Assignment of "Modern Interpersonal Psychology", I beg the master for urgent help. .

Students entering university campuses have just come out of the stressful and arduous high school life and do not have the time or opportunity to go deep into society. Their minds are almost blank when it comes to interpersonal relationships. And college student life requires interaction and communication. How to open up the interpersonal communication situation of college students? The author believes that only by mastering the three steps of college student interaction can we quickly open up the situation and win a good and harmonious interpersonal relationship for ourselves.

The first step is to grasp the principles of successful communication 1. Equality in communication Equality mainly refers to the equality in attitude between both parties. Each of us has our own independent personality, human dignity and legal rights and obligations. The relationship between people is an equal relationship. In the process of communication, if one party is condescending, domineering, giving orders, and bossing around, he will soon be isolated. College students often have strong personalities and refuse to admit defeat to each other. This spirit is worth promoting, but they must not be superior to others and treat others in a different light because of objective differences in origin, family, experience, appearance, etc. among classmates. Persistence The principle of equal communication requires that you value yourself correctly. Don't be arrogant by looking only at your own strengths, nor blindly feel inferior by looking at your own weaknesses. You must respect the self-esteem and feelings of others, and you must not "look at others' choices." 2． Respect others Everyone has their own personal dignity and expects to be respected in all situations. Respect can arouse people's trust, honesty and other emotions, and shorten the psychological distance of communication. Generally speaking, college students have strong self-esteem. Therefore, college students must pay special attention to the principle of respect in interpersonal interactions, not to damage the reputation and personality of others, and to recognize or affirm the abilities and achievements of others. Otherwise, it can easily lead to interpersonal tension and conflict. Adhering to the principle of respect, we must pay attention to respecting classmates in attitude and personality, treat others equally, pay attention to civilized language, treat others politely, do not make prank jokes, do not give classmates random nicknames, and respect the living habits of classmates. 3. Treat people sincerely. Sincerity is the bridge of communication between people. Only by treating each other with sincerity can both parties establish trust and form a deep friendship. Adhering to the principle of sincerity, we must be enthusiastic and caring, sincerely help others without asking for anything in return, and be able to sincerely criticize the shortcomings and shortcomings of our friends. Seek truth from people and facts, be able to speak out about different opinions without duplicity, neither flatter people in person nor slander people behind their backs, and be sincere, honest and open-minded. 4. Mutual Help and Mutual Benefit Interpersonal relationships are based on whether the needs of both parties can be met. If the psychological needs of both parties can be satisfied, the relationship will continue to develop. Therefore, both parties should adhere to the principle of mutual assistance and mutual benefit. Mutual aid means that when one party needs help, the other party should provide help to the other party to the best of its ability. This help can be material or spiritual; it can be mental or physical. To adhere to the principle of mutual assistance and mutual benefit, we must get rid of extreme individualism, be kind to others, and be willing to help others. At the same time, you must be good at asking others for help. When someone helps you overcome difficulties, he will also feel happy, which can also further communicate the emotional communication between the two parties.

? 5. Pay attention to credit? Credit is a partner of success, an intangible capital, and an ancient tradition of the Chinese nation. The principle of credit requires college students to tell the truth in interpersonal interactions, be consistent in what they say, and be resolute in what they do. No matter how difficult it is to do what you promise to do, you must do everything possible and spare no effort to do it. If it is not achieved despite repeated efforts, the reason should be explained sincerely, and there should be no thoughts of "making do" or "dealing with it." Those who keep their word can make true friends and good friends; those who do not keep their word can only make temporary friends or will be abandoned eventually. Adhere to the principle of credit, be sure to arrive on time for appointments, return borrowed items on time, not be suspicious, make promises easily, and make nonsense, so as to make people happy. 6. Tolerance and generosity Misunderstandings and conflicts often occur in interpersonal interactions. College students have strong personalities and close contact with each other, so conflicts will inevitably arise. This requires college students not to be fussy in their interactions, but to be humble, generous, restrained and tolerant, not to care about the other party's attitude or words, and to have the courage to take responsibility for their own actions, so that "the prime minister can hold the boat in his belly." He is noisy, but you are not; he is fierce, but you are not; he is scolding, but you are not scolding. As long as we are broad-minded, people who get angry will feel bored. Tolerance and restraint are not signs of weakness or cowardice.

