I hope you can provide me with some funny text messages to send to good friends (preferably something special)

＊2007 Year of the Golden Pig Funny Mobile Text Messages＊

Yesterday I made a bet with my friend, I said there is no one stupider than a pig in the world. I lost, and it's all your fault! Please treat me to a meal and heal my frustrated heart!

Have you had enough to eat today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold at night? I really want to stay by your side quietly. I know you never take care of yourself. Whenever I walk away, you jump out of the pigsty!

My love for you will never regret, my love for you will never fade away, I can’t sleep thinking about you, I ask you if you are willing to fly with me, I was wrong to fall in love with you, I forgot you. Can't learn. . . I saw a pig, intoxicated by text messages!

I was discussing you with some friends today. Some of them said you look like a horse, some said you looked like a sheep, and some said you looked like one. . . They went too far. I had a quarrel with them over this matter and almost had a fight, because you obviously look like a pig!

Do you know? I have always had a crush on you, missing your face, your lips, and your ears. But I am very poor and cannot express my feelings. Now that I have money, I can say loudly: "Boss, cut that pig head in half for me!"

Are you reluctant? are you alone? Do you think you are not understood? Don't be sad, even if the whole world abandons you, the door here is still open for you - Shenzhen National Nutritional Pig Factory.

Teach you a spell to make you happy: (Mandarin) An Sizhu, An Sizhu, An Sizhi Pure Bamboo. . . Congratulations on learning the standard Shandong dialect: I am a pig, I am a pig, I am a stupid pig!

The dog is a math genius who chases meat buns in a straight line, the pig is a gourmet who uses dog poop for dessert, the cat is the king of love songs, and the sheep is a hairdresser who even permed his hair into curls. You're better than them especially with your appetite.

Tonight the animals in the zoo have a party, orioles sing, peacocks dance, orangutans and elephants perform skits, tigers and cheetahs talk cross talk ----- Hey, stupid pig, it's your turn, you're still stupid there What are you looking at?

A cricket made a bet with a pig: If I jump into the grass, you can’t see me. The pig said: Should I be able to see you? So the cricket jumped into the grass. The pigs are watching, the pigs are watching! The pig is still watching! Why are the pigs still watching? !

You and hundreds of friends held a demonstration, demanding to improve the living environment, improve supporting facilities, and build more playgrounds. The next day, the government issued a new decree: vigorously rectify all pig farms!

When guests come to Africa, they are called hackers. Expressing one's emotions is called being in heat. Vomiting after drinking is called drunkenness. If someone dies in an accident while driving under the influence of alcohol, he should be called drunk and deserve to die. There are pigs just like you, so they are called pigs and so on!

Every time the wind and rain are severe, I am the one who cares for you. When there is famine, I will deliver food to you. Your honest and honest expression makes me excited. In fact, raising a pig is quite a sense of accomplishment!

The leader’s dinner speech: Rabbits (comrades)! Today's meal was originally enough for the dogs, but because the pigs fed (you) too much, it was not enough for the dogs. ...

There is a meteor shower tonight, and I heard that there will be a big pig flying over the sky. It's a pity that I have to go to bed, and you will be fine, there are so many people watching you fly!

Please touch your red and tender face first, and then your belly! good! This concludes this pig raising knowledge lecture, see you tomorrow!

Someone said that you have a housing crisis. I almost got angry with him. Don’t make blind suspicions if you don’t know the inside story. How could there be a housing crisis? The pigsty you live in should be considered a conjoined villa.

You are the best. I start to miss you again. I am no longer angry with you, and I feel my love for you. It's getting deeper every day, that's because someone told me... the price of piggy has increased: you are valuable again!

Have you eaten enough today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I really want to stay by your side quietly. I know you never take care of yourself. Whenever I leave, Just jump out of the pig pen.

Write your name on the paper. Write a capital letter M above the first word, E on the left, W below, and W on the last word. Write W below and Q on the right, and use arcs to connect the feet of each letter.

