The most classic political joke

A joke is something that makes people laugh. Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. The following are the most classic political jokes I have compiled for you. Welcome to share.

1、

At a meeting in the Soviet Union, the host suddenly said: Now please sit on the left side of the meeting with comrades who think socialism is good and those who think capitalism is good. Most people sit on the left, a few on the right, and only one person is still sitting in the middle.

Moderator: Comrade, do you think socialism is better or capitalism is better?

Answer: I think socialism is good, but my life is like capitalism.

The host said quickly, please sit on the rostrum quickly.

2、

Lenin was dying, so he called his successor Stalin to the Kremlin as soon as possible. Before he died, he had a few words: "To tell the truth, I still have a hidden worry, Stalin."

"Go ahead, dear ilych." Stalin listened attentively.

"So, people will go with you? I don't know if you have thought about it? "

"They will definitely come with me." Stalin emphasized: "I will!"

I hope so. Lenin said, "I'm just worried. What will you do if they don't go with you? "

"Then let them go with you!"

3、

A citizen called Radio Kiev and asked the host, "Is materialism art or science?"

The host said, "I don't know, but I'm definitely not a science student."

"Why?"

"If it is science, they should experiment with dogs."

4、

Su Xiu is militaristic, and the army is in short supply.

The quartermaster, accompanied by a corporal, went to the barracks to check the supplies. They walked near the oil depot and found a cigarette butt on the ground. The quartermaster said discontentedly, "Whose cigarette butt is this?" ! "

The corporal looked around and said happily, "There seems to be no one, Comrade Colonel, pick it up quickly!" " "

5、

Soviet leaders were invited to visit Paris, France. French officials showed him around. He is not interested in the national defense headquarters, the Paris subway, the Arc de Triomphe, the Chinese painting museum, the expressway network and the world-famous TGV express train. When French officials took him to the Eiffel Tower in Paris, he suddenly became interested in it. He asked the French official, "Aha! Is there a population of 9 million in Paris? "

French official: "You are absolutely right."

The leader proudly said, "Haha, I finally found it. It turns out that nine million people in Paris enjoy a bell tower! "

6、

There is a rule in hell. Whoever kills people on earth will be drowned by the blood of the victims.

Once God visited hell and found that the blood only dipped into beria's leg. God was very surprised and asked, "You killed so many people, why did the blood only flow to your legs?"

Beria replied: "Because I stand on the shoulders of the great leader Stalin!"

Beria: Head of Soviet Secret Police

7、

Khrushchev gave speeches everywhere. One day, he went to a madhouse to give a lecture. In advance, the person in charge of the lunatic asylum called the lunatics together and told them, "After Comrade He made a report, everyone applauded warmly." After making the report, Hector really won prolonged applause for a long time, and Hector was very proud. But he suddenly found that one of them didn't applaud, and he immediately flew into a rage. Hector asked, "Why don't you clap?" The man replied, "My madness has been cured."

8、

Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev went out by train. The train went on and stopped suddenly.

Stalin stuck his head out of the window and roared, "Shoot the train driver!" But the car still didn't move.

Then Khrushchev said, "Restore the reputation of train drivers!" The car still hasn't moved.

Brezhnev said, "Comrades, why don't you close the curtains, sit in your seats and shake yourself and pretend that the train is still moving ..."

9、

When the American diplomatic delegation visited the Soviet Union, Su Xiu received officials to accompany them to visit the "great achievements of construction" and proudly said: "By the next five-year plan, every Soviet family can have a private jet!"

The American asked in surprise, "What do they need a plane for?"

Su Xiu official said: "Of course it is useful ... For example, if you hear in Moscow that Leningrad has started to supply bread, you can fly to the queue immediately."

Extension: dating jokes

(1) Whatever.

Man: What shall we eat tonight?

Woman: Whatever.

Man: Let's eat hot pot.

Woman: No, you have to get pimples on your face if you eat hot pot.

M: Then let's eat Sichuan food.

W: I just ate Sichuan food yesterday, and I ate it again today. ...

Man: Shall we go and eat seafood?

Woman: The seafood is not good, so I have loose bowels.

Man: What did you say to eat?

Woman: Whatever.

Anything will do.

Man: So what are we doing now?

W: Anything will do.

M: How about watching a movie? I haven't seen a movie for a long time.

W: What's so good about movies? Stall for time

M: How about bowling and sports?

W: What's your luck on a hot day? Aren't you tired?

Man: Then find a coffee shop and drink some water.

Woman: Drinking coffee affects sleep.

Man: What did you say?

W: Anything will do.

(3) Goodbye

Man: Then let's go home.

Woman: Look at you.

Man: By bus! I will see you off.

W: The bus is dirty and crowded, so forget it.

M: Then take a taxi.

W: It's not cost-effective to walk such a short distance.

Man: Let's go. Let's go for a walk.

W: Why take a walk on an empty stomach?

Man: So what do you want?

Woman: Look at you.

Man: Let's eat first.

Woman: Whatever.

Man: What to eat?

W: Anything will do.

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