All kinds of witty remarks

1, the real dinosaur, turned off the lights are glowing.

2. Don't think you are a gourd doll.

I wanted to eat my sorrow in one bite, but I became fat in one bite.

4. What age is it now? I have no sense of hooliganism.

5. I can't find it anywhere. I'm still lamenting the small waist. Idle hate, a suit of fat.

If I say one more word to you, I'll feel like a hacker.

7. I would rather be fat and delicate than thin and similar.

8. Your affectionate thighs block all my ways!

9. Men hate people who seduce their wives, especially those who give up halfway.

10, someone sent a note in class. When I saw the content, I really wanted to beat him up. What he wrote was: Are you there?

1 1. W: What do you think of sex? M: The view is that there are many practices.

12, there is a crash called password input error, a panic called account login in different places, a feeling that it is invisible and visible, and a loss of not asking for permission.

13, I went to the city to take part in the pigeon racing yesterday, but I went alone.

14. Many people come into your life just to teach you a lesson and then turn around and leave.

15, I planted a bunch of boyfriends in spring, and now it's autumn. Gee, there is no result ~ ~

16, the most romantic thing I can think of is to fight with you. While we were absconding with money, you were unfortunately caught, and you would rather die than confess. I was jailed, lonely and depressed, and spent the rest of my life spending money like water.

17, everyone is "primitive" at birth. Sadly, many people have gradually become "pirates".

18, when most people care about whether you fly high or not, only a few people care about whether you are tired or not. This is friendship.

19, the most attractive person is Master Kong, and thousands of people hit on him every day.

20. After class is over, the teacher said, is there anything you don't understand? I stretched myself and said, what class does the teacher have?

2 1, look at a temple from a distance, and look at our alma mater, with more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 old roads.

22. Life is a chess game. I am willing to be a chess piece. Although I move slowly, who has seen me take a step back?

All kinds of postures, all kinds of tricks, all kinds of surging, all kinds of floating _ classic sentences

First, pretending to be forced is only an instant, and shameless is eternal.

Second, sitting alone in the pond is like a tiger crouching down and resting in the shade. In spring, if I don't speak first, which cicada dares to speak?

Third, don't fall in love with me, hypocrisy. Get married if you can.

Four, eight hundred miles is divided into fifty strings to flip the external voice.

Five, the truth of Marxism is infinite, in the final analysis is a word, rebellion is justified!

Flip a coin: surf the internet on the front, sleep on the back, stand up and do your homework.

Seven, the Tang Priest, no matter how powerful, is just playing with monkeys.

Eight, discipline does not promise, Hou Ying reiterated.

Nine, the courage to admit mistakes, and resolutely do not change.

Ten, drive Audi, wear Dior, and eat Oreo if you have nothing to do.

Eleven, thousands of blows are still strong, and the wind is southeast and northwest.

Twelve, many people say that marriage is the grave of love, but love that can be buried underground is better than a corpse in the street.

Thirteen, convergence of their temper, occasionally deliberately silent, because the impulse will do things that make them irreparable.

14. Don't overestimate your strength in the collective, because when you choose to leave, you will find that the sun will still rise even without you!

15. I have a crush on you because I'm out of my mind, and now my brain is shaking dry.

Sixteen, my ambition is not rewarded, but people are still suffering. There are tears everywhere in the southeast.

Seventeen, it's very painful now. When you look back later, you will find that it is nothing.

Eighteen, who can write your Excellency, Bai Shoutai Xuan Jing.

Nineteen, if one day we get lost in the crowd and live a mediocre life, it is because we have not tried to live a rich life.

Twenty years and ten years to sharpen a sword, frost and cold have not tried.

Twenty-one, look at the tomb of Wuling heroes, there are no flowers, no wine, no hoes, no fields.

Twenty-two, all kinds of postures, all kinds of tricks, all kinds of surging, all kinds of floating.

We will know about tomorrow the day after tomorrow.

