A fatal joke, the last joke

Last month, I was shocked to hear that Qiang Ge, the former vice president of the court, died suddenly. He was as strong as an ox and would get a pension after half a year. I was sad to learn the reason, but I didn't think that if I didn't die, I really wouldn't die.

0 1 car

I went out for a walk last night and met my classmate David who works in the court. He said to me, "Do you remember your old and strong brother who works in our unit in Laojie?"

I said, "Of course I remember. Isn't he the vice president of your unit? "

David said, "Brother Qiang went to the second line five years ago and died last Monday. It's a pity that he will get his pension in half a year. He has paid his pension. "

I said, "Oh, how is that possible? Brother Qiang is as strong as a bear How can he just leave? "

David said, "He didn't die of wine."

I said, "I've seen Brother Qiang like to drink, because we used to drink together, but why did you say he died on wine?"

David said, "It is generally acknowledged that Brother Qiang is in good health. His height1.8m and weight1.60kg.. He usually likes sports very much. Sometimes I can see him walking and exercising outside on Saturday and Sunday.

But brother Qiang has a bad place, that is, he is very greedy for wine.

Speaking of Qiang Ge's jokes about wine, there are really many.

At the beginning, he often told us jokes. He said:

"When I was young, I was still very poor. Everyone rides a bike. I have a big golden deer bicycle, which I cherish very much. I often go out for a drink on this big golden deer bike.

One summer night, I rode a big golden deer bike to a friend's house for a drink. After drinking, I go home by bike.

However, walking, suddenly drunk. Because of this, I feel that I can hardly open my eyes. I just want to find a place to sleep.

After drinking, some people cry and make noise, some people keep talking to others, some people look for other people's business, some people like to call others, and some people cry and shout.

My greatest advantage is to find a place to sleep quickly. It won't take long, but a few hours at most will be enough. Wake up for half an hour, and the wine will wake up more than half.

But when I was drinking, the wine came too fast and I couldn't find a suitable place to sleep.

So I tried to push my bike for a few steps, and finally I couldn't walk any more, so I stopped at the side of the road and wanted to find a place to rest for a while.

At this time, my eyelids pressed down like a load. It's no use pulling my eyelids with my hands. I just want to fall down and sleep.

So you stopped your bike and thought about lying on the side of the road for a while to sleep.

But I was afraid that lying on the side of the road would lose my Dajinlu bike, so I put one leg on the beam of this bike and fell asleep by the side of the road.

Although I drank like that at that time, some parts of my mind were still awake. I thought, even if I fell asleep, I would put my leg on the beam of this bicycle and wrap it around it, and then it would be impossible for others to steal my big golden deer bike.

But after sleeping for less than 2 hours, I woke up and suddenly found that my bike was gone.

At that time, I was sweating with fear, because this bicycle cost me more than two months' salary, which was very low, that is, 56 yuan.

I vaguely saw a man riding my big golden deer bike in front of me, so I quickly called for a thief.

As soon as I shouted, the thief got on the bus and ran faster, but I didn't give up. I chased the thief and drove the man away.

The thief didn't notice a puddle in front of him, so he suddenly fell off the car and fell to the ground in pain.

So I rushed over, and the thief saw that I was desperately catching up, rolling and crawling into the darkness.

When I picked up my bike and tried to chase the thief, I suddenly felt sleepy and couldn't open my eyes anymore.

I want to sleep again this time. I have no choice but to tear off my belt and put it on the beam of this bike. Then I fell asleep with this bike in my arms.

The second time I slept for about 1 hour, and then I woke up slowly. At this time, more than half of the wine woke up, and I pushed my bike home again.

At that time, there was no telephone, and my wife ignored me at home, because I drank too much outside and my wife got used to it. "

joke

We all laughed and said, "You must be telling a story."

Brother Qiang said, "I'm really not telling a story. This is a real thing that I personally experienced.

Besides, there is nothing strange about this story. Let me tell another joke about drinking.

