You can go to Beijing

Yu Shide narrates.

I said this cross talk took place in Nanyuan, which is 16 miles away from the city, just outside Yong 'an Gate in Beijing. Which village? I can't say this. As soon as the quarrel goes out, my family will have to find someone to beat me. Because the joke is too big!

In that village, there lived a rich man, the old man's surname ... "Kun", called "Kun Ji Er Mu"! What a nice name! I dare not say it directly, so I have to choose a bird name. I will tell you his real name. I can't afford to offend people. They have more than 600 acres of dry land and 100 long-term and short-term workers. A son and a daughter, the girl married the police chief of the fifth district outside Qianmen! Although my son didn't read Thousand Characters until he was eighteen, his father was rich and his brother-in-law had the right. Scientific names are all good. The name "partridge" means longevity. The name given to the child is quite interesting. Haven't you seen the "partridge" in the advertisement? But people in the village don't call him tuba, and some call him "Yigu"! Some call him "Kezhen"-it's all animal names anyway! Don't force this truth. Just call him "Xiao Kezhen"!

One year, on the second day of the first month, Xiao Kezhen was called to the front by "Mu Er Mu". (backward) "son! After you finished breakfast, I put on your mother's new blue satin cotton gown and a dress cap. I also prepared a donkey and a mattress cover for you-put it on the donkey's back to pay a New Year call to your brother-in-law. Stay there for a few days, watch the streets, then go to the theater to listen to cheap plays and come back after the festival. Remember, don't forget, tell your brother-in-law, and ask him to send the police to help us collect debts after breaking the five cents! Do you understand? " "I understand."

The father and son are busy, taking the donkey to feed and repairing the mattress ... The man said, "Xiaoke's brother-in-law is the police chief of the outer five districts and lives in his house. Why do you need to bring luggage? " People are right about "digging wood". If they live in a child's house, they must be too dirty. If they stay in the store, they have to spend a few cents on bedding every day, so if they take luggage, they will save ten dollars and eight dollars-more than ten miles, Xiao Lv will carry it and the children will pull it. While cleaning up, the old man told him, "My son, don't be careless after you lead the donkey on the road!" " You can't just look forward. After three or five steps, you have to look back at the mattress on the donkey's back. Don't let go of the reins even if you move forward! -There are too many thieves on the road! ""dad! I can't be fooled! " "Don't forget to pay New Year greetings, regardless of age. Anyone older than you will get' lucky money'-give as much as you can! " After the charge, Xiao Kejie took Xiao Lv with a mattress on his back and left!

This little owl really listened to his father's words and turned around step by step, almost holding the donkey down! Then something happened. From Nanyuan to Avenue, out of Bali, to Dahongmen. There is a small enterprise on the west side of Guandao. What do you do? Tea bar. A small facade, a small mat shed was set up at the door in summer, selling tea, wine and side dishes, such as cucumber and fried bean sprouts. As soon as it was cold, the small mat shed at the door was removed, and wonton, noodles and sauced meat were added to the room. Tea and wine are available every day. Xiaoke passed by the door of this small business, neither thirsty nor hungry. He is at home in jiaozi, drinking tea and satiated with food. Slowly, strolling to the north, pulling the reins, with his back to the donkey. This move attracted the attention of two people. Who is it? There are two thieves sitting by the glass window of the teahouse. Why? Have a holiday.-Have a drink! Why do thieves still have holidays? One reason is that stealing people during the Chinese New Year holiday will be scolded every year-you can scold them for a lifetime; Next, during the Chinese New Year, it's not New Year's greetings during the day and night, but playing with money, so you can't do it! So they have their own holidays.

Zhang San and Li Si made an appointment: to have a good drink and a comfortable meal, so they left the busy downtown area, went out of Yongdingmen, went to the small restaurant in Dahongmen, and took out the sauce beef, chicken gizzards and pork liver they had with them. Each of them ordered two or three drinks and only took a few sips. Zhang San looked out through the glass window: It is said that Zhang rode the donkey backwards. How can this boy lead his ass backwards? "Li Si said," I look at it! Wearing such good clothes, walking backwards and falling down are not all dirty? " "It seems that it must be a rich man's son to visit the city! This business can be bought and sold! "Just like that, you want to steal! No, these two have had a few drinks and want to make a bet. Zhang San said, "He is two big things-a mattress cover and a donkey. Who will cover the mattress? Who will come to donkey? Li Si said, "Brother San, the donkey has four legs." . Pull it up and go. Do this work to save energy. Come on. The mattress cover is heavy. This is hard work. I will do it. "Zhang San said," Brother, we both do this, so don't let anyone control us! Mattress covers have been scrapped. Pick it up while he's not looking and leave. Donkeys are creatures that can kick and bite. Besides, this boy can't do it until night, at least when he's tied! Much harder than your mattress cover. "Hearing this, Li Siyi became more energetic. "So what? You take the mattress and I'll take the donkey. We need to talk. Me and my brother, who will take it off? Who can't take it down, how to eat it, and pay if you don't take it down! " Although the two brothers bet, they still discuss work. A discussion: "Let's do it!" After discussion, I paid for the drink and walked around the path to the front of the little owl.

