Key joke

1. In a mental hospital downstairs, there is always an old woman squatting there with an umbrella. Finally one day, a nurse asked her what she was doing. As a result, the old woman said with a dignified face: "Shh, I'm a mushroom. . . "

One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit.

He announced: "children, we can wash the fruit together after picking it, and we can eat it together after washing."

All the children went to pick fruit.

As soon as the assembly time came, all the children got together.

Teacher: "Xiaohua, what do you have?"

Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I picked them."

Teacher: "What about you, Xiaomei?"

Xiaomei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."

Teacher: "The children are great! What about Amin? "

A-Ming: "I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped on shit."

Motorcyclists like to wear clothes backwards, that is, buckle their buttons at the back to keep out the wind.

One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road.

When the police arrived, ...

Policeman A: What a terrible car accident.

Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back.

Officer A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back.

Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push, turn around.

Policeman A: Well, I'm not breathing. ......

4. Pig Bajie was making out with Chang 'e on the moon when suddenly a shadow passed by and Pig Bajie hurriedly carried a rake.

After chasing him out, he came back after a while and said, damn it, Yang Liwei. ......

5. The hospital set up a 100 channel to prevent patients from escaping, but there are still two mental patients who want to escape from the hospital. Work hard at night

Over the wall. Under the 30th wall,

"Are you tired?" ,

"Not tired." So the two continued to turn outwards.

Under the 60th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"Not tired." So the two continued to turn outwards.

Under the 99th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"tired"

"Well, let's go home."

6. You ask the pig freely, and the pig asks, "Guess how many sweets are there in my pocket?" You ask: If you do it right.

Can I have it? The pig said, "You guessed right, I'll give you two." Your mouth is watering.

Q: "Is it three dollars?"

7. One day, in the big forest, the fox was smoking marijuana. At this time, the little rabbit came from a distance and saw all this. He came up and said, Fox, how can you smoke marijuana? This is not good for your health. Look, how fresh the air is. Come and run with me. The fox thought it was right and ran away with the rabbit.

Running and running, they saw the elephant smoking. Rabbit ran to the elephant and said, elephant, elephant, why are you taking drugs? Look how fresh the air is. Come and run with me. Elephants think it's right to run together.

Running, I saw the lion rolled up his sleeves and was about to inject * * *. Little rabbit shouted to the lion from a distance: lion, lion, taking drugs is not good for your health. Look how fresh the air is. Run with me. ...

I saw the lion put down the syringe and rushed over, shooting rabbits crazily. The elephant trembled and said to the lion, why did you hit the rabbit? He doesn't want us to hurt his health!

The lion said angrily: NND dead rabbit, every time he takes drugs, he wants me to run wild in the forest with him, damn it!

1. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road.

The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said it was too hot. I want to take off my clothes.

As a result, he skinned it.

As a result, the banana in the back fell down.

Matches always like to hit the wall with their heads. One day, the match struck too hard. Everyone took it to the hospital, the doctor wrapped it in gauze, and the match became a cotton swab.

3. Once upon a time, there was a steamed bread ~ after eating a meatball ~, it became steamed bread ~ ~

Once upon a time there was a man who looked like an onion and cried when he walked.

Once upon a time, there was a man named kite who flew when he walked on the road ~

Once upon a time, there was a man named Shi who was washed away by the water one day ~

Once upon a time, an egg went to a teahouse to drink tea, but it turned into a tea egg ~

4. A polar bear had nothing to do in the Arctic, so he sat on the ice to pluck his hair ... one ... two ... three ... Finally, the polar bear shook himself and said, "It's so cold ..." Another polar bear saw it and sat on the ice to pluck his hair ... one ... two ... three. ...

When the vampire bats came back covered in blood, they were very envious. They asked him where he got so much blood. He took the bat to a big tree and asked, Do you see that big tree?

Answer: Yes.

It: Shit, I didn't see it.

Household appliances hold a joke contest, stipulating that every appliance should tell a joke, so that every audience at the scene can laugh, otherwise it will be sent to a waste treatment plant. The washing machine was the first one to play. As soon as his joke was finished, the audience laughed and suddenly heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold." So the washing machine was taken to the waste treatment plant. Next is the smartest computer. Just after his joke was finished, all the household appliances laughed and heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold." Therefore, computers have also been brought to waste treatment plants. The third place is the most humorous desk lamp. The desk lamp confidently finished the joke, and everyone rolled on the ground with laughter. The rice cooker said, "It's so cold." Just as the desk lamp was about to be taken to the waste processing plant, the rice cooker stood up angrily and turned to the refrigerator sitting behind him and said, "I'm full." Smile happily, right? Don't open your mouth so wide. It's so cold! "