One day, several of us drank too much, and then several of us helped each other out to go to the toilet.

When we came back, we found that Xiao Yong had disappeared, which was very strange. Then we ran back to find Xiao Yong.

It turns out that Xiao Yong peed in a small tree. Tie your belt after urinating and tie yourself to a small tree.

Then Xiao Yong cried with the little tree in his arms, because he couldn't break free.

Xiao Yong and Xiaoshu said, "Grandpa Tree, it was those turtle grandchildren who peed on you just now, which has nothing to do with me. You settle accounts with them, and you let me go. I never dare again. "

We all burst into laughter after hearing it. After urinating, you can tie your belt to the small tree. After being held by the small tree, you can't come out and cry to the small tree, so that the small tree can find trouble with others and let go of yourself. This is also a very interesting joke.

Brother Qiang said, "What I despise most is that when others drink with others, they cheat me to play."

Once I went to my friend's Xiaohua unit to drink, I found that the Xiaohua glass served by the waiter in that unit was mixed with mineral water.

I saw the waiter secretly pour Xiaohua a problematic glass of wine, and then I pretended not to see it.

Obana I said, "I propose a toast to you."

Then I took advantage of the fact that he didn't pay attention to the cup that the waiter poured him water, and drank all the wine in the small flower cup first. Then I handed him my full glass of white wine.

Xiaohua obviously didn't think I would do this, but I have drunk his wine and mineral water on the ground, and he is embarrassed not to drink my full glass of wine.

So he tacitly held his nose and drank my real wine, and then we both laughed casually.

In fact, both sides know what is in this glass of wine, and I also know that there is something wrong with this glass of wine, but neither of us has revealed it.

The end result is that Xiaohua wants to drink my glass of white wine, and I got a big bargain for drinking mineral water.

Another person I can't stand is Xiao Bo, who vomits.

Xiaobo cheats on me every time he drinks with me. After drinking, he will spit the wine in his mouth into the tea when others are not paying attention, and then pour out the tea and wine together when others are not paying attention, and then put on new tea.

The main reason is that after Xiao Bo spit out the wine, he still fights with others without changing his face, taking pleasure in drinking the other person down.

After I discovered Xiaobo's secret, I caught him directly when Xiaobo vomited.

However, Xiao Bo is too thick-skinned. When I caught him, what I didn't expect was that he actually drank all the wine he vomited into his tea and looked at everyone present with a straight face.

When he did this, our eyes fell out of the people drinking at the scene.

Xiaobo is too careless. I drank the wine he just spit out and came to tea, which really made me dizzy. This man is too dirty to do anything. I really can't stand him.

Mainly because wavelet is really speechless. Every time I drink with him, he makes me arrest him like this, but every time I finish drinking, he throws up. There is really no alcohol and moral integrity.

Another problem with this wavelet is that it comes uninvited.

We all know that Xiao Bo has this disgusting problem, and we don't call him when we eat together, but whenever we just sit down, Xiao Bo will come like a dog skin plaster and linger, so we have to give him a pair of chopsticks.

But he is disgusting. We don't call him, but he has no face and no skin, and he is also wonderful.

Besides, this Xiao Bo is a broke guy. If he is invited, he might as well kill him. Xiao Bo has never invited guests himself since we started dating. "

Every time I think of Brother Qiang, I think of these jokes that Brother Qiang told me, but now that Brother Qiang is gone, I still really miss him. "

03 Dawei

I said, "The wine joke told by Brother Qiang just now is so funny. What else is funny? "

David said, "I'll tell you a joke about me and Brother Qiang drinking by ourselves.

Brother Qiang drinks a lot. He can drink two Jin of white wine at a meal, but he drinks urgent wine. It's embarrassing to always fool people with this urgent wine.

I can drink alcohol well, and I can also drink urgent wine. Once I made him suffer, and he never dared to fight with me again.

When I first came to work in our unit, I began to deal with Brother Qiang. Brother Qiang was the deputy director of the office at that time and once had a drink with me.

