There are many interesting things in mental hospitals.

1. A mental patient always walks backwards in the hospital. The doctor asked him, "Why do you walk backwards?"

As he walked backwards, he said, "I walked like this to look different from other patients, so that others would not regard me as a mental patient."

2. Male psychosis: "I have something to tell you."

Female psychosis: "What's the matter?"

Male psychopath (whispering): "You must keep a secret. I am the son of a bodhisattva. "

Female psychosis: "When did I give birth to your son!" " "

3. Two mental patients fought fiercely. A suddenly retreated to the corner and stopped fighting. B: "Why don't you call?"

A: "You think I'm stupid! You are a psycho. It's not illegal for you to kill me. If I kill you, I will go to jail. "

4. A mental patient knocked on the glass of the service desk and asked the nurse, "Is this glass bulletproof?"

Nurse: "This is bulletproof glass."

The mental patient asked again, "Can you prevent bombs?"

Nurse: "I don't think so!"

The mental patient took a pair of kings out of his pocket and threw them on the glass table and said, "Blow!" " "

The nurse was shocked, thought for a long time and said three words: "I can't afford it!" " "

The mental patient turned around with satisfaction. ...

5. In a ward, mental patient A was lying in bed and asked mental patient B, "Love is gone, affection is gone, friendship is gone, and money is gone. Do I really have nothing? "

Psychotic B said impatiently, "Do you still have ..."

Psychiatric armour asks eagerly: "What else do I have?"

Psychotic B said, "You are still sick!"

6. Suddenly it rained heavily, and a group of mental patients rushed into the rain one after another, shouting "Come and take a bath!"

The doctor shook his head with a wry smile and suddenly found a patient standing beside him firmly. He asked him, "Everyone else has gone down to take a bath. Why don't you go? "

I just heard this patient say, "I'm not like them. They are all crazy. I am not. "

The doctor said excitedly, "I finally cured you."

The patient went on to say, "I'll wait until the water is hot ..."

7. A mental patient is writing a letter. After seeing it, the nurse asked him curiously, "Who are you going to write to?"

Patient: "Write it to myself!"

Nurse: "Then what do you write?"

Patient: "You are sick! How do I know I haven't received it yet? "

8. A mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day.

One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?"

The mental patient suddenly jumped up and shouted, "What's wrong with you? Didn't you see it was an empty fish tank? "

9. The doctor asked the patient who came to see the doctor, "Do you feel anything unusual?"

Patient: "I like to eat hot pot."

Doctor: "It's normal. I like it too. "

Patient: "Do you like to eat the lid or the bottom of the pot?"

10, the doctor wanted to see the recovery of mental patients, so he thought of an idea.

He drew a door on the wall and said to the patients, "Come here. Whoever opens this door today can go home."

Hearing this, the mental patient swarmed around the painted door. The doctor was very disappointed. At this time, he found a patient still sitting in his original position and asked, "Why don't you open the door?"

The patient looked at the doctor and told him calmly, "Let him squeeze in! I have the key anyway. "

1 1. An intern asked the dean how to judge that a mental patient has recovered.

The dean said, "Let the mental patient go to the pool, give him a basket and a cup, and let him clean up the water in the pool."

The intern said excitedly, "Can a recovered patient use a cup?"

The dean looked at him with strange eyes: "No way, recovered patients will unplug the swimming pool."