Twenty-four, the world out of our generation, once in the Jianghu, laughing and getting drunk.

25. Oh, how can I bow and scrape to those in high positions and those in high positions? Forget all the happiness in my heart?

A witty classic quotation

1, like to make friends, especially girlfriends. 2, women are not cruel to themselves, men will be cruel to women.

3, it's going to rain, mom is getting married, let him go!

4, if the sky is affectionate, the sky is old, and if people are affectionate, they will die early!

5, my life is not decided by heaven, and heaven will destroy me.

6. No matter how ugly you are, you should fall in love and talk about a world full of love.

7. The Internet is like a glass of beer. It is best to drink it when there is foam.

8. A proud fox is as fierce as a tiger, and a lonely phoenix is not as good as a chicken.

9. Pre-marital physical examination, intelligence test in love!

10, we agreed to go to Whitehead together, but you secretly roasted oil.

1 1, spring is a frequent period of mental illness, so everyone should pay attention.

12, are you tired? Just tired. Comfort is for the dead.

13, God said: Don't forget to take an umbrella when you go out. I will water the flowers later.

14, the quality of the military quilt is good, and there is no signal when the mobile phone is hidden in the quilt!

15, sometimes I feel inexplicably annoyed, but I can't say why.

16, how can you get married without going through scum? No one can be a mother casually.

17, good night, these two simple words, can you tell me for a lifetime!

18, summer is not good, and you don't even need to drink northwest wind when you are poor.

19, the real fate is not the arrangement of heaven, but your initiative.

20. Be careful when dealing with people, but don't be narrow-minded!

People who don't smoke or drink are selfish. Generally, you can't trust for life.

22, don't take the theory of relativity to test Einstein, just like don't take charcoal barbecue.

23, you normal people don't stand up and talk.

24. I try to lose weight every day except during meals. You still say I have no perseverance?

25, I know that there is no such thing as a banquet that must come to an end, but at least, I want to eat well at the banquet!

26, high-profile sun happiness, the picture is jealous; If you are wronged, you will be banned again.

27. Youth is like toilet paper. You can read a lot, but you can't use enough.

28. I was about to jump when you turned around. You changed your mind. I just fucking landed.

29. The pig hit a tree. Did you hit a pig and rear-end it?

30. Don't count the stars after work every day, but sometimes you can watch the sunrise.

3 1, take your hand and drag it away. If the child doesn't leave, dizziness will continue to be dragged away.

32, suddenly found that the world as long as you are happy, instantly become fucking beautiful.

33. Young girls are precious, but young women are more expensive. If there are rich women, they can both be thrown away.

34. When I was young, the thickest letter was a love letter; When I grow up, the thickest letter is the bank bill.

35. The so-called simplicity, those with wings are angels, and those without wings are idiots.

36. Is money really that important to you? I've been talking for over an hour, and I haven't left a penny behind.

37. Life is like an electrocardiogram. You want smooth sailing without ups and downs, unless you die.

38. Marriage is the grave of love. Without marriage, love will not have a good end.

39. A good meal won't last three meals, a good clothes rack won't last half a month, but a good book will last a lifetime.

40. Say it out loud if you love me! Hate me and hide it in your heart all your life!

4 1, I'm a passerby you turn around and forget. Why should I accompany you to the ends of the earth?

I wanted to be a problem of juvenile, but I have been following the rules for so many years.

43, a rising voice can't be suppressed, and the house price is over 10,000; The mortgage will not be used up until death, and the property rights will be dry to tears!

Please stop dressing up and leave some confidence for other women!

45, people, born in bed, died in bed, want to live to death, but also in bed.

46. If the weather is fine, you will be fine. In this weather, it seems that you have left!

47. Damn it! The world is so crazy, mice are mothers to cats!

48. You don't look like a girl except when you have your period!

49. Many girls got Han Hong's disease, but not Han Hong.

50. How far your thoughts are, how far you roll; You can roll as fast as the speed of light

5 1. There are only two things I can't do in my life: neither this nor that.

