Tell jokes in class

The story of alcoholic Bob, alcoholic Henry and smoker Simon

A painter can't tolerate students smoking in the studio during class. Once, Simon secretly found a cigarette and lit it in meditation, which happened to be seen by the painter. He walked over with a serious face and asked sarcastically, "What are you going to draw with this pen?" Hearing this, Simon used his quick wits: "Professor, cloud, cloud!" " "

Simon said to his wife at home, "honey, I just threw away my cigarette." "Congratulations, dear! This is called the power of will. " "No, this is negligence. Help me find cigarettes before the house catches fire. "

Simon was very angry when the foreman saw him smoking in the workshop. He shouted to him, "Mr. Simon, you can't smoke at work!" " ""Yes, so I don't work when I smoke. "

Henry asked Bob, "Who invented wine?" Bob: "Well, an ancient man named Gao."

Bob met a friend and insisted on going to his friend's house for a drink. Friend: "My home is too far away." Bob: "Never mind, it's only twenty or thirty miles away." "My house is small and difficult to entertain." "Just let me have a place to talk." "But my family doesn't even have a wine glass." "Never mind, I'm used to drinking the whole bottle!"

The director shouted at drunken Bob, "Look, we are late again! If I am drunk like you, I will jump off the building! " Bob: "Mr. Director, if you are as drunk as I am, you can't jump off the building because you can't even find the window."

When Henry was a soldier, an officer said to him, "Henry, if you don't drink, you are definitely not a soldier now." You may become a non-commissioned officer or even an officer. " "Sir," Henry said, "I feel like a colonel after a glass of wine!"

One day, Bob was taken into the police station. "Why are you here again?" Asked the policeman. "Two policemen sent me, sir." Bob said. "Are you drunk?" "yes. But this time it's not me, it's them. "

Henry: "Bob, were you drunk again last night?" Bob: "How do you know?" "My cat ate what you vomited last night and hasn't woken up yet."

Bob got drunk in the bar again and saw the moon when he came out. But Bob couldn't tell whether it was the sun or the moon, so he asked a man who had just entered the pub, "Hey, is it the sun or the moon in the sky now?" This man is Hunter. He doesn't want to talk to Bob. He said, "Sorry, I'm a stranger here. I don't know if this is the sun or the moon. "

Henry and Bob drank together and got drunk. Bob asked, "Do you know what time it is?" Bob: "I know." "Thank you!"

My wife doesn't like Bob drinking. One day, she saw a news in the newspaper and said to Bob with the newspaper, "Look, how dangerous it is to drink! The newspaper said that a drunk was on a boat, fell off the boat and drowned. " "Let me see-oh, he was not dead before he fell into the river. He drowned. How can you blame the wine! "

The wife said to Henry, "Look, the newspaper talked about many disadvantages of drinking." He handed the newspaper to Henry. Henry said after reading it, "I want to make a decision!" " ""What is the decision? " The wife was overjoyed. Henry: "I'll never read newspapers again!" " "

Henry walked into the pub and just sat down when he suddenly saw an angry Bob tied to a post with a rope. He asked the boss, "What is this?" "Oh, he's drunk and making trouble." Henry looked at the cup for a while and said, "All right, boss, please prepare another rope."

During the intermission in the theater, Bob went to the lounge and bought a bottle of beer. The wife said, "You promised me not to drink for two months! It's only a month now. " "Dear, the first act and the second act are introduced in the leaflet one year apart!"

Henry: "Old friend, why do you always wear gloves when drinking recently?" Bob: "My doctor forbade me to touch the glass again."

Wife; "How do you drink water through a straw?" Bob: "Because the doctor told me to stay away from alcohol."

Doctor: "Bob, your illness has basically recovered. Now, you can drink a small glass of wine during the day. " "That's great! How many drinks can I have in the evening? "

The professor is giving a speech about abstinence: "Think about it, if there are two barrels, one full of water and the other full of wine, what do you think he will drink?" "Drink water!" Bob in the audience shouted. "Why?" The professor asked expectantly. "Because it is a donkey!"

Bob tiptoed into the bar and shouted, "Dude, have a good brandy." Henry: "Why are you walking like this?" "My wife told me last night not to set foot in bars in the future. I will keep my promise. "

Bob ordered two glasses of wine at the hotel, and the waiter said, "Mr. Good Wine!" " ""no! Bob said, "One glass of wine represents me, and the other represents my sick friend Henry." . A few days later, Bob went to the hotel again, and only had one drink this time. The waiter asked, "Is your friend ... dead?" "No, I gave up drinking. "

Henry: "Do you have many friends who drink?" Bob: "Yes, before my money runs out."

The wife took a sip of vodka from Bob's glass and frowned and said, "This wine tastes terrible!" " ""yes! Bob said, "but you still nag me about drinking and having fun!" " "

Henry: "You only drink two glasses of white wine every night. Why did you ask for four cups today? " Bob: "I thought two cups would be enough, but my wife is not satisfied." "What do you mean?" "As soon as I get home, she always complains about me:' Shit, I'm half drunk again!' "

Bob was drunk again. On his way home, he asked the policeman, "Can I go back to my home along this street?" Policeman: "Where is your home?" "If I knew where my home was, I wouldn't have to ask you."

A friend advised Bob, "Don't drink too much! You see, the cloth that covers the jar mouth in the hotel will soon become moldy. Isn't it more dangerous for people to drink often! " "No, you see, the meat in distiller's grains will not go bad!"

Child: "Why should I wipe my cotton ball before the injection?" Henry: "That's alcohol. You anesthetize your ass first, and then it won't hurt. " "But I still hurt?" "That's because you can drink a lot."