Although you have the appearance of a human but only have the IQ of a pig, it is not your fault that you are mentally retarded, but it is your fault that you often ask mentally retarded questions to lower other people's IQ.

Dear, do you know? You have lost a lot of weight recently! I see it in my eyes, but it hurts in my heart. The New Year is about to come, but your body is worrying... Who doesn’t want to kill a few more pounds of pigs?

You are happy so I am happy, I am happy so you are happy, I am sad because you have lost weight, my hands have become thinner because you are sick, I have laughed because I have become stronger, I am rich because I have You sold~~~~~Little Piggy!

If autumn goes, I will wait for you in the snow; if the world goes, I will wait for you in heaven; if you go, I will miss you in tears; if I go, Let him take care of you. His pig-raising skills are not bad, really! ”

It’s time to say goodbye to you. Seeing the innocence on your face, my heart is broken. Why did I really choose, but then give up in a hurry? How much I want to keep you by my side. , but my mother said, "Pigs are not allowed to be raised in the city!" "Haha

I will build your happiness. I will make up for your confusion; I will satisfy your greed; I will make concessions to your willfulness; I am the one who cares about you, no one else. Let me be a professional pig farmer! Alas, it is not easy to feed a pig!

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, seven little pigs showing off their bellies, one is missing, and I am looking for the pig doll everywhere. , it turns out that the little pig is too naughty, hiding in a dark corner, using his little pig's trotters to open the phone to read the message.

Please stop reading and turn off the phone. There is really nothing to see. Please, do you really want to see it? You don’t regret it? Okay, this is what you asked for, you are a pig! You are very elegant. You walked over from a distance step by step. Your bright smile, healthy skin, and gentle heart make people envious of you for having a pair of holy wings. In this world, even pigs have become angels. ~ Vomiting blood.

A portrait of your life: knowing how to take a bath at the age of ten - Pig self-cleansing; knowing how to dress up at the age of twenty - Pig Shimao; knowing how to work at the age of thirty - Pig establishing a career; having a servant at the age of forty - A pig is a servant, and he can shoot at the age of fifty - pig shooting

I don’t want to be your parallel line, and I can only wait and see you from a distance in my life; I don’t want to be your intersection line, becoming more and more tender after a moment Walk farther and farther; I just want to be in a straight line with you, and we will drive you into the pigsty!

The north wind has begun to blow again, and you are always like this if you are careless, every time Let me remind you to wear more clothes, but you always answer me with disdain: What do I do with such thick pig skin? Are you still afraid of the little wind?

The sun The troubles are over, and you will be full of energy to welcome the wonderful day. Come out of the nest! Shake the pig's hair, wash the pig's face, and work hard for the feed!

Tea! , you need to drink strong, until the fragrance is lingering; the road, you need to walk hard, until the bitterness is gone; people, you need deep feelings, until you can love again in the next life; pig's trotters, you need fresh, eh? The one holding the mobile phone is Not bad!

In the past, I only knew that the little pig could not speak, so he only knew how to hum. But then I met you, and I realized that you are better at humming than the little pig. As for you, you still hum. !

A pig and a penguin were kept in a cold storage at -20°C. The penguin died the next day, but the pig was fine. Why didn’t you know? By the way, neither did the pig! /p>

I have to congratulate you, Baby Pig. You are well-educated and literate, so you can read your text messages clearly. But this is a novel about pigs. It is said that pigs in the world are talking

Waiting for a subway takes five minutes; watching a movie takes three hours; watching the moon wax and wane for a month; missing someone for a lifetime! But A word of concern only takes a few seconds: It’s cold, put some more grass in the nest!

Read it in Sichuan dialect: Daiyi crosses the black area, mom area is low, at night, the head orchid and the tiger jump out of the canal Come, put Li on the ground, but risk you, Moss, it will risk you? Because it has four spindles, it can't live in the building!

A little pig is about to be killed slaughter. The butcher came to catch it viciously.

