A joke about getting on a plane with your own weapons.

In class, a note came from a children's shoe. When I saw the content, I really wanted to beat him up. It said: Are you there?

A man walked into the library and wanted to borrow a suicide guide. The librarian said, get out! You won't pay it back.

My mother always said that good men are very, very hard to find. According to this logic, the best person in the history of the world is bin Laden.

After so many years of college entrance examination, we shouldn't hold an anniversary celebration. 350 for 400 exams, 30% off for one point, and two experience coupons for three exams!

Whether watching a romantic drama or a youth idol drama, the hero and heroine get married in the end, and TV or movies will have a happy ending. What does this mean? This profoundly shows that once a man and a woman get married, there is no future!

Reasons for being late for work: I had a dream this morning, in which some friends and I were hijacked. When everyone was thinking about how to get out, the alarm clock rang. I got up to get dressed. It suddenly occurred to me that if I slip away, will the rest of my buddies be killed? Brothers are like brothers. I can't leave my brothers, so I lie down and sleep ~

I'm from Jianzhu University. Today, I went to buy a house. Suddenly found that students are planning, development, construction, supervision, decoration. I dare not think about it, your sister, what a lie! It's all a bunch of assault goods that read books before the exam ...

Today, I asked a girl for her phone number, and then she said, "Let me give you my QQ." I said yes, I went back and added her QQ. Her QQ verification message is "What's my phone number"-can you not be so subtle!

The most unjust crossing: Chen Shimei is a real person, honest and honest. After Hu Mengdie, a classmate, was rejected for an official position, he felt vindictive, so he put all the blame on him, such as promotion and wealth, ingratitude and desertion of his wife and children, and put on a drama performance. Finally, Chen Shimei of the Qing Dynasty was captured by Bao Gong of the Song Dynasty.

A: It's raining heavily outside now, and just a flash of lightning struck the ground not far from me (while smoking on the balcony). Is God warning me because I am downloading some Japanese movies? Solve! B: He's reminding you to use thunder. ...

All the worries are about sex: these days, men are worried about private houses, women are worried about breasts, and they are always worried. College students are worried about opening a house, renting a house to work, worrying about hospital wards, worrying about having children, worrying about getting married, worrying about the demolition of ordinary people, worrying about the box office of filmmakers, worrying about the second house of rich people, and worrying about the jail of bad people. ...

By plane, a father and daughter. The father is 30 years old and the daughter is 6 to 7 years old. The stewardess was so beautiful that my father couldn't help taking a look. Daughter: "What are you looking at? Do you find it interesting? Why did you do this when my mother was away? " Father blushed: "eat quickly and cut the crap, or I won't take you out in the future!" " "Daughter murmured," I don't understand, my daughter was my father's lover in a previous life. How did I like you in my last life? "

One day, I took a biology exam, and one of the questions was to guess the name of a bird by looking at its legs. A student really couldn't understand it, so he tore up the paper in a rage and was ready to leave the examination room. The invigilator was very angry and asked him, "What class are you in? What's your name? " A student lifted his trouser leg and said, "Guess!"

Young hot mom took her three-year-old son by bus. Hot mom holds her son in her lap, and her son has his back to hot mom. It was quiet all the way. After a long time, the son suddenly turned his head and asked loudly, "Mom, can I ask you a question?" Hot mom: "Ask." The son said, "What have you been doing with your hand on my penis?" ! I put up with it for a long time! "The whole car hilarious!

The gate of heaven is broken, ready to be rebuilt, and the tender is in progress. The Indian said, it will be done for only 3000 yuan. The reason is that the material cost 1 0,000, the labor cost 1 0,000, and I earn it myself 1. Another German came, and the German said, "I want 6000 yuan. The reason is that the material cost is 2000 yuan, the labor cost is 2000 yuan, and I earn 2000 yuan myself. " Finally, a man from China came, and a man from China said, this one costs 9,000 yuan, 3,000 yuan for you, 3,000 yuan for me and 3,000 yuan for Indians!

A gentleman's QQ is in good condition, which romantically reads: "You pay fifty cents, I pay fifty cents, then we can be together!" " "When everyone was envious, another woman said," If you give me sixty cents, you can earn a dollar and two cents. Then another woman received it: "You give me 70 cents and we can die together." ..."

The man wants to divorce his wife, but he is afraid of hurting his three-year-old daughter. So I coaxed my daughter and said, "Mom is old and not beautiful. Can I change your mother? " The daughter thought for a moment and said, "No! Your mother is so big, why don't you change your mother! "

A man sends a romantic message to his girlfriend: What are you doing? Are you dreaming? Send the dream and put it in my head; Are you laughing? Give me a smile and put it on your mouth; Are you crying? Send tears into my eyes. Girlfriend replied: I'm taking a shit. ...

Undercurrent: Anonymous pretends to be extraordinary and hangs a banner in the dormitory: "China girl today, successful woman tomorrow." As a result, a man hung the same banner in front of his dormitory.