Original text of animal jokes. Original text of animal jokes.

1. I rarely laugh at animals. Sometimes I do, but later I always find that I am actually the one laughing, or that I am laughing because of some funny resemblance to the animals. We always laugh standing in front of the monkey cage, but it doesn't feel so funny when we see a caterpillar or a snail.

2. Think about it: this is a real fish, with a spine, gills, and fins, but it "sits" on the edge of the tank like a canary, and it is also like some fish with a sense of place. It looks like an animal with its head facing you, it really doesn’t look like a fish. What's particularly funny is that it also uses its two eyes to look at people. Even birds don't like to stare at things like this.

3. It is because of this special aspect that the owl always appears as a "wise man" in stories. However, the reason why the appearance of this fish made people laugh at that time was because it looked like a human, and it had nothing to do with its own image.

4. For a period of time, I was doing experiments on water ducks, trying to explain a long-standing question in my mind. The question is this: A young goose that has just been hatched from an artificial incubator always recognizes the first creature it encounters as its mother, and follows her wholeheartedly.

5. But the water duck is different. All ducklings raised in artificial incubators are always extremely shy and difficult to approach. Every time they hatch, they quickly run away and hide in nearby ducks. Reluctant to come out of the dark corner. What is the reason for this?

6. I remember once I gave a bunch of teal eggs to a musk duck to hatch. As soon as the ducklings’ feathers dried, they ran away. It took me a lot of effort to catch them. Come back. Once I let a fat white duck from the farm incubate for me, but the little ones happily followed her as if she were their real mother.

7. I guess the key must be the sound of the mother duck, because from the appearance, both the domestic white duck and the musk duck look very different from the real teal.

8. However, the call of the white duck is the same as that of the teal. This is because the domestic ducks on the farm were originally domesticated from wild ducks. During this domestication process, the feathers of the wild ducks changed. The color and body shape have changed drastically, but the name remains the same.

9. From this, I came to a rather clear conclusion: If I want the chick to follow me, I have to imitate the female chick’s cry. "He hung a bell around his neck and made a mooing sound, and the calf thought he was a cow." Bush's poem is the best portrayal of this situation.

10. But in order to explore the truth, I have to endure this test. So, that Sunday, when I took the group of ducklings squatting, crawling, and squawking on the green grass in our garden, and I was secretly proud of their obedience, I suddenly raised my head, But I saw a row of dead white faces lined up on the railing of the garden.

11. These were naturally some tourists from out of town. They were probably stunned by the sight in front of them, because they only saw a big man with a big beard, bending his knees and bending his head. He was crawling on the grass with his waist bent and his head lowered.

12. While peeking back from time to time, I imitated the quacking of ducks loudly - as for those little ducks, those little ducks that make people understand the reason at a glance, but they hide completely without leaving a trace. In the deep grass, how can you tell those tourists to believe their eyes?

13. The memory of the crow is very good. As long as something catches them once, they will never forget it for the rest of their lives. They will also warn each other and attack in groups. I have a lot of crows in my garden, and every time I have to put tin rings on the birds for identification, it takes a lot of trouble.

14. Every time I take the chicks out of the nest, they are inevitably bumped into by the adult crows. After a while, I am surrounded by noisy and angry birds. This pair will be with me in the future. The communication between them is naturally very harmful.

15. How can I prevent them from treating me as an enemy and avoid me as soon as they see me? The answer is simple: makeup. But in disguise? I suddenly remembered the ghost costumes worn every year on December 6th to celebrate the feast of Saint Nicholas and the Devil.

16. The third time I was almost sent to a lunatic asylum, it was all because of my big yellow-crowned parrot "Coco". A few days before Easter that year I spent a considerable sum of money on this beautiful and tame bird. It took several weeks for the poor creature to gradually recover from the mental abuse it had suffered in its long confinement.

17. At first, it didn’t even know that it was no longer bound by the anklets and could move as it pleased; seeing this proud big bird sitting on a branch wanting to fly but not daring to fly, it was really heartbreaking. It makes people feel pitiful. But in the end, when it overcame this psychological barrier, it immediately became lively and energetic, and was reluctant to leave me.

