What’s the funniest joke you’ve ever heard?

The funniest joke I have ever heard is: When an "old man" was about to wash his feet, he took off his socks and found that his ankles were completely black. I was so frightened that I quickly called my family. The family members were really shocked when they saw the old man's black feet. He quickly carried the old man on his back and ran to the hospital. The doctor thought the situation was serious and quickly called in an expert. When the experts saw the situation, they quickly ordered photos, CT scans, tests, etc. After a lot of trouble, they were finally scheduled to be hospitalized. The old man was sitting on the hospital bed, preparing to lie down and rest, but then he thought he hadn't washed his feet yet. The son rushed to fetch foot-washing water and slowly washed the old man's feet. It doesn't matter what I wash. I find that the old man's feet are getting whiter and whiter the more I wash them. If I look closely, I can see that the old man's feet are black because his socks have faded and been dyed...

The result is that the children have fulfilled their filial piety, the wife has spared no worries, the doctor has fulfilled his responsibility, and the experts have fulfilled their medical ethics... The results are all so perfect!

The old man had a heart attack and yelled with all his strength: Medicine~medicine...medicine! The grandson heard about it and rushed over: Che...Check, are you making trouble?

Uncle, sudden

2: Yesterday I went downstairs to buy salt. When I came to the store, I found that the boss was beating his son. I said what mistake had I made? Stop beating him. Give me some salt first... The boss said, this guy changed my God of Wealth into Ultraman at some point, and I didn't find out until I worshiped him for a few days. .

3: He spent all his wealth and finally got a chance to travel back in time. He returned to 1998, found the hesitant young man with 500,000 in cash, and told him: "Buy a house." Well, in 10 years, the house price will go up a lot." The man said: "Thank you very much! What's your name?" He smiled strangely: "Of course I know you, Hua. Teng. My name is Zhou Hongyi."

4: What is the meaning of Lu Xun's sentence about the teacher forcing us to understand that one is a jujube tree and the other is in front of my house? Divine comment: At that time, Mr. Lu Xun’s royalties were probably based on the number of words~

5: One sentence proves that you are rich. Divine comment: Jack Ma is a key poverty alleviation target in our village~

1. Pig's hilarious laugh every day: People say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Xiao Wang, who is sleeping with her, is in love and always compliments his girlfriend on her beauty when meeting everyone. One day, Xiao Wang was holding a photo of his girlfriend again, and while looking at it, he said: "It's really a fairy who descended to earth." Xiao Fan snatched the photo, took a look at it, and shouted: "Xiao Wang, did your fairy come down to earth? "Face first?"

2. Brother Pi's hilarious daily laugh: Girl: Do you like my angel face or devil's figure? Man: I...I like your sense of humor.

3. Pig's hilarious daily laugh: Xiao Ming: "Doctor, please tell me quickly, I accidentally ate ink, what should I do?" Doctor: "There is no problem, Xiao Ming, you just need to Just eat a few pieces of absorbent paper and you'll be fine."

4. Brother Pi's hilarious daily laugh: I came home and cried to my mother: "Oh, Mom, I was fired from the company. "My mother asked hurriedly: "Why, kid!" I said helplessly: "The female leader came to work in the morning without makeup, and I said, 'Hey, the new Choubi, give me a glass of water'! ”?

5. Brother Pi’s hilarious laugh every day: Xiao Ming paid the bill for 208 yuan a day. Xiao Ming said: “Boss, just add a zero.” Unexpectedly, the boss laughed: "Don't think I don't understand! It's not okay to put a 0 on it, but it's still OK to put an 8 on it!" So Xiao Ming took out 20 yuan and gave it to him! Run away!

6. Pig's hilarious daily laugh: One day Xiao Ming went to a restaurant to eat. As soon as he took a bite, he called the waiter: "Waiter, why does your food smell bad!" The waiter smelled it. , it does smell bad! The dishes were taken away and another plate was served. Xiao Ming tasted it again and said angrily to the waiter: "Why is there still a smell? Is your dish broken?" The waiter helplessly called the chef over. The chef smelled it and sure enough, there was a smell. He had just put the dish in He took it away, looked down and said, "Xiao Ming, if you put your shoes on better, I believe they won't stink.

”

7. Brother Pi’s hilarious daily laugh: Lao Wang is a strict wife. One day when he was going to the supermarket with his wife, Lao Wang met an old classmate and ran over to chat with him. Mrs. Wang He was not happy and shouted: "Didn't you see what I was carrying in my hand? Come here quickly! "Old Wang was indifferent, and Sister-in-law Wang got angry and shouted: "If you don't come here again, believe it or not, I will slap you twice!" "Old Wangtou: "Old classmate, wait a minute, I'll come over and get slapped twice, don't go, just wait, just slap me twice! "

When Afanti was the governor, one day a rich man took a poor man to Afanti to complain. The reason was that the poor man passed by his restaurant and smelled it. Let The poor man paid. The poor man really had no money, so he was caught here. In the end, Afanti made the following decision: Let the rich man go to the poor man's bed to defecate once, so that the rich man could see that he did not use the money to vent his anger. OK! I agreed to the verdict. The next morning, the rich man went to the poor man’s house after holding a lot of shit. From a distance, he saw Afanti standing at the door of the poor man’s house holding his stomach. The rich man asked: What are you doing here, Governor? Afanti said: I will enforce the law! The rich man asked: I can just leave after the arrest! Afanti said: That is not possible, I will never make a decision. Regret, if you bring out urine when you defecate, I won't forgive you. The rich man blinked and said: "What's that, Governor... I'll come back and practice again!" After saying that, he turned around and ran away without going far.

1. The mother-in-law had just weaned the child and took the child to her room. At this moment, my husband smiled and locked the door. I smiled knowingly, covered my head and hid inside. I was waiting under the covers. Unexpectedly, I only heard the clicking of the lighter. I stretched out my head and saw that this guy was finally able to smoke after holding it in for a year.

2. Taking the high-speed rail back to school, I didn’t know where to arrive. Oh, click on the map, click on the navigation, and then: "You have exceeded the speed limit, you have exceeded the speed limit, please correct the route ahead." "When I see the people next to me looking at me, I know what embarrassment is.

In the past, a man would go to the cemetery to steal sacrifices, come home with a mouth full of fragrance, and boast to his wife that he was so rich and invite friends. He was drinking. One day, his wife secretly followed him and scolded him when he got home.

Because he was under pressure to survive.

Thank you, the best joke I have ever heard is about divorce. You and your wife go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get a divorce. They must divorce. The comrades from the Civil Affairs Bureau persuade and educate them, but they still want to divorce. Later, the comrades from the Civil Affairs Bureau came up with a plan. The solution was to give the woman a cup of brown sugar water and a bouquet of roses, saying that a woman like you is a good talker and beautiful. I envy you. Why don't you divorce him and be friends with me? The divorced man said, "Then let's not divorce. Let's go home. This comrade from the Civil Affairs Bureau also gave him a good education and helped them. Thank you

Xiao Ming went home from school. , I found a condom and put it on my head when I walked in.

Dad asked: "What is this?" ”

Xiao Ming replied: “There will be a performance at school tomorrow. I asked the teacher what should I perform?” The teacher said, you act like a jerk and get out of here. I'll rehearse it first and see if it looks like it. ”

One day, my daughter-in-law fed the old man shrimps. Since he could no longer see, she asked him what he was eating. He said he was eating beans and worms, and she laughed!