But Xiaozhu said impassionedly, "Don't be afraid of death. Wait until I finish reading this text message." Haha

God did not give the pigs wisdom because he wanted them to be happy. Therefore, you must be happy.

Are you worried about being as fat as a pig? Is it sinful to be as lazy as a pig? Is it pitiful to be as stupid as a pig? Of course not, you are a pig! Whatever you want to do, do it!

You were in a duel with a wild boar and got kicked in the head. The wild boar said: Grandma! Domestic pigs still want to fight wild boars and seek death!

It turns out that I have been really in love for a long time, and I have fallen in love with you! But I am afraid that one day you will leave me. Why can’t you cherish this fate after making a true choice? I want to be together forever, but Uncle Pol.ice said that pigs are not allowed to be raised in the city!

One day, Bajie asked Tang Seng: Master, am I really the ugliest in the world? Tang Seng looked troubled and said: Go ask Sister Guanyin! Jie came back from Guanyin and asked cheerfully: Haha, master, who is ##? Haha!

It was late at night, and the little pig was crying sadly. The mother asked: What are you crying for? Little Pig He said: I feel stupid. His mother comforted him: Son, don’t cry, the person reading this text message is stupider than you!

Guess the lantern riddle: You are standing with the pig. (Hit an animal) Answer: Elephant

A pair of lovers together is called Qingqingwomei, a couple together is called Yongjietongxin, but you are simple, you and a pig are called Shuangcheng. right.

When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth, and blessed ears, you can’t help but sigh out loud———— Pig!

You went to the supermarket to buy a tube of toothpaste and left. The cashier looked at your background and sighed: The world has changed, and pigs have evolved to brush their teeth!

They say pigs are lazy, but I don’t think so. At least now, I find a pig reading text messages.

Since ancient times, a mathematical equation has been eternally correct: A=B, B=C, so A=C, you=animal, animal=pig, so you=pig.

New signs in the animal world: ants Q B African elephants, lions sold spicy hotpot, mice had sex with snakes, sharks and donkeys went to shopping malls, and piglets were even crazier, pretending to be hooligans with a mobile phone, hey, As for you, you still read the demo!

That day I called you a pig, and you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I called you a pig. Finally, you couldn't bear it anymore and shouted to me in front of many people, "I am a pig." It’s weird if it’s not a pig”!

If you receive this message, you are a chubby pink pig; if you delete this message, you are a small African black pig; if you reply to this message, you are a Rwandan wild boar; if you do not reply, you are a Ukrainian large white pig; if you save it, you are an American pig. Perverted pig, hey, let’s see what you do

Sunrise + sunset = morning and evening, moon + stars = infinite longing for wind flowers + snowy moon = tenderness and sweet shooting stars + heartfelt wishes = thousands of blessings for you + Charcoal fire = fragrant suckling pig

Weird thing, really weird thing! Last time I accidentally spilled half a pot of boiling water on your hand and you said it was fine and it didn't hurt at all! Later, I looked up proverbs and found out that a dead pig is not afraid of boiling water!

The cobra is highly short-sighted. After being polite with the elephant on their first date, the cobra said to the elephant's trunk: Come on, you are too polite to bring such a big pig. Let me ask again, is this pig called ##?

You are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am sad because you are thin, I am thin because you are sick, I am smiling because you are strong, and I am rich because of you. Sold...the pig!

I have always been by your side and worried about you again and again. Have you had enough to eat today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I've always known that you just can't take care of yourself. Whenever I walk away, you jump out of the pig pen.

I have always had a soft spot for you, your face appears in front of my eyes all the time! But I was too poor to hope for it, but now I have money! You can say loudly: Boss, cut that pig head in half for me!

How can I bear to watch you leave? We have spent so many warm and happy times together, but today we are breaking up! Looking at your sad eyes, I shouted: Wait a minute, I won’t sell this pig anymore

I miss you day after day, and I still haven’t changed when I am lonely. When will the beautiful dream come true? Appear! My dear, I really want to see you! But I just can’t find you living in that pigsty! A dead pig has a bad sleeping position and falls asleep again.

