Teasing classical Chinese

A new story about the world, Xie Taifu's cold and snowy day, tells the meaning of the paper with his children.

suddenly, it snowed suddenly, and Gong said happily, "What are all the snows like? "Brother Hu Er said," Sprinkling salt in the air is a bad idea. "Brother and daughter said," If catkins are not due to the wind.

"laughter. Compare the catkins in spring to the snow in winter ... If you were a girl, you would have to take a nap today, if you hadn't left me to fuck you, you would have no less than two or three sentences.

angry people, those who take a nap, are not limited to me, so why talk about it? What's more, I haven't lost my mind yet, and I'm wronged. What can you do? If you really have the ability, why are more than half of the students lying on the case? There are six out of ten people who hate you. Are you good? Its number can be seen.

Let bygones be bygones, but today's events are hateful and make me angry. Mother's, sincere, and mother's non-joy.

A man who stole meat went to Beijing to sell meat, stopped at a roadside toilet to relieve himself and hung the meat outside. Seeing this, a second man stole the meat.

Before he could go far, A walked out of the toilet, grabbed B and asked B if he had seen someone take his meat from the toilet. Fearing that A would see through, B put the meat in his mouth early and said impatiently, "You are such an idiot! How can you hang the meat outside the door without losing it? If I hold the meat in my mouth like me, is there any reason to lose it? " -Wei Han Yuchun's "Laughing Forest" name game Xu Zhicai, the king of Xiyang in the Northern Qi Dynasty, is very eloquent, especially good at word games.

before he was crowned king, he tried to play tricks with Wang Yuanjing, a senior minister. Wang Yuanjing laughed at Xu Zhicai's name and said, "Your name is Zhicai. What's the point? In my opinion, it is almost the same to call it' lack of talent'. "

Xu Zhicai was not annoyed or angry when he heard this. He immediately mocked Wang Yuanjing's surname: "The word' Wang' was added to the left with the words' ㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡ𞭑𞭑𞭑𞭑𞭑𞭑ㄡ12 "Wang Yuanjing listened to, tongue-tied, embarrassed.

On another occasion, Xu Zhicai hosted a banquet for guests, and Lu Yuanming was also present. During the dinner, Lu Yuanming teased Xu Zhicai's surname and said, "The word' Xu' means not entering the people (the word' Wei' is added with' Yu' and' Jin')."

Xu Zhicai immediately mocked Yuan Ming's surname-the word "Lu": "The word" Lu "means" An "is a male" Lu "(Lu)", and "Ma" is a "donkey" (donkey). "Speak out Lu Yuanming flushed, speechless, full of people laughing their heads off.

—— The old title Sui Hou Bai's "Qi Yan Lu" Bird's Nest and the calf Hou Bai later became officials in the Tang Dynasty, and often riddled with people. Hou Bai first made three rules for everyone: "The guessed thing must be a visible object; Second, you can't make an empty explanation and confuse everyone; Third, if the explanation is finished, but you can't see this thing, you should be punished. " Then he made a riddle first: "The back is as big as the house, the belly is as big as the pillow (the crossbar behind the car), and the mouth is as big as the cup."

everyone guessed for a long time, but no one guessed correctly. They all said, "Where in the world is an object with a mouth as big as a cup but a back as big as a house? There is no such thing, you must make a bet with all of us. " Hou Bai finished gambling with everyone and explained, "This is the swallow's nest."

everyone burst into laughter. On another occasion, Hou Bai attended a large banquet.

During the dinner, everyone asked him to make a riddle. What you guess can neither be strange and difficult to know, nor abstract and untrue.

Hou Bai replied, "Something is as big as a dog and looks like an ox. What is this? " Everyone kept guessing, some said it was a roe deer, others said it was a deer, but they were all denied.

Let Hou Bai tell the answer. Hou Bai laughed and said, "This is a calf."

—— The old title Sui Hou Bai's "Qi Yan Lu" He Zhizhang Begged for the Name of Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty. In the early years of Tianbao, He Zhizhang, a secretary supervisor with a well-known literary title, wrote to the court and wanted to retire to his hometown of Wuzhong. Li Longji, Xuanzong, respected him very much and treated everything differently from others.

