Old father-in-law eats humorous jokes

Degang Guo Yu Qian's Talking about Festivals

Guo: Hello everyone (handover)

Y: Hello everyone (handover)

Guo: A year has passed quickly, and everyone is familiar with us. My name is Degang Guo, and this is my partner Mr. Yu Qian (pointing to one side).

Y: it's me.

Guo: We have been partners for eleven years.

Y: right.

Guo: Over the past eleven years, we have been very happy to come to Shanghai to perform for everyone.

Y: I'm very excited.

Guo: (pointing aside) Teacher Yu is very important to me.

Y: really?

Guo: It's also very helpful.

Y: You are welcome to point it out.

Guo: It's entirely my own fault that my grades are so small.

Y: you. . . . (speechless, wry smile)

Y: thank you. Let me give you an opinion.

Guo: You said

Y: Don't give me gestures without introducing me in the future, ok?

Guo: I'm not finished yet.

Y: oh, go ahead.

Guo: A monofilament can't make a thread, a lone tree can't make a forest, and it's covered with armor. How many nails can you drive?

Y: that's right.

Guo: (gesturing) Without the help of others, could we be where we are today?

Y: I dare not say so.

Guo: I want to thank my wife for taking the treasure of Shanghai.

Y: (laughing first, then helpless) Is there me here or not?

Guo: Is there?

Y: You mean me.

Guo: Without you (pause), I would have been popular.

Y: I've been fooling around here, haven't I?

Guo: No, just kidding.

Yes

Guo: Good buddy, good brother and good partner.

Y: it's a partner.

Guo: We have cooperated for eleven years and hope to cooperate forever.

Y: that's great.

Guo: How happy it is to be able to stand on the stage at the age of seventy or eighty.

Y: and a partner.

Guo: It is estimated that by that time, we will all be quite old.

Y: I was old then.

Guo: Teacher Yu is old, too.

Yes

Guo: But as it is now, it can still burn your head.

Y: I'm still perming. At that age.

Guo: But at that time, my hair turned white, and my head turned white and curly, just like Pleasant Goat.

Y: What's your metaphor?

Guo: Many people in the audience don't know much about Mr. Yu Qian. China talks a lot about cross talk, but few teachers can reach this level.

Y: You flatter me again.

Guo: Really, because their family is very big.

Y: Oh, good family.

Guo: For example, Lao Yu's family is very happy during the New Year.

Y: Everyone is happy to have a holiday.

Guo: Their home can be opened now, and they can spend money.

Y: Oh, isn't our family very rich?

Guo: Rich people will celebrate the Spring Festival, especially their families.

Yes

Guo: A famous family in the north.

Y: I dare not say so.

Guo: If anyone has been to Beijing, you can ask around. Yu Qian's father, Grandpa Sun, is in Beijing.

Y: Wait a minute (holding). Don't say that. My surname is Yu. Why is my father surnamed Sun?

Guo: Why don't you eat?

Y: If that doesn't work, you'll have to be surnamed Yu.

Guo: You must also have a surname.

Y: right.

Guo: Lao Yu, his father is really happy when it comes to the Spring Festival. Why, this person has no hobbies, but is willing to spend money.

Y: you can spend money on Chinese New Year.

Guo: Especially the New Year, let alone the New Year. It's always like this.

Y: and flowers.

Guo: It's not bad to get up early in the morning and give someone breakfast. It costs more than ten yuan.

Y: that's good.

Guo: How much can you eat, fried dough sticks and tofu?

Y: that's right.

Guo: His father gets up in the morning, and this breakfast costs several hundred yuan.

Y: Oh, that's quite a lot.

Guo: Get up in the morning.

What do you eat? (Interrupt)

Guo: Wash your face, brush your teeth and wash your feet.

Y: I wash my feet after getting up in the morning.

Guo: I forgot to wash it last night.

Y: Well, then don't be so picky.

Guo: I'm washing my hands. I'll bring rice when it's ready.

Y: not bad.

Guo: What a big bowl (gesturing)

Y: eat in such a big pot (gesticulating)

Guo: Braised pork intestines.

Y: eat this in the morning.