Xiao Kezhen was walking with a donkey in his hand when he suddenly heard a thump from behind. Looking back, there were five big coppers three or four steps away from him, and there was another man walking askew, peeling peanuts while walking-it seemed that he had drunk too much and lost his money. Xiao Kezhen thought, "I won't tell him. If I drink like this, I may lose it. Now I pay for tea and snacks, and even the money for eating is paid after the water is fixed. " Thinking of this, I turned around, handed the donkey reins to my left hand, stretched out my right hand, and bent down to pick up the money. Five big coppers have been picked up, and Zhang San has untied the mattress rope tied to the donkey! As soon as Xiao Kezhen stood up straight, he saw that the drunk in front was digging peanuts again. Thought: there is a door, stare at him! Looking at the drunkard in front, I heard six drops again! I'm not busy enough! "One, two, three, four, five, six ..." After picking it up, the mattress cover is gone! It doesn't matter! When he picked up the fourth one, Zhang San carried the mattress cover to the reed pond on the roadside! A little owl had the heart to ask the person who saw it steal in the tunnel? There is no one around except the donkey in his hand! I had the heart to stop the drunk in front and ask ... another idea: when I asked him, I was afraid to remind him: "I have lost eleven big coppers!" " "I have to spit it out, that would be more trouble. The more I think about it, the more I scold myself: my father has never eaten full-time in his life, and I sell eleven coppers for a fucking set of luggage! The more I think about it, the sadder it gets. I sobbed and sobbed, while dragging the empty donkey to the north in frustration. Don't look back, the mattress cover is gone!

Li Si covered Zhang San and stole the bedspread. He was embarrassed. What happened? Although I carried a knife, I cut the reins with a knife when there was no one on the road, and the little owl could immediately find that the rope was light! For Li Si, this is nothing. After cutting the rope, he got on the donkey and ran, but he couldn't catch up. But if you want to catch it, it is a big sin-then put a word "catch"! But it's even harder to follow me to the store! The barns are all in the backyard of the inn! As he thought, he followed the little owl forward. Go to the moat of Yongdingmen, this is an opportunity! What's going on here? Is there a car on the bridge? At that time, it was neck and neck, you came and went, and you rushed forward! Sometimes there are too many chariots and horses, and the narrow road is "alive"! This is called a "car". Sometimes it takes two or three hours to remove it. Now I regard Mix as the second child. There are two carts in front, a "floor row", a unicycle on the right, four camels and a donkey cart behind. He pulled the donkey alone, and he couldn't get out or in. Li Si thought: Just right, but dare not move. Why? Many people are not afraid, because everyone is busy looking for an empty past, okay? Font color = "# 006699" > [14] Where is the ammonia? What are you talking about? ①① ⒛ ⒛? What is the bottom? Glance at the knife? Murder? Egg patrol cattle? Hey? How about iridium trillion of amine straw? ィ? A ditch alliance was baked? What about pure vinegar? Punishment? Surging alcohol? My mother is naive? Angry? What happened? Stunned, stealing a sedan chair? Embedded? What's the matter with you? Hey? Are you scared? Axillary? Hey? ね Small? ! Do you want to cut your lips? What's wrong with dragging Jan to climb the mountain? Lying? What's the matter with you? Hi? Dew? What happened? What happened? Ken. Smelting? Hey? Are you loyal? Are you stupid? Pu [file model? Is this custom about shaking and staring at the curtains? Hey? Cut the bed in a hurry? What is the value of glass neon? Hey? What's the matter with you? What does this sentence mean? Mantle $ naive? Playing $ naive? Good at locust frames? Do you spray dust on your ankles? Ian. What's the matter? Hey, the ring on the right? What happened? What happened to the cherry blossoms planted in Heong? W? Wyatt is afraid of sinking prizes, and gulls suck you. br & gt

