What kind of jokes are there by mistake?

1. If the son doesn't know the word "yuan", ask his father.

The father didn't know either, but in order not to lose face, he studied it carefully and taught his son, "I don't know anything?" Read "hey". "

The son pointed to an article in the newspaper entitled "A Wonderful Flower in the History of Literature-The Head Teacher" and asked his father, "Dad, what do you mean by saying that the head teacher is a wonderful flower?"

The father smiled and gently scraped his son's nose: "silly child, what do you mean?" This is a masterpiece of scar literature. It's both a scar and a scar. Just published, of course, is a new scar! "

2. Li Xiu went to visit Zhang Xianling, and Zhang Xianling went out, and his son came out and got the right answer.

The scholar asked, "Where is your father?" The son of the magistrate replied, "The magistrate's stick was put away because he was afraid of killing people with it." When the magistrate came back, the son told his father the questions and answers when the guests came.

The father said angrily, "Your father he asked is your father!" " The son said, "It was my father. I shouldn't have hit him. Why is this person still' ordering' me to' stick' (hit) you? "

Mingming's father is an alcoholic. One day, the father and son came back from the movie butterfly lovers and asked clearly, "Dad, people in the movies often say, see you under Jiuquan. Where is this Jiuquan? "

Dad said: "Jiuquan, in Gansu. That's a good place. Spring is full of old wine. The ancients loved to drink, so they went to Jiuquan to meet. When you are free, dad will take you to play. "

4. While visiting the bookstore, I heard a child screaming in front of the counter: "Auntie, I want to kill the pig myth."

I looked at my aunt in horror, and she followed the child's fingers on the shelf blankly. Finally, we all saw Greek mythology.

The couple were washing clothes in the house, and someone called her husband out to get something. When the husband left, he said to his wife, "It's windy today, and the clothes have been washed. Put it on to dry! " "

After washing clothes, the wife put on wet clothes and stood in the sun. The husband came back and asked her, "Why are you wearing wet clothes?"

The wife said, "Didn't you tell me to put it on and dry it?"

6. A young man and a young woman went to the township government for marriage registration.

Township Civil Affairs Assistant: "You are close relatives. According to the marriage law, close relatives are not allowed to get married and will not be handled. "

Young man: "No, my aunt and I are more than a hundred miles apart."

7. There is a man who can't read and often goes out to do business by boat. On this day, the boat was moored at Jiangxin Temple, and he and his companions got off the boat and wandered around the temple. When he saw the word "Jiangxinfu" written on the wall of the temple, he quickly turned his head and ran away, and whispered:

"Great, there are thieves in the middle of the river here, don't stay long!"

His companion quickly dissuaded him: "Don't panic, this is a gift, not a thief!" " "

He shook his head and replied, "Money or a thief!"

8. Ding Can the blacksmith can't read. He has been working while the iron is hot since he was a child. He has no name. Mr. Wang drew a word "you" on the ground and said, "You were born in this animal year, so call it a date."

Blacksmith Ding studied it for a while, patted his thigh and shouted, "Bingo! Yes! This' unitary' word is like an iron pier vertically and a bellows horizontally, which will last me a lifetime! "

9. One day, Mr. Shen wrote a letter to his friend Mr. Xiong. When writing the envelope, he forgot the four points under the word "Xiong" and wrote it as "Mr. Neng". Mr. Xiong looked angry and annoyed. He wrote a reply with a pen, deliberately writing Mr. Shen as "Mr. You" and saying:

"You cut off my four hooves, and I'll cut off your tail."

10, Aiko is a heavy drinker, and he won't stop until he gets drunk every time. His servant tried to persuade Ai Zi to give up drinking, but there was no good way.

One day, Ai Zi got drunk and threw up. His servant put his vomit in the pig's intestines and said to Ai Zi:

"You see, your five internal organs are dirty. If you don't give up drinking, it will be difficult to live. " Ai Zi said, "Tang Sanzang can only suffer from three evils. Am I afraid that the four dirties can't live? "

1 1. A female TV announcer seldom makes mistakes, but she made a fool of herself during a visit to the Soviet Union.

"Is there anything you don't know about Russian?" Asked a reporter who had seen her.