Guo: Yo, this cauldron is fresh. Sitting here "huh? DOG DOG ".

Y: My father also protects grain.

Guo: This is breakfast. You should eat something light at noon-steamed pork intestines.

Y: steamed and light.

Guo: The large intestine is cut in the morning, but it can't be cut at noon.

Y: What should I do?

Guo: The whole dish was in the basin, and a head was thrown at the end (gesticulating).

Y: then what?

Guo: Take chopsticks to find this head, put it in your mouth and use all your strength to "whoosh".

Y: My dad has a good appetite. Eat like this.

Guo: It's noon now, and it's even worse at night.

Y: What shall we eat?

Guo: large intestine sashimi

Y: raw.

Guo: What do you think, son?

Y: That sounds amazing, doesn't it?

Guo: Not only surprised, but also a little disgusting.

Y: I sound a little disgusting, too. How about sashimi?

K: Dip in some mustard.

Y: How embarrassing my father is today.

Guo: I wonder what life is like for you rich people.

Y: Who eats this?

Guo: Anyway, their family is very concerned about festivals. Just now, they just talked about their daily meals for a day.

Y: in the morning

Guo: His father is really happy during the holidays and the Chinese New Year. For example, at first glance, beginning of spring is today.

Y: Beij is called Da Chun.

Guo: The northern dialect is called. Yes, today is beginning of spring. We should celebrate. Northerners usually eat pancakes.

Y: Ah, it's also called lotus leaf cake.

Guo: stir-fry all kinds of vegetables.

Y: right.

Guo: Scrambled eggs.

Yes

Guo: Braised pork with pork knuckle sauce is eaten rolled. His father didn't.

What about our home?

Guo: Pancakes are too small to make people laugh.

Y: Oh, no identity.

Guo: Bake pancakes.

Y: How big is the cake?

Guo: Bake a cake with 40 Jin of flour (gesture).

Y: It can't be such a big cake.

Guo: The bread is too thick to finish. Be applied at night.

Our family sleeps in a cake at night.

Guo: There are four people in the family. Killing four cows is not enough to eat.

Y: Hey, I can eat.

Guo: Snails.

Y: Snails, does that man eat snails?

Guo: It's spring break, a small solar term, and it will be May 5 in a little while.

Y: That's May Day.

Guo: Dragon Boat Festival in May.

Y: right.

Guo: Eat zongzi and drink realgar wine.

Y: ah, it's exquisite

Guo: I am very happy at home.

Y: happy again.

Guo: Pack half a ton of zongzi.

Y: Half a ton each.

Guo: There are two jujube trees wrapped in zongzi.

Y: Put jujube trees instead of dates.

Guo: After eating zongzi, drink two glasses of realgar wine.

Y: Have another sip.

Guo: His father is sitting here, feeling very depressed.

Y: depressed?

Guo: Hey, ask Yu Qian to talk to me. I want to ask you something.

Y: good.

Guo: Hello, son.

Y: Well, why don't you say it when you are in a hurry? Don't tell me, okay?

Guo: The stage performance is fake. Don't take it seriously

Y: Nonsense, whoever is serious, you will not delay if you rush over and say so.

K: All right.

Y: don't get me wrong.

Guo: (turning to the other side) Hi, son (turning around again)

Y: it's me again You need to talk to me. Ah, you are so disappointed.

Guo: It's normal for you to watch TV dramas and movies. This plays the father and this plays the son. Why is it true?

Y: Nonsense, that's normal. I don't need it here. Just describe it.

Guo: Well, his father is depressed. Today is the Dragon Boat Festival in May.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: I feel very sad.

Y: because of what?

Guo: I thought of your mother this day.

Y: My mother.

Guo: Your mother is not from Beijing.

Y: that's right.

Guo: I live in Emei Mountain, Sichuan.

Y: Emei?

Guo: You also have an aunt named Xiaoqing.

Yu: Xiaoqing?

Guo: They traveled to Hangzhou that year, and I went there on business. I walked to the shore of the West Lake, and it rained. They borrowed an umbrella from me.

Y: Borrow an umbrella to swim in the lake.

