Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Eager for five-person campus composition, high scores will be rewarded ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Eager for five-person campus composition, high scores will be rewarded ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Tang-Tang priest
Sun the Monkey King
Pig-Pig Eight Rings
Sandy
Bai-Bai Jingjing
[Narrator (Moderator): It is said that Tang Yan, a doctoral supervisor of Datang Institute of Ethnic Buddhism, took his three graduate students to the Western Heaven to learn from the scriptures. On this day, the four of them crossed Heifengling and came to a village where smoke curled up like an inn. Four people are tired from running, so let's rest here ...]
Tang: The ancient roads are sparse, and the bridges are flowing. Wukong, hungry, don't worry, go and make some fast food!
Sun: Master, aren't you losing weight? The burning fat of passion cost us a lot of money! Besides, today is Singles Day. You ate four fried dough sticks, four chicken legs, four boxes of popcorn and four candied haws!
(To the audience) Do you know why there are so many bachelors in Wu Da University? Because it is close to the "crowd light"! Why are there more daguang sticks? Because it is very close to the "Optical Valley"! Why are there the most bachelor's degrees in politics and law in Central and South China? Because it's next to the "Man Lake"!
Don: (impatiently) You monkey head, don't talk nonsense. Didn't you see the thin teacher (Wuhan accent)? On the Western Heaven Road, how many monsters and ghosts compete to see the elegant demeanor of being a teacher? How can they let people go home disappointed? !
(Catwalk around the field, stop and pose)
Sun: Yes, Master. I am on my way. Don't blame me for not reminding you when I'm full.
Don: You're getting annoying. Let's go!
Sun: Yes, Master. Bajie, Friar Sand, take good care of Boss Tang. I'll be right back. (Sun Xia)
Don: This monkey head, why is there so much bird talk in his mouth?
Pig: Master, he is not satisfied that I have passed Band 4, so he tries hard day and night to surpass me!
Don: Foreign slaves speak foreign languages, and you all speak foreign languages. You are all foreign slaves!
Pig: (singing) Although I am wearing a dress, my heart is still the heart of the Tang Dynasty. Why do I often cry? Because I love this land deeply. (narcissism)
Don: (covering his ears and twisting his head to one side) Hey, Bajie, look, isn't there a beautiful woman coming over there! (as a vision)
Pig: Master, really! Drift well! (as a swab)
Don: (shamefully, gently) Sin, sin ... Bajie, you are crazy again.
(Handing a handkerchief) Wipe the corners of your mouth ... but it's a pity that your skin is a little dark. ...
(Pig and sand are startled)
(A woman in white flies by)
Sha: Stop! Hello, little sister. How old are you? What's your name? Where are you from? Where are you going? Do you have anyone? What's in your basket? You know there are many monsters on this road, but it doesn't matter. I can protect you.
Bai: The young monk is welcome. My little girl's surname is Bai, and her name is Jingjing. She is Sprite-Jingjing is bright and cool.
(Three people are fascinated)
Bai: I'm going to Datang to take the computer grade exam. Are all the masters from the East Tang Dynasty?
Pig: Congratulations, you got it right! We are monks of the Tang Dynasty. I wonder what language this lady speaks.
Bai: Yes!
Tang: (shoulders shaking with excitement, eyes flashing) To tell the truth, our examiner is Sanjing's brother-in-law and the young monk's second cousin. They are all your brothers!
Bai: (Jiaosheng) Mom told me, fire prevention, theft prevention, brother!
(Everyone fainted)
Sun: (around the stadium) Who dares to harass? Master, don't worry! I'll do it! Sunflower acupuncturist!
(If you order a pig, the pig stays and the white one stays) Oh, no, it seems that you ordered a pig!
Pig: Don't call me aunt, just call me Bajie.
Sun: Sorry. I accidentally lost my contact lens on the way. I can't tell whose WHO is.
Don: This monkey is becoming more and more useless. Friar Sand, lend him my glasses.
