Jokes and stories to make girls happy

A collection of jokes and stories to make girls happy

When I hear other people telling jokes, I don’t think they are very funny, and I feel cold and cold, but when I read them myself, I laugh. No, have you ever had such an experience? The following jokes and stories to make girls happy, I hope it will make you laugh non-stop.

Jokes and stories to make girls happy 1

The head and tail are out

Xiaoqiang just learned to look up a dictionary. One day, he wanted to look up a " Starting from the word ", I searched for a long time and found only the word "田". Xiaoqiang became angry:

"Why are you so shy and afraid to come out!" After a while, Xiaoqiang turned to the word "A" " word, now Xiao Qiang was happy: "So you are afraid of me, so you dare not show your head, so you stretched out your tail!"

After a while, the smart Xiao Qiang saw the word "Shen" again and clapped his hands loudly. He smiled and said: "Haha, now the head and tail are sticking out!"

Playing the piano

Mom: Dadai, wash your hands before you can play the piano! Dadai: It doesn't matter, I just want to play the piano. Just play the black keys!

Professional counterpart

The manager said to the boss: "Jeans is a hopeless guy! He has been napping all day long and I have changed him. Three work departments, but he still doesn’t change his bad habits:”

“Let him sell pajamas. Hang a billboard on him: high-quality pajamas,” the boss said.

Insight: There are no useless people in the workplace, only people who use them in the wrong place. Jokes and Stories to Make Girls Happy 2

Sleeping Pills

The haggard-looking patient said to the doctor: “The wild dog outside my window keeps barking all night long, and I’m going crazy! "The doctor prescribed sleeping pills for him. A week later, the patient came back, looking even more tired than last time.

The doctor asked: "Are sleeping pills ineffective?" The patient said listlessly: "I chase those dogs every night, but even if I finally catch one, it refuses to take sleeping pills."

Enlightenment: Any failure to trace the source will lead to the wrong direction.

Children's Talk

On the plane, the stewardess asked a little girl: "Why does the plane fly so high without hitting the stars?"

The little girl replied: "I know, because the stars can 'flash'..."

Piano Teeth

"Mom, do you know whose teeth are black at the root?" , and the teeth are white?"

"I don't know, Nadya. Can you tell me about it?"

"Jokes to make girls happy 3.

The euphemistic math teacher

After the final exam, the math teacher said before handing out the transcripts: "There are as many students in our class who scored 90 or above in this exam as there were students who scored above 80." , a score of 80 or above is as much as a score of 70 or above." As soon as he finished speaking, he heard the cheers of the whole class. However, a classmate asked: "So...how many people failed?"

The teacher then slowly said: "The number of people who failed is as many as the whole class."

Brother, you are awesome

In junior high school, when the end of the term was approaching, there was a lot of homework at night, and the students didn’t get enough sleep. The next day, the students in the last row all fell asleep on the table. The teacher, I didn't notice it, but the head teacher saw it, kicked the door open, and yelled, and everyone in the back row came out. There was a guy who was sleeping so hard that he didn't wake up. The head teacher personally came up to him and woke him up. He said, At the same table, the teacher came and asked me to sleep for a while. The teacher was so angry that he took it to the office and called his father.

Layers of money

When a chairman summoned young employees in the company, he said: "I have several daughters who are not married, and each daughter has a dowry. Jin: The thirty-year-old daughter is worth twenty thousand dollars; the thirty-five-year-old daughter is worth one hundred thousand dollars; the forty-year-old daughter is worth three hundred thousand dollars. I will not let the person who marries them suffer.

"

An employee stood up and asked: "Chairman, do you have a daughter who is fifty years old?"

Wu Yu: Sometimes, what employees pay attention to is the salary itself. Rather than additional benefits. 4 Jokes to Make Girls Happy

The Careless Professor

Professor Fielding was always careless and his wife asked him to take a bag of garbage along. After throwing it into the trash bin outside the building, he carried it to the subway, then to the laboratory, and finally carried it back home.

His wife was shocked: "What are you carrying?" Ding said: “Oh, I forgot to throw away the garbage. "

The wife took it over and looked at it, and was even more surprised: "Where did you get a pack of ham from?" Jokes and Stories to Make Girls Happy 5

The Smart Chief

A certain chief had a hobby of listening to stories. One day, he hosted a banquet for guests. At his repeated request, a guest from other places told a very interesting story:

This guest. I met a very pretentious man in the city, and the guest said to him: "Please guess what I put in my pocket. If you guess correctly, I will give you half of these eggs; if you can guess the number of eggs, I will give you all ten eggs.

The man thought for a long time and said: "Friend, although I am not stupid, I can't know everything." I can't guess.

The guest said: "Guess again, this thing is white on the outside and yellow on the inside." "

"Guessed it!" the man said loudly, "It must be a pile of white radishes with a potato hidden in the middle. "

Hearing this, the guests all laughed, and the chief laughed even more. Finally he asked:

"That's really a fool. Respectable friend, please tell us now, what exactly are you putting in your pocket?" ;