Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - If someone insists that you ate two bowls of bean jelly

If someone insists that you ate two bowls of bean jelly

A young man, kind, honest and capable, followed his own michel platini and did something to rob the rich and help the poor.

Later, by coincidence, his michel platini got the chance to pretend to be the county magistrate, so he followed michel platini to take office.

Who knows, there was a bully in the county where they went, and they didn't like their arrival very much and tried their best to drive them away.

Bad guys have many bad tricks. They coerced a small common people and slandered that the young man only gave him a bowl of bean jelly, but he ate two bowls of bean jelly.

Young people argue endlessly, but ordinary people are threatened by villains. How dare they tell the truth? They can only say that young people have no conscience after eating two bowls of bean jelly.

In order to prove his innocence, the young man cut open his stomach with a knife and showed everyone how many bowls of bean jelly he had eaten.

Before wielding a knife, the young man gritted his teeth and said, you are a wicked man, aren't you? I am worse than you.

The wicked man succeeded in his trick, but he was afraid that young people would have a chance to survive. Let the young man rip open his intestines sideways and take out several bowls of powder.

Finally, the young man proved his innocence and gave his life.

The wicked man told him bluntly, I know you only ate one bowl, and you were cheated.

The young man died in this way, and he took a young and precious life for his innocence.

If he were alive, he could have studied abroad, learned many skills and done more great things.

But at the moment, he can do nothing but prove his innocence. Because, the fire of his life has been extinguished.

This is a clip from an old movie "Let the Bullets Fly".

This movie, with many metaphors and profound lines, has become the material for many people to talk rationally, and even directly take screenshots to make what they want to say clear.

Zhang Mazi's adopted son Lao Liu had a laparotomy to prove his innocence. The background is a conflict between Pockmarked Zhang and Huang Shilang, the bully of Goose City. Because Pockmarked Zhang pursues fairness, Huang Shirang is greatly embarrassed. In order to crack down on Pockmarked Zhang, Huang Shiluo threatened Sun Shouyi, who sells bean jelly, to slander Liu, saying that he ate two bowls of bean jelly and only gave one bowl of money, which was unfair.

Lao Liu is the son of the county magistrate. It is unfair for him to take the lead. The county magistrate said nothing.

Lao Liu also knows how to bend around, so although he pointed a gun at Sun Shouyi's head, he really didn't dare to be overbearing. In the end, Hu Wanhe and Wu Zhichong can only prove their innocence by laparotomy and be killed by the other party.

Wan Hu swears that if you only eat a bowl of powder, I will die for everyone to see.

As a result, Liu proved his innocence, but Wan Hu didn't intend to keep his promise at all. Wu Zhichong, who shouted to accompany him to death, did not intend to keep his promise. They just plan to kill Lao Liu.

What's there to die of if you have achieved your goal?

Besides, the people who eat melons here dispersed in a hubbub after Liu proved his innocence. It doesn't matter whether he is innocent or not, let alone let Wan Hu and Wu Zhichong keep their promises.

Small fragments, containing profound significance, also gave us an opportunity to ponder, that is:

Others insist that we ate two bowls of bean jelly. What should we do?

Of course, pure blood like Lao Liu is not desirable. We have to find another way to recruit him to deal with this seemingly dangerous intrigue.

In uncle's view, there are almost five ways to deal with this situation. Let's explain them one by one.

The first measure: wai Wei to save Zhao.

The story of saving Zhao by besieging Wei refers to that during the Warring States period, Wei attacked Zhao, surrounded the capital Handan, and Zhao asked Qi for help. Qi forced Wei to withdraw the army that attacked Handan, Zhao, by besieging the girders of Wei's capital, and saved Zhao.

This allusion reflects a kind of reverse thinking.

According to the truth, the capital of Zhao is in an emergency, and Qi should go to Handan to help Zhao clear the way. However, Qi did not follow this routine, but turned around and surrounded the girder of Wei's capital. If attacked by the enemy, there is still salvation, which naturally achieved the goal of clearing the way for Zhao.

When Wan Hu slandered me (here we substituted the role of Lao Liu, using my own name, the same below), I didn't tell him whether I ate a bowl or two, but I grabbed Sun Shouyi and told him directly that Lao Zi was the son of the county magistrate and that you were selling bean jelly. Do you dare to plant Lao Tzu and say, who told you that?

