The most humorous and funny 1 thousand cold jokes

The funniest 1, cold jokes

When you meet a hooligan, you are in no hurry. Meet a beast and enjoy it slowly. Meet the Q traitor and go against him. Is it funny? Let's enjoy the most humorous and funny 1 thousand cold jokes!

The funniest 1, cold jokes (1)

1. Little Swallow, wearing a flowered coat, comes here every spring. I asked Swallow why you came, and Swallow said, Here? The mountain road bends eighteen times.

2. Q: Is it rare for a girl who doesn't want to have sex with you easily? A: No, it only shows that she has read the instruction manual of ATM thoroughly.

3. Chinese characters are really profound! ! Gao Shuai Fu: Won! Bai Fumei: Hey! Male diaosi: slap! Female diaosi: Hey! Older female diaosi: Mao!

4. Q: Can lust be changed? A: Dong Fangbubai used to have this problem, but later he didn't.

5. There are always some people who are crazy without touching them. Some people, who have never loved, are tired of sleeping!

6. Mother-in-law picked up a sweater needle and tattooed four big characters:? Have a house and a car? .

7. Ever since I learned the eighteen palms of the dragon, I found that there are no dragons in this world. Now that I think about it, it is more practical to hit the dog with a stick.

8. You said you wanted to have sex, but you didn't bring a condom. Now you're pregnant, and you don't want to have a baby. The funniest 1, cold jokes (2)

1. In class, the teacher is explaining to the students? Rome wasn't built in a day? The teacher asked: Do you understand?

A student raised his hand and said, Teacher, how can freezing a few feet be a cold day?

teacher:?

2. Teacher: Are you sad that you failed this exam?

Pupil: I'm fine, but my father will feel sad.

teacher: what can you do to make your father not feel sad?

Pupil: As long as you don't take exams in the future.

3. Xiao Pang ate red bean ice while cleaning, and was found by the teacher.

The teacher said to Xiao Pang unhappily. Is it too idle?

Xiao pang answers:? Teacher, not idle, it's sweet! ?

4. On Monday morning, the children came into the classroom excitedly. The teacher gave them last weekend's homework: sell something, and then talk about their views on selling things.

Xiao Li spoke first. She said:? What I sell is the children's favorite dessert, which goes to 5 yuan. ?

the teacher commented,? It's good. ?

Xiao Li went on to speak. She said:? I sold magazines and made a profit in 45 yuan. I explained to people that magazines can keep them abreast of current events. ?

the teacher said again? It's good. ?

Xiaoqiang's turn finally. He stepped onto the platform, poured out a box full of cash and said, 5 yuan. ?

the teacher exclaimed:? What exactly did you sell?

Xiaoqiang replied? Toothbrush. ?

the teacher asked:? How can you earn so much money by selling toothbrushes?

Xiaoqiang proudly explained: I set up a food stall in the most lively place on the street to let pedestrians taste food for free. Everyone who has tasted it will say that it tastes like feces. I told him, this is feces. Then, I asked, do you want to buy a toothbrush? The funniest 1, cold jokes (3)

1. The less things you have in your head, the more tricks you have in your head.

2. Master, can I swipe my card? Yes ... Not a meal card!

3. I propose that we play a game before eating again. Please close your eyes when it is dark. . . . . . Please open your eyes at dawn ~ and settle the bill by the way, 398 yuan, thank you!

4. Sometimes it is right to give up. However, giving up the choice is definitely wrong!

5. Desire is a fishing net, oath is a slip of the tongue, and ideal is to leave home.

6. Mental patients think that 2 plus 2 equals 5, while mental patients think that 2 plus 2 equals 4, but they are all troubled by uncertainty.

7. Under normal circumstances, the eyes are black and the heart is red. Once the eyes are red, the heart will turn black.

8. After dinner with friends, the waiter holds the bill: 25 yuan, sir. The friend is angry: the calculation is wrong! Calculate again! After a while, the waiter came back and said sincerely: Yes, sir is 25

9. The son asked: What is kidney calculi? He said: When you pee, a stone comes out. The son said anxiously: Dad, be careful not to hit your foot when you pee!

1. Are you hungry? I have cold granules here! Would you like a drink?

11. Ordinary me, ordinary drag, ordinary beauty I don't dump!

12. After marriage, two flies argued about where to go for their honeymoon trip. Finally, the male fly took the map of the world and decided to travel around the world for 8 days. The female fly nodded and attached: Shenzhouxing, I think so! ;