There are six kinds of pigs in the world. Those raised at home are called domestic pigs, those born in the mountains are called wild boars, those who read messages are called stupid pigs, those who are laughing are stupid pigs, and those who are angry are stupid pigs. Ignore me. Those who don’t reply are worse than pigs~~~

The weather changes for free, be careful of catching a cold, and I would like to express my concern for you again: the first is to take off your clothes; the second is to stay late; the third is to give cold drinks ; The four precepts are picky eaters; the five precepts are cold baths; the six precepts are drunkenness; the seven precepts are to wear quilts; the eight precepts are, do you understand?

If autumn is gone, I will wait for you in the snow. If the world is gone, I will love you in heaven. If you leave, I will miss you in tears; if I leave, I will let him take care of you. His pig-raising skills are not bad, really.

The intermittent rain makes me think endlessly. , To put it bluntly, I just miss you. When the weather is nice and sunny, I will take you to that meadow, but I have agreed in advance: the pigs are only allowed to eat grass and are not allowed to dig into the ground!

I have countless friends in the past, and I want to come here. You are the coolest person when I want to go. I have searched for you thousands of times in my dreams. When I look back suddenly, you are still in my pig shed, eating grass and leaning against the tree. Your tail can’t stop swaying. It turns out you are chewing on my tree. Damn it!

When I met you by chance, I was so flustered that I didn’t know what to do. I can't avoid your loving eyes. I understand your heart. I ran away desperately but you followed me closely. I cried: "Whose pigs are so hungry?"

I used to be just an ordinary knight, until I met you, the most mysterious person in the world, and called your name out of nowhere. , and since then I have become the "Pig-Knowing Man" respected by everyone in the world.

I want to tell you my true feelings when you are happiest. In the warm and romantic New Year, the opportunity finally comes - -You look like a pig when you are happy, and more like a pig when you are angry. Happy New Year, Pig!

I spend my days like this: playing basketball with Jordan, boxing with Tyson, playing chess with Wei Ping, chatting about scandals with Clinton, blowing up buildings with Bin Laden, and giving hair to pigs. Short message.

Not every flower can represent love, but roses do; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar does; not every pig can receive text messages, but you Did it!

There is a meteor shower tonight, and I heard that there will be a big pig flying across the sky. It's a pity that I have to go to bed, and you will be fine, there are so many people watching you fly!

Those raised at home are domestic pigs, those born in the mountains are called wild boars, those who read this message are stupid pigs, those who are laughing are stupid pigs, those who are angry are fat pigs, and those who ignore me are dead. Pigs, those who don’t reply are worse than pigs.

The moment I cruelly turned around and left, you cried helplessly behind me. The heartbreaking pain made me realize in an instant how much I love you. I turned around and hugged you: This pig is not for sale!

I just saw you in the supermarket! You reach out to the barcode scanner, and the screen reads: Pig's trotters are 8 yuan. You thought the machine was broken, so you turned your face over to take a look. The screen showed pork head meat for 5 yuan!

You are the best. I start to miss you again. I am no longer angry with you. And I feel that my love for you is getting deeper every day. That’s because someone told me...the price of pork has increased. , you can buy it at a good price!

Let me ask you a riddle: There are two drops of water on the pig's butt. Name a song... Can't you guess it? It's flowing. Tears on your face.

I told my mother that I like you and I want you to go to my house and stay with me day and night, you know? Through these days of interaction, I found that I can no longer live without you, but my mother refused. She said: Pigs are not allowed to be raised at home!

You are dragging a pig shopping, looking very happy. I passed by and said with sympathy: "The quality of a person depends on who he is with." Before I finished speaking, I saw the pig abandoning you with disdain.