At first, he said to me, "Let's have a drink first."

No food was served at that time, and the banquet had not officially started. Brother Qiang picked up two and a half cups filled with white wine and drank them with me. After he offered to fill our glasses, he did it first.

I saw him start drinking with me like this, and I was too embarrassed to contradict him, so I drank the glass of 1.

Then he poured a second glass of wine and fucked me again.

At this time, I understood that Brother Qiang must have wanted to come and drink my wine this time, so I did it quietly again.

Then Brother Qiang saw that two glasses of white wine didn't pour me, so he poured us white wine for the third time and did it again.

I didn't say anything, so I drank the third glass of wine with him.

At this time, I saw Brother Qiang start digging the left scalp on his head with his right hand.

I used to hear people say that Brother Qiang had drunk too much, so I unconsciously scratched his scalp with my right hand, so I knew that Brother Qiang had drunk too much when I saw this scene.

So I poured the fourth glass of white wine myself, and then I ran to pour white wine for Brother Qiang. I said:

"The elder brother of the strong, I heard that you drink a lot, I've always wanted to come and learn from the elder brother of the strong how to improve the capacity for liquor. So can you still drink this fourth glass of wine? "

Brother Qiang obviously didn't expect my capacity for liquor to be so large, but because he was looking for something first, he lost face in front of so many people and said:

"There is nothing wrong with this. Just drink it again."

Then the two of us drank the fourth glass of wine.

Brother Qiang hasn't eaten yet, and drinking the fourth glass of wine has reached its limit.

Then I poured white wine into his cup, and this time Brother Qiang blushed.

He doesn't think I can drink more than he can.

At this time, I saw that his face began to turn purple and his eyes were straight. Finally, he said to me, "You are still very good. I really can't drink any more. I just took it. "

I said to Brother Qiang, "Brother Qiang, I heard that you can drink urgent wine, but I can also drink urgent wine. I heard that you can drink 2 Jin, but I can drink naturally and have never been drunk. "

Brother Qiang was convinced by me at this time. He just stood up and sprayed wine.

At that time, we were all shocked and didn't eat anything. We quickly sent Brother Qiang to the Municipal People's Hospital for infusion rescue.

However, after such a game, Brother Qiang never dared to fight me again.

04 joke

Brother Qiang has a characteristic after drinking. He likes to hug others when he drinks more than a catty and a half, especially men.

Just like a big dog sticking out its tongue and licking its master, it comes up enthusiastically, picks up others and bites them in the face.

One winter, Brother Qiang came out after drinking and made a big joke.

He drank too much with others and went home on Sunday afternoon and fell asleep. At five o'clock in the afternoon, he suddenly came out, wearing big shorts and covering the yard with a quilt. We all felt very funny.

At that time, we called Brother Qiang, but Brother Qiang refused. Then we wear this quilt and walk back and forth in the dormitory yard and outside.

Later, Brother Qiang woke up after drinking, so we told him these things. Brother Qiang was so ashamed that his face looked like a big red cloth and said, "I have no impression at all." The person you are talking about is not me. "

Another time, when we were drinking, Brother Qiang suddenly said that he was going to pee outside. We waited for a while, and then we met Brother Qiang.

We were worried that something would happen to him, so we went out to have a look. In the distance, we saw Brother Qiang talking to a telephone pole.

Brother Qiang said, "I told you to go away. Why don't you go away?" Why do you look down on me? "

Then Brother Qiang said that he lifted his foot and kicked the telephone pole, and his foot was hurt by the telephone pole. Then he rushed up to fight with the telephone pole and fell down.

We hurried to pull Brother Qiang and said, "Brother Qiang, you are really drunk this time. Why can't we get along with telephone poles? "

So we dragged him back, but Brother Qiang still insisted on the telephone pole.

Another time, after we finished drinking, Brother Qiang got as drunk as a fiddler and peed on the road in broad daylight.

