Joke card issuance

A patient went to see a doctor for the first time.

"Did you consult anyone about your illness before you came here?" The doctor asked.

"Just ask the owner of the drugstore around the corner," the patient replied.

Doctors hate that people who are not doctors often give medical advice. He made no secret of this: "What bad idea did that fool give you?"

"He asked me to come to you."

One day, I praised a classmate in my class and said that he used it well. Almost everyone used "green" in the next composition: "There is a pot of green flowers in the corner of the classroom", "Dad picked up a green jade glass" and "She wore a green skirt, which is really green" ... A boy even wrote: "My nose is green ..."

I also have some other writers under my banner. A very quiet girl wrote in the most unforgettable event: "My memory is a beautiful wooden box. Open it and see that there are many pearls in it. Every pearl is a memory of my childhood. " Then she wrote a story about how she tortured two chickens to death when she was a child at her grandmother's house in the country. Then: "For many years, every time I look back, there will still be a knowing smile on my face. I think this is the biggest and brightest of those pearls. "

Another boy wrote about a dog he kept. The dog will die after eating rat poison. When he arrived, "I saw the puppy lying on the ground twitching and looking at me with dull eyes, as if to say,' Little master, I'm leaving. You should study hard for me! I will bless you in the spirit of heaven and get a hundred points every time! ”"

Another student's composition made me afraid to give marks. A 400-word article has nothing to do with each sentence. For example, the first sentence says that an uncle sells soybean milk in the street every morning, the second sentence says that many people row boats in the park, and the third sentence can write that the moon is like an egg yolk. So what I think seems to be dozens of sentences put together, and its thinking has made a great leap. I'm afraid no one can compare with China today. I don't allow myself to accidentally kill the seeds of postmodernism or stream-of-consciousness masters in the cradle, so I gave it a "good" carefully.

There is also an essay called "picky eaters", which reads as follows: "If you don't like vegetables, you will be short of vitamins. If you don't like meat, you will be yellow and emaciated. If you don't like rice, you are a northerner. If you don't like noodles, you will be bored. If you don't like chicken legs, you can't run. Don't comb your hair if you don't like chicken wings. If you don't like eggs, you are stupid. If you don't like milk, you won't grow tall. If you don't like smoking, your wife must be very nice. If you don't like drinking, you must be a small drinker. If you don't like tonics, you may have no money. If you don't like eating wild animals, you are an environmentalist. Picky food has many disadvantages. If you don't like anything, compare it with the previous paragraph. "

I have compared it for a long time and found that I am an environmentalist who is sallow and emaciated, can't run, has no money and has a powerful wife.

In fact, my favorite is Tomb Sweeping, and I was conquered by the author's innate sense of humor. After a long time, I can recite many jokes: Tomb-Sweeping Day came to China once a year, and we can finally go to the Martyrs Cemetery for a spring outing. On the morning of April 5, the "golden" sun shone on the earth, and several white clouds floated in the "blue" sky, and birds sang in our ears. Ding Hailong and I carried a pack of "delicious food" and followed the school team to sweep the graves in the suburbs. When I got there, "there are so many people." At ordinary times, "no one came at all", but farmers and vendors around today ran out to "set up stalls". Ding Hailong and I saw that some sell socks, some sell cards, some sell food and drinks, and some sell pirated books at half price. Ding Hailong and I "wandered around for a while" in the cemetery. We felt it was too crowded, so we came out to wait for the teacher. "Idle is idle", so we each ate a pot of cold rice noodles. "A pot of cold rice noodles" has a large appetite, but there are more children in my class. Eat three tons a day: one ton for breakfast, one ton for lunch and one ton for dinner. I suspected that he was in the Guinness Book of World Records, but when I saw another girl's diary, I knew it was too early to draw a conclusion. There was also a strong hand in the middle-"There are many people around our house who have dogs and have no sense of public morality." I just came out from home this morning, and I was shocked to see some wild dog taking a shit at the door. “hoho………!