Black others, say black friends and tell jokes.

Talking about jokes from black friends

1. The flight attendant has a high probability of meeting Fu, because the flight attendant has a lovely appearance and elegant manners. In addition to these appearance advantages, flight attendants will control attractive makeup, and websites that like big coffee shops are also important factors. No matter how attractive you are, it's no use reluctant to spend money on cosmetics. How do stewardesses throw money? Airport duty-free shop, you know! Study and you can conquer Gao Shuai.

Alcoholics applied for a job in a wine company and tasted more than a dozen wines. All the drunkards said the year and degree of the wine, and the examiners were shocked. The manager winked at the female secretary, who handed her a cup of urine. After drinking, the drunkard said: female, 23 years old, pregnant for 2 months! Suddenly the whole audience was silent. The drunkard thought that the application failed and said angrily, if you don't give me this job, I will tell the father of the child! Several leaders present said in unison: "You have passed the exam!

3. "Don't you come over!" She said seriously. He nodded and said nothing. She is not at ease: "Go a little further!" He smiled and said, "Shall I close my eyes?" "Then turn around and close your eyes." He turned around and said helplessly, "What are you shy about after being together for so long?"? You won't look fleshy. " "Hum!" She ignored him, then pouted and stepped on the weighing machine in front of the street drugstore.

In fact, the gossip of relatives and neighbors is really terrible. When I came back from school, my relatives asked me if I wanted to sleep with the dead. I said, "No, I only have two bodies all my age. I said that the school is very strict with these protections. If the teacher doesn't take you to class, it will be difficult to get in without doing some study. " I explained this very clearly, but a few days later I heard my neighbor say, "XXX's daughter is very powerful, studying medicine and following."

50 years of tears, my left hand is busy, my right hand is busy, looking at the bed and thinking about my hometown. Tears come first, Gao Fushuai, evil as a wolf, with a beautiful face, Bai Rushuang. Wipe paper towels and dye heavy makeup. Looking at the next room, I was in a hurry and got out of bed with my pants. Wolf smoke suddenly rises, clear spring flows, I sigh deeply, how can I forget ~ ~

6. Xue Manzi incident, the mainstream media is full of expressions and righteous words, but the direction of attack is open to question-he is an American, and it should be Obama who feels sorry for this incident. At least Locke should come out and apologize to the people of China and be a good China. How did he become like this after he entered America? It is sad that such patriotic materials against American imperialism are wasted.

7. 1) Don't hit subordinates. Getting paid doesn't mean selling your personality. 2) Don't always go to the company to visit your family, especially if your wife is beautiful. 3) Deal with the estrangement with colleagues in time, don't hold grudges too much and die without knowing it. 4) fire people and talk well. Everyone left, saying it was bad for others. This is not good, and it is even worse to lose your life. 5) Never, never do bad things with subordinates.

8. Watching this trial is basically equivalent to watching it for 24 hours. Desperate Housewives, Friends, House of Cards, Game of Thrones, Negotiator, Criminal Psychology, The Vampire Diary, Gossip Girl, Lost, Homeland ... American dramas are all weak, okay?

As a college student, I don't want to start school yet. What qualities do you have? Is there anyone you like on campus?

10. When I said I wouldn't go to class this afternoon, my father slapped me: "There is no future without class. How many times do I have to say it? " Burying my face, I said, "History class is in the afternoon." He slapped again: "No history class!" I finally couldn't help hitting him back: "But I am a Chinese teacher!"

1 1. God is fair. He gave you a superhuman appearance, a loud voice, strong muscles, a tall figure, a strong personality, and countless lovely girls around you, but your gender is female.

12. Lu Xun: The soldier died, and the first thing the fly saw was his shortcomings and scars. Well, Ying cried, thinking he was proud, thinking he was more brave than the dead soldiers. But the soldiers were dead, and they stopped waving them away. As a result, the fly cried even harder, thinking it was the voice of a fairy, because it was completely above the soldiers. Indeed, no one has seen the shortcomings and wounds of flies.