When He Zhizhang left, he said goodbye to Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty, and he couldn't help crying. Tang Xuanzong asked him if he had any other requirements.

Zhizhang said, "I know Zhangzhang has a son who has not been named yet. If your majesty gives him a name, it will be an honor for me to return home." Xuanzong said: "Faith is the core of the Tao. Those who are blessed have faith.

The son of Qing should be named Fu. " Know the chapter and thank humbly.

after a long time, I didn't realize it, so I thought to myself, "The emperor is making fun of me too much. I'm from Wu, and the word' fu' is the word' claw' followed by the word' zi'.

He named my son Fu, didn't he call my son's paw? " -Song Gao Yi's "Living in a Group" I don't know what poetry is. Ai Zi likes to write poetry. One day, Ai Zi swam between Qi and Wei and stayed in a hotel.

at night, he heard someone in the next room say, "A song." After a while, he said, "Another song."

Aiko is puzzling, sleepy and sleepless all night. Lying until dawn, * * * heard the man in the next room say about six or seven times, that is, six or seven songs.

Aizi thought that the man in the next room must be a poet. He was absorbed in poetry in quiet Yamashita, and he felt respect in his heart. He also loved that man's quick thinking, so he decided to get to know him. Early in the morning, Ai Zi put on clothes and got out of bed, adjusted her crown belt and stood at the door to greet her.

in a short time, a peddler-like man came out of the next room, thin and ill-looking. Ai Zi was very disappointed and thought: With this respect, how can he look like a poet? Perhaps, people can't judge by appearances and can't guess blindly.

He went up to him and asked, "I heard that Mr. Wang has a lot of poems. Can I have a look at them?" The man said, "I am a businessman, and I never know what poetry is."

always refuses to take out a poem. Ai Zi stubbornly said, "I heard you say' one' in the house last night, and then said' one' later. Isn't that a poem?" Hearing this, the man couldn't help laughing: "You misunderstood.

I had a bad stomach last night. Every time I had diarrhea, I couldn't find toilet paper at night, so I wiped it with my hands. Diarrhea lasted for one night, and I stained my hands almost six or seven times.

when I say' hand', I don't mean the first poem. " Ai Zi felt ashamed when she heard this.

Su Dongpo, the word game of Song Su Shi's Essays on Ai Zi, heard that Wang Jinggong's Essays on Words had just been finished, and went to Jing Gong's office to congratulate him and joked: "In the masterpiece, it is said that' bamboo' whips' horses' as' Benedict'. But I still have a question: "I don't know what's there to laugh at if I whip the dog with bamboo?" Jing Gong laughed and didn't answer, but asked, "Is there any evidence that the word' dove' is changed from' bird' with' nine'?" Dongpo immediately replied: "The Book of Songs says:' The dead dove is in the mulberry, and her son is seven', plus their parents, it happens to be nine." 2. Classical Chinese translation of elegant banter

Elegant banter by Ming Fubaizhai

1. Wolf outside the garden

Shi Zhongli, a minister of Song Dynasty, was humorous. When he was a foreign minister in his early years, he once went to the emperor's imperial garden with his colleagues to watch lions. One of my colleagues said inexplicably, "The imperial court feeds it with five catties of meat every day, but our salary is not as good as this lion." Shi Zhongli smiled and said, "Of course. We people are just wolves (wolves) outside the garden. How dare we compare with the lions in the garden? " Hearing this, everyone couldn't help laughing.

2. Mourning jokes

There was a young man whose father died, but he was not sad. A man named Yang Nanfeng made a wide hat and put it on to mourn. When worshipping, the hat fell off and rolled under the seat. Yang Nanfeng put his head in, put it in, and got up again, which attracted young people to laugh in the curtain. The young man was branded as unfilial.

3. In case Su Shi leaves his partner

and goes to a neighboring house for a drink, there are four yellowbirds on the plate. A man ate three in succession, leaving only one to give way to Su Shi. Su Shi said with a smile, "Please eat again, so that the yellowbird will not be separated."