Life is so tiring! You have to queue up to get on the bus, unrequited love is really painful, eating has no flavor, drinking is easy to get drunk, working is very tiring, you can’t rob, you have to pay taxes to earn money, and even sending a text message to Xiaozhu has to be charged~!

Busy? It's okay, I just want to tell you in a way that doesn't disturb you, I'm thinking of you! I hope that when you receive this text message, you will smile at the corner of your mouth, arch your nose, and hum twice to let other pigs know that the owner likes you the most!

A bean fell down and became discouraged and depressed. This bean is me, what can encourage it to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called "Pig Encouragement Beans".

The little pig cried sadly. Mom asked: Why are you crying? Piggy said: I feel stupid. His mother comforted him: Son, don’t cry, the person reading this text message is stupider than you!

The light rain is floating in the sky, as if you are laughing at my insanity. Why are you so selfish and cruel, making me miss you in vain? I racked my brains and wrote poems full of heartache. Who knew that only pig heads and idiots were staring at this poem on their mobile phones?

p>

Every time the wind and rain are severe, I am the one who cares for you. When there is famine, I will bring you food. Your honest and honest expression makes me excited. In fact, raising a pig is quite a sense of accomplishment!

In this warm and romantic day, a little pig hides in the house and draws his eggs, which are round and round. Pig, happy round eggs!

Dear, do you know? You have lost a lot of weight recently! I see it in my eyes, but it hurts in my heart. The New Year is about to come, but your body is worrying... Who doesn't want to kill a few more pounds of pigs?

In those days, we walked quietly on the small road in our hometown, and you lowered your head shyly.

When the villagers saw us, they all praised you: Hey, you are beautiful and clean! He also praised me: What a good boy, he came out to herd pigs at such a young age!

I haven’t heard from you for a long time

I’ve been missing you these past two days

I feel very confused

Looking for your favorite pond

The dining hut

The sleeping lawn

Still no sign of you

My heart is almost broken

......

Why did you lose such a big pig?

My friends said that we will not be happy together

They advised me to give up on you and leave you

But I really like you and can’t bear to leave you

I fell out with them for this reason

Why?

They are allowed to raise dogs, but I am not allowed to raise pigs!

I don’t want to be your parallel line, and I can only watch you from a distance in my life; I don’t want to be your intersecting line, and go farther and farther after a moment of tenderness; I only want to be with you In a straight line, you go in front of me and I drive you into the pigsty!

The north wind started to blow again. You are always so careless. Every time you ask me to remind you to wear more clothes, but you always answer me with disdain: I am so thick. What is the pig skin used for? Are you still afraid of that little wind?

The sun has risen, the troubles have passed, and you will be full of energy to welcome a wonderful today, okay! Get out of the nest! Shake the pig's hair, wash the pig's face, and work hard for feed!

Tea should be drunk until the fragrance is lingering; the road should be difficult to walk until the bitterness is over; people should have deep feelings, so that they can love again in the next life; pig's trotters should be fresh, Huh? This one is great for holding a cell phone!

In the past, I only knew that the little pig couldn’t speak, so he only knew how to hum. But then I met you, and I realized that you are better at humming than the little pig. As for you, you still hum!

A pig and a penguin were kept in a cold storage at -20°C. The penguin died the next day, but the pig was fine. Why? you do not know? By the way, pigs don’t know either!

Aike from Baby Pig: You have to congratulate me. First of all, if you have a pig's culture, education, and literacy, you can understand your text messages. It’s the pig’s reading, which is said by the pigs in the world

Waiting for a subway, five minutes; watching a movie, three hours; watching the moon waxing and waning, a month; missing someone, a lifetime ! But a word of concern only takes a few seconds: It’s cold, please put more grass in the nest!

Read it in Sichuan dialect: Dai Yi crossed the black area, Mom area was low. At night, a tiger jumped out of the canal and threw Li Dai to the ground, but I risked you and others. I risked it for Moss. Your other columns? Because it has four axes, it doesn't live in a building!

