This year's funny quotations

Wu: Is this your talent show?

A: Yes.

Wu: There is an old saying in China that a woman without talent is virtuous. This is a very virtuous friend!

Dinosaur quilt is a kind of welfare ~ ~

A friend of mine is a hooligan.

I tattooed a turtle shell on my back for fear of being cut. ...

So every time I see him,

I can't help touching his head. . .

Tell a female guest that you are really sitting on the bench naked and methodical when you dance.

Shi Mingde spent 25 years in prison.

He said, see if there are calluses on his hands. ...

Chest out, please!

Ah, no need to stand up without a chest (for Aya)

People's first time, it is in the case of half-pushing. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Great masculinity, "great" is tailored to one of my organ characteristics, and you are older than me. I am longer than you, which means our program is very long.

I hate two kinds of people most in my life. Here! Hey ~ ~ one is racism, the other is black ... . . Include one)

If people are not spicy, unless they are not spicy in the end, they are spicy to the highest point and spicy to the heart. It depends on whether you are hot or I am hot! !

Among them, the hot word can be changed into something else! ! !

A singer who doesn't know the pain of the conquered kingdom.

* * Don't understand extramarital affairs

A catchphrase in Wu Zongxian's early films.

Classic

He said to Aya, "What's the matter with you? Is it because of peeking at boys' shit? ! "

There is a sitcom with a small S, Mulan takes off her clothes to prove her daughter's identity, and then Wu Zongxian shouts .. "Wow! ! What big two thumbtacks! ! "

Our next guest is the pride of China men-let's applaud Mr. Ju Gu Chicken! ~

She is plain, and she is also called a washboard! !

Is there an answer? Say it and give us a smile!

Xx is the winner of the best male singer in the Golden Melody Award Dialect in 1983.

The general audience will applaud and encourage more when they hear this.

Don't you all want to?

Aya is really unprecedented. ) strong!

It is rare for Taiwan Province to save such people, hehe. Looking at dongfeng station today, two people don't know what combination, and they actually regard the North Pole as a country. Po was embarrassed on the spot, even saying that this is a new generation of Taiwan Province people.

People in Taiwan Province Province generally only know six kinds of flags.

the sun is shining brightly

the Five-starred Red Flag

Stars and Stripes

Flag of the United Kingdom. Also known as UNION FLAG.

Gaoyaoqi

And the bagua flag of bonzi

Most people even know the capitals of France, Italy and Germany.

I don't know ~ ~ ~

In the episode where Chen xx was a guest, I guess: she answered many questions (jacky said she was interested in helping her). When other guests complained, he said, Don't be jealous because they are beautiful. There are also ugly ones who have not answered anything. (turns to Liu) Right Aya?

1997 held the Top Ten Idols Awards Ceremony, with Wu Zongxian and Lan Xinmei as the hosts and Wu Jiali as the awarding guest. "Speaking of our Lan Xinmei, it's amazing, but she is the champion of our Taiwan Province province-"

Lan Xinmei secretly happy.

"After the movie-"

When Wu Jiali said he was still single,

"Well, well, I've just been at home recently, and I wonder if I have time to have a cup of tea together-?"

In a topic about public transportation, a guest said that he was touched, but he didn't shout. Brother Xian taught her not to indulge the bad guys, but to learn from Aya. She immediately shouted out (Aya nodded. . ): "That's cool,

That's so cool. . . “-_-b

Trying to sue me for advertising.

When Aya patted her chest to show confidence, Wu Zongxian shouted: Listen, there is an echo ~

How can women get tips when men are not drunk?

How can a man have a chance if a woman is not drunk?

Women and men are not drunk, how can anyone sleep in a hotel?

Being with JACKY for a long time is bound to get pregnant.

AV actress "Is it interesting for men to take off?"

Xian: "Yes, I see the head."

The funny thing about jackyshoe is that when guests talk about keyword, how many can sing:

1.'I heard that taohuajiang is a beauty nest.

2. Sister-in-law's sister-in-law sells jiaozi with thin skin and good stuffing. When a man eats jiaozi, what he eats in his mouth is jiaozi.

I was thinking about my sister-in-law.

3.' foreigner', three meals a day, everyone calls me foreigner, foreigner, foreigner until I eat.

I guess it's 6.29

A female guest has a good figure and big breasts.

Wu told her to stand up: Oh, it seems that someone is staring at me.

Author: BC 2005-7-17 reply to this speech at 08: 50.

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2 ‖ Records of Wu Zongxian's Classic Works

Wu: It's comfortable not to wear underwear, and the people watching it are also comfortable.