Would you please not appear in the street often? Otherwise traffic accidents will increase!

53. Some people stick to the end, some people stick to the bottom, and some people stick to Detroit.

54. I want to find a man like King Kong to stand in the tallest building in America and give me a plane.

55. Burning incense brings you and me together in one year, you and me together in 10 year and you and me together in 100 year.

56. He always sits still until he is tempted. He was indomitable until he was tortured!

Please don't call me an otaku, please tell me to close the house. Please don't call me a house girl, please call me Madame Curie. .

58. Actually, I can't tell jokes, but someone always asks me to tell one, and you laugh before I tell it.

These years of experience have taught me a truth, that is, as long as you work hard, there is nothing in the world that you can't screw up.

60. I like you for a long time, and I have been waiting for you for a long time. Now, I want to leave, even longer than a long time.

6 1, artists tend to compete with each other. Fighting with each other is their business, and we are competitors.

62. A person must fall in love at first sight at least once in his life. In this way, I made many people's lives valuable.

63. I have always believed that happiness is something that happens when people fall apart and fall into trouble!

64. Collapse is when an old lady walks into KFC and says to the waiter, How can I get to McDonald's?

65. Break the wife's life tenure system and implement the aunt shareholding system. Introduce the miss competition system and promote the lover contract system.

Boss, is money really that important to you? You talked for more than three hours and didn't leave a penny behind?

If I become a personnel manager, the first thing I will do is to promote myself to the boss.

68. Buying a computer without broadband is like being a monk without eating.

69. Reality is like a stone, and spirit is like an egg. Although the stone is hard, the egg is life.

70. The tragic reason of love: if it is good, it will not give each other space; If you hate it, don't give each other a chance.

7 1, when in love. We promised to get married again in our next life. After marriage, we often suspect that doomed love was made in a previous life.

72. I am poor, and so are my servants, gardeners and drivers.

73. My girlfriend is very kind to me. In order to let me celebrate Singles' Day, I called her last night and a man answered!

74. You don't need watery and sparkling eyes, but your eyes should also be affectionate and charming.

75, youth is short, confession should be early. Our slogan is: early confession, early refusal and early peace of mind.

76. Being rich means not being satisfied, while being expensive means being exquisite. Poverty means lack of knowledge, meanness means no backbone.

77. You don't need a bunch of lips and two rows of teeth, but your speech should be elegant, refined, witty and funny.

78. I prayed to Jesus to give me a stable life. He thought for a moment and said, let's talk about world peace first!

79. I am a piece of toilet paper, facing my face, touching my ass, and finally jumping into the arms of the trash can.

80. People invented clothes to hide their shame, and then took off their clothes because of fashion. The relationship between civilization and clothing.

8 1. Toasting is an art, spelling wine is a technique, getting drunk is a deception, and not being drunk for a thousand cups is a self-defense technique.

82. There are two kinds of girls who are the cutest in the world. One is beautiful. One is smart, and you are a smart and beautiful girl.

Honey, you must believe me. I'm dizzy even by boat, not to mention having two feet on both sides.

84. The sun shines on the earth! Welcome to the theater! If you want to ask me who I am, my nickname is Little Gong Li!

85. The pain of life is that after experiencing a super storm, not only did I not see the rainbow, but I also caught a cold.

86. Fans are like flowers in a flowerpot. They are very kind to my brother. Everyone says you are a fan, and I think you are better than my own mother.

87. A quarrel can't beat my wife, so after every quarrel, I will secretly improve my wife's electronic weighing scale by a few kilograms!

88. I am bold, far-sighted, practical, with excellent taste but diligent in introspection. Although I have many shortcomings, I still hope everyone will be honest!

89. First love, goodbye infatuation, worry all day long, want to win the heart, take great pains, want to rush the heart, don't you know my heart!