Guo: I hope to have a beautiful marriage, but I don't want our neighbor to have an uncle Hai. . .

Y: Hey, here you are. Please, Haisir, what are you talking about? Are you talking about our home?

Guo: Isn't it?

Y: Isn't this the Legend of the White Snake?

Guo: Let me tell you a story.

Y: stop it.

Guo: May Festival used to be the Mid-Autumn Festival in August.

Y: That's August Festival.

Guo: On the Mid-Autumn Festival, the whole family was very happy.

Y: Everyone is happy.

Guo: You can eat moon cakes.

Y: Yes, pay attention to this.

Guo: They eat different mooncakes at home.

Y: What's the difference?

Guo: I'd like to order.

Y: this is very important.

Guo: Ladies and gentlemen, when it comes to customization, it's a question of identity.

Y: that's right.

Guo: People buy moon cakes, but they don't.

Y: what about us?

Guo: The largest pastry companies will make molds, fillings and noodles for you respectively. A moon cake costs more than 5000 yuan.

Y: how much is it? Identity?

Guo: The whole family made it. His father asked one by one: What kind of stuffing do you eat? Oh, you eat fish stuffing

Y: moon cakes with fish stuffing.

Guo: You eat well with kidney stuffing. Oh, you eat mustard stuffing.

Y: Dunamo has a heavy mouth.

Guo: I eat noodles.

Y: Isn't that just a cake? What's with the dough?

Guo: This is a moon cake. It will be more exquisite when it comes to the moon cake box.

Y: Why do you care about this box?

Guo: Our mooncake box is made of wood, plastic and iron.

Yes

Guo: They are all ordinary. They use the best.

Y: what?

Guo: Redwood.

Y: Oh, that's hardwood.

Guo: lobular rosewood

Y: more classy.

Guo: Most people make furniture.

Yes

Guo: They use it to make mooncake boxes. Look, such a big box has a moon cake in its rectangle.

Y: how nice!

Guo: Some people say that I don't know whose it is after it is covered.

Y: how to distinguish?

K: That's all right. Who ordered it and posted a photo? Too rich.

Y: It's not so bad to be rich.

Guo: This is especially true during the Spring Festival.

Y: Spring Festival is a grand festival.

Guo: lanterns are hung inside and outside the house.

Yes, yes.

Guo: Their family bought tens of thousands of lanterns alone.

Y: The yard is big, too.

Guo: The house is big.

Y: that's right.

Guo: From a distance, the fog is bright. Seen from a close distance, the tile bulges like a spoon, just like a whole brick.

Y: what you said is not big. My whole family lives in a cricket nest.

Guo: No.

Y: It seems that the whole brick is buckled, so big (gesticulating).

Guo: Very, very big.

Y: that's right.

Guo: The old house? There are five rooms in the main room, which go out from the corridor in front and the mansion in the back. The east wing and the west wing are equipped with rooms and wings. There is a toilet in the kitchen of the East Hospital and a kitchen in the toilet of the West Hospital.

Y: Hey, is everyone straightforward?

Guo: I think so.

Y: This is the kitchen and that is the toilet.

Guo: Looking into the room, there is a hole in the open air in China.

Y: what's this?

Guo: The Eight Banners are placed face to face. Jun kiln bottles and Lang kiln cans cover bowls.

Guo: For Gu's fruit bowls and antiques, there is an eighteen immortals table in front of the case, with a Taishi pear chair on one side and a fragrant handkerchief pad on the other. There are many satin quilts and satin plates hanging on the wall.

Why did you pee on the kang?

Guo: What are you hanging?

Y: The quilts are all on the wall.

Guo: I think so.

Yu: the paintings and calligraphy of the nominal person.

Guo: There are many famous calligraphy and paintings hanging on the wall.

Yes

Guo: The beauty, the landscape of Mi Yuanzhang, the fan of Liu Shi 'an, a pair of iron treasures, the bamboo of Banqiao, and the word "tiger" written by Song Zhengdian are the inscriptions of Emperor Qianlong.

What did you write?

Guo: One world, one dream.

Y: I haven't heard of it.

(This is my own call)