Who can tell me a super funny joke?

Do you want to get rich? Do you want to be lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to stay young forever? Do you want people all over the world to be crazy about you? ———————— Stop thinking nonsense, wash your feet and go to sleep!

The rainy day is so wet, and the mood is so wet... Every night, you just stare blankly out of the cold window, watching foolishly. I come over and kiss you gently Said: "Wangcai, go in, the person who brought the bones won't come today."

Monkey-hunting revelation: I lost a small hairy monkey. Characteristics: dirty and squeaking, face full of snot, body You have a mobile phone and can read text messages. After reading the text messages, Love Monkey will reply to the owner quickly! The owner misses you so much!

I heard that you were abducted and trafficked, which really scared me. Although you You've been a dementia since childhood, but you're harmless to society. Who is so bold as to sell you? I'm really worried for him. It would be strange to sell him!

I told my mother: I like you. ! After getting along with you for such a long time, I feel that I can't live without you. I want you to come to my house and accompany me every day! But my mother disagreed. She said: puppies are not allowed in the house!

8. I changed my job and now work in a bank, the one not far from you. Come to me when you have time. Go to the bank and shout my name, and I will know. That’s right! I changed my name because it was too vulgar. My name is Qiangjie now.

You look very creative. It is your courage to live. Being ugly is not your original intention. It is just God who lost his temper. You must live bravely. Without you, who can set off the world? of beauty.

One day, Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest. He walked up to him and said, "I am Hong Tao Liu." The foreign guest said, "I'm still the Seven of Diamonds!"

Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplars can; not every pig can read short messages, but you Did it. congratulations!

You are the sun in my heart, but it is raining; you are the moon in my dream, but it is covered by clouds; you are the most beautiful flower in my heart, but it is a pity that it has bloomed; you are the sky Chang'e came to the world, but unfortunately she landed face first...

I have been friends with you for so long. You have always cared about me, but I often cause you trouble. I really don’t know how to answer you. . Therefore, if you work as a cow or a horse in your next life, I will definitely pull grass for you to eat.

If you were a shooting star, I would pursue you. If you were a satellite, I would wait for you. If you were a star, I would fall in love with you. Unfortunately, you are a gorilla!

Meeting you is the beginning of my heartbeat; falling in love with you is my happy choice; having you is my most precious wealth; stepping on the red carpet is my eternal motivation. Unfortunately - I sent the message to the wrong person.

Because of you, I believe in the arrangement of fate. Maybe all this is destined by God and is pulling us both. What I want to say now is - what sins did I commit in my previous life?

Starting tomorrow, the city has decided to eliminate all mentally handicapped young people who are ugly and detract from the appearance of the city! Pack your things quickly and go out to avoid the limelight. Don't tell anyone that I informed you. Remember! No need to say thank you!

God saw that you were thirsty and created water; God saw that you were hungry and created rice; God saw that you had no lovely friends and created me; but He also saw that there are no idiots in the world, and by the way He also saw that there are no idiots in the world. Create you.

Missing you is a happy thing! Loving you is what I will always do! Keeping you in my heart is what I always do! However, lying to you is what is happening!

According to statistics, more than 99.9% of people who look like pig heads use their thumbs to press buttons to read text messages! Hehe, there’s no need to change hands, it’s already too late, pig head!

If being beautiful is a mistake, I have made a big mistake; if being smart is a sin, I have committed a heinous crime. Being a human being is really difficult. But you are fine, you are right and not guilty, I really envy you!

If I burn incense for one year, I can meet you, if I burn incense for 3 years, I can get to know you, and if I burn incense for 10 years, I can cherish you.

Therefore, for my happiness in the next life, I am willing to convert to Christianity

The hunter found a pig, raised his shotgun and killed the pig. When the hunter approached the pig, the pig got up. Do you know why? Can't guess? The pig is also wondering.

The rooster and the hen are hatching the chicks. The chick has a mental problem and won’t eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are observing the little stupid chicken. The stupid chick didn’t pay attention and is looking down at the phone! ?

Please read aloud: The plum blossoms are smelling the flowers again, and the branches are full of sadness. Invite to hear that the rocks are broken, and the dampness reaches the spring green. ?

Your smile is very sweet, your angry look is very cute, you are the most beautiful in my eyes, and you are the best in my heart. Aren’t you very touched? You pig.?

