Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Where is my hometown Moon Bay?
Where is my hometown Moon Bay?
There is a hill to the north of Moon Bay. The mountain winds down to the west, and several orchards are planted on the hillside. Then go west to Qili, a small town called Baoliang. There are many lotus ponds scattered in the south of the village, surrounded by willows of all sizes, and the oldest one is as thick as three people folded.
Under the willow tree, Zhu Xiao was making a willow flute. He lowered his head and carefully cut it with a knife, then blew it into his mouth several times. It seemed dissatisfied and threw it impatiently into the water. There were already many willow flutes floating on the water. Rippling ripples overflow round after round, breaking the sunset glow of the pool.
"Ayou," he looked up and said, "I don't want to go to Shaolin Temple either."
"Huh?" A child was lying on a branch, and half of his face was red and swollen. Originally, four partners made an appointment together, and two of them have changed their minds and gone home.
"Mom will cry to death. Besides, my roof is always leaking, and they are afraid to climb it. If I leave, no one will go up to cover the plastic sheets on rainy days. "
I really haven't seen anyone who can cry more than his mother. He always cries. Although Zhu Xiao is only 12 years old, he is already the only man in the family.
"This is what I saved. I will pay your travel expenses. " Zhu Xiao carefully took out a cloth bag from his close-fitting pocket, some don't give up. He took out a few pieces from it, hesitated and stuffed them back.
"Aren't you going to buy books?" A You caught the small cloth bag that was thrown up, and there were many coins in it. He knew that Zhu Xiao had been saving money since he was very young and wanted to buy a whole set of story books.
"It's a long way to Shaolin Temple, isn't it? You take it first, and I'll deposit it. Summer is coming, you can pick up the cicada's skin and dig in front of the car. It's a pity that you are not here, otherwise no one can surpass us. I'm sure I can dig more dicks next year. There are as many eggs as sheep dung in that graveyard in Houshan. I lost some leg bones there, saying they were dead bones, and my sister and those girls were afraid to dig them. "Zhu Xiao couldn't help feeling proud at the thought that all the girls were scared away." I'm going home first. Don't forget to write. "Zhu Xiao can write letters, and his mother asks him to write letters to his uncle in the northeast coal mine every New Year.
After Zhu Xiao left, Ayou turned over and lay on the branch again. The wicker has grown, and summer has come. At that time, there were many interesting things: swimming, catching fish, baking frogs, picking wild fruits, sticky cicadas and looking for melons in the wild. . . . . . He suddenly doesn't want to go to Shaolin Temple. Why did he go to Shaolin Temple? He is already the head of the children in the village. Although his father is fierce and his third brother hates it, he always says that he is not good in front of his parents, but he can't beat them after learning martial arts, can he? Besides, as long as he doesn't make trouble outside, dad won't lose his temper. Third brother will also help him make slingshots and teach him to fish when he is happy.
But this time, he got into trouble again. He forgot how the hive of hibiscus willow was knocked over. All he remembers is that the black bees threatened to cover them. They just want to see if the queen is wearing a crown. Although they still want to see if they can put some honey on it, they don't want to knock down the hive. Just like the other day, he just wanted to teach that hateful guy a lesson, but he didn't want to break his head, but he was always unlucky! This time, I was stung and swollen by a bee, so I couldn't help it.
The sun sank a little, the setting sun slowly dispersed, the birds returned to their nests, and the evening breeze was a little cold. Ayou shrank her shoulders, and her stomach had been screaming for a long time. Seeing the smoke rising in the village, he was even hungrier. He began to miss his mother's cooking and secretly expected someone to come to him. He can't walk home by himself. He's too humiliated. Absolutely not.