Aya: Me neither.

Wu: You are not affected. There is no sagging problem yet.

Wu: "I have that thing wrapped around my waist-it's a belt."

Another time I went, I guess, he told (I forget whether it was Xiao S or Aya) not to help outsiders (referring to Chen)

Xiao Xuan) said "Ah, Xiao Xuan is an outsider" and wuyue said "No, she is my wife". . . I pour ~! !

His mother will be right back after the commercial. . . .

Come on, come on, come on, it's one o'clock!

Difficult to pull can

Is it from the University of Technology? What a familiar basketball court

Please tell me what kind of fruit it is after tasting it.

Wow ~ ~ it ~ ~ is furry.

I guess I still like to see him in size S.

The classic remembers one.

It's a cruel stage

Always play his first song.

burst into laughter

"Party at 8 o'clock on Sunday", with Athena Chu as partner, went to a roadside stall for dinner and shouted to the onlookers: You must keep it a secret and don't tell the paparazzi that I have been with Athena Chu for a long time!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ It's been more than two hours! "This guy always takes advantage of female stars and should learn more from him.

enlist

She's not bad, but she's not as strong as ASOS ~ ~ ~ recording variety shows in Taiwan Province, and she'll never make a fool of herself.

Wu Zongxian: "Xinru, how does it feel to cooperate with mainland actors?"

Ruby Lin: "Very happy!"

Wu Zongxian: "I heard that you and Zhao Wei are sitting next door, kicking each other around?"

Ruby Lin: "We are playing ~ ~ ~ ~".

Wu Zongxian: "Oh, I was playing. Two people are still playing after kicking blood like a column (echoed by Xiao S).

~ ~ ~ ~ But I heard that the swallow has been talking about you recently! ~ ~ ~ ~ (pretend to whisper.

The host ASOS said that he had no chest and published a photo album ~ ~ ~ ~ "

Ruby Lin (crazy wry smile): "You talk too loudly! ! ! ! "

Big S dozen circle field: "Who said that the chest is too small to make an album?"

Wu Zongxian (yelling loudly at S): "You really said it! I knew you took out the photo album! "

Big S (laughs): "I don't have ~ ~"

Laughter continued at the scene, and the atmosphere suddenly rose ~ ~ ~

When interviewing China's baby, he said, "All wet, don't insult my chicken." I fainted at that time.

What part of your body do you like best?

eye

Oh, why?

Because ~ ~ because my eyes are round ~

Ah, have you seen Fang Yan?

I guess the costumes of Wu Lizong Xian and Xiao S are very interesting.

On another occasion, Wu Zongxian and Kangkang said that Xu Huaiyu secretly loved Kangkang only because Xu Huaiyu sang "In a Song".

call out

I call me Kangkang ... "Laugh.

Does it make sense? Brother xian's favorite sentence

He is with Aya now. H and e lead the pull together.

You've already seen him and the big and small S programs. it should be

Remember, I guess there was an episode with Jiao Tong University Fruit MM.

That woman is really stupid. Brother Xian asked him if he had any idols to worship.

Such as artists, it is best to release a solo album.

I can write songs and host programs.

I made a movie, and my skin is black.

Then he began to hint at each other (what he wanted to say was himself)

I don't know the fruit MM said: Xiaohe (Ke Shouliang

Wu and Xiao S performed, (melodious BGM remembers)

Wu (to Xiao S): XXX, look at the bright moon tonight ... (Xiao S looks intoxicated ...)

Wu: "Compendium of Materia Medica" records that "goat's milk acts like diarrhea ..."

People around me. ...

In that AV program: Dr. Huang talked about the difference between pornography and eroticism for about five minutes. After listening to Huang's words, he said:

After the doctor's explanation, I think the audience has a better understanding of pornography and this eroticism, er, a better understanding.

(Audience and Dr. Huang laugh wildly)

I remember Brother Xian said \ "That's because (father has no eldest son) Mulan has no long breasts \" when talking about why Mulan can dress up as a woman instead of her father to join the army.

Once interviewed by MM, MM said that she had seen a performance in Thailand, in which the bottle cap was opened in the most secret place of women. Wu immediately said, "What's the matter? Last time I saw one, a nail was nailed to the ground, and the woman went to pull out ............ She cheated on her and didn't pull it up.

If I lie, Kang will be killed by a car!

Wu: Everyone says GIGI MM doesn't have long legs? ~~~

Everyone: dragon ~ ~ ~

Wu: Are Uncle Kangkang's legs short? ~~~

Everyone: short ~ ~ ~