I had a dream last night, you were the protagonist! Dreaming that you are panting and chasing a pig with a kitchen knife in your hand. But the pig suddenly knelt down and begged for mercy and said: We are born from the same roots, why are we so anxious to fry each other? ?

Test your Mandarin, please read the following poem aloud: dark stone green, dark carnation, dark stone through spring green, dark stone through spring bamboo. ?

Take MM to the gym and show her various equipment. One of them is a rubber band exercise for your lats. MM suddenly said something, do you come here every night to pimp? I fainted on the spot. ?

[[[Tricky jokes]]]

1. Find a friend and ask him to say "rat" 3 times first, and then "rat" 3 times. After he finishes saying "rat, rat, rat, rat, rat, rat", immediately ask him "What is the cat afraid of most"? You can almost guarantee that he will answer "rat". I have tried it many times and it always works.

2. Find 3 random things, such as 3 cups. When you knock the first one, ask your friend to say "forget", knock the second one to say "love", and the third one to say " "Water", euphemistically called testing your friend's reaction speed. After a few times, tap the first one repeatedly. 3. If your friend follows up by saying "Forget, forget, forget, forget, woof, woof, woof, woof , woof,..." Haha, the effect is coming.

3. Find a girl and ask her to test her English ability. You say a word, and MM says the second letter of the word. Just say a few words at the beginning, and then the fun begins.

First talk about husband, and MM will say u(you);

Let’s talk about wife, MM will say i(I);

Repeatedly.

Do you understand?

4. You asked him: "What is three points of water plus one?"

He thought for a while and said: "Not sure, LAI?"

If you ask again: "What about adding one to three points of water?"

He will probably say: "...What is the word? Is there such a word? Go?"

p>

In fact, it should be "Dharma"...

5. Stretch out 1 finger and ask others "How many times is this"

Stretch out 2 fingers again Hold out 3 fingers again and ask others "How many is 1+1"

Extend 3 fingers again and ask others "How many is 1+1"

At most 1 person out of 10 people can answer correctly

6. Take a look at Wang Shuo's novel "Half Fire, Half Sea Water". The game in it is very interesting. It's the one who holds a coin in his hand and answers the question

Is there a number larger than 1? The other party said yes.

I asked if there were any larger than 10? The other party said yes

Until he said 100,000--

Finally, he asked if there are any fools who are stupider than you? The other party replied "no" very alertly!

7. By the way: You can say that I want to test your English response ability, stretch out your left hand and say to her: "My thumb is A, my index finger is C, my middle finger is M, and my ring finger is It’s S, the little finger is X”, and then said, in order to increase the difficulty, I will use Chinese to disturb you. Then, if you point your middle finger to say fish, she will say m, if you point your ring finger to say donkey, she will say S, and then point your thumb to say pig, she will say A, and then keep tapping your thumb to say pig, she will keep saying: A, A, A, A, A, A, if she is smart, she can try other fingers before talking about the thumb.

9. Put your hands on your thighs, then use your left hand to rub forward, and your right hand to beat up and down. Do this for a few times, then change your hands to rub forward with your right hand. Action, make up and down hammering movements with your left hand... Repeat this...

By the way, the speed should be faster, otherwise it will be ineffective. Haha, try it, most people can’t say it

10. A: Besides humans, which animal likes to ask “why” the most?

B: I don’t know.

A: It’s a pig!

B: Why?

Ha! ! !

11. Let’s tell an old story. The more people there are, the better the occasion:

Adventure story. Grandfather and grandson went on an adventure at sea!

Grandpa is a fisherman who is very good at water. On this day, the weather was very good, so he called his grandson to go fishing together.

Unexpectedly, not long after we went to sea, the weather suddenly changed and there were storms on the sea. The little grandson was very scared, so his grandpa comforted him: Don’t be afraid, dear grandson. Grandpa has been skilled for so many years, so why should he be afraid of this little storm?

Suddenly, a big wave came over and split the boat's oar into two sections!

Grandpa said helplessly to his grandson: My dear grandson, we’re done!

12. The English spelling of pig is PUG, right?

--No, it's PIG

--No, why did I remember it was U (YOU)?

-You made a mistake, it was I

--The pig is YOU

--The pig is I

Thank you!