Looking for interesting English jokes

1. "You say you like rain, but when it rains, you open your umbrella.

You say you love the sun, but you find a shadow point when

The sun shines brightly. You said you liked the wind, but when it came, you closed the window. That's why I'm afraid when you say you love me, too. "

You say you love rain, but when the drizzle falls, you open your umbrella;

You say you love the sun, but you hide in the shade when the sky is empty;

You say you love the wind, but when it blows, you close the window tightly;

So when you say you love me too, I will be very worried.

My feelings for you can't be expressed in words, except "go to hell"

My love for you is beyond words,

Except "fuck off"!

My dear, my love, my beautiful wife: Marrying you ruined my life.

My dear, my love, my beautiful wife,

You ruined my whole life.

Love may be beautiful, love may be happy, but I slept with you only because I was drunk.

Love is a blessing from heaven, how beautiful love is,

But I only slept with you because I was drunk.

5. Kindness, intelligence, love and hotness; This describes everything you are not.

Kind, smart, affectionate, sexy,

It's a pity that you don't take any of these.