A little pig is about to be slaughtered. The butcher came to catch it viciously. But Xiaozhu said impassionedly, "Don't be afraid of death. Wait until I finish reading this text message." Haha LL

God did not give pigs wisdom because He wanted them to be happy. Therefore, you must be happy.

Are you worried about being as fat as a pig? Is it sinful to be as lazy as a pig? Is it pitiful to be as stupid as a pig? Of course not, you are a pig! Whatever you want to do, do it!

You were in a duel with a wild boar and got kicked in the head. The wild boar said: Grandma! Domestic pigs still want to fight wild boars and seek death!

It turns out that Rijiu is really in love, I have fallen in love with you! But I am afraid that one day you will leave me. Why can’t I cherish this fate after I truly choose? I wish I could be together forever, but the police uncle said that raising pigs is not allowed in the city!

One day, Bajie asked Tang Seng: Master, am I really the ugliest person in this world? Tang Monk looked troubled and said: Go ask Sister Guanyin! Bajie came back from Guanyin and asked cheerfully: Haha, master, who is ##? Ha ha!

It was late at night, and the little pig was crying sadly. Mom asked: Why are you crying? Piggy said: I feel stupid. His mother comforted him: Son, don’t cry, the person reading this text message is stupider than you!

Guess the lantern riddle: You stand with the pig.

(Hit an animal) Answer: Elephant

A pair of lovers together is called Qingqingwomei, a couple together is called Yongjietongxin, but you are simple, you and a pig are called Shuangcheng. right.

When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth, and blessed ears, you can’t help but sigh out loud———— Pig!

You went to the supermarket to buy a tube of toothpaste and left. The cashier looked at your background and sighed: The world has changed, and pigs have evolved to brush their teeth!

They say pigs are lazy, but I don’t think so. At least now, I find a pig reading text messages.

Since ancient times, a mathematical equation has been eternally correct: A=B, B=C, so A=C, you=animal, animal=pig, so you=pig.

New signs in the animal world: ants raped African elephants, lions sold spicy hotpot, rats had sex with snakes, sharks and donkeys went to shopping malls, and piglets were even crazier, pretending to be hooligans with a mobile phone, hey, As for you, you still read the demo!

That day I called you a pig, and you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I called you a pig. Finally, you couldn't bear it anymore and shouted to me in front of many people, "I am a pig." It’s weird if it’s not a pig”!

If you receive this message, you are a chubby pink pig; if you delete this message, you are a small African black pig; if you reply to this message, you are a Rwandan wild boar; if you do not reply, you are a Ukrainian large white pig; if you save it, you are an American pig. Perverted pig, hey, let’s see what you do

Sunrise + sunset = morning and evening, moon + stars = infinite longing for wind flowers + snowy moon = tenderness and sweet shooting stars + heartfelt wishes = thousands of blessings for you + Charcoal fire = fragrant suckling pig

Weird thing, really weird thing! Last time I accidentally spilled half a pot of boiling water on your hand and you said it was fine and it didn't hurt at all! Later, I looked up public opinion proverbs and found out that a dead pig is not afraid of boiling water!

The cobra is highly short-sighted. After being polite with the elephant on their first date, the cobra said to the elephant's trunk: Come on, you are too polite to bring such a big pig. Let me ask again, is this pig called ##?

You are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am sad because you are thin, I am thin because you are sick, I am smiling because you are strong, and I am rich because of you. Sold...the pig!

I have always been by your side and worried about you again and again. Have you had enough to eat today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I've always known that you just can't take care of yourself. Whenever I walk away, you jump out of the pig pen.

I have always had a soft spot for you, your face appears in front of my eyes all the time! But I was too poor to hope for it, but now I have money! You can say loudly: Boss, cut that pig head in half for me!

How can I bear to watch you leave? We have spent so many warm and happy times together, but today we are breaking up! Looking at your sad eyes, I shouted: Wait a minute, I won’t sell this pig anymore

I miss you day after day, and I still haven’t changed when I am lonely. When will the beautiful dream come true? Appear! My dear, I really want to see you! But I just can’t find you living in that pigsty! A dead pig has a bad sleeping position and falls asleep again.