[Zhangfan: Stop! Now break the commercial—
"I used to have a pair of exquisite contact lenses in front of me, but I didn't know how to cherish them. Now I think it's too late to regret it. If God gives me another chance, I will say to my glasses: I want to wear you! "
"F 1 17 brand contact lenses, a pair of top five pairs. Since I brought F 1 17 brand contact lenses, my waist has gone sour, my legs have stopped hurting, my feet have stopped cramping, and I am still full of energy. " ]
(Sha takes the glasses to Sun)
(Sun rushes forward to catch it)
Sha: (taking back his glasses) Do you want it? If you want it, just say it. How can I know what you want if you don't tell me? Although you look at me sincerely, you still have to tell me what you want. You said yes, of course I will give it to you. Obviously, if you want it, I won't give it to you. Do you really want it? Then you can take it! You don't really want it, do you? Do you really want it? ……"
(Sun has a splitting headache)
Don: (to himself) This sentence sounds familiar, as if I have heard it somewhere.
[Voiceover (Xu) rings: It is the legal person's responsibility to crack down on piracy, support genuine products and protect intellectual property rights! ]
Sun finally grabs his glasses, puts them on, rushes forward and stops.
Sun: It's you-Monica!
Bai: (coming to my senses) Steven! Is it really you? I thought I was dreaming just now, and I didn't dare to move, for fear of waking up from my dream.
(Zhangfan and Xu sang Titanic music, Sun Bai looked at each other and made an emotional statement)
Pig: Oh, my God! Couple! !
Don: (wiping tears) It's so touching. I haven't seen such a touching scene since I saw the story of jacket and shredded pork!
Sha: (handing a towel to Tang) Master, don't make people laugh. That's the Titanic.
(to the audience)
Last time I passed Dahua Cinema, he dragged us to see it and cried himself ... Alas, my master is too sentimental. ...
[Xu: Hey! Now enter the advertisement-
"Heart-to-heart towels are healthier to wash!"
"I am a soul mate!"
Pig: Brother, this is ...?
Sun: Monica and I went to college together. ...
Bai: At that time, Steven was the physical education committee member in the class, and I was the representative of English class. ...
Bai: He takes me home every night.
Sun: He calls me every night.
Sun: We always like to take a walk in the Woods at night. ...
Bai: He always tells me ghost stories, which makes me very shy.
(Three people are fascinated, Sun Bai is remembering)
Pig: I see. Brother monkey likes singing:
Only you can make my sky bright, only you can make me ...
Sun: Hum, you dead pig, you have gone too far! (Hit him far with one hand)
Sha: Since we are acquaintances, then ... Oh, no, monkey, you are not human, so Miss Bai. ...
Don: Friar Sand, this is your problem. People are born of mothers, and demons are born of mothers. Being a demon is like being a human being. You must have a kind heart. With a kind heart, you are no longer a demon, but a shemale. Miss Bai, what's your mother's name?
In vain, he vomited in pain, turned his head, gave up, and changed his face. )
Don: (yelling, falling backwards) Please escort, monster!
Sun: (in a dilemma) Monica, I'm going to the Western Heaven with Master now, so don't embarrass me for old times' sake. ...
Bai: (singing) "Holding Wowotou, tears can't stop flowing downwards, since I left you-"(everyone vomited wildly)
500 years, 500 years, Steven, do you really not miss me at all?
Sun: Things have changed. I'm not who I used to be. Your old boat ticket can't get on my broken boat. Why should you? ...
Pig: since ancient times, feelings have been idle, but this endless sadness has continued ... Miss Bai, in fact, I am in the same boat with you. ...
Sun: Shut up! You pig!
Don: Wukong, this is your fault. Miss Bai is so infatuated, but you are so heartless and don't understand amorous feelings. Oh, my God, Earth, my God! (Friar Sand continues to pass the towel to Tang)
Bai: Steven, I'm not here to arrest your master this time. I just want to tell you that there is another person in this world who will miss you forever. Since you are bent on moving closer to the organization and pursuing progress, I can't stop it. I'm ... I have to go.
(Take a few steps and turn around quickly)
(Singing) Please be happier than me.
(Go, turn around)
If you need anything, call me.
(Go, turn around)
Motorola pager, sending messages anytime, anywhere. ...
(below)
(Zhangfan, Xu Singing: Keep my sadness to myself ... Four people are relatively speechless ...)
Don: (Hands folded) Life is precious, but love is more expensive. If you want to learn from the scriptures, you can throw them both! Wukong! I think you’ve put your finger on it. Amitabha ... Now, let's go! (snapping your fingers)
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