Yang Lan: How should a woman live after 40 years old?

What should a woman do with her life? Different people often have different answers. Some people think that as long as they can marry someone they love deeply, they will be happy even for life; Some people think that even women should remain independent forever, so they refuse to compromise easily and are determined to be strong women.

These living methods are not right or wrong, just different. In the eyes of different people, happiness often presents different looks. But when people reach a certain age, it is inevitable that they will look down and let go.

Because people's endurance is limited, only by moving forward easily can we go further. Many people say that forty years old is a watershed for a person. You can work hard and strive for your career before you are forty, but you will know how to enjoy life after you are forty.

The mentality at this time is more important than anything else. I spent the first half of my life trying. For the rest of my life, I will try to calm my heart and experience real life.

Especially women, should know how to live for themselves. Before forty, you were a dutiful wife, a qualified mother and a filial daughter-in-law. But after forty, please be sure to live for yourself once and be yourself once.

So what is the best way for a woman to live after forty?

In the book Happiness Answers, Yang Lan once put forward his own thoughts. She thinks that women should learn to let go after forty. Let go of some persistent and irrelevant past. Only by learning to let go can we be happier than before.

One: Let go of the pursuit of youth, getting old is the normal state of life.

In the TV series ipartment, there is an episode about Qin Yumo's birthday.

She was afraid that she was almost thirty years old, afraid that she would lose her youth and get old, so she resisted very much. I don't want anyone to remind her that her birthday is coming, and I can't accept others wishing her a happy birthday.

In fact, in real life, there are not a few women like Qin Yumo. I don't know when age suddenly became the enemy of women. Women are afraid to face their age, as if getting old is an extremely embarrassing thing.

But actually getting old is something that everyone will experience. More important than anxiety is how to face such an aging process calmly.

As Yang Lan said in Happiness Answers: "The most suspenseful thing in life is that we will all grow old, and the most suspenseful thing is how we will grow old. The appearance of a woman will change quietly in the years, and the bigger change lies in the mentality. "

Yes, everyone will get old, which is always inevitable. In that case, why not adjust your mentality to the best in this process?

Two: Let go of dependence on others and learn to rely on yourself.

No one can be our eternal reliance. Only by relying on ourselves can we live the best life. When people reach a certain age, they will suddenly find that happiness is not just a feeling, but an ability. How to make yourself happy is a problem that everyone should think about.

Sometimes, in the face of the same thing, different mentality will have completely different feelings. This tells us that we are not necessarily unhappy, but we ignore how to feel happy.

When a woman reaches the age of 40, the most important thing is to understand that no one will make us 100% happy. Happiness needs to be created and felt by ourselves.

If you want to live a better life, let yourself be a better self first. Love, friendship and affection are only a part of our lives, and they can't be with us forever until the end of our lives. Only by seeing this can we accept the changes in our lives.

It is an essential ability to turn yourself into an energy field, attract better people and live a better life.

Three: Let go of the attachment to the family and know how to show weakness.

Song Dandan once had three marriages, but the first marriage was basically paving the way for his future happiness.

Song Dandan's first marriage was not happy. When she first married her ex-husband, she was full of fantasies and expectations about love and knew nothing about many things in marriage.

In her limited cognition, she thought that loving someone means giving everything and doing her best to be nice to him, but later she found that the more she did, the more she wanted to escape. Because she loves him so much that she forgets how to love herself.

This kind of love makes people feel suffocated and depressed, so when they finally divorced, her ex-husband said to her, "Sometimes, I feel like a basket case, because I don't know how to take care of you at all, let alone what you want." You see, this is the result of loving someone too much.

During that marriage, Song Dandan monopolized all the housework, took care of the children and the elderly, and even helped her ex-husband find a job. But it is precisely because you don't know how to show weakness that the other person feels that his value is getting smaller and smaller. Only by showing weakness and letting go of high self-esteem can we give each other room to play their value.

Fourth, let go of the prejudice against "independence" and regain confidence.

True independence is not that you have a job and a stable income, but that you have an independent soul and independent thoughts. Even if there is no job, I will not feel inferior. Material weakness comes from wealth in money, but spiritual independence depends only on one's own heart.

So, don't misunderstand the meaning of "independence". Don't take work as the only important thing in life after forty. You should regain your confidence and think more about yourself. Let go of the tense nerves, enjoy life and please yourself.

In marriage, for couples, independence means not only economic independence, but "responsibility" independence, and they can be themselves confidently in front of each other. Will not impose their wishes on each other, but * * * and wind and rain, hand in hand.

Forty years old, real life has just begun.

For a woman, the most important thing you should do at this stage is to learn to please yourself and live your own life. You don't have to please anyone or pretend to be gregarious. Marriage is like drinking water, knowing yourself and yourself, there is no need to compare with others. When you learn to see through the above four things, when you learn to let go of one thing, your life will become broader.

Oscar Wilde once said: Love yourself is the beginning of a romantic life.

No matter what age, what a woman should do most is to love herself. When you start to set your eyes on yourself, you will find your infinite possibilities and find your charm in ordinary years. May we all listen to our hearts and live the happiest life in the years after 40.