There are six kinds of pigs in the world. Those raised at home are called domestic pigs, those born in the mountains are called wild boars, those who read messages are called stupid pigs, those who are laughing are stupid pigs, and those who are angry are stupid pigs. Ignore me. Those who don’t reply are worse than pigs~~~

The weather changes for free, be careful of catching a cold, and I would like to express my concern for you again: the first is to take off your clothes; the second is to stay late; the third is to give cold drinks ; The four precepts are picky eaters; the five precepts are cold baths; the six precepts are drunkenness; the seven precepts are to wear quilts; the eight precepts are, do you understand?

If autumn is gone, I will wait for you in the snow. If the world is gone, I will love you in heaven. If you leave, I will miss you in tears; if I leave, I will let him take care of you. His pig-raising skills are not bad, really.

The intermittent rain makes me think endlessly. , To put it bluntly, I just miss you. When the weather is nice and sunny, I will take you to that piece of grass, but I have made an agreement in advance: the pigs are only allowed to eat grass and are not allowed to dig into the ground!

I met you by chance, and I was so confused that I didn’t know what to do. I can't avoid your loving eyes. I understand your heart.

I ran away desperately but you followed me closely. I cried: "Whose pigs are so hungry?"

I haven't heard from you for a long time. I have been thinking about you for the past two days. I have searched all over the pond where you loved to go, the hut where you ate, the hut where you slept, and the lawn. My heart is almost broken when I don’t see you... Why did you lose such a big pig?

My friends said that we will not be happy together, and they advised me to give up on you. Leave you, but I really like you and can't bear to leave you, so I fell out with them. Why, they are allowed to raise dogs, but I am not allowed to raise pigs.

Little Piggy is amazing. He sleeps until ten o'clock every day and eats five bowls at a time. No one dares to compare in weight. Where is Little Piggy? Smirking and reading text messages.

The king asked for 100 pigs, but the minister only brought 99. The king said: "Where is 1 more pig?" The minister said: "There is 1 more pig who is reading the text message!"

I want to tell you what I mean when you are the happiest. In the warm and romantic New Year, the opportunity finally comes - you are like a pig when you are happy, and more like a pig when you are angry. Happy New Year, Pig!

There is a meteor shower tonight, and I heard that there will be a big pig flying across the sky. It's a pity that I have to go to bed, and you will be fine, there are so many people watching you fly!

Those raised at home are domestic pigs, those born in the mountains are called wild boars, those who read this message are stupid pigs, those who are laughing are stupid pigs, those who are angry are fat pigs, and those who ignore me are dead. Pigs, those who don’t reply are worse than pigs.

The moment I cruelly turned around and left, you cried helplessly behind me. The heartbreaking pain made me realize in an instant how much I love you. I turned around and hugged you: This pig is not for sale!

I just saw you in the supermarket! You reach out to the barcode scanner, and the screen reads: Pig's trotters are 8 yuan. You thought the machine was broken, so you turned your face over to take a look. The screen showed pork head meat for 5 yuan!

You are the best. I start to miss you again. I am no longer angry with you. And I feel that my love for you is getting deeper every day. That’s because someone told me... the price of pork has increased, you Get a good price!

Let me ask you a riddle: There are two drops of water on the pig's butt. Name a song... You can't guess it, but your face is filled with tears.

I told my mother that I like you and I want you to go to my house and stay with me day and night, you know? Through these days of interaction, I found that I can no longer live without you, but my mother refused. She said: Pigs are not allowed to be raised at home!

You are dragging a pig shopping, looking very happy. I passed by and said with sympathy: "The quality of a person depends on who he is with." Before I finished speaking, I saw the pig abandoning you with disdain.