18. We usually lock it in the house to sleep at night. When we let it out in the morning, it always can’t wait to find me. It is very smart. It doesn't take long for it to know where to find me: first it must fly to my bedroom window. If I am not inside, it will go to the pond where the ducks are kept.

19. As long as it is the place where I need to do routine inspection in the morning, it will find it one by one. This pursuit is not without danger for it, because if it cannot find me, it will fly farther and farther, and it has lost its way several times and cannot return home. Therefore, my assistants all know that when I am not at home, they will not let the cocoa out at all.

One weekend in June, I took a train from Vienna back to Attenborough. Because when the weather is good, tourists from other places often come to Attenborough to swim on weekends, so there are many people out of the station with me. I had only taken a few steps when I suddenly saw a big bird flying slowly in the air far away from the ground. It moved very slowly, sometimes fluttering its wings and sometimes gliding.

21. For a moment, I was not sure what kind of bird this was. It would be too heavy to say it was a vulture; it would not be big enough to say it was a stork, and the stork was flying here. At the same height, the neck and legs should still be visible.

22. At this time, it suddenly tilted. The afterglow of the setting sun shone on the bottom of its huge wings, just like the night sky glowing with stars, and I saw that it was a white bird - God! Isn't this cocoa? Its wings move steadily, doesn't it clearly indicate that it is about to fly a long distance?

23. What should I do? Should I call it something? By the way, have you heard the call of the yellow-crowned parrot? If not, just think about the sound of pigs howling when they are killed the old way, and then use a loudspeaker to amplify it several times. If a person exerts all his strength, holds his voice high and screams "oh-ah", although it is not as powerful as a big parrot, it sounds quite similar.

24. I have tried to call it this way before, and every time it comes back to me obediently. But now that it is flying so high, I don’t know if it will obey me, because birds usually I don't like flying straight from top to bottom. Should we call it or not? It was really embarrassing for me at that moment. If I called, it would fly away without paying any attention. How could I explain it to the people next to me?

25. But I still screamed. Everyone around me seemed to have taken root. Coco stretched out her wings and hesitated for a while, then folded her wings and swooped down, landing on my outstretched arm. Thank God, I finally breathed a sigh of relief.

26. Another time, this bird’s mischief scared me. My father, who was already elderly at that time, loved to take naps on the balcony on the southwest side of our house.

27. Although I disapprove of him sleeping in the strong sunshine, he refuses to let anyone change his old habit. One day when he was taking a nap, I suddenly heard him cursing loudly like a soldier on the balcony. I hurried over and saw this old gentleman stooped and staggering over, his hands tightly wrapped around his waist.

28. "Oh my God, are you sick?" "No," he said angrily, "I'm not sick at all. It's just that bastard that fucked me up while I was sleeping." All the buttons on his trousers were bitten off."

29. This parrot was really passionate about my mother. It pursued her passionately: dancing around her in various weird postures, and all of a sudden it was all over her. The beautiful crest opens and closes again; and no matter where she goes, it follows her; if she is not there, it will look for her tirelessly just like when it first came to me.

30. My mother had four younger sisters. One day, my aunts and several familiar old ladies were drinking tea in the corridor of our house. They sat around a large round table. In front of each of them was a plate of fresh strawberries picked from the garden. In the center of the table was a shallow dish of very fine powdered sugar.

31. This parrot, whether intentionally or unintentionally, flew by outside and happened to see my mother hosting a tea party inside. In the blink of an eye, it had already swooped down. Although the door in the corridor is very wide, it is narrower than its outstretched wings. It probably stopped in front of my mother as usual.

32. This time, it was not that simple. When it finally landed on the table, it discovered that it was surrounded by unfamiliar faces. It thought for a moment, and then suddenly jumped up, like a helicopter. The same thing passed across the table and disappeared as soon as I turned around.

33. The powdered sugar in the plate disappeared after it came, but around the table sat seven old ladies covered in powdered sugar, their faces as white as lepers. Like snow, everyone’s eyes are closed so tightly, it’s so “beautiful”!