90. You come from Yuanmou, Yunnan, and I come from Zhoukou, Beijing. Let me hold your hairy hand! Love! Let's walk upright!

9 1. Water is scarce in the ocean, but abundant in the desert. Chickens are small among cranes, but big among quails!

92. The three tragedies of the dinner party: the person to be invited didn't come, and the person who came has nothing to do with you, leaving you awake when you check out.

93, baked sweet potato, this thing was like an adulterer and an adulterer in China proverbs. Stealing is not as good as stealing, and fragrance is not as good as taste.

94. Marry a man like the national football team. They take care of their families and insist on not traveling in Asia for decades. Such a man should be cherished.

95. Shareholders have all heard that they are making money, and they have all suffered losses. Don't believe when the bull market comes, and don't admit when the bear market comes.

96. God will regret that he didn't give people a wagging tail, thus reducing the effect of many expressions.

97. Find a beautiful one when you are young, a hardworking one when you get married, a rich one after divorce, and a ghost when you die.

98. Dad has the habit of grinding his teeth. When he was a child, he woke up and his mother was gone. He saw his father gnashing his teeth and thought that his father had eaten his mother. He cried bitterly!

99. The wife said to her husband: You are responsible for making money to support the family, and I am responsible for being beautiful. My husband pondered for two seconds and said, you are really like a flower.

100, contentment is a sweet preservative; Understanding is a panacea for resolving disputes; Freshness is the sensor of life; Touching is the thermos of emotion.

Various moods, various classic phrases.

1, every emotion is beautiful, and every journey is charming. It is the regret that we can't have that makes us more concerned; It is those sleepless nights that make us miss it even more. Emotion is an unanswered answer, and hard pursuit can't make life more complete. Perhaps a little regret and sadness will make this answer sheet more meaningful and eternal.

2. We have seen too much parting and separation in love, and the painful plots and falsehood in various movie scenes. We have summarized all kinds of love stories, but when you are in them, you will understand that true love is very simple, with only two words: the future.

People who have experienced too many beatings in love will feel insecure in love. They like to test, pretend to be critical and indifferent, and constantly test each other's tolerance bottom line. When they are at ease, it is when the other person is chilling.

4, the most familiar things, the most likely to produce strangeness. People close at hand are the hardest to understand. From a psychological point of view, the longer two people get along, the less interested they are in getting to know each other. So there is a blind spot of love. The farthest person in the world may be the closest person to you.

Youth is a journey that can be started continuously. Sometimes I think the scenery along the way is not so beautiful, it doesn't matter. When you have youth, you have the right to return to zero! Let's go, while you still have many young people to splurge on. Don't live up to God's most precious gift!

Gradually, I realized what a touching sentence it is to laugh through tears. Everyone who has experienced it knows that smooth sailing is not necessarily happiness. In other words, this is also a kind of boredom. None of us live for turmoil. But because of the turbulence, we clearly realized that we were still alive. The highest reward in life is the moment when sadness turns into happiness.

7. Some people like to play a game that has nothing to do with love and marriage. In other words, psychological and physical needs can be met without negative love and responsibility. There are no rules and passionate games that have nothing to do with love, just to satisfy the physiological release of some people who have failed in marriage and no longer believe in true love. But this meaningless and emotionless game really makes these people addicted.

8. Love is never meaningful. You can't get hard work. If you can't keep your lover, let her go. The dignity of pain is also a kind of generosity. If you keep working hard, love will only get farther and farther away from you.

9. Most of the most amazing things in life are wrong. On the wrong road, there are often rare scenery. Most people don't succeed because they are too afraid to go the wrong way, so they dare not move forward. Success is not never making mistakes, but continuing to stick to yourself after making mistakes. People who have never trudged on the wrong road can't really take the wrong road right.

10, I obviously liked it very seriously at that time, but I was afraid to say it to my face. Now you can say love to your face countless times, but you can't be serious. Am I the only one who realizes this? I don't think so. This is everyone's initial expectation and final regret.