Life is so tiring! You have to queue up to get on the bus, unrequited love is really painful, eating has no flavor, drinking is easy to get drunk, working is very tiring, you can’t rob, you have to pay taxes to earn money, and even sending a text message to Xiaozhu has to be charged~!

Busy? It's okay, I just want to tell you in a way that doesn't disturb you, I'm thinking of you! I hope that when you receive this text message, you will smile at the corner of your mouth, arch your nose, and hum twice to let other pigs know that the owner likes you the most!

A bean fell down and became discouraged and depressed. This bean is me, what can encourage it to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called "Pig Encouragement Beans".

The little pig cried sadly. Mom asked: Why are you crying? Piggy said: I feel stupid. His mother comforted him: Son, don’t cry, the person reading this text message is stupider than you!

The light rain is floating in the sky, as if you are laughing at my insanity. Why are you so selfish and cruel, making me miss you in vain? I racked my brains and wrote poems full of heartache. Who knew that only pig heads and idiots were staring at this poem on their mobile phones?

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Whenever the wind and rain are severe, I am the one who cares for you. When there is famine, I bring you food. Your honest and honest expression makes me excited. In fact, raising a pig is quite a sense of accomplishment!

In this warm and romantic day, a little pig hides in the house and draws his eggs, which are round and round. Pig, happy round eggs!

Party members keep fresh: Don’t drink party wine for a day. I don’t know how to take the route. Don’t eat party food for a day. I don’t know how to do my job. One day without party money. I don’t know how to fill in the invoice. Don’t smoke party cigarettes for a day. I don’t know how to sign my name.

Difficulties in keeping fresh education: criticizing superiors for being difficult to maintain official positions; criticizing peers for being difficult to maintain; criticizing oneself for looking for trouble; criticizing subordinates for reducing votes; criticizing husbands for messing around; criticizing children for having no one to care for them in old age. What is good about this situation?

It is said that a blind man told fortunes very accurately, and everyone brought a sloughed pig to let him tell fortunes. The blind man was overjoyed after touching it and said: He has wide hips and a round belly. He is a contemporary party member with a big face and small eyes. He is a leader. His skin is tender and his meat is being kept fresh!

A few tears on the pig's butt. Guess what? Qi Yi song title. Tell you that your face is filled with tears.

Someone told me to look at the sky when I miss home, the moon when I miss my mother, and the moon when I miss my good friends. Far away, but I don’t know what I should look at when I miss you. Now I finally know, I just look at the pigsty.

If you want to look, press it! Press it again! Do you really press it? Idiot ! Click again! Pigs are not as stupid as you! Silly! Stupid pig!

The wolf is coming, and the pig's nest is in panic. The pig mother arranges the work: Big pig, hurry up and block the door! 2 Pig, go and block the window! When she saw the little pig, the mother pig became angry and shouted: Little Pig Bajie, stop playing with your phone, you are beautiful, go seduce the wolf!

You traveled to Xishuangbanna, Yunnan, and met someone on the way. Besieged by a group of wild boars, you took out food and money. The wild boars were unmoved. You took out your only ID card. The group of pigs knelt down and cried bitterly: Boss! We have found you!

In my eyes Here, you always look carefree, you always eat with relish, and you always sleep soundly... I really envy you, oh, sometimes I think about it, it's pretty good to be a pig like you!

I can't eat in the morning because I miss you. I can't eat in the afternoon because I miss you even more. I can't eat in the evening because I miss you crazily. I can't sleep at night because... .........I'm hungry

Let me ask you a riddle: There are two drops of water on the pig's butt. Name a song... Can't you guess it? Your face is crying

Do you know? I have always had a crush on you, missing your face, your lips, your tongue, your ears, but I was too poor to confess. Now that I have money, I can loudly say, "Boss, cut that pig head in half for me." ”

Dear, do you know? You have lost a lot of weight recently! I see it in my eyes, but it hurts in my heart. The New Year is about to come, but your body is worrying... Who doesn't want to kill a few more pounds of pigs?