Although a little bullying, but don't be led by the nose by the other side, instead of tangled with a bowl of two bowls, it is better to directly point out the essence of the matter.

In order to "threaten" Sun Shouyi to a greater extent, I can also immediately send someone to arrest Sun Shouyi's family. Now Sun Shouyi's handle is in my hand. What does Huang Can Baiying threaten him with?

The second measure: round up and help.

The original intention of encirclement and suppression of enemy strongholds is to lure the enemy to help, and then take the opportunity to destroy enemy reinforcements.

Here, I can take this tactic and tell Wan Hu directly that you said I ate his bean jelly, and I said I didn't eat it at all, let alone eat two bowls.

Now Wan Hu can't catch me eating two bowls of bean jelly, because the more I deny it, the more he has to prove that I ate bean jelly before he can accuse me of eating two bowls and giving me only one bowl of money.

If Wan Hu wants a witness to prove it, I must ask, did you see me eat it? Should I eat first and then pay, or pay first and then eat? How much did I give? How many bowls of powder did Sun Shouyi give me?

Grasping this point, slowly let the witnesses tell the truth, and slander will naturally be out of the question.

The third measure: the preset position

I borrowed this word from V Gu Ziming, the official account of WeChat.

The general idea is that in the confrontation with the enemy, we should try our best to pull the enemy to the battlefield we set, rather than follow the enemy's ideas. In other words, it was an ambush.

Here, Wan Hu said that I ate two bowls of flour and only gave one bowl of money, which is unfair. This is Wan Hu's default position. If I have been arguing with Wan Hu and I only ate one bowl, it is obvious that there is no chance to fight in Wan Hu's preset position.

At this time, I have to set a position for myself: yes, I ate two bowls of powder, but that's what Sun Shouyi said. If you eat a bowl, there is a bowl. Because I am the son of the county magistrate, you are obviously flattering me.

Now it's Sun Shouyi's turn to defend himself: I didn't curry favor with you, let alone eat a bowl and take a bowl.

Oh? I don't know if you flatter me, but if you don't say you can get a bowl for free, you are lying. Who proved that you didn't say it? I heard you. Otherwise, why should I eat two bowls of powder and give you only one bowl of money? Can't I afford it?

In addition, my father said that the goose market should be fair in the future. As the son of the county magistrate, is it unfair for me to take the lead?

The fourth measure: Trump Dafa

Yes, you are not mistaken, that is Trump, the commander-in-chief of the United States.

Many of Trump's practices have been criticized, but his fighting ideas are very effective: even if I talk nonsense, even if you point out my mistake, I don't care, because I have a brand-new mistake. If you want to find fault, you can run after my ass. Anyway, the closer you chase, the greater my attention.

Do you see it? This is the idea of the grand marshal: attracting attention with one mistake after another.

Because he knew that someone would always find fault with him, he simply kept making mistakes and let others find it. The more he discovers, the higher his attention will be.

As we often say, "rumors open their mouths and rumors break their legs." Making mistakes is also fatal, okay?

The fifth measure: the bottom of the pot.

I stared at Sun Shouyi, staring at his guilty appearance, and laughed loudly: "What a Sun Shouyi, I can't even afford to play a joke with you. You have to make this happen. I did eat two bowls of powder and gave you a bowl of money, but I just wanted to play a trick on you and play a joke on you, but you were so boring that everyone knew about it. Am I shameless? Here, another bowl of powder. Keep it. I won't joke with you next time. "

If the enemy insists on tracking and beating, then recognize a coward and give them a radical solution.

Didn't you say that I ate two bowls of powder and only gave one bowl of money? Yes, I did, but I was only joking. With so much money in my pocket, can I still blame him? He actually alarmed the villagers for a bowl of bean jelly money, so I pretended to see how it developed.

The development of this matter is really amazing. Actually, it has something to do with my father's fairness. Then I won't joke. I apologize and make up the money, okay?

If it's just the bait hides the hook, I already said it. Do you really want to fight with me?

In the plot of the movie, Lao Liu had to do this, and his life could not be saved.

But in real life, if we encounter such a situation, we have at least several countermeasures, each of which can make us get away with it without stupidity.

The five moves are always clear, but in fact, as long as you know one essence, you don't have to learn these moves, just like the nine swords of Dugu.

There are only three words in this trick: shameless!

Yes, as long as you are shameless, you can slander me any way you want. I either admit it, kill it or shut up. I will never be forced to die.

Humble people are invincible, believe it!