13, passing by the park downstairs, accidentally passing by a mother and son. My son is playing a remote-controlled racing car and has been asking his mother to help him look at the racing box. Mom was finally amused by him and said, Oh, don't worry, no one stole your game. As soon as her voice fell, I picked up the box and ran, giving the mother a vivid lesson.

14. When Lu Xun was a child, he often got up early to buy medicine for his sick father. Once he bought medicine, and when he went to a private school, he had already started classes. Seeing him late, the teacher criticized: "Teenagers still sleep late." Lu Xun listened, made no excuses, silently returned to his seat, took out a knife and carved a word "grass" on his desk.

15, the head of Huashan Sect was closing his eyes and meditating, when suddenly seven disciples rushed outside the door: "Master, Master! Great! The big brother and the little brother ... committed suicide in the Woods behind ... hanged themselves! " "Alas ... villains ...", the shopkeeper sighed, "Let them go ..." The seven disciples who came to inform looked at each other and silently withdrew. The next day, the chief found nine bodies in Houshan.

(Master asked his disciples to go with his brothers and sisters ~)

16, tutu pestered her father and asked, "Where am I from?" At first, Father Rabbit patiently explained, "You picked it from under the mushroom." Later, when I got bored, I couldn't help cursing: "Son of a bitch, you were born in the days of Lao Tzu. Go and play! " After listening to the cry, the rabbit ran frantically to the nearby stump and hit the wall. Father Rabbit panicked, hugged him and said, "Are you crazy, son?" Little rabbit squeezed out a smile and said, "Japanese goods." (Cherish life and love your country)

17. When Xue Manzi climbed the mountain at six o'clock, he met a monk. Seeing that he had something on his mind, the monk pointed to the huge ladle floating in the jar and asked, "How can I keep it from getting wet?" Xue Manzi pressed a button, and the ladle floated up, so he had to forget about it. "The monk smiled and grabbed the ladle. Xue suddenly realized: you mean that only when you are out of the environment can you not go with the flow? The monk smashed spoons into his face: I mean, you will be arrested for whoring sooner or later!

18 A diaosi invited a beautiful woman from the English department to dinner. In order not to expose diaosi's identity, she talked about the European debt crisis and occasionally mixed with English words. Beauty really adores him! After breaking up, he received a message of "wall, eyes, knees" from a beautiful woman, but he searched all the code books and couldn't find the answer, so he replied: "You are so humorous" … and then the tragedy happened! Loss of wisdom hurts tears.

19. Listen to two old people chatting in the evening. Have you ever heard of Xue Manzi? B: Anti-Tang from Xue Gang? Xue Gang killed the prince and went to Man Zi, Xiliao, known as Xue Manzi in history. Nonsense, Xue Manzi is a big Internet V..b: Tennis player, two sisters, Serena's sister? A: Not a tennis player, whoring. B: Women still go whoring? Oh, I remember, a female student went whoring with a male teacher, and the male also sued for money.

20. "Stop squeezing!" A girl yelled at me on the subway. I was afraid that others would misunderstand that I wanted to take advantage of her, so I quickly explained, "It's rush hour. With so many people, crowding is inevitable. " "That * * don't squeeze the acne on my face? ! "

2 1 That night, Cai Se and her roommate Li Zi drank some wine and revealed that "I have the habit of sleeping naked." Plum smiled and said, "I know, you sleep like a log every time." Say that finish two people are one leng. Cai Se stared at Gigi Lai's smiling face and said slowly, "... did I find the reason for my back pain every day? …

22. Uncle Gao hates Xue Manzi the most, because Aunt Gao is his die-hard fan. I'm 60 years old, too, surfing the Internet. Not only did I accomplish nothing in my career, but the posts I worked so hard to write did not come back. Writing reviews is often scolded by others. Xue Manzi was caught whoring, which is his happiest thing these days. He always uses it to stimulate his wife. Aunt Gao didn't care at all, retorted: people can still go whoring at the age of 60, and you dare to laugh at people when you pee at the age of 60?

23. Big nephew, if you send something with independent thoughts, you will soon become a customer.