He peed in holly on the side of the road and pretended to make a phone call, which made me stunned. I said:

"This is a public place. If you let people see it on your mobile phone and send it to you, it will become an internet sensation. You can't pee here. "

Brother Qiang said, "People have three emergencies, but you can't let me pee my pants."

I had to stand in his way and felt as if I had done something wrong.

With the growth of age, Brother Qiang is less and less intolerant of alcohol now, but he still drinks as before.

Everyone and I advised him not to let the wine kidnap him, but Brother Qiang agreed. In fact, he still drinks for himself every day.

Especially in recent years, Brother Qiang's drinking is really unrestrained.

Brother Qiang usually has high blood sugar, so he went to the hospital and asked the doctor to install an insulin injection pump for him.

In this case, most people will definitely give up drinking, but Brother Qiang said that he is in good health, but his blood sugar is a little high, and he still drinks as before without any problems.

On several occasions, I have seen Brother Qiang get drunk and get out of the taxi, holding the wall and moving to his home bit by bit, which makes people feel distressed.

So I said to Brother Qiang, "Brother Qiang, your body doesn't allow you to drink. Don't drink this wine when you are old."

Besides, there is something wrong with your blood sugar. You are 24 years old, so pay more attention.

Your children are not married, at least you should see them get married. "

Brother Qiang said, "I got married late and gave birth to a child too late." My child just went to college this year, otherwise he would have been married.

But I can't live without this wine now. If I stop drinking now, I'm sure I'll die soon I can live a few more years with this wine. "

Qiangsao always asks Qiangge to quit this wine. Now brother Qiang has caused liver damage because of drinking.

Brother Qiang, on the other hand, has no intention of convergence, and he is rushing to participate in various wine bureaus like this every day.

If you don't die, you won't die

Brother Qiang drank too much because he didn't listen to the advice of his family, friends and doctors Finally, he died of cerebral hemorrhage last Monday.

Brother Qiang's body has been kept in the freezer of the crematorium since his death, because his son is studying in the United States and now he can't come back at all.

The strong sister-in-law did not feel pain about the death of strong brother because of drinking, but she was very pleased.

Because sister-in-law Qiang has thinned her mouth, she didn't say what brother Qiang said in the end.

Strong sister-in-law has already lost confidence in strong elder brother and left him alone. Let Brother Qiang live one day at a time.

It is also very sad that husband and wife are related to this step.

Qiangsao once said to us, "I don't care about Qiangge, he doesn't listen at all. He doesn't care about me and my children's life and death. He did this to himself just to drink such a mouthful of wine.

Brother Qiang could have lived a few more years, but for his own sip of wine, brother Qiang even ignored the children and me. What do we care about him? "

Finally, because of the epidemic, Brother Qiang's son couldn't come back now, so he discussed it with Sister Qiang on the phone and cremated Brother Qiang in a hurry.

Brother Qiang's life ended prematurely because of this wine.

It's just a pity that Brother Qiang will get his pension in half a year, but he didn't hold out until half a year later. "

I said, "Brother Qiang, what he did was actually self-inflicted. He insisted on drinking this wine regardless of his relatives. He can't blame others. "

05 sentiment

If you don't die, you won't die This sentence is so right.

I think this sentence is especially suitable for Qiang Ge in this article.

He had a good career and family, but regardless of his own good conditions, he was immersed in wine and was eventually kidnapped and hurt by wine.

It's really nobody's fault, but himself. Brother Qiang really deserved it.

Wine is a good thing. If used well, it can increase people's feelings and regulate people's health. But if you indulge in excessive drinking, it will cause permanent harm to yourself and your family.

Adults must be responsible for their future actions.

Choosing a healthy lifestyle is actually very important.

People live not only for themselves, but also for their husbands, wives and children, parents, relatives and friends.

My friends, how do you deal with such a problem? Do you have any other feelings and thoughts? Welcome everyone to discuss together.

Art comes from life, higher than life. This story is pure fiction. If there are similarities, it is purely coincidental. Don't sit in the right position, or you will not be responsible.