1 1 is missing, which brings lovers closer together. Love has a mysterious magnetic field. When you miss someone seriously, that person will definitely feel it. Many people complain, "Why is there less and less tacit understanding between couples?" Then think about it: How long has it been since you seriously missed someone in this impetuous era?

12. Youth is the most heartless thing in the world. When it is closest to you, it will deliberately tread lightly and let you squander it. All the best times in the world are like this. When you realize its beauty, you are usually halfway through. When we were young, we were too eager to fill out a life answer sheet. Rushing to maturity, I forgot to enjoy the glory of the moment. Suddenly woke up from a dream, youth, just ended.

Love is like a war of aggression. After a long time, his habit is your habit; His ease is your laughter; His depression is your decadence. Do you have a choice? Can you resist? All avoidance only makes you change from a comfortable prisoner to a lonely wounded soldier faster.

14, as long as life, some people just pass by and walk side by side for a while, and some people will accompany them to the end. Being lovelorn is not a disaster, nor is it destruction, but an intermission, so you can stop and think about how to do it well. Once hugs and kisses, indifference and shoving made you open a window and close a door. In the end, you have the whole world.

15, because it's you, I don't want to say anything, just watch you keep silent. Watching you and his back go away. Turn around, put away your smile and let yourself cry. After crying hard, laugh again and be brave again. In my world, I can live without you.

16, when you meet the feeling of true love, you suddenly break into another life without warning, unprepared, strange and surprised, shy and frightened, flustered and surprised. In this love, you find that the soul without love is so lonely. This love is so pure that there is no other purpose. You forget what he has, only know what he is, and don't bring you anything for him, just want to do something for him. Life blooms because of him!

17, many times, it's not love, it's love, just don't know how to express it. I thought you knew. You should know. However, in repeated misunderstandings and cold wars, what little trust we have left has been exhausted. Finally, we became the most familiar strangers.

18, just overestimate the life span of love. Being young means not knowing how to sayno. Being young means distorting yourself to please the person you love. Youth means love. Being young means believing lies. Youth means naivety and stupidity. How nice to be young! But how sad! This is the pallor of youth.

19, love is vigorous, which means that you can love the same person 1000 times and 10000 times in your life, instead of loving 1000 people and 10000 people without restraint. The world is full of desire, not love. Sometimes, you forget yourself, you forget the whole world, but in your heart, there will still be a person who is indomitable. This person must be your favorite person.

Of course, having such a person is an indelible mark of life. With him, everyone else in the world can be ignored. Even if I can't catch any clues about love, I am deeply grateful to him for accompanying me through a long life. Even if people look back at the past at dusk, they are glad that someone shed tears for him.

2 1, to make love simple, you'd better choose the object that suits you. A person who is truly worthy of love and knows how to love in return will make love simple. In this way, two people don't have to guess their thoughts or worry about their whereabouts at ordinary times; Don't be afraid of being provoked unintentionally, and don't doubt the motivation to do anything. Between two people, I miss you a little, but I won't be sad.

22. Meet the person you met among thousands of people. In the boundless desert of time, you met them neither earlier nor later. There is nothing else to say, except to ask softly, are you here, too? Choose what you love and love what you choose.

23. The best love is that he is unmoved by ambition, not mercenary, and can cope with all kinds of challenges and temptations in life. When he is with you, when he is brilliant, he will be proud of your glory; When you are down and out, he will cheer for your disappointment.

24, two people who love each other, one party proposes to break up, and the other party's pain is certain. However, no matter how painful it is, when breaking up, don't talk hard with the person who once loved you and your love. Think about it, the person who can hurt you in this world must be the person you love; The person who can hurt you must be the one who loves you.

25, love is really a wonderful thing, with infinite magic, people are fascinated by it. When you get close to him, you find that it is really a love-hate relationship. But I firmly believe that if I love someone, I will love everything about him and will not change because of some worldly things.