"Not at all." She answered confidently.

Teachers and friends worked hard to create and told a few jokes to entertain new teachers and friends who accompanied them all the way.

1. My colleague Lao Liang lives downstairs. His daughter is Liang Juan. One day, the teacher called Liang Juan, and the teacher called sandals (pronounced Juan carrying). The whole class giggled and knew it was Liang Juan. The teacher called many times, but no one answered. Finally, Liang Juan stood up and said, my name is Liang Juan, not sandals.

Second, there is a child named Bai Yuepo. Because the interval between the three words was not accurate, the teacher pronounced Bai Yuepo as a white belly, which caused the whole class to laugh. Since then, Bai Yuepo's name has become a white belly.

Third, my son has been married for several years, and my mother-in-law who is looking forward to having grandchildren is very anxious. One day, my mother-in-law asked her daughter-in-law, "You and my son are not?" The daughter-in-law replied "We don't want it, we don't want it", and the mother-in-law then asked "You don't want it, why not"?

4. wang xing and Zhang wanted to get married early. The Wangs told the Zhang family that their son was two years old. The Wangs say their daughter is only one year old. Then the Wangs said, my son is two years old and your daughter is one year old, which is half! The Zhang family also said that it was twice the age difference. When your son was 20, my daughter was only ten. No way!

An old man from the countryside is going to visit his relatives in Gaochao Village by coach. After buying the ticket, I told the female conductor that it was not my first time to go. Call me at the climax, and the conductor agreed. The old man sat down, waited for a long time, was a little anxious, and shouted at the conductor, is it the climax? Why not shout?

Tell a joke to make everyone happy!

1: One night, Xiao Zhang and his wife went to his office.

His wife suddenly looked up and saw a wooden sign above the door, which read "Feng Junmin".

My wife has an in-laws named Li Junmin in her hometown in the country.

My wife smiled and said to Xiao Zhang in surprise as if she had discovered a new continent.

"alas! Your unit also has a Ma Junmin! "

Zhang Yi listened to "Lindsey" and smiled.

"That's not a horse! This is a sentence from Feng! Two more tears than Ma! "

I came home from work that day and just walked into the living room. My wife was watching TV, and she said happily to me:

"Look, the TV is beautiful, very beautiful!"

"What TV?"

"Your Majesty!"

I sat on the sofa and began to watch. An anti-war drama is being staged.

The story of a dog helping anti-Japanese soldiers chase Japanese devils.

Looking at it, I suddenly found two words on the right side of the TV "Dog King!" " "

"How can you treat the dog king as king?"

I laughed till tears came out. My wife was very unhappy when I laughed at her. She even complained that I laughed at her!

3: Once, I took a photo with my mobile phone. I don't want it if it's not delicious.

At this time, a young man in the village saw him coming, and he gave me advice:

"Withdraw the book!"

I don't know what it means.

Fortunately, the brain is quick, and boy, he originally read "deletion" as addition.

I recognized half a word.

1, when I was about to go to kindergarten, I just knew a few big characters and loved to show off.

Once my grandfather took me by bus and stopped to wait for the traffic lights. I saw a billboard on the roadside and pointed to the words on it and read it out loud: "The Hongkong and Shanghai Banking Corporation Limited Xiamen Branch".

After saying his word, the whole car burst into laughter.

Grandpa looked out of the window intently, and the billboard read "HSBC Xiamen Branch" [covering his face].

……

When I was a child.

On the Lunar New Year of the Sheep, lanterns and colorful couplets are hung everywhere in the streets.

And I, just like my mother took me to a crowded shopping mall, read "Three Sheep Open Thailand" loudly as "Three Sheep Open Qin" in public.

Sure enough, it was another moment that caused everyone to laugh [I want to be quiet]

……

3. Tell me about my grandmother.

Old people are very concerned about national and international affairs. They often use their mobile phones to watch news and read it to their families.

However, the education level of the elderly is relatively low, and many jokes have been made. For example, she can pronounce "Diaoyutai State Guesthouse" as "Diaoyutai State Guesthouse" and "Linyi" as "temporary prayer".

Sometimes listening to grandma watching the news is the source of happiness for our whole family.