Angela Zhang: I can't forgive those who have hurt me.

0 1 It hurts so much, how dare you forget it easily?

At the "Tucao Conference", Angela Zhang made a speech, which was greatly enjoyed by netizens. This is our heart:

I have experienced many ups and downs, both in my career and in my family. There is a saying: I am grateful to the person who hurts you, because he makes you strong, but I just want to say that injury is injury, and I will become stronger without these injuries.

Without deliberate inspiration, maybe people who are naturally inspirational are like this.

Looking back on the road that Angela Zhang has traveled, we will find that our life is actually not too bad.

/kloc-When he was 0/5 years old, his family was heavily in debt, and he resolutely went out to work at an age when he should not bear the burden of family debt repayment.

At the age of 26, she had to leave her job because of a heart attack. During the treatment, she was framed by her mother for not supporting her. Because of this storm, she encountered great changes in her career, and her popularity fell to a low point, which was countered by various companies. It rained all night, but at this time, I need the support and care of my friends most, but my good friends are cruel to me.

At the age of 36, when she thought she would return to the stage on her own, she was threatened by her relatives. If she refuses to kowtow to her parents, she will ruin her career.

Add insult to injury, add fuel to the fire, and the damage will follow. Angela Zhang's experience tells us that, after all, the knife that others put in his heart must be pulled out by himself, not just through forgiveness.

What does it feel like to be hurt?

Ma Dong said that we will eventually forgive those who have hurt us.

Cai Kangyong said that it was not forgiveness, it was forgetting.

People who have never really felt hurt always tell us to forgive those who have hurt us, let us let go of our resentment and liberate ourselves. Those who have really been hurt will know how unforgettable and unforgivable it is to be completely hurt.

1

Yao Mei, who grew up in a patriarchal environment, was scolded and depressed by her mother because she had no son, and later suffered from depression. After going out once, she never came back. A few years later, her father cancelled her mother's account.

Later, her father married her stepmother, who brought a daughter to the door.

This incident is the beginning of another nightmare in her life.

Her stepmother is stingy and selfish, unwilling to let herself suffer, but can't tolerate their sisters enjoying a little fatherly love.

Because of her existence and her naughty, her father paid less and less attention to her and even ignored her existence.

Stepmother constantly plunders money from her father to support her daughter.

Yaomei feels cold every time she comes home. She needs to ask for instructions when she uses anything at home. If she is not informed in time, she will be attacked by her stepmother and even scolded by her father.

During my college years, I didn't have to spend a penny at home, even if I had money to spend on my half-sister, I didn't care.

But when I came home from childhood, it was no longer my home. I always feel that the diaphragm is extremely uncomfortable and difficult to escape.

Yaomei said, I can't forget the harm my stepmother brought me. She made me see the abomination of human nature, ruined my idea of home, and ruined my whole beautiful memories of youth. I still remember when I was studying, I couldn't face the strange eyes of my neighbors. I'm afraid my classmates will know about our family. I feel extremely inferior, seriously insecure, and live a happy and beautiful life alone.

This kind of injury has no wound, but it hurts for a long time, reminding you that everything is in your throat and your expectations for home have collapsed.

I have to thank her for doing this to me when I grow up. It's a joke. She let me leave home early, lead a rough life, let me grow up so early, and let me have a bad impression on the world so early. Without her, I will grow up happier and be full of kindness to the world.

The damage already exists, and we don't need to whitewash its benefits, trying to use it as our armor to cover up our weaknesses.

2

My husband who has been married for more than 20 years betrayed me. Juanzi knows the news, such as The Critical Strike and The Big Bang Theory.

They were very happy before they knew the news. They have a daughter, and Juanzi's name is written on the RV at home. They discuss work and life planning without reservation.

After the marriage, she fully supported him to develop his career and changed to a leisurely and stable job, which not only took care of the children's life and study, but also concentrated on dealing with family affairs and reassured her husband.

In the rising stage of her husband's career, she couldn't resist the temptation, couldn't control her lower body, violated her original heart and betrayed her feelings for many years.

Made such a big mistake, he didn't admit his mistake, didn't regret it, and didn't change his attitude, thinking that all the men around him were like this. He didn't spend money and trouble on these lovers, just for fun. He always values me the most in his heart. This makes Juanzi seven holes smoke, hysterical with anger.

This is really a joke of a thousand years. You don't have the concept of family responsibility. You repeatedly challenge the moral bottom line and violate the marriage agreement without reservation. There is nothing wrong with you. Your mistake is that you are an animal with a lower body thinking, and you won't regret it, because you are such a scum. Never considered the feelings of your wife and daughter, never gave them respect, and vowed to put family first.

