Tell me two classic jokes.

Once upon a time there was a man who had a girlfriend. He loves her more than anyone in the world. But one day, his girlfriend left him mercilessly without even giving him a reason. Watching his girlfriend go shopping arm in arm, he was in great pain and lost his mind. Finally one day he killed his girlfriend. He was going to kill her and then kill himself. But when I was dying, I felt the value of life. Since then, he has been haunted by nightmares every day. In the dream, his girlfriend was naked, with long hair fluttering, red tongue hanging down and fingers hooked to kill him. Nightmares tormented him like needles, and one day he found a Taoist priest and begged to get rid of him. The Taoist priest asked him to do three things. First, bury your girlfriend's body properly. Second, burn the pajamas that his girlfriend wore before her death. Third, wash away the hidden bloody clothes. Everything must be finished before midnight, or you will be killed! He did everything carefully according to the orders of the Taoist priest, but the bloody clothes were nowhere to be found. It's almost midnight. Beads of sweat dripped from his face and wet the carpet. He found the bloody clothes in the middle of the night, but no matter how he wiped them, he couldn't wash them off. At this time, there was a sudden strong wind, lightning and thunder. The window was shaken from side to side by the strong wind, and the sound of broken glass made people even more jumpy. Suddenly all the lights went out and the whole room was dark. In the lightning, I saw his girlfriend wearing bloody pajamas, with blood dripping from her eyes, pointing at him with a ferocious face and a harsh voice: "Do you know why the blood can't be washed away?" He was too shocked to say a word. His girlfriend continued: "Because you didn't use Diao brand washing powder, you idiot."