Somebody give me a joke that can be used to bury people. Give the reward to whoever answers it first.

In a primary school, two students are quarreling.

A said, "You ... if you scream again, I'll call someone! 」

B said, "You ... you fight! I don't believe this ... "

Then a really went to make a phone call,

When I came back, I put a malicious sentence: "You will know how to die in 30 minutes! 」

At this time, B was extremely nervous, but he could do nothing. After 30 minutes,

School broadcast: "classmate b, you have a visitor, please go to the academic affairs office." 」

Although I'm scared, I think I'm in the academic affairs office and I should be fine.

So he went to the academic affairs office, and a teenager with golden red hair came forward: "Are you so-and-so?" ? 」

B: "I'm ..." ......

"I'm sorry to have waited so long. This is 10 Hawaiian pizza, 1300 yuan! 」

B.

Late at night, Mr. Wang finished correcting the last test paper and turned on the radio wearily.

I want to listen to music to relax.

DJ's voice came from the radio:

"The whole class in Class X, Grade Three, X Middle School dedicated this song to their beloved teacher Wang X.

Thank him for giving them countless exercises over the years (especially this year) and giving them precious opportunities to practice ... "

Hearing this, Mr. Wang's eyes were moist, and a gratified smile appeared on his tired face.

The DJ went on to say, "Now let's listen to this song, Li Huimin's" You really won't have a good result "..."

C. Abuse of idioms

One day, Xiaojun wrote a composition in the classroom-"My Home".

Xiaojun wrote: "My family consists of my father, mother and me. Every morning when we go out,

The three of us parted ways and reached the same goal at night.

Dad is an architect, pointing at the construction site every day;

My mother is a shop assistant and comes to the store every day.

I am a student, and I am in a daze in the classroom every day.

There are three people in my family with the same rotten tastes, and the family is harmonious.

But when my grades were not good, my father also fought with me and killed me.

My mother stood by and never tried to be brave. 」

D. Healthy babies

Homework for a long time, conveniently turn on the radio, a gentle voice:

"If your skin color is pink and the fluff on your face is tender and soft, it means you are healthy."

When I heard this, I couldn't help touching my face, looking in the mirror and smiling again. It looked healthy and lovely.

At this time, listen to the announcer said again:

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, our lecture on raising pigs is over ..."

E. the whole person's expert

When we were in high school, some teachers were very bad to our students.

A group of students have been oppressed for a long time. They are discussing how to punish their teachers.

One day, the teacher was in class, and a boy sitting behind showed a painful expression.

Cover your stomach with your hand and moan softly. The teacher ignored it and went on preaching.

Halfway through the writing, the teacher turned to write notes on the blackboard, and the boy suddenly "Wow! ! ! "(Vomiting)

A boy at the same table poured a bottle of eight-treasure porridge on the table with great speed.

When the teacher turned around, he saw that the table was full of yellow and white things. At this moment, another boy took out a small spoon.

Scoop up the things on the table one by one, chew them up and say, "hey, this is the peanut my buddy ate at noon." 」

The teacher said, "Wow! ! ",and then crazy spit. ......

A little pig is about to be slaughtered. The butcher came to catch him viciously, but the pig said enthusiastically, "Don't be afraid of death, wait for me to read this message."

2. Bears go up the mountain to exercise every day. One day, the tortoise wants to go up the mountain, too. The bear said, you put your four legs in, and I will catch up with you. Up to the top of the mountain, a bird in the tree laughed wildly: Look at your bear-like appearance and flip phone!

3. How serious is the economic crisis? The rich began to cut meat and vowed to reduce the expenses of lovers; The rich man is determined to lose weight, and he is only vegetarian for three meals a day; I also began to shrink back and decided to just send you text messages.

One day, your friend complained to God that God had made him ugly. God didn't answer him, but asked you: Are you satisfied with yourself? You nodded, and God rebuked your friend and said, You complained, but he (she) didn't complain!

5. You are somewhat willful and arrogant; You're a little rebellious and crazy. Although you are awake and idle, you'd better guard the gate with a bone.

We should miss each other every day, but don't meet each other every day. I am in charge of beauty, and you are in charge of making money. You can love someone else, but don't let me find out. If I meet you, hum ... cook noodles with rat poison!

7. Spring has come, birds are in love, ants are living together, flies are pregnant, mosquitoes have miscarried, caterpillars have remarried, frogs have children and dimples. What are we waiting for?

8, hunters hunt bears, unsuccessful, in order to survive, obey the bear, humiliated by the bear. The next day, I hunted again for revenge, but I still failed and was humiliated. After several times, it was time to hunt in the mountains again. Bear joked, are you hunting or selling? !

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, the snow in northern Saibei. Sorry, it's stuck.

10, go! Find someone worthy of your love … I don't know you well enough. I know that some things can't be forced and some distances can't be crossed. Just like yesterday, I really can't believe you left with someone else for a bone.

1 1, tortoise and rabbit race, pig as referee. Do you think the tortoise runs fast or the rabbit runs fast?

12, a cricket bet a pig that I jumped into the grass and you couldn't see me. The pig said, what should I see? So the cricket jumped into the grass. The pig is watching, the pig is watching! The pig is still watching! Why is the pig still watching? ! "

13, if it is a mistake to be beautiful, then I am all wet; If being smart is a crime, I have committed a heinous crime, and it is really difficult to be a human being. But you're fine. You are right and innocent. I really envy you!

14, the left eye is flirting, the right eye is agreeing, and you can do whatever you want with your eyes closed.

. 15, Part I: The person I love was taken away; Bottom line: people who love me are terrible; Hengping: Yours 16, there are three kinds of men who can't marry: newspaper editors-contract manuscripts every day; Send the newspaper-leave it at the door and leave; Copy water meters and meters-only once a month.

17. One day, the male mouse saw the female mouse get into the weeds. After a while, a hedgehog came out. The male mouse grabbed it: you said it was not ambiguous. Who bought you a fur coat?

One day, I will fool people. The envisaged process is as follows:

Me: Do you know who asks the most except people?

XXX: who?

Me: Pig.

XXX: why?

Me: Haha _

The result turned into the following dialogue:

Me: Do you know who asks the most except people?

XXX: pig

Me: Why?

In primary school, I played in the big yard after school. Adults ask after work, "Have you done your homework?" The answer was "no", so I was arrested. When I closed the door, I was slapped twice, and then the adults asked, "Is it fun?" Answer: "Fun", as soon as the words stopped, I got a slap: "I haven't finished my homework. What's the fun? ! "。 I was arrested again. I was slapped twice when I closed the door. The adults asked again, "Is it fun?" Answer: "It's not fun", and then I got a slap: "Do you still want to play if it's not fun? ! "。

A topic requires connecting the following four sentences with related words:

1, sister Zhang Haidi is paralyzed;

2. Sister Zhang Haidi studied tenaciously;

3. Sister Zhang Haidi learned a lot of foreign languages;

4. Sister Zhang Haidi studied acupuncture.

The correct answer should be: "Sister Zhang Haidi, although paralyzed, studied hard and learned not only many foreign languages, but also acupuncture.

As a result, one child wrote: Sister Zhang Haidi was paralyzed despite her tenacious study of acupuncture and many foreign languages.

I found a more fierce child writing: Sister Zhang Haidi not only learned a foreign language, but also learned acupuncture. She studied so doggedly that she was finally paralyzed!