On the contrary, it is a measured performance, a lubricant for establishing good interpersonal relationships, and can "turn conflicts into friendship" and win more friends. ? The second step is to master the art of interpersonal communication 1. The art of language? "A kind word warms three winters, but a bad word hurts six months." These two sentences tell us that we should pay attention to the art of using language when communicating. If language arts are used well, interpersonal communication can be optimized. On the contrary, if you do not pay attention to the art of language, you will often hurt others unintentionally and create conflicts. ? (1) Address appropriately. Titles reflect the closeness of the psychological relationship between people. Appropriate and decent titles can give people a kind of psychological satisfaction, make the other person feel friendly, and create a good psychological atmosphere for communication; inappropriate titles will often cause the other party to be unhappy or even angry, causing the communication to be hindered or interrupted. Therefore, in the process of communication, the name of the other party should be decided based on the other party's age, identity, occupation and other specific circumstances, the occasion of the relationship, and the closeness of the relationship between the two parties. Address your elders with respect, address your peers with kindness and friendliness, call people with whom you are close by their first names, and use their full names for those you are not familiar with. (2) Be polite when speaking. 1. Use language correctly, express clearly, vividly, accurately, contagiously and logically. Use less dialect and dialect, and avoid blandness, misuse of words, vagueness, dryness and dryness. 2. The pronunciation, intonation, and speaking speed must be appropriate. Corresponding pronunciation, intonation, and speaking speed must be adopted according to the content and occasion of the conversation. 3. When telling jokes, pay attention to the object, occasion, and propriety to avoid telling inappropriate jokes and hurting others' self-esteem. 4. Praise each other appropriately: Everyone wants others to praise their own strengths. If we can discover each other's strengths and praise them, he will be happy to interact with you more. However, praise must be appropriate and have specific content, and must not be flattering. Sincere compliments can often achieve unexpected results. 5. Avoid arguments: Young college students like to argue, but arguments often end in mutual reluctance, blushing, unpleasantness, and even evolve into direct personal attacks or serious hostility. The impact on relationships is clear. Therefore, college students should try to avoid arguments and resolve differences through discussion and negotiation. If the art of language is used well, it can attract and capture the other party, and adapt the content to the form to the other party's psychological needs, knowledge and experience, the relationship between the two parties and the communication occasions, so as to make the communication relationship closer.

? 2. Non-verbal art generally includes eyes, gestures, facial expressions, posture, position, distance, etc. Mastering and applying this art of communication well is indispensable for college students to have good interpersonal communication. "The eyes are the windows to the soul" and "the eyes speak like the mouth." Facial expressions are the external expression of inner emotions, and they can express people's attitudes and emotions. If you are happy and happy, you are happy, and if you are angry, you are angry. Human body movements can also be used to express thoughts during communication. In interpersonal communication, college students can correctly use non-verbal arts and express their thoughts and feelings skillfully according to the content and occasion of the conversation, which can sometimes play the role of "silence is better than sound at this time". However, non-verbal art must be used appropriately and not too frequently or exaggerated to avoid giving people the impression of dancing.

In addition, college students must learn to listen effectively. Interpersonal relations scholars believe that "listening" is an effective magic weapon for maintaining interpersonal relationships. Almost everyone likes those who listen to him, so college students must learn to listen effectively. When communicating, as a listener, you should speak less and listen more, do not interrupt the other party's conversation, it is best not to interrupt, wait for others to finish speaking before expressing your own opinions; try to show interest in listening, and be careful when listening to others. Face the other person squarely and avoid small gestures to prevent the other person from thinking you are impatient; strive to put yourself in the other person's shoes and show concern, understanding and sympathy to the other person; do not argue with the other person easily or make unreasonable comments. ?The third step is to work hard to enhance one's interpersonal charm. ?Interpersonal charm refers to the tendency of individuals to give positive and positive evaluations to others formed in the process of interpersonal communication. Everyone has people they like and are willing to associate with; everyone also has people they hate and are unwilling to associate with these people. This phenomenon actually reflects interpersonal attraction.

So, how do college students enhance their interpersonal attractiveness and become a popular person? ? 1． Trying to make a good first impression? How do you behave to make a good first impression? In his book "How to Win Friends and How to Influence People", the psychologist Carnegie summarized six ways to leave a good first impression: ? (1) Be sincerely interested in others? (2) Smile ? (3) Mention other people’s names more? (4) Be a patient listener and encourage others to talk about themselves? (5) Talk about topics that are in line with others’ interests? (6) Make others feel that they are important in a sincere way 2 ． Improve personal external qualities It is human nature to pursue beauty, appreciate beauty, and create beauty. Beautiful appearance and demeanor can make people feel relaxed and happy, and constitute a spiritual reward psychologically. Therefore, college students should properly modify their appearance, use their strengths and avoid weaknesses, pay attention to choosing clothing styles and colors that suit them on different occasions, and form their own unique temperament and demeanor. At the same time, college students should pay attention to the pursuit of harmony between external beauty and internal beauty, that is, showing off the outside and being smart on the inside. Because as time goes by and the interaction deepens, the role of external beauty will gradually weaken, and the attraction to others will gradually move from the outside to the inside. From appearance and appearance to morality and talent. 3. Cultivate good personality characteristics. Good personality characteristics are attractive to establishing good interpersonal relationships, while bad personality characteristics are hindering the establishment of good interpersonal relationships. In life, everyone is willing to associate with people with good personalities. No one wants to deal with selfish, hypocritical, cunning, rough-tempered, and narrow-minded people. Therefore, we must continue to develop good personality characteristics and pay attention to overcoming character weaknesses. 4. Strengthen communication and close relationships. Psychological research shows that the spatial proximity between people is an important factor in promoting interpersonal attraction, because the closer the spatial position between people, the higher the frequency of interaction and the more likely they are to interact with each other. Helps to understand each other, communicate emotions, and maintain close relationships. Even if the interpersonal relationship between two people is relatively tense, it is possible to gradually eliminate suspicions and misunderstandings through communication. On the contrary, even if the relationship between two people is very good, if they do not interact for a long time and their understanding of each other decreases, their relationship may gradually weaken. College students live together and have close contact, which is a good objective condition for establishing friendship. We should make full use of this condition and maintain a moderate frequency of contact with friends so that interpersonal relationships will not fade or even disappear. It is important to avoid "whenever there is something, there is someone, but when there is nothing, there is no one".