Funny jokes and stories in life

Two-year-old nephew fell off the stool and landed on his butt, holding back his tears very strongly. Sister-in-law pointed to his ass and said, your ass has become two and a half. The little nephew touched it with his hand, and it was really two halves. Wow, he burst into tears. The following is a funny joke story in my life. Let's laugh together!

Funny jokes in life (1) 1. Seeing several stewardesses on TV, the son asked, Dad, what is a stewardess?

I told him: A stewardess is a staff member who serves in the air. ?

Cried the son in surprise. Huh? That cousin must work in a watch shop! ?

My three-year-old daughter went shopping with me. My daughter suddenly hugged me and said, Mom, when I grow up and make money, I'll buy you a car and I'll just buy a bike myself. ?

? Thank you, good girl! ? I am very happy.

? You're welcome. Now buy me some sweets. ?

3. The son of grade one in primary school hates homework. Once, after I coaxed him to finish his homework, I wanted to enlighten him and asked, Do you know who you go to school for every day?

? For you, of course! ? The son answered without hesitation.

? Why? I asked in surprise.

? Don't you always yell at me? Go to school for me? 、? Help me with my homework? Really?

4. I asked my son; ? Tomorrow is grandma's 60th birthday. What gift are you going to give her?

The son said:? I want to send grandma a big bag of salt. ?

I asked:? Why?

The son replied:? Because grandma likes salt, she always says that she eats more salt than me. ?

Funny jokes in life (2) 1. I read novels on my mobile phone whenever I have time. One morning, my daughter said to me: Mom, I had a dream at night, which was terrible. ?

? What did you dream? I looked at my mobile phone and said perfunctory.

The daughter said:? I dreamed that a big monster came at us and tried to eat us, so I pulled you hard and shouted? Run, run? And you said it on your cell phone? Wait, let me finish this paragraph, okay? . ?

My husband peeled an orange and handed it to me. My 10-year-old daughter saw it and said, Dad gave it to me, Dad gave it to me.

Husband said: give it to mom first, she is my wife.

Daughter: I am your closest relative, and you are not related by blood.

My uncle heard from a friend that my cousin's school held a parent-teacher conference. He thought the child didn't say anything, so he went to see it himself in the afternoon.

As a result, it turned out that this Xiong Haizi paid a woman to be a mother! I slapped my son on the spot:? Are you looking for a wife for Lao Tzu?

The teacher is puzzled:? It wasn't you when his father came last time! ?

My wife often goes to school to watch her son play football. She proudly said to her husband, although I don't know football, I think our children should play well. Every time, the opposing players take the initiative to exchange jerseys with him. ?

After listening to her words, the husband became interested and put off entertainment to watch his son play football.

In the evening, he came back from watching the ball and said to his wife, Do you know that only our son in that group of children is wearing a genuine jersey? ?

Funny jokes in life (3) 1, brother:? You must draft everything first, understand?

Brother:? So Mr. Mom invited you! ?

2. Sister:? Do you know the name of Cherry Maruko's sister?

Brother:? I don't know?

Sister:? By the way, it's bigger than a ball. ?

Brother:? Oh, braised lion head?

The standard foodie brother. . .

The migration of African animals is being shown on TV, the commentator said with emotion. 1.5 million wildebeests, 350,000 gazelles and 200,000 zebras began to migrate in the dry season in Africa. This is the largest migration of mammals in the world. ?

As soon as he finished speaking, my cousin replied indignantly: Add up to just over 2 million, how can it be the largest migration?

Sister-in-law asked in surprise: not counting. Who knows.

Cousin slowly replied:? Have you seen the Spring Festival travel rush Peak? ?

4. Dad blames his son: The neighbor is very unhappy now because you hit his son in the eye. You said it was an accident?

The son said:? I want to hit him on the nose. . . ?

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