureau was responsible for reception. Walking down a mountain, the tour guide said to the tour leader, "There is a scenic spot ahead." The leader asked, "What places of interest?" The tour guide said, "It's spring, Quyuan Spring." The leader asked again, "What spring?" The tour guide repeated: "Quyuan Spring." The leader scoffed: "I know pinyin!"

7. Take the tram on the road, with a sister paper in front, and make a phone call while taking the tram. Passing by the sister paper, the voice of the sister paper came from behind: "Oh dear! I won't tell you, I am surpassed! " my God ...

8. A netizen recalled that once a sports meeting was held, he was told not to stay on the lawn of the football field. Two buddies have been sitting there watching the game, and the counselor shouted a few words with a megaphone: Students on the lawn please leave, please leave. They were still indifferent, and the counselor shouted, Look, classmates, what are the two male students doing on the lawn? ……

9. If one day the northeast people say to you, "Come on, come out! Come out for a second! Don't think talking to you is really that simple, this sentence proves that you are going to be beaten ~

10. A martial arts expert went to PK Shaolin Temple, pointed to the four guardians of Shaolin Temple and shouted: Sign up! The four protectors shouted one by one: I am a poor monk! Poor monk Shen Tong! Poor monk Huitong! I am a poor monk! Master nu way: Shit, your abbot doesn't have a good wind. Did you change Shaolin Temple to express delivery? Suddenly, the abbot flashed out from behind, folded his hands and said, "Calm down, benefactor, there is nothing wrong with this matter. The poor monk's dharma number is omnipotent ... "

1 1. The tutor was giving a lecture when suddenly the telephone rang. He took it out and looked at it and said to us, "I don't answer most people's phones, let alone attend classes, but this person's phone is very important to me." I can't help answering. Please forgive me! " Then: "Hello, this is XXX…… ... Oh, you have the wrong number!" " "

12. In fact, the combination of online games to brush monsters originated from China's Journey to the West: Tang Priest was responsible for attracting monsters, the Monkey King was responsible for killing monsters, Guanyin was responsible for adding blood to the air, and Pig Bajie and Friar Sand followed behind to rub the experience value. ...

13. A greedy netizen played chess with an old man in the park, struggled for a long time, and finally lost. The old man said, actually, I knew you would lose. When did you ask? Ever since you took the first step ...

14. It is said that Friar Sand picked the equipment that Wukong used to fight monsters.

15. I am a junior this year. It rained heavily last night. On the way back, I met some seniors. They all seem a little drunk. In the heavy rain, they sang wantonly, some heroic and some melancholy. . . I hope they don't catch a cold!

16. I have a pair of hamsters in my dormitory, who have been feeding melon seeds. Everyone who has owned hamsters knows that hamsters like to eat melon seeds and hide them. One day, I changed my classmates in the cage and threw away all the food for him. After the hamster went in, it kept turning around and couldn't find anything. Finally, he stared at me in confusion. The roommate looked at it piteously and said, "This child is like being stolen ..."

17. A friend went to see the house and called Guanhaige. As a result, he did not see the sea when he arrived. A friend asked the intermediary next to him: What about the sea? The agent replied: The sea is in your heart. Holy shit!

18. A group of crazy roommates are talking nonsense to see who is better! A said: I am staring at who is pregnant! B said: I'll see who miscarried! C said: Who am I staring at? Finally, D said: Hello everyone, I am Jing Jun! \ (╯-╰)/The man is in a terrible moment!

19. I found my confidence in this way: first, I asked myself a question, then I found that I couldn't answer it at all, and then I said to myself, "Good question!"

20. 1, damn it, this is not scientific! I must have opened it in the wrong way! 3. poof! 4. What about the agreed xxx? 5, pure silk! 6, destroy the three views! 7. The festival has lost its place! 8, ask for a table! 9, bunker! 10, properly!