The little owl pulled the half reins tied to the unicycle and gave someone a mouth! "Ah, the wheel, you left grinding! ..... handlebar! You dragged Huang Ma into your eyes! ..... You pull hard! Where to pull? Pull your hands in! You are so stupid! You horse, you might as well hide the donkey and obey ... what? The donkey is gone! " Look along the reins, the head is tied to the unicycle! "I said, you stole my donkey and let me give you a small condom? ! ""When did you tie the rope to my car? I don't know! Besides, if I push this little sweet potato, I can't afford to hire a small condom! " "What about my donkey?" "Your donkey? Even my car is not insured for this matter. Untie the rope quickly and chase the donkey! " "I don't have a fucking donkey. What do I need this broken rope for!" After that, throw away one end of the rope and go into town crying!

There is no need to squeeze into the city this time! Empty city plan! As soon as I entered Yongdingmen, I cried and scolded: "This is a great virtue that a childless child lacks. I'll sue you at my brother-in-law's house and arrest you. I will personally whip you with my brother-in-law's belt! " Then I'll bet you four years! "The cry more scold more scold.

Two brothers, send the donkey to the owner of the nest and make a bet on the next harvest. Because it is agreed that whoever can't get rid of it will be treated, but both of them will get rid of it. This is a draw. Li Si had another idea: "Third brother, this time doesn't count. If you can take off his blue satin cotton-padded jacket, we will be lucky tomorrow, and I will pay for it. " Zhang San said, "Brother, I can't get rid of his cotton-padded jacket in cold weather, so I give up. If you can get it off, mutton hotpot is my treat. " "Not blowing, I even took off my dress hat and changed some sugar and garlic!" Say that finish, the two brothers chased into the city! I caught up before I got to the Temple of Heaven. What a slow temper! Curse while wiping away tears! Li Si said, "Brother San, you lie on him. I'll come at once." Run to the front while talking! Where have you been? I went to a small shop in Tianqiaoer that rented quilts and mourning clothes. The man said, "Why are there mourning clothes?" At that time, the poor family died, and it was useless to make a mourning robe without three or two pieces. It's not enough to make a quilt, and it's too frustrating to make a lining for a dress. If you rent a piece with a deposit of a few cents, five big copper coins a day. Go back as soon as the dead are buried. Although the cloth is rotten, it is always washed very clean, which is considered as filial piety to the elderly and saves friends and relatives from jokes. Li Si rented a gown and a hat for six cents and five big coppers. He got dressed and went after Zhang San's little owl. This is a great effort. When you get to the mouth of the mountain stream, you will find Zhang San waiting there! "The boy cried and walked north along the brush market. You just go south to pick him up along the north exit of zhushikou's brush market. " Sure enough, Li Si ran to the brush market and entered the north gate. The owl across the street wiped her tears and scolded her for going north! "You won't die of natural causes ... please ... when I get to my brother-in-law's house in Cikou ... I'm going to see my brother-in-law ... whoops ..." I approached, and Li Si said, "Eldest brother, what is Daxin crying for in the first month?" "I cried? It's on you, and you still have to cry! I lost all my things in such a short time! Blare ... ""It's so sad to lose something? You see, my father swallowed his pride this morning, and now he has only reported half of the funeral and knocked over 80 heads. I'm still half done. I'm not as sad as you are. What's wrong with you? " "You are not the same as me. How much did your father spend when he died? It was also under the light, but I lost my money and I don't know who it was! Oh ... I don't know which bastard stole it. " "Young people don't suck! What have you lost? Where did you lose it? I can help you. " Like seeing his own brother, Xiao Kezhen even cried and complained: "My father is the richest man in Nanyuan, and my brother-in-law is the police chief in the fifth district ..." After telling the story, Li Si nodded and smacked. "Big brother, don't worry, I'm not bragging with you. My family has lived in Beijing for eight generations, which can be said to be old Beijing. Especially in the southern half of the city, I don't know all the people with poor education. If you lose something at Yongdingmen, I'm sure you will need a pin. If you lose it outside Yongdingmen ... it's either Wang Wu or Zhao! It's simple. Although they work outside the city, they live in the city. I will take you to Wang Wu first! After finding it, one of us will grab his cuff and go to court! " Xiao Kezhen listens: This is fun! I thought to myself: I'll tell him about Wang Wu first, that is, I'll get the things back and let my brother-in-law treat them well! "Eldest brother! That's very kind of you. What's your name? What is the size? " "I don't need your last name, May. I don't have a large size. My