Such a person with no sense of responsibility, conscience and character has destroyed my original lifestyle and interpersonal relationship, seriously dealt a blow to my daughter's emotional and economic security, and made us feel fear and extreme insecurity. Juanzi recalled painfully.

Seeing this, you will know that people who have been hurt are all black and blue, and it takes a long time and energy to heal. Will those young, dedicated and injured people be responsible? No, they not only have no sense of guilt and regret, but even think they are very powerful.

Injury can't be erased by itself. It makes us miserable, our hearts are dying and our beliefs have collapsed. This is a fact that will never be forgotten.

We can't forgive those who have hurt us.

I have heard a saying that there is no difference between emotions and crits.

In other words, when our emotions are hurt, none of us is superior to others. We all cry, feel sad, resent, be manic, and don't suddenly say we don't hate or scold. These are our normal emotional and stress reactions.

I've seen some chicken soup for the soul before to thank those who have hurt you, but now I think it's really nonsense.

What is forgiveness? Forgiveness means admitting your wrong behavior, pretending to forget your own harm, and deceiving yourself to get the so-called liberation.

I just want to ask, is it noble to forgive those who have hurt you? Why disguise yourself as a person without hatred? Is forgiveness really over?

Sorry, I'm not so numb that I have no feelings. Someone stabbed me, but I pulled out my knife and pretended nothing happened. My pain, my injury, I can see it myself. I need to heal, but I don't need to forgive.

In recent years, divorce cases have occurred one after another, and domestic violence incidents have been linked together, which is shocking. What I remember best is a woman accusing her husband of violence against her. Later, her husband knelt down and begged her, telling her that it was not intentional, and she relented and forgave him, so there was endless violence waiting for her.

This is the price of forgiveness. The so-called infidelity and domestic violence are only zero and countless times. Began to forgive for the first time, what you get is not liberation, but endless pain. Because you are admitting that what he did to you is reasonable and you can bear it, so he can trample on your dignity and bottom line unscrupulously.

Yu discriminated against China women in public speeches: Now China has fallen because of the fall of women. Because of this discriminatory view, it has been hotly searched by netizens. Later, he explained in Weibo that he actually reiterated his view that a strong woman, a strong man and a strong country. Finally, he was forced to go to the All-China Women's Federation to apologize to the women in China.

He believes that the depravity of men in today's society is caused by us women, leaving the pot of the rise and fall of the world to women. When you can't stand the pressure of public opinion, you admit your mistake, but I'm sorry, you underestimated the value and dignity of women in China, and we don't accept your apology.

This has also established our position. Since you have caused harm, you should bear your due responsibilities. Don't expect forgiveness, and we won't forgive.

Many people say that if you don't choose to forgive and let go of yourself, you will never get peace.

Excuse me, should I set up a memorial arch for those who have hurt me?

Not forgiving the harm he caused me and self-healing are two concepts, okay?

Forgiving someone who has hurt you is just a growing self-deception, giving the person who has hurt you a chance to hurt you again.

Don't be silly. Forgiveness is a pit. I don't want to jump.

How to face injury

The injury is irreversible, and it can be written off, unforgivable, or it can be regarded as never having happened.

In the face of injury, what we can do is to admit that the injury really happened, which really brought us a lot of pain, became cautious and changed our beautiful life.

Just like in Mr. Love, Gu Yao said to Song, "You are so manly and affectionate. Do you want to take all the responsibilities? " Don't think that you have left home cleanly. What about the seven years of my youth that you delayed? What will you do to make up for this time? You ruined all my fantasies and beauty about marriage. You made me criticized and laughed at by others. You made me lose the most basic trust in people. You make me afraid to love. You have filled me with negative energy now and filled me with hatred for the world. Can you afford it? "

We are afraid of being hurt, because the result of the injury is too cruel to bear to witness. Injured, we still have to bear the burden and dare to face the destruction, otherwise, the injury will erode us like poison, making us lose the determination to stand up again, lose the courage to strut, and leave a disease.

Injury makes us physically and mentally damaged. In the face of chaos, we will habitually choose to forget the pain and try to forgive our mistakes, thinking that we can cure them.

We think that if we hide the pain, hide the sadness, hide the anger, and say an understatement to ourselves, everything will really turn over. But often, the more you can't face the injured fact and yourself, the easier it is to leave the sequelae of trauma. Once there is a little stimulation, it can arouse the shadow of injury in our hearts, and we really can't let go of ourselves.

Therefore, there is really no need to hypnotize yourself, suppress yourself and forgive easily to get rid of harm.

Being unable to forgive those who have hurt us is an attitude towards life, and it doesn't mean holding grudges and taking revenge. It always reminds us to stick to the bottom line and protect ourselves.