4. Du Tong feared his wife.

Wang Duo, the official in the Tang Dynasty, was very afraid of his wife. At that time, when Huang Chao was rebelling, it was close to the capital. The court asked Wang Duo to be a commander-in-chief and guard the palaces. When he left Beijing, he only took concubines and left his wife in the capital. One day, my subordinates suddenly came to report: "Madam was halfway before she left Beijing." When Wang Duo heard the newspaper, he was very frightened. He said to his subordinates, "Huang Chao soldiers are gradually coming to the south, and your wife is coming from the north in a rage. She will arrive any day. What can we do?" The staff joked: "It is better to surrender to Huang Chao." Wang Duo also laughed.

5. There is no eye in the back

An official named Chen Yin entered the DPRK, put on his official hat backwards, and the crown tassel turned to the back. He saw his colleagues' tassels drooping, looked down at his chin, and couldn't see them. He was shocked and said, "Why don't I have a tassel?" A man next to him tugged at his crown tassel and straightened his hat for him, saying, "You have your own tassel, but you can't see it behind your back."

6. Sacrifice Zhenwu

Jia Sidao, a traitor in the Southern Song Dynasty, gave a banquet to treat him. The chef made a turtle, but a guest didn't eat it. He also said, "I worship Zhenwu Jun, the god of the north. This turtle is very similar to the turtle in Zhenwu Jun's case, so I don't eat it." There was sugar cane on the table, and another guest said he wouldn't eat it. Jia Sidao asked him why, and he said, "I also worship Zhenwu Jun. Isn't sugarcane like the flag pole in front of Zhenwu?" People listened and burst into laughter.

7. Aunt

Xue Jiansu has three daughters, the eldest daughter is married to Ouyang Xiu, and the second daughter is married to Wang Gongchen. Later, Ouyang Xiu lost his wife and married Xue Gong's third daughter, so Wang Gongchen joked with him: "The old son-in-law is a new son-in-law, and the big uncle is a little uncle." Just as Liu Yuan's father remarried in his later years, Ouyang Xiu used the legend that Liu Chen and Ruan Zhao entered Tiantai Mountain in the Han Dynasty to collect medicine and get a fairy, and made a poem to ridicule Liu Yuan's father, saying: The fairy family is a thousand years old, but the floating world is empty and the sun and the moon are busy. Peach blossoms in the cave don't smile, and Liu Lang is old Liu Lang today. Liu Yuanfu was not happy when he heard this, so he sought revenge on Ouyang Xiu. One day, Liu Yuanfu, Wang Gongchen and Ouyang Xiu met. The former father said, "Once upon a time, there was an old pedant who taught children to study. When reciting the sentence" Mao Shi "to" give a snake a commission ",he told the pupils," This snake word should be pronounced aunt, remember. " The next day, primary school students watched beggars playing snakes on the road and arrived at school very late. The pedant asked,' Why are you late?' The pupil said,' Just now, on the road, I met someone with an aunt (snake), so I watched it with everyone. I saw that he first got his aunt (snake) and then his aunt (snake), so he delayed going to school. " "Ouyang Xiu listened to, can't help laughing.

8. The emperor was still afraid

The wife of Fang Xuanling, a minister of the Tang Dynasty, was jealous and fierce, and Fang Xuanling was so afraid of her that she dared not marry a concubine. Emperor Taizong asked the queen to summon Mrs. Fang and told her that there was a custom for imperial ministers to marry concubines, and the emperor would give them to Fang Xuanling beauties. Hearing this, Mrs. Fang insisted on refusing. The emperor made people pour a glass of wine and lied that it was poisoned wine, which was used to scare Mrs. Fang and said, "If you persist in refusing again, it will be a violation of the imperial edict, and those who resist it should drink poisoned wine to death!" Mrs. Fang did not hesitate to take the wine and gulp it down. When Emperor Taizong saw this, he sighed, "I am still afraid of this lady, let alone Fang Xuanling!"