Ayou climbed down from the tree and sat by the pond. He doesn't want to miss the people who come home because he is in the tree. The half-curved moon rose slowly, and unknown insects began to bark in the field. The surface of the pond is like a mirror. Occasionally, a small fish timidly poked its head out, immediately circled with its tail, and then got into the water. It's hard to believe that before long, there will be countless sharp and delicate little lotus flowers scrambling to get out of the water and stretch and grow in the sun. When the dark green leaves covered the water, he, Zhu Xiao and Daidai took the lotus leaves, fished with homemade fishing rods and waded into the middle of the pool. At that time, they were no longer afraid of the old people who looked at the lotus pond. They can only shout at the coast: these rabbits are smoother than loaches. Once, a little frog jumped on his lotus leaf, which swayed and tilted with the frog's weight. A few drops of water rolled down his shoulder along the slope of the leaves, vaguely revealing the frog's calf from behind. He could see his head held high, his chin stretched and contracted, and he tried to stretch his stubby neck and cried happily. He stared at it in surprise and held his breath quietly. At that moment, he felt that he was about to become a burden.
Actually, Ayou prefers autumn and winter. When the water in the lotus pond was drained in turn, the men shook their trouser legs and sleeves and dug lotus roots in rows. The children picked up the dug lotus root while holding a washbasin or bucket to catch the overturned loach. At this time, the loach became lazy. They often focus on finding loach and forget to work, which makes adults yell, but the cry is sweet. The women gathered in the nearby pond to clean up. When the black mud was washed away, white lotus roots appeared, white eyes surrounded the washed away black pool water, laughter and a thick muddy smell. Every year, strangers come to do odd jobs to earn money, bringing many fresh jokes and stories. Once a foreigner laughed at the lack of strength here. The men were not convinced and decided to win or lose wrestling. His father fell six times in a row, and he was very proud that day. After returning home, my mother stopped my father and their four brothers in the yard and forbade them to enter the house. While checking their hands and feet, she sighed:
"God, look at what kind of family I married. Are you digging lotus roots or playing with mud? "
The five men looked at each other, smiled knowingly, and made no noise. The tacit understanding makes them men in the same camp. Being able to enter this camp makes Ayou feel high.
A You couldn't help laughing. He smiled and found himself alone by the pool. Dad came angrily when he heard that they had knocked over the honeycomb of the kidnapper willow. Fortunately, he runs fast.
"Run, if you can, don't come back to this house."
He was very depressed when he remembered his father's scolding. He touched a stone under his ass and threw it angrily into the water. Looking into the village, some people's lights went out and dogs barked less, but no one came yet.
"Will you leave me?" Strange ideas surfaced. Mother often complains at the dinner table: "Four sons and four wolves came into the world to torture talents. You little bastard is a baiwenhang, what trouble you have caused! I started wasting money before I was born. If I had known, I wouldn't have left you. "
Ayou's mother is the only daughter of a family in the village, and her father is a foreigner. One year, he and his fellow villagers came to Moon Bay to dig lotus roots, and he fell in love with his mother. Later, he was adopted as a son-in-law and became a butcher in the village. Everyone in the street calls him Zhu San. In his early years, Zhu San met a fortune-teller in the street, saying that he was handsome and blessed, and that he was destined to have four sons. Although this Zhu San was born with a big back and a generous personality, he has been sulking because his son was adopted, and he was secretly happy at the thought of having four sons hold their heads high for himself in the future. When the first child was born, he really looked like a son. According to the clan generation, his son's generation is' De', and the eldest son's name is Zhu Deli. His wife gave birth to Zhu De Zheng and Zhu for two consecutive years, which means "Race to the Top". He told everyone that street fortune-tellers were reincarnated by Zhuge. Who knows that his wife stopped working after giving birth to her third child, which made the neighbors in the street tease him for several years. In the sixth year, his wife's stomach swelled unexpectedly. At this time, family planning has begun. Before he gave birth to Zhu Deyou, he took his wife to hide in Tibet, completed the great cause of fighting for the upper reaches, and washed away the teasing for several years. However, it was fined heavily as a bad example. This makes Ayou another crime in her mother's eyes.
My stomach hurts a little and I'm shivering with cold. "I must be bored, don't want me." Ayou became sad and forgot the trouble he had caused. He only felt that he was a poor abandoned creature, and finally he couldn't help crying. When he wiped away his tears and looked up, he found a girl staring at him, and a pair of lamb-like eyes reflected in the moonlight.
"See what see! Go away. " When a girl sees you crying, you suddenly feel embarrassed.
The little girl stepped back and turned to look at him again.
"Don't go, or I'll beat you." At the same time, he waved his fist. He doesn't know whose girl this is.
Hearing the word "hit", the little girl turned and ran. He wiped away his tears and walked into the yard not far away. There are some woodpiles, and there is a bird's nest they dug up in the woodpile. He is going to sleep there first. When I looked up and saw approaching the yard, I saw a man limping away, accompanied by the girl just now.
Kidnapper willow! Actually, I found myself here. Ah, you took a good look and ran away.
Most of the children in the village are afraid of kidnapping willow, and Ayou is also afraid. Children have a lot of rumors about him, saying that he is good at hitting people, so his dumb wife fell ill because of his beating. He also said that he would steal the dead children and bury them under the apple tree in the middle of the night, so that only his apples grew best in the village. Guaiguailiu was brought back from a foreign country by a lonely old man who looked at the orchard. He was thin and small when he first came, and his legs were lame at that time. No one knows the reason for his lameness except the old man. He doesn't like playing with children of his own age, and lives in an orchard on the west slope with the old people. Before his death, the old man married a Sargam in the town, and Sargam gave birth to several children for him. Only one girl supported him later. Because she was born on the night of August 15, she was named Yue Yue.
"I will run faster when I see wild boar in the future." The kidnapper Liu shouted behind him.
"Wild boar?" Ayou has heard that there are wild boars with green mouths and fangs in the mountains behind, and they will come out to feed on a moonlit night. Children haven't seen it, and the more vivid it is, adults will be happy to watch those crazy children go home honestly at night. A You looked around, there were shadows everywhere, and he couldn't help but stop.
"Not long after the spring, the wild boar became interested in Russia, and its appetite was big enough to eat two legs."
Ayou saw the girl clutching the corner of the kidnapper willow tightly, and then looked at her legs. Just when he felt that he was too timid, the kidnapper Liu came over and grabbed his hand: "Go home, you are still hanging out so late, and your family should be worried." Ayou tried to take his hand out, but Liu, the kidnapper, firmly grasped it.
"Why run, man? If you dare to make trouble, you must dare to be responsible. "
Ayou was a little ashamed and was finally dragged home by the kidnapper Liu. Mother saw him and rushed up to take his hand:
"Little ancestor, where have you been? Go to the kitchen and keep the bones for you. " Back to Zhu San shouted, "don't let me find it! Look at how frozen the child is. In case of any accident, it will not end with you. "
A when you hear her mother say that, your heart warms up. It turned out that her mother didn't want me. The earlier tension and doubts suddenly dissipated and were all replaced by grievances. She sobbed and went to the kitchen.
"You see, women are unreasonable and children are spoiled. I want to take him to your house tomorrow to make amends. How much is the hive? Although they are brothers, we still have to sort things out, don't worry. " Said while greeting the kidnapper Liu Qu to sit down.
"It doesn't matter, the hive is not broken. The queen bees in both boxes were there, but some bees escaped and were recruited back. Don't scare the children. If he hadn't gone to the lotus pond to look for ducks every month, he might have slept in the woodpile. "
"There must be damage. If we should, we must pay for it. " Zhu Sanjian, take it
"It would be nice to trim it a little. If you really mind, let the children help me pull the grass. When it rains in spring, grass grows faster than anything else. Her mother has made some old mistakes these two days, and my legs and feet are not agile. It's getting late, so we won't stay much longer. "
Zhu San sent their father and daughter to the alley: "I'm sorry. Let them go first thing tomorrow morning. If you need your strength in the future, just ask, and my four boys will send you, lest they make trouble every day. "
Seeing off the kidnapper Liu, he came in with a black face and watched him enter the house. His wife quickly pulled Ayou into her arms: "The child has suffered, so don't fight again."
"It will hurt him. Look at him now. He is the devil in the world. The kidnapper Liu is counting on these bees and apples to support his family and visit his wife. No matter how strong he is, he can't stand the hardships. " Zhu San gave A You a hard look: "Tomorrow I'll take those guys to the orchard to pull weeds, and I'll break your feet if I make trouble again."
……
I don't know anything else, hehe
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