Weird and funny humorous copy

1. It’s getting cold. I originally wanted to buy a down jacket, but it cost more than 300 yuan. After careful consideration, I found that cold medicine only costs tens of yuan, so it’s a good deal to buy cold medicine.

2. Robbery in ancient times: I opened this mountain and planted this tree. I want to pass by here and leave money to buy the road. After hundreds of years of civilization, in today's society, robbery is like this: There is a toll station 500 meters ahead, please slow down.

3. Lu Xun once said: As long as you spend money regularly, your worries will be reduced by 80%, your EQ and IQ will be improved, and you will not fall in love with fire. But where the money came from, Lu Xun did not say.

4. I was shopping with my boyfriend. Passing by Hailan, I accidentally asked: "Are the clothes here expensive?" The second-rate boyfriend yelled: "The ads on TV say one year I only visited twice, do you think it’s expensive?”

5. Wife: Husband, I’m sick, I’m afraid I have to buy a bag. Husband: Can you tell me how these two are related? Wife: Haven’t you heard of the “cure for all diseases”? Then my husband came in with bricks. Wife: What are you doing? Husband: Cure all kinds of difficult and complicated diseases!

6. I finally figured out why I had to lick Oreos first, because that way I wouldn’t be afraid of someone snatching them.

7. Girls’ interpersonal relationships can be divided into three types: some people can meet without washing their hair, some can only meet after washing their hair, and some do not want to meet even after washing their hair.

8. A friend who studied Chinese medicine went on a blind date. When he came back, he disagreed with her. After repeated questioning, he told the truth, saying that when he held hands, he felt that the girl had a happy pulse...

9. Last night, several female colleagues had dinner together. Because the temperature of the air conditioner in the private room was too high, and they were eating hot pot, within half an hour of eating, all of them were sweating and stained their faces. They couldn't help but hurried to the bathroom. After washing my face and waiting for me to come back and sit down without makeup, the waiter who served the food was confused. He turned around and asked in tears: Where were the people at that table just now? They haven't paid the bill yet...

1 Before his death, the old man confessed to his wife: I once had an extramarital affair. Please forgive me! Wife: What a big deal, you can rest in peace! Which of our children looks like you?

11. Once I had a quarrel with my father. When I got angry, I said, "Dad, I am your biological child. You are scolding me like this." "You are not my biological child." You were born by your mother, don’t blame me.”

Twelve. The daughter-in-law updated her signature: I am willing to exchange 10 pounds of flesh for my mother’s one year of life. Then the mother-in-law commented from behind: My daughter, your mother, I don’t want to become a thousand-year-old demon...

13. When I was leaving the mall, the security guard at the door called me: "Wait a minute, your clothes are bulging with clothes." "What?" I angrily lifted up my coat and yelled, "It's meat, it's my own." 14. One morning, I was a little slow in combing my daughter, who was in the first grade of elementary school. Liao said: Mom, you have to hurry up, or you will lose both your life and money. Me: So serious? Daughter: Yeah! If I am late, I will be criticized and embarrassed; if you are late, your salary will be deducted and you will lose money. Without people and money, not only will people and money be lost...

15. Appearances are given by the previous generation, education is determined by the previous generation, concepts are taught by the previous generation, and the environment is Those left over from the previous generation actually have the nerve to say: one generation is not as good as the other.

16. I went to buy medicine last night. On the way, I met the elder brother taking a young lady for a walk. Little Shota: Dad, I did very well in the exam this time. My mother will definitely reward me with another 1,000 yuan. I decided to give you 800 yuan. The eldest brother kissed Xiao Zhengtai excitedly: "My dear son, you have worked hard."

Xiao Zhengtai said in a sigh: I work hard to earn money to support my children, and I work hard to study and earn money to support me...

17. I was drinking at my buddy's house. Suddenly my buddy yelled something bad, and his wife came back. I asked you how you knew, and my buddy replied: "I heard the sound of the sewer manhole cover downstairs. No one in the whole building except my wife could step on it..."

18. Before being single: Fan Bingbing In fact, he looks average; he has been single for one year: Yuan Lipi’s see-through outfit is quite sexy; he has been single for three years: he found that Grandma Rong’s profile is quite beautiful; he has been single for five years: Brother Chun is still quite feminine; he has been single for ten years: Sister Feng, are you married? She has been single for twenty years: This sow looks quite pretty...

19. Teacher’s home visit. Ask the students: Is your family happy? The student proudly replied: Happiness! His father came over and slapped him, "Boy, who asked you to change your last name!" 2 The word "piece" on the signboard of an "auto parts factory" lost its radical and became "cow". An old farmer saw it and muttered: This car parts factory A cow should at least give birth to a tractor!

Twenty-one. "I took the subway to work in the morning, and the bread I bought was squashed." "What's this, my situation is much more serious." "Why, your bread is like this too. "It's not bread. I wanted to fart, but I was forced to burp!" . My sister-in-law said: Brother-in-law, my colleagues say I am fierce. Do you think I am fierce? Before I could speak, I only heard my wife’s voice coming from the kitchen: If you dare to look at it, I’ll beat you to death!

Twenty-three. I helped my wife dig out her ears last night, and all she found was wet. I asked a question: Why was your earwax dry before you got married, but now it’s wet? Wife: It’s not like I’m crazy enough to marry you! well! Full of tears...

Twenty-four. Xiao Li went to his girlfriend's house for the first time, and her girlfriend took him to visit the neighborhood. His girlfriend said, "Have you seen that big open space on the side of the mountain? My mother said, as long as you marry me..." Xiao Li said excitedly, "That land is mine." His girlfriend shook her head and said, "Your gift money will be mine." Use it to build a house for my brother there."