nickname is Yinger. " "Ha ha, mei ying son, this name is easy to remember. I will call you Mei Ge. " "To say. Let's go. " In a roundabout way, he took the little owl to an alley and pointed to the black door on the north side of the road: "Wang Wu lives in this yard. I'll go in first." As he spoke, he lifted the robe of filial piety. Just as he was about to enter the door, his legs came back! "No, Wang Wu lives in the backyard. I am wearing mourning clothes. As soon as I walked out of the front yard, it rained on the first day of New Year's Day. I saw who didn't scold me? " "What shall we do?" "Tell you what, lend me your cotton-padded jacket first, and I'll take it back and take it off for you." The little owl longs for something! Untie yourself at once, and you will tremble when you take off your cotton-padded jacket-it's silk cotton! Li Si said, "Brother, it's a little cold, isn't it?" Say, take off your mourning clothes and put them in Xiao Kezhen's hands! "Don't look, it's white coarse cloth, it's a little cold!" -Did you wear mourning clothes to keep out the cold? I am also cold and confused about a little owl. I'll put it on when I take it. "It's inappropriate for me to wear this filial hat to the hospital"-I can't say anything, the hat has changed! "Wait a minute, eldest brother. I will get it out in less than ten minutes. " Say that finish into the yard! If you want to be honest and trustworthy, it won't take ten minutes. I'll be out in a minute and a half! Just came out the back door. That place is a common entrance to Beijing! Xiao Kezhen is still waiting at the front door! From 12 noon to 3 pm! Think about it: the big cotton-padded jacket spun by silkworms, the cap head of cotton duck down in the dress and the filial piety hat of Five Blessingg were carefully washed, and all changed at once. Who can stand three days and nine days? It's so cold that owls are dancing in the alley! Why is he still in the mood to dance? No, when he is cold, his feet panic, and his upper and lower bodies have to move! (Action) "Ten minutes! ..... eighty minutes! ..... Also in the past! Why don't you come out? " -snot and tears are frozen! Passers-by saw him dressed like this. I also boasted in my heart: "That's it, such a son is still to be adopted. When the old man died, he burst into tears and wore heavy filial piety, so he was anxious to jump straight in the alley! " He doesn't know it's frozen! Seeing that it was past four o'clock-the sun was down on the mountain, the little owl couldn't collapse, so she blocked the door and shouted, "Brother Mei (Yin Mo)"! There is no shadow! "My throat is very dry! At this time, there lived a man in the front yard. The day before, his wife and children went back to their parents' home. He played cards all night. After dawn, he ate and drank enough and slept soundly! At half past three in the afternoon, I was a little sleepy. But I'm still too lazy to get up and have a hot New Year's Eve dinner. I heard someone shouting at the door after four o'clock! I just woke up and didn't know what to shout. Put on your fur coat, open the door and mumble, and come out. "What are you shouting in broad daylight? The street gate was not closed again ... "I looked up and got a fright! "Look carefully-I don't know. This is a big fire! " Oh! Grandson! On the second day of the lunar new year, what are you howling at my door? "Little owl, tell me what happened. This will understand: "silly boy, you have been cheated again!" "Our hospital is a hall door-people have left through the back door! Did you just say that your brother-in-law is not the chief of police? Go find him. He is in charge of this matter! " This is a reminder to the little owl! After wiping his hair, he went to his brother-in-law's house. The more I think about it, the more wronged I am, and the more I cry, the more sad I am. I went to his brother-in-law's mansion and saw that the door was closed. You rang the doorbell and he forgot all about it! While he was banging on the door, he cried and shouted, "Sister … Woo … Open the door quickly!" " "When! When! When! His sister went to dinner with her aunt because of her brother-in-law. She invited some neighbors to play cards in the main room! Suddenly, I heard crying and cursing outside the door. I thought to myself: Who dares to make trouble in the Governor's House? The valet went home for the Spring Festival on holiday again. I had to open the door myself. Unplug the street door and open it. I'm scared! Seeing my brothers wearing mourning hats, I thought it was an ominous sign! The little owl can see her relatives and cry, "Sister! Great, blare ... "I cried here and suddenly remembered the New Year! Climbing underground, kowtowing and nagging: "Great, it's all gone! Ha ... "His sister was even sadder. Isn't this shabby? -dutiful son's head is full of streets! I think: I went home to get rhubarb rice last month, and my parents were quite strong. Why did it all disappear in a few days? I have to ask who died first. Thinking of this, I wiped my tears: "Brother, don't worry, I ask you, did dad have it first?" Or did mother lose it first? "where! Donkeys without mattresses before! "