Lao Di: Ask girls to listen to jokes that are absolutely hilarious and blushing.

The professor asked: What do rotten radishes and pregnant women have in common? A student replied: it's all caused by bugs. Only get 60 points. Another student got full marks, and the answer was: it was all because he was late.

Dong Zhuo gave a banquet in honor of Lu Bu, Marotta and other confidants, accompanied by the story of Diusim. In order to test everyone's loyalty, Zhuo is famous for painting black breasts. During the dinner, the candle suddenly went out. When we looked again, everyone's hands were black and clean. Zhuosui enjoys cloth, smiles and likes to eat.

Filial piety is the most important of all virtues.

bu xiao you san

I do a good deed every day.

A moon hangs over the capital, and 10,000 washing hammers are beating.

Tip: I don't understand. Have you ever heard of "brothers are like brothers and wives are like clothes"?

Q: Who is the most pitiful person in the world? A: Artillery company cookhouse squad soldiers! Q: Why? A: Take the blame with a green hat on your back and watch others have sex.

A reporter interviewed 100 penguins and asked them what they do all day. The first one said: Eat and sleep to fight peas, and the second one said: Eat and sleep to fight peas. I have been asking 99 of them. When I asked100th, I said: Eat and sleep. The reporter asked: Why not fight peas? Penguin said: I'm fucking peas, your grandmother.

A woman was walking at night when she suddenly saw a man coming towards her with open arms and hugging her. The man fell to the ground crying and said, this is the third piece. It's hard for me to bring a piece of glass home.

The tortoise is an alcoholic. One day, he was drunk. A friend asked, how can you get drunk? The tortoise replied, Alas, the octopus's grandson is going to fight me. Damn, he can't see with so many hands. What a terrible loss!

The two worked hard, the woman always called for bed crazily, and the neighbors knocked at the door to protest! The man said don't make any noise, and the woman answered yes. Then the woman closed her eyes, gritted her teeth and trembled. The man panicked and asked, What's the matter? Woman: Nothing to do, I changed the vibration!

A recruit always lags behind when he gets up. When he is scolded, he buys dyes and puts them on his body, which looks like camouflage. He was the first to rush out of the barracks when the bugle sounded in the middle of the night. The chief praised him: very good! Dress neatly, but next time, pay attention to the Grenade hanging in the back.

A TV hostess was infertile and anxious after several years of marriage. She went to the doctor and complained, "Say I can't. I was pregnant three times when I was unmarried. " Say that my husband can't do it, and our Taiwan Province leaders can't?

An old lady said with tears after watching the black 100-meter race, how scary! Several coal diggers knelt in a row and were shot, but they fired without aiming. The children ran in fear, and the rope couldn't stop them!

A young woman suggested that her son sleep with his grandfather, but she refused. The young woman threatened, if you don't go, I will! The child still won't go. Grandpa said: Educate children to be honest, set an example and keep your word! Deceiving children can't even deceive old people!

Several little boys scraped together a dozen dollars to buy toys, but they were worried: What can a dozen dollars buy? One suggestion: go and buy sanitary napkins. People don't understand. Why? The boy said, I don't know, but TV said that with it, you can climb mountains, water ski, play ball games, skate and be carefree and happy.

Two ladies are complaining about the crowded bus now, which makes them very miserable. One said, "I'm really unlucky!" I was squeezed in the car. " One said, "I'm unlucky!" The car is so crowded that I'm pregnant. "

One day, a monk met a nun and wrote a couplet: the first part: I didn't hang up during the day; The second part: I hung up at night; Part II: I am very free! The first couplet of a nun: daytime hole. The second couplet: the hole is empty at night. Cross: The request (ball) is answered.

Ge You goes to the bathroom.

On one occasion, Ge You invited a friend to dinner and went to the toilet on the way. His trousers were wet when he came back.

Friend: Why are your pants wet?

Ge You: It has been like this ever since I became famous.

Friend: Often?

Ge You: Yes! It is often that the people next to him suddenly turn around and shout, "Isn't this Ge You?"

1. The girl in the office asked me why another girl needed an S-machine for the game she could play. Answer, maybe the graphics card driver is not good. Girls ask for help to download and install the latest version. Answer, what's good for me? The girl said, "I'll let you play for a while at most." After 0.0 1 s, there was no one on the table and chair except the girl ... (I don't know why everyone went underground to look for a pen).

3. Once a female colleague came to me and said, I want to upload it! (My computer is the company responsible for updating and uploading web pages) I said, I don't care if you sleep! She said angrily: I just want to upload, I want, I want, if you don't let me upload today, I will ignore you, hum! Seeing her angry, I had to say: OK! Do you do it yourself or shall I help you? "She replied," please help me! " ....

One day, the school cleaned. A beautiful girl cleans the window. Because the window is higher. So stand on the table. But the glass below can't be wiped off. I was passing by. . The girl shouted "Wipe under me". I feel horrible. Ask where? The girl said, "I'm down here. Please help me clean up." The whole class burst into laughter. . . The girl and I both blushed. . .

I used to make models in groups in school class. I'm the team leader. One day I took the picture and asked a girl in the same group when she could make that part. The girl is probably busy dating and rarely appears in the workshop recently. Two heads spread out and said to me, I want to make it for you, too. I don't have that much time. See if I can make it for you tonight. The two boys next to them put down their papers heavily and rushed out of the factory, covering their mouths. ...

There is a beautiful girl in my department. Once I wanted to take her to do an experiment and made an appointment to do it after work. . . I forgot to surf the Internet in the afternoon, and when I got off work, I suddenly received a text message from a girl: Do you want to do it or not? My face was blank and my heart was pounding. . . Q: What should I do? The girl shouted, do it. Let's go . . I'm in a hurry! After a while, everyone was quiet, and then they laughed wildly. . .

7. During the metalworking internship at the university, the tutor said that boys and girls should cooperate, and XX and XX share a bed (lathe). . (Everyone fainted in ............ When I was doing my homework, the two girls on the bed next to me were really funny, because the boys didn't fix the parts properly, so the girls said loudly and unhappily, please put that cylinder away, I can't fit it here!

8. I took off my coat at work and said that I was cold once and didn't take it off. A girl next to me said, I don't even know you when you put on your clothes. induce perspiration ............

! ""well, what shall we do? " The girl replied, I am considerate of the girl and said, "Please sit (do) for a while. "It was chaotic, but I don't know what happened. I was told afterwards that it had a long aftertaste and thought it was a classic dialogue.

1 1. Once I waited for a girl outside the girls' school, and when I saw her coming out, I hurried to pick her up. The girl said, hey, how did you see me? I said, this is what I practiced. I learned to look at others from the corner of my eye. My girl said, then I also want to learn, I want to learn to look at people with "sidelight" (bladder). I feel dizzy. The girl also said that corner lights and side lights are the same thing. Another time, at a school party, someone gave each audience a light stick to set off the atmosphere. When I sent it to my girl, she said, I don't want this "glow stick". The person who gave the stick was also a girl, blushing badly. My girl later explained that a stick is similar to a stick, and a glow stick is called a glow stick for short.

12。 Arguing with a baby-faced girl, who always talks to me, I blurted out angrily, "Who are you?" "You are my granddaughter," said the little girl, bulging her cheek for a long time. I am your granddaughter's grandmother. "The students around paused, and then laughed. Later, the girl became popular when she saw me.

13. Have a physics experiment class and call up sine waves on the oscilloscope in groups. The wave pattern of one group is almost adjusted, but the boys are still not satisfied. Keep turning the knob. The girls in the same group were anxious and said, it's awkward, my waves are almost deformed.