9, the dog's eyes are sick

The dog's eyes are sick, so he should go out and see a doctor. When I left home, it happened that my dog was lying on the steps. The pedant stepped over the dog and accidentally stepped on the dog's neck. The dog jumped up in pain and bit the pedant's clothes. When Yu Gong came to see an eye disease, he talked about the dog biting him and showed his clothes to the doctor. The doctor and Yu Gong are old acquaintances, so he teased him and said, "This must be because the dog's eyes are sick, otherwise why did you bite the owner's clothes?" After hearing this, Yu Gong nodded again and again, took the medicine prescribed by the doctor for his eye disease and went home. The pedant thought: it's still a trivial matter for a dog to bite its master, but it's absolutely impossible for a dog to be sick and can't look after the house at night. So, he fried the medicine prescribed by the doctor and gave it to the dog first, and he only drank the rest of the medicine soup.

1. You've been talking for years

Once, Yu Gong was drunk and vomited all over the floor when he passed by the door of Lu's political representative's house. The janitor of the Lujia family came over and scolded: "How dare you get drunk and spit in front of my house!" Yu Gong raised a pair of drunken eyes and squinted at the doorman contemptuously, saying, "It's your door that didn't cover the right place and actually faced my mouth!" " The doorman thought the drunkard's speech was very interesting, so he retorted with a smile: "The door of my house has been built for a long time. Was it built in front of your mouth today?" Yu Gong pointed to his mouth and said, "Lao Zi's mouth has been around for some years!" 3. Humorous and short classical Chinese

boasting about money

Original text

When a person gets lost and meets a mute, he doesn't answer the question, but he will only show his money by making money with his hands. This person is metaphorical, that is, counting money with it. The dumb man opened his mouth to point out the way, and the man asked, "Why don't you have the money to pretend to be dumb?" Dumb: "In today's world, if you have money, you will talk!"

Translation

A lost man met a "dumb" who asked but didn't answer. The "dumb" only gestured with his hand to give money before giving directions. The lost man understood the meaning and immediately took out a few dollars and gave it to the "dumb". "Dumb" then opened his mouth to point out the way, and the lost man asked, "Why pretend to be dumb?" "Dumb" said: "In today's world, if you have money, you can talk."

It's taken from "The Wide Story of Laughing Forest", which was collected by the owners of signature games in the Qing Dynasty and mostly taken from jokes in the Ming and Qing Dynasties. 4. Classical Chinese that shows the humorous quality of the ancients

Stealing meat A man went to Beijing to sell meat, stopped to relieve himself in front of a roadside toilet and hung the meat outside.

When a certain person sees this, he steals the meat. Before he could go far, A walked out of the toilet, grabbed B and asked B if he had seen someone take his meat from the toilet.

Afraid that A saw through it, B put the meat in his mouth and said impatiently, "You are such an idiot! How can you hang the meat outside the door without losing it? If I hold the meat in my mouth like me, is there any reason to lose it? " -Wei Han Yuchun's "Laughing Forest" name game Xu Zhicai, the king of Xiyang in the Northern Qi Dynasty, is very eloquent, especially good at word games. When he was not a king, he tried to play with Wang Yuanjing, a senior minister.

Wang Yuanjing laughed at Xu Zhicai's name and said, "Your name is Zhicai. What's the point? In my opinion, it is almost the same to call it' lack of talent'. " When Xu Zhicai heard this, he immediately mocked Wang Yuanjing's surname: "The word' Wang' is added to the left with the words' ㄡ匉匉匉 匉 匉 匉 匉 匉 匉 匉 匉 匉 匉 匉 匉 匉 匉 匉 "

Wang Yuanjing was tongue-tied and embarrassed. On another occasion, Xu Zhicai entertained guests, and Lu Yuanming was also present.

During the dinner, Lu Yuanming teased Xu Zhicai's surname and said, "The word' Xu' means' not entering the people' (the word' not' is added with' Yan' and' entering')." Xu Zhicai immediately mocked Yuan Ming's surname-the word "Lu": "The word" Lu "means" An "printed a male into a" Lu "(Lu)" and matched it with a "horse" into a "donkey" (donkey). "

Lu Yuanming was red-faced and speechless, and the house was full of laughter. -The old topic Sui Hou Bai's "Qi Yan Lu" Bird's Nest and Calf Hou Bai later became an official of the Tang Dynasty and often talked with people.