I want a song that makes me want to cry, and some jokes that make me laugh non-stop. If you have any, please send them to me. Thank you.

The violent temper of the little ant

An ant saw an elephant walking towards it. It buried its body in the soil with only a strip of hair exposed. The rabbit asked it why, and it Say, shush, don't make a sound, I'll kill that bitch!

The next day, the rabbit saw an elephant burying itself in the soil with only one leg exposed. He curled his lips and said: "Yesterday that damn ant knocked my brother down and turned him into a plant elephant. I want to avenge my brother! At least I'll give him a schizophrenia!"

The rabbit came across in a hurry on the road. The ant kindly asked him to avoid the elephant. The ant sneered: "Damn elephant, you really don't know how to appreciate it! Let him pat his butt and go away! Be careful that I am not polite to him! He is running wild on my territory!" "

As a result, the ant walked over angrily, and when he raised his foot, he tripped and broke the elephant's exposed foot!

It turns out that these ants are imported. The elephant said: "I am convinced! Even the moon in the United States is rounder than the moon in China, so of course the ants are too!"

The ants are big The elephant was seriously injured. In the evening, the rabbit saw ants swarming past the door of his house. The rabbit hurriedly asked one of the ants: "What are you doing with so many ants?" The ant replied: "The elephant fell and was injured." We are in urgent need of blood now. Let’s go donate blood to the elephant! Rabbit: "? ￥.-**".

The next morning, the rabbit saw the ants coming back in great force. Then he asked one of the ants: "Why are you all back?" Ant: "tmd, so many brothers have gone and their blood types are different from those of elephants. Only one ant has the right blood type, so we kept him to donate blood." , we are back~! "

The rabbit fainted after hearing this...

Not long after the elephant was discharged from the hospital, he gathered all his brothers and sisters and gathered all the people he could see. The ants peed in their holes. When the rabbit saw it, he was very puzzled: "The ants donated blood to you kindly, why did you retaliate?" The elephant said angrily: "This is the most poisonous trick of the ant. The ant who donated blood has AIDS." ."

The next day, the rabbit found that the ants had died in large numbers, so he ran over and asked. Ant Cloud: "The peeing elephant is from Beijing, there is SARS!"

Such revenge

A 5-year-old child went to a five-star hotel< /p>

His manager said: "Find me a girl."

The manager said: "We are a five-star hotel and there are no girls."

So the child Throwing out 5,000 yuan and saying: "Is there a lady?"

The manager said: "Yes."

The child said: "I want to be sick."

The manager said: "There is no sick person in our five-star hotel."

The child threw out 5,000 yuan and said: "Find me a sick person."

The manager said: "Someone is sick."

The child asked the manager: "I had an affair with the sick lady. Am I also sick?"

The manager did not dare to speak.

The child threw out 5,000 and said: "Am I sick too?"

The manager said: "That's not a runaway child. I will definitely take it, I will definitely take it."

< p>The child said: "Then I did it with our nanny. Is our nanny also sick?"

The manager said: "Then she didn't run away, I will definitely take care of her, I will definitely take care of her."< /p>

The child said: "Then our nanny had an affair with my father. Is my father also sick?"

The manager said: "Then he didn't run away, I will definitely take care of him, he will definitely take care of me." "

The child said: "Then my father and my mother did it, so is my mother also sick?"

The manager said: "If he didn't run away, he must be sick. , I will definitely take it."

The child said: "Then my mother and our driver did it, did the driver get sick?"

The manager said: "Then he didn't run away. , Definitely bring it, definitely bring it."

The child thought for a moment, patted the table and said: "Hmph! You stinky driver, I'll let you crush my little frog to death.

”

The gangster’s son’s school leave request note!!

Teacher Wang:

Hello. I want to ask for leave. Originally I didn’t want to but my father put me under protection yesterday. The fee was cut, and I couldn't find anyone today, so I was asked to make up for it.

Teacher Wang, please don't worry, I won't be hacked, even though I'm only in the second grade. But last year I had a fight with Xiaoqiang, who was in the next class. He was in fifth grade at that time. In the end, I beat him and dragged him to the hospital, where he needed eight stitches and stayed in the hospital for a week. At that time, I still showed mercy. My father said that you must be ruthless when making trouble with others, so I followed my father's gentle teachings and sent Xiaoqiang to the hospital. So please don't worry, I won't embarrass you.

By the way, Teacher Wang, if someone bullies you, tell me my name. Anyone who listens to my name will respect me. If they don't respect me, tell me my father's name. Look. Who dares to touch you?

Teacher Wang, I will rush back to school immediately after I finish helping my dad. If the principal comes and finds that I am not here, don’t tell him, because my dad was the one who was raped by the principal yesterday. The bastard brought someone to chop him up.

Teacher Wang, please don’t worry, I will keep your words in mind, [one step at a time, one scar at a time] I will not show mercy.

< p>If I don’t come back within two hours, please call Teacher Wang and send a few messages. Please believe me, Teacher Wang, I will return triumphantly.

I must help my father say this, and I believe you will advocate justice for my father. A family of six depends on my father collecting protection money. Now that someone is making trouble, it’s time for me to show my face. Besides, if I don’t Go kill that bastard of the principal. He thinks my family is easy to bully. This will cut off my family's source of income. I went...

Brother... no... we are. ..

She still remembers that day...

It was a hot afternoon,

I had a quiz today, so I went home early

< p>When I got home, my brother was already back

He seemed to be lost in thought (maybe he was hungry)

Brother, are you hungry? I'll go get it? Rice, you can eat it later...

(Brother did not reply to her)

She went to the kitchen to prepare the dishes

After a while

There seemed to be someone behind her. When she looked back, she suddenly appeared behind her.

Phew! Brother, please say something next time. I was scared to death

< p>(Strange! Brother’s eyes were red)

At this time, brother suddenly grabbed her hand, and she was startled

Brother, he slowly took the hand Come out

As soon as she saw it, she knew what had happened

She kept struggling

Brother...it can’t work! We are brother and sister... If mom finds out...

But my brother didn't listen at all and went away

He kept begging her and she felt dizzy,

p>

It seems that she has lost the ability to judge

She actually made a serious mistake in such a daze

She regretted it afterwards...

< p>But she didn’t dare to tell her mother...

So she told her brother...

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.Brother! Next time you force me to sign a test paper you failed, I will tell my mother... /p>

(I want to face the wall for five minutes...)