Sentences acknowledging China's traditional jokes

At the end of the Qing Dynasty, when Zuo was the governor of Liangjiang, there was a junior officer named Wu in the original Xiang Army, who was honest and frank in character and was brave in combat. Zuo recommended him as the magistrate of Huating (now Songjiang, Shanghai). Wu was born in the army and knew nothing about literature and ink. Every county exam, the superior sends out an exam question. In order to keep it secret, he hides the exam question in his boots. On the day of the exam, I forgot where the exam questions were hidden and couldn't find them anywhere. His men said, please remember, sir, maybe you can remember the content of the test. He thought for a moment and said, "I only remember the word' horse'". Because the content of the exam at that time was based on four books, his men rummaged through four books and found several items, such as "As for dogs and horses" and "People smell the sound of horses and chariots". He said that the word "horse" was the first word, so he turned to "horse does not enter". He said that the word was not enough. Later, a servant said, please go to him. It occurred to him that he was hiding in his boots. He is busy finding out the answer. When everyone looked at it, he said, "I don't know if the newcomer is here now." Everyone is afraid to laugh. Later, this matter was reflected in the Governor's Office. Left feel improper of choose and employ persons, wrote a limerick:

How to be a horse when you are a horse is just like crossing a horse in the past.

The tiger is fiercer than the tiger. Why do you recommend him as a pen tip?

So just his county magistrate, returned to the army.

If you write a wrong word, uncle will go to jail.

During the Republic of China, Han Fuju, chairman of Shandong Province, was in charge of military and political affairs. One of his uncles, born in the Qing Dynasty, is unemployed at home. When he came to Jinan, he wanted to find a job to support his family. He readily promised, immediately wrote an order, stamped with his uncle's registration form, and sent it to the Secretary-General for quick handling. The Secretary-General opened it and was shocked. He immediately sent someone to arrest the old man and put him in a military court. More than a month later, Han held a military and political meeting, sat on the rostrum and looked around, asking the Secretary-General, "Why didn't Grandpa XX come to the meeting?" The Secretary-General said, "The old man has not been released from the military court." "Bastard!" Han Fuju was furious: "Who caught the old man?" The secretary-general immediately took out Han's wanted order. When Han saw that it said "Arrest Judge Advocate General", he said confidently, "Didn't I clearly say" Send Judge Advocate General "to make him a secretary? Why did you arrest him? " The Secretary-General whispered: "The word' Pai' is next to the three-point water. What you wrote here is next to holding hands, and it says' Grasp'." Han Fuju glared and said, "Don't use your hands for anything! Go and call the old man to the meeting! " After Han Laotou was released, he heard about it, and his mind was full of birds. He wrote a poem without saying a word:

A document "sent" is "caught", and Xiao Ye left the military law for no reason.

If you stay in Jinan and wait for the "wanted order" to come, you will be afraid.

After writing, I put it on Han Fuju's desk and threw the robe sleeve back to my hometown.

Write another word to expose the ugliness of the enemy.

During the Agrarian Revolution, after the failure of the Nanchang Uprising, He Long went to western Hunan and western Hubei to open up base areas, and held important positions with great momentum. The Kuomintang reactionaries hated him, instigated some newspapers to spread rumors, and often published the news that "He Long was shot alive". On one occasion, a newspaper in Changsha was ordered to publish a "flash" of "gangster He Long was killed yesterday". The newspaper has long been disgusted with this despicable act of spreading rumors and misleading the people, but it has to be published under pressure. When it was published, an editor added the word "you" before the word "Bei" in the book title, and the authorities sent someone to review it. When the headline was "The gangster He Long was killed alive again yesterday", he blew his beard and stared at the bureaucracy. The editor-in-chief said, "This newspaper has been ordered to publish this' news' several times. If we don't add the word' you' this time, people will accuse us of always spreading rumors. What about the newspaper in the future? " The prosecutor is embarrassed to let the newspaper publish. When a joke comes out, everyone is happy. Someone wrote a doggerel in the newspaper:

He Long was shot twice and three times, but He Long seems to be a tumbler.

A beautiful pen adds a word, a lie pokes a hole.

It would be troublesome to write one less word.

During the Anti-Japanese War, the Kuomintang First Theater Command sent a secret telegram to report the situation to Chiang Kai-shek, in which "five armies have been sent to reinforce". Jiang Yuezhi was puzzled, and he began to criticize: "Five armies? The fifth army? " He ordered the return of the original. The leader of a war zone was almost punished and frightened. They are glad that they have not made any major mistakes. Someone in the army wrote a poem to accuse it:

The fifth army. Five armies? Fuzzy module consumes meditation.

Can military planes be a joke? Tens of thousands of people.

Omitting a word, clever machine argument

Emperor Qianlong once wandered around Qingyi Garden and felt very relaxed. During the chat, I learned that the accompanying officials (one of the editors of Sikuquanshu and the editor of Hanlin Academy) wrote a good hand, so I handed Cao my own white paper folding fan and ordered him to write a fan. Cao Xiuxian, known as Qianlong, was a versatile, critical and cunning emperor. He is afraid to write his own poems for fear that negligence may bring disaster. But I had to write it. To be on the safe side, I wrote Li Bai's "Early Making Baidicheng". After writing, Qianlong looked at it and immediately changed his face. He said seriously, "What do you mean by subtracting one word?" Cao took it and was surprised. Sure enough, the word "room" was omitted from the first sentence "Bai Di Cai Yun". I am really more afraid of ghosts, which is a serious crime of deceiving the monarch. Anxious, I suddenly had a brainwave and said with a smile, "Li Taibai's Early Interpretation of Baidicheng is widely circulated, and so is its author, and it has long lost its fresh interest. To this end, I dare to rewrite it into a lively little word to please the holy mind. Is it very interesting? " Then, clear voice shouted, "Farewell to Bai Di, colorful clouds, Jiangling also one day. Apes on both sides of the Taiwan Strait crow, and they crossed Chung Shan Man without canoeing. "

After listening to it, Ganlong was really fresh and unique, and praised it greatly.

Write a different word and lose your reputation.

During the reign of Renzong in the Northern Song Dynasty, there was a scholar, Zhao Xu, whose article was outstanding in an imperial examination, ranking first. When he entered the palace for an exam, Emperor Injong took a fancy to it, but at first glance, his handwriting was very irregular, and the word "Wei" was written next to the word "mouth" with a triangle. Renzong said, "Your article is splendid, but it is not correct to write a triangle next to the word' micro'." I don't want this Zhao Xu to feel good about himself and get carried away. He replied loudly: "Mouth and mouth can be universal in calligraphy." Song Renzong was furious and wrote the words "Go to Kyrgyzstan, Lutai, make peace privately, and judge the hook" with a brush. He threw it at him and said, "Since your words are universal, you should distinguish them one by one." This is Zhao Xu dumbfounded, tongue-tied unable to answer. Injong immediately decided not to accept it and ordered him to go home and study Chinese again to see what would happen in the future. The crazy student lost the first place because of an irregular word. At that time, someone wrote a poem to mock it:

Ten years of cold window, ten years of bitterness, once you enter the official career.

Just for one more word, take off your fame and read it again.

Inverting words to reduce crime and punishment.

At the end of the Qing Dynasty, there was a rich boy in a certain place in Shandong, who was not doing his job properly and was bullying in the village. Once, an old man was trampled to death by a galloping horse in a downtown area, and was immediately turned over to the government by all the people and put on death row. His parents spent a lot of money to ask a strict official to help him alleviate his pain. When the knife and pen officer looked up the case file, he saw that there was a sentence "horse racing killed people", so he turned the word "horse racing" into "horse racing killed people". In this way, the crime was not intentional, and it can be exempted from punishment or death penalty. He also instigated his family to bribe the magistrate. After several efforts, he was sentenced to heavy compensation, apologized and admitted his mistake, and was released by education. In order to hide people's eyes and ears, the magistrate of a county wrote a grandiose verdict with a stroke of a pen:

A bad horse is out of control and difficult to control, but it is not the horse that hurts people.

After paying a heavy burial, the two families quarreled endlessly.

A death penalty case was turned upside down under the conspiracy of word games and bribery.