Jokes about celebrating New Year's Day

1, my friend bought a rough fake gold necklace and wears it to work every day.

Once when I came back from the night shift, I passed a remote place and suddenly saw two boys coming towards him on motorcycles!

Seeing that they were going to grab the necklace, friends quickly picked it up and threw it into the grass next to them.

The two robbers jumped off the motorcycle and rushed to look for it without hesitation, and then their friends calmly got on the motorcycle and rode away.

The robber was stupid, and one asked, "Brother, what should I do?"

The other said cruelly, "Damn it, call the police!" "

2. The thief pokes the hairpin into the lock hole and rotates it clockwise 180 degrees. With a slight click, the door was opened. This is the fifth time this month that thieves have visited other people's rooms, and they feel more relaxed every time. The thief can't help but sigh: that bastard who makes locks harms others and himself. How to improve the level of theft for a long time? The thief frowned and worried.

The judge said firmly to the criminal: "All evils come from alcohol, and you will become like this, which is also caused by alcohol!"

"Thanks to the judge's teaching ..." The criminal replied happily, "Everyone says I'm a bad person. Only you can see through who is the real murderer! "

The judge asked, "Defendant, why did you steal the plaintiff's clothes while he was swimming in the river?